Friday, August 28, 2009

What happens in Seattle, stays in Seattle

What happens in Seattle stays in Seattle.

Unless your wife starts a blog, and then, well, best of luck shielding your antics from the world.
Greetings from the Emerald City. Ahhh. My stomping grounds. It is a tremendously good feeling to be in my hometown where we will enjoy the next 9 days.


This is a photo I took a few years ago from one of the many parks in the city. Picture perfect, I'd say.


This is my first bi-coastal blogging. While I am cramming in as many family/friends/fun things as possible, I am a Black Belt in Multi-tasking. Even my amazing Aunt who is 70+ years old asked, "You will still be posting to your blog while you are here, right?"


Oui.


And I would miss you all too much to not "see" you for a week. And I was on a wee bit of withdrawal yesterday because I had zero time with all the traveling to read any blogs. My comments will be lighter this next week, but I will be popping in and out when I can. And I am off to Starbucks soon to pick up the gift card I will bestow upon someone tomorrow!


Tonight, is the kick off of my three-day 20 year high school reunion. One of my friends asked if I was joking, before adding, even Truman Capote knew when to draw the line.


I have kept in great touch with friends from childhood and look so forward to seeing them.


I am also speaking at tomorrow night's formal fete. I promise I won't start off with ....this one time, at band camp. I will mostly make mockery of our hideous hair, sassy large fringe scarves we wore, and of course, our inability to properly break dance.


While I am at the "OMG..do you remember when..." fest tonight sans spouses, my Husband has the option of going out with my little brother.


Days ago, while I chatted with my little brother, HiPie, regarding plans for our visit, one of said plans includes JohnnyMac staying at their house to catch an early tee time one morning. JohnnyMac said that staying at their house will certainly assure he is not in bed early, and not in any shape to play golf early in the am. HiPie swore restraint and good behavior.


I said, oh, that's a precious little lie.


Let me explain.


Two years ago, during a summer visit, we enjoyed a dinner out with HiPie, The RevDoc (my BIL) and some other friends. The boys order the drinks. And keep ordering drinks. Everyone appears oh so very thirsty. After a luxurious 2 hour dinner, we went to a joint that plays karoaoke. Warm it up Chris? I'm about to....


Of course, very soon, our friend CapitolHill and I are doing a perfect job singing Push It. I can't get enough of the yo yo yo yo baby pop.


Some girls get up and sing Bon Jovi. JohnnyMac is a fan of Bon Jovi. He follows them only to bop around behind them like a back up dancer. Not really a back up dancer...more like a highly springy toy bobbing up and down with his hands in the air. Not hands in the air Ludacris style either. His hands in the air was a bit more stick 'em up style.


And my Hub doesn't dance. This should have been a warning sign.


Later, as I am getting ready to sing my favorite Janis Joplin song, Me and Bobby McGee, JohnnyMac hears someone singing Poison. He then proceeds to begin a wobbly ascent up on top of a table to dance. Ummmm, time out on the field. I knew he had to be w-a-s-t-e-d to even attempt such an act.


I then spy him saunter over to the bar with our pals as shots are being purchased and consumed. Oh, this is going to end poorly, I think. I then recognize JohnnyMac's sloppy face. I see it rarely, but when I do, I pay attention. HiPie and I leave him at the bar to go fetch a cab and my parting words to our friends:


"Free neutering for the next one who buys him a shot."


We get in the cab, and aww, night night JohnnyMac. We arrive at my little brother's and JohnnyMac just can't quite wake up. Ever hoisted a full grown man dipped in wasted and rolled in sleepy out of a cab? Oh, its big fun.


The next morning, he wakes up hangover free, because he happens to have DNA that repels hangovers. I did happily show him the pics of him "sleeping" in the cab. Or, as I like to call it "passed out." And he passed out with one eye open which makes for awesome photographs. Arrgghhhh....Of course, as soon as I see HiPie, who was the conductor of that train, I ask him WTF happened with the sudden crazy booze blanket JohnnyMac got wrapped in. And I meant prior to shots being served. His response, "Oh, we had been ordering him doubles all night. Is that wrong?"


If it was wrong, apparently JohnnyMac wanted not to be right. And I did get a small preview of his dance move arsenal, which he has yet to live down.


