Shot Drinker

Are you familiar with the expression "stating the obvious?"

I have never employed the phrase primarily because it is so cliche, and, well, you don't need to state the obvious.

However, yesterday while running at the river, an opportunity arose to employ this expression in the most suitable of ways.

Let me set the stage. A man whom I guess to be around 23 or 24 was running in front of me. Normally, I pay little attention to anything outside of my rockin' beats on the iPod. However, this young man had a shirt on emblazoned with Shot Drinker across the back. No verbiage on the front, just simply, a statement of clarification across the back for all the world to see.

To me, seeing a man in his young 20's wearing a shirt with the words shot drinker seemed as similar as me wearing a shirt indicating "I have brown hair". I wouldn't wear such a shirt, because I do not need to do I? Anyone who sees me would probably gloss over such a clear and evident detail. Let's not don attire that communicates glaringly obvious facts.

So Shot Drinker...I love your shirt. You drink shots, do you? I love that you wanted to share a fact that would have otherwise been a secret. Unless of course, I saw you at any one of the hundreds of bars in Atlanta, especially on a game day. Do you also have a shirt earmarked as "Tail Chaser?" I am sure you do. Folded up nicely in your drawer underneath your other shirts. You know the ones.

"Ball Scratcher"

"Direction Refuser"

and "I heart porn"

Good for you to help us understand just a speck more about you.

Oh, I am painting with the stereotype brush, I know. You are right.
Not every man scratches their balls
refuses directions
loves porn
likes shots.

But something tells me if you would wear such a pronouncement, its all hands on deck from the peanut gallery.