Thursday, November 29, 2012

Bye bye Turkey...

We went to Seattle for Thanksgiving. BRRRRRR. Thankfully I had giant coats. We spent the holiday with my siblings, a group that has not been in the same place at the same time in a VERY long time. MiniMac loved it. And he went on some seriously amazing adventures. The most awesome being this:

Indoor Skydiving? As a wee one? As my little brother so succinctly put it, "Yet ANOTHER thing I was not doing at age 5."

The only reason I am thankful Thanksgiving is over is I am simply not a fan of Thanksgiving food. The resulting good news is, this isn't a growth holiday for me. As in, my arse sees no growth. But we had a spread, let me tell you. And I am thankful to be back in Warmlanta where it is going to be 65 today.

There is so much to be thankful for. I know this everyday. I am happy, I am loved. I love others. Life is good. I hope you all had a great holiday as well. And while I was home, I was reminded of this story. Too good not to share again.

True Story:

During our sophomore year of college, a girlfriend of mine, KK, went home for a week over Thanksgiving break. Her boyfriend was invited home with her for the holiday. Her parents had agreed to this arrangement only if he stayed in the younger brother's room. Right.

Upon his arrival days before Thanksgiving, he placed his overnight bag and backpack in their entryway. Later, in effort to help him take his bags upstairs, KK picked up his backpack by the bottom. Unfortunately it was only partially zipped and overstuffed with books he would never take one look at during the break. Gravity and weight working against her, the zipper flew open and the contents emptied into the foyer. To which her younger brother, about 12 at the time, spied some contraband and shouted, "MOM, ROB HAS RUBBERS IN HIS BAG." KK was mortified as most 19 year-olds would be. Rob's mortification doubled hers. Her Mom, walking in from the kitchen, spied the bedlam as well and then decided Rob could sleep in the basement.

On Thanksgiving, with a slew of family over for dinner, the group has a great dinner as KK’s Mom and Dad are both fantastic cooks. For the dessert bonanza, her five year old little sister presented a pie she had made as a special surprise. Mom assisted in most of the utensil and ingredient assembly. The 5 y.o. called around the corner to ask the Mom where she could locate the main ingredient, pumpkin, which her Mom said “look for the orange can in the cupboard.” Surprise pie made, she was so proud of her creation. When it was cut open and plated, her Dad was the first to sample. After one bite, the Dad halted all other taste-testers. “Honey, what did you use to make the pie?”
“Whip cream!”
“What else?”
“Can you show me the Pumpkin can?”
All eyes at the table ever so curious….the little sister returns from the kitchen with an empty can. Canned pumpkin not the ONLY orange can in the cupboard. Was the surprise the pie itself? Or was the surprise that her sister had made a pie of wet cat food and covered it with Cool Whip?
Thankfully, after the laughter subsided, there were other pies to eat. At least the spilled rubbers in the foyer were forgotten about...

And finally, after dinner and ready to be strewn about the downstairs den watching football and family games, KK’s Mom opens the basement door to let the dog up who had been sequestered during Thanksgiving dinner revelry and Cat Pie a la mode. The dog races up ever so enthusiastically as the family files downstairs. KK’s Father, first in line, is quick to discover someone didn’t leave the guest bathroom door closed and the dog got into and traipsed the garbage can contents about like tinsel on a tree. He was also the first (of many) to discover that certain visiting holiday guests apparently didn’t learn in college that you flush used condoms down the toilet and DO NOT put them in the garbage can wrapped in tissue.

KK instantly wished they were back at the table eating cat food pie. Rob planned to pack his bags and immediately vacate the household. Nothing like observing evidence of someone's active sex life to combat the tryptophan.

What was KK most thankful for that year? When Thanksgiving ended. And of course, in later years, she could appreciate three very memorable stories all of which summarized by her family as the "Poor Rob" weekend. Even long after Rob was but a memory.

I hope your holiday was just as lively.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

How to vote on Election Day

I wish I was more excited about this election. I wish I had the feeling of hope, ambition and belief I held four years ago. The simple fact is, I don't. And won't. But I am still voting because it is a right I have labored from other people's hard work AND it gives me license to discuss politics for the next four years. (People who dont vote should zip it.)

Politics in general is an unsavory topic in my family. 'God Bless America' is perhaps the only mantra we agree on when it comes to country. Oh, and God Bless our Troops. I am a registered Republican but I believe in choices so perhaps I am a very liberal Republican. I also decline to write about politics in my blog because, well, political opinions are just like standard opinions, which are just like a-holes as in, everybody has one.

The only reason I am writing about politics today is because of a very interesting conversation I had last night with MiniMac.

We have been discussing elections, voting and the voting process in our house for a week or more. MiniMac knows Barack, Michelle and Joe Biden (who isnt particular interesting or "know-worthy." He has also learned about Mitt Romney. His class has also been discussing various components of the election. Last night, he let me know how it is.

MiniMac: Tomorrow is Election Day.
Me: Correct.
MiniMac: I am voting for Mitt Romney.
Me: Really? How did you decide?
MiniMac: I like his hair style.
Me: Really???
MiniMac: And he seems very put together.
Me: Do you know anything about him?
MiniMac: He likes granola. And riding horses.
Me: Do you know anything about Barack?
MiniMac: He likes to play basketball.
Me: You were a fan of Barack before, right?
MiniMac: He already has his turn.
Me: So most people vote based on the concept that a candidate supports and believes in the same thing they themselves support and believe.
MiniMac: For example?
Me: Voters consider their beliefs on education, welfare, government control, healthcare, guns.....
MiniMac: I am not allowed to play with guns!
Me: Right. I'm just letting you know typically you want to map your beliefs to a candidate's beliefs and that is how you choose.
MiniMac: I don't think I am ready to get into that right now.
Me: Perfect.
MiniMac: I am voting for Mitt. Can we make doughnuts now?

I wish the election was that simple. But sometimes the levity is all we need. Get out and vote. And yes, bring on the doughnuts.