Hence his statement that going out with my little brother will not improve either his odds of getting up on time for early golf OR his actual golf game.


And why I don't believe any of those innocent little promises my little brother wants to make.


But, then again, it could be me who is a spinning disco ball of wasted come shut eye time tonight so I better not throw stones. But at least I will have my fabulous dance moves. And even if I get a bit sideways tonight with my old friends, my secrets are safe because my husband doesn't write a blog.

64 comments:

J.J. in L.A. said...

Oh, the tales the hubby could weave if he did have a blog! Can you get someone cyber-wasted? That'd do it!

Have fun at your reunion! I'm going to my grade school reunion on Sunday. I've been 'talking' to these people on FB but haven't seen 'em in over 30 years. Yikes!

Chic Mama said...

Wow thats some reunion...3 days!
Awww your poor husband, nothing worse than waking up the next day to be reminded of the antics you got up to the night before. :0)
Have fun!

Vodka Logic said...

Where's the picture for us to see? Hubs will never know...

Have fun at the reunion, and I can't wait for the follow up...because we are lucky YOU write a blog.

xx

My name is PJ. said...

"Free neutering to the next one who buys him a shot." - this is my new favorite quote! And, I might add, the natural title for this missive when it becomes a chapter in your next book! Dare I ask how HiPie came by that moniker? Was 'hippie' morphed?

today's word verification: noreast

Jules said...

You had me at, "Warm it up Chris..."

Have fun at your reunion! Good luck on the speechola!

Simone said...

Absolutely hilarious, I love the way you tell a story.

I would have paid good money to have watched you singing "Push It".....and even more to watch JohnnyMac dancing....sounds like quite a show.

I cannot wait to read your post on the reunion.....something tells me I shouldn't be drinking hot coffee whilst reading it!

Hope the Prince of Georgia is having a ball, am sure he is!

Have fun!

Tammy Howard said...

Karaoke, passed out in cabs, dancing with your hands in the air like you just don't care... have you been spying on me?

I think a three-day reunion sounds just about right... have way too much fun.

Cheers!

Little Ms Blogger said...

Wait....your husband doesn't get hungover??????

J-E-A-L-O-U-S

Sometimes, I can get a hangover off just one drink, others I can drink like I have a hollow leg. However, I'm always certain I end up with a hangover.

Have a great time tonight...

and Push It...great song! :-)

Shop Girl* said...

Aww haha I wish you had a video your Hubs' dance moves--they sounds amaaaazing!! haha

I hope your reunion is wonderful!!

The Peach Tart said...

Oh to be a fly on the wall at this little soiree. I hope to hear more stories about you waving you hands in the air while dancing on the table with JohnnyMac.

the walking man said...

It is because of a similar circumstance that none of my BIL's ever wanted to drink with me...they are afraid, very afraid. The last time one of them tried he peed himself and wound up nude on the couch in a roomful of people passed out. HEY! It was HIS bachelor party.

Mandy said...

Dang, I didn't know you liked old school rap too. Just yesterday I put on "It Takes Two (to make a thing go right)" and got jiggy with my bad self. My husband sounds like yours - he NEVER dances. So if he even starts bustin' a pinky finger, I know he's feeling gooood.

Bi-costal bloggins sounds fun. Better than bi-postal..... we wouldn't want Mr. Crotchety Pants to show up and ruin your Starbucks visit. If so, I know you'd just dropkick a high step for him. ;-)

Enjoy your trip and reunion!

Young Mom/Wife said...

Amazing. I am the instigator in my family, my little brother is the good one.
I love how innocent your brother sounded when admitting to buying your husband doubles and then asking if that was wrong. PRICELESS! Have an awesome weekend!

ladytruth said...

But luckily you believe in sharing good fun,right? Looking forward to read all about it :)

La Belle Mere UK said...

How grateful are you that JohnnyMac doesn't blog? On a scale of 1 - 10?!!!

LBM xxx

When Pigs Fly said...

I am relieved too that my husband does not write a blog. Have a wonderful time in Seattle. It looks like a lovely city.

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh yeah, who's got the power!

Sounds like you may not make it out alive! Love your aunt, so hip!

Good luck with the blackbelt in multi girl!
xxxo

Simone said...

Have just been reading back through some of your previous posts......LOVED JohnnyMac and the Holy Pepper and the "It's Starting...." ....I am crying laughing....fabulous! :)

The Savage said...

Being that I was once a bouncer I know all about physically moving someone wrapped in booze. Luckily I happen to be a rather strong Savage and know how to pick up a dead weighted human. Even though it is easier to drag said body I always made it a point to pick them up and jostle them around quite a bit just to shake up and properly mix they had in their guts.
I have a poem about white boys dancing. I should e-mail that to you.

Ju said...

Fun is in the air for the Mac family. Hope someone's in charge of Little Man in the morning.
Great pic btw.

Ju :)

Joanne said...

I sometimes feel bad writing about my antics on my blog because there are definitely some things that are flavored with the "what happens in blank stays in blank" attitude. But so many things are just too funny NOT to post. So there you have it.

Have fun at your reunion!

Scrappy Girl said...

I think even my little ones are watching their step now that I blog everything. LOL! Have fun!

McVal said...

Too bad you didn't have pictures! But then, it might be bad for your marriage... I hope you have a great time!

Lisa and Laura said...

Love it! You just keep blogging it out my friend. Can't wait to hear all the deets on your big weekend.

♥Aubrey said...

Fun times definitely are good for sharing :) I think your secrets are safe here...what do you say bloggees?
You GO...GO!!! WoW he was attempting a table dance? What a sight to see. Hope he had the mic in hand and wasn't a wobbly weeble. {Pics are worth a thousand words times two in this case}
Nice to see that you arrived safely. Gotta love our weather out here. No rain in the forecast YET...cross your fingers and your toes. Have a wonderful time at your reunion. Laugh it up. Live it up. Drink it up ♥

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Seattle is probably number two of places I want to visit in these United States of Ours.

At the same time, I have avoided reunions like the plague. It helps that I'm four states away and that I don't get the invitations until after the date to RSVP printed inside them. Oh well.

Emily said...

Just make sure your hubs doesn't have a camera handy in the even that you get a little tipsy...you want to keep the upper hand!
That sounds like my kind of time, though! Poison and Jovi...Johnny Mac has great taste!
Have a fabulous time and I'm looking forward to reading some good stories.
Oh, and my hubs can't go out with my bro w/o getting wasted either...what's up with that?!

La La La Leah said...

Still pretty jealous and bitter that you are in Seattle... BITTER. That is crazy about your husband not getting hung over... I bet he was a hit in college =) Really people play golf in Seattle?? get out of here.... Have a good SAFE weekend.
xoxoxo

Rose said...

ha ! thats funny! Enjoy your reunion. Sounds like you and Johnnie will be bringing it Mac style. Have a good time and of course download the pics.

Shorty said...

Enjoy the night out! Can't wait to hear the next round of stories.

Doula said...

Yes, I know of that sloppy drunk look. When my dear hubby gets that look I know I'm in for a interesting time. My husbands instigator is his closest childhood friend, when they go out I make sure he has enough cab fare!And I pretend I am sleeping when he comes to bed!

foxy said...

I can only imagine the things he'd say if he DID have a blog!!

I'm just sayin, my hubby tries to keep up with my younger brother in the partying category too. Okay, I might, from time to time, be guilty of the same exact thing. If you can still hang, then you can't be considered 'old' right?

Yankee Girl said...

I suck at multi-tasking. If I try to do it I usually end up hurting myself....

I'm going to Seattle in the spring for my first trip there. When it gets closer you know I'll be coming to you for tips!

Have fun at the reunion!

Vivienne said...

No fair that he does not get hangovers.

My husband doesn't write a blog (so he can't post the sloppy lush material I could provide for him) but he does read my blog, so I self-edit.

I can't wait to hear the tales from your weekend!

Intense Guy said...

I'd love to hear his side of the story - if only for the awesome pictures of you dancing with your arms in the air.

Enjoy your reunion! Sounds like its off to a grand start.

AmyK said...

Class Reunions are always an eye opener. The nerdie guy is now hot. The homecoming Queen got fat. Most of the football players have receding hairlines, and all the same clicks still sit together. OK, that was my reunions.I worked on the first 2,but after that I was done. Have a great time. You know we want to hear about it.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Oh man, I'm laughing! Is your hubby blushing?! HAHAHA!!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

You're 20-year reunion. How exciting. I wish I'd been able to go to mine. Be sure to fill us in on all the details! Does the beauty queen look the same? The jocks?

Kristina P. said...

My husband should start a blog. He would be hilarious. And rip me to shreds! Have a great time!

carma said...

your husband doesn't have a blog -- yet! Of course, they only take minutes to set up ;-) Hope he has his camera handy..

Char said...

LOL so funny

I tried to write funny this morning but blogger ate it. Boo for blogger today.

Liam said...

Public speaking! Good luck.

Looks like we're from the same neck of the woods. I don't live there now but I'm originally from Tacoma.

Constructive Attitude said...

Have a great time while you're up there! and keep us posted :) :) and tell ur great aunt i say hi! lol

Alicia said...

haaa!! i love it! i can totally picture it in my head. and incidentally, i happen to be quite the karaoke machine. i'm just sayin', do with that information what you will! have fun in seattle! i will be in the sunshine state right below you roasting my fine hiney off!

Scandalous Housewife said...

JennyMac,
What fun! My MUCH younger sis lives in Seattle with her rock star boyfriend (his band is Aqueduct. We spent 10 days there last summer, and her crazy group of hooligan friends visit often. Click 'emerald city' on the top left search box of my blog and you'll get more than you bargained for. Or try 'first lady of bucket county'...

Badass Geek said...

Seems to me like we should have some good stories to read once you get back home. Have fun!

One Sassy Girl said...

I kept in touch with all my childhood friends, too. The good ones, at least. Have fun catching up!

Maureen said...

Oh gad, thank the gods my hubby doesn't blog. He doesn't even READ mine. Good thing. I'd have a lot of 'splainin to do!

Have a wonderful time! What a beautiful city!

vanilla said...

Lucky you. No need to say "have fun." Seems you already are doing that.
I lived in Seattle for seven years--back in the 50s. And it has been seven years since I've been there.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Oh have fun! Your secrets are safe with me too!

I wish I had your hubby's DNA. Hangover free? Nice genes!

I'm due for my 25th next month but I'm gonna pass on that one.

Hugs!!

Amanda said...

I love a good story, and can't wait for the post-reunion installments!

Looking forward to a few more JohnnyMac stories too! Those dance moves sound like my husbands! How is it that he doesn't get hungover?

Have a fab weekend!

MelRoXx said...

cute! x

Baloney said...

My husband loves to threaten to put things in his blog. Never gonna happen - I'm safe!

Orange Juice said...

ahhh! I can't believe u didn't post the pic for us to enjoy too. sad.
have tons of fun!!!

Orange Juice said...

where's the pic for us all to enjoy too? :)
Have tons of fun!!!!

Lance said...

Have fun at the reunion festivities...and good luck to your husband in finding that tee time.

We visited Seattle last summer - what a fun city! Enjoy your time there!

Laura Trevey said...

So glad I just found your very
entertaining blog!!
Have a beautiful weekend ~~

xo Laura

hiking in stilettos said...

Hilarious story, and you did get to see the dance moves. Besides, the pictures will always come in handy! Hope you have a great time in Seattle!

Eva Gallant said...

My class had a 3-day reunion in Boothbay Harbor, a resort town. We all motelled it, had a one-hour sea cruise to Cabbage Island for a Lobster feed, and partied back at the motel far into the night. It was a blast!!

I know you'll have a great time. Would love to be a fly one the wall!

Slamdunk said...

Funny stuff and I hope you enjoyed your "remembering" time.

A French Cloud said...

just catching up...how fun to be at a high school reunion. I would think the 20th is a little more "real" and not all trying to "one up" each other..have a safe time.

PinkBow said...

sounds like you're having a great time :)

otherworldlyone said...

Too funny!

Mrs. Montoya said...

OMG - I can NOT wait to hear the tales from the 3 day reunion. They are sure to be fantastic! I hope you and JohnnyMac have a great time. We know the Prince of Georgia will be well cared for!