Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Don't mishandle the company wiener

In Wisconsin last week, the famous Oscar Mayer Wienermobile crashed through the front door of a home doing structural damage to the deck and garage.

Are you serious?

No, it wasn't a runaway wiener. The Terrible Driver of the Wienermobile had a mishap.
And this poor front door might need some counseling.

How did this happen? Oh, the driver thought he was moving in reverse but was actually in drive. And after pouncing on the gas pedal, this is what happens....

No one was home and no one was injured. THANKGOD because NO ONE wants to go to work after that hospital visit and confess they were injured by a giant unexpected wiener. A giant unexpected wiener will leave a mark.

And I am sure that poor driver, besides being hazed endlessly for months to come, is no longer allowed to put his hands on that particular wiener.

And I can't imagine the homeowners' expression to drive up and see this poking out of the front of their house.

Ahhh, its just like elementary school, where jokes about wieners were king. Seriously, the juvenile one-liners here abound.

Oscar Mayer certainly does have a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a.

But in all seriousness, how does that phone call to the boss go?

I accidentally got confused between moving the wiener forward and backward, and next thing you know, I broke it.

Ummm, don't you remember anything from 10th grade? As in any time when handling wieners, safety first?

If you don't know the difference between reverse and drive, your wiener shall come NO WHERE near me. Lord knows you might also confuse front and back. These are BASIC directions.

And there was some damage to both the wiener and the home. A representative of Oscar Mayer indicated all damages will be covered by insurance.

Wiener insurance? Love it. Had I only known this during JohnnyMac's hot peppered peeper incident, I would have been relieved. You know, just in case.

So should you be having a bad day on the job, be relieved you aren't the driver of this Wienermobile. Although, he did technically get a homerun even if the house was completely taken by surprise. Gives a new perspective to the expression "Stop banging the door!"

92 comments:

Passion Fruit said...

This post so gave me a craving for a hot dog.

I think that the Wiener Driver is not to blame; it was the Wiener itself that had enough of his home garage - don't we all want a break from the daily routine every now and then?

the walking man said...

"...And I can't imagine the homeowners' expression to drive up and see this poking out of the front of their house."

Looks to me like the wiener was poking in not out. But then it is a still picture and not a movie.

The Savage said...

I no longer wish to be an Oscar Meyer Wiener....

Heavenly Housewife said...

oops, I dented my wiener LOL!!!!!!

My name is PJ. said...

If you had covered the story for local news, ratings would have gone up....THIS is how I want to see my 6:00 pm news delivered. Or at least sandwiched. :)

Matthew said...

A hot dog on wheels - what's not to like? I'd much rather see one of those crash through my wall than a Red Bull Mini.

Dustjacket Attic said...

Ooo very witty and funny!
xxx

Caroline Alexander said...

ha ha, just stopping by from SITS to say HI.

Jennifer

Gin said...

"Oh no my wiener and I had a little accident"

This is too funny and yes it does take me back to elementary school!

Young Mom/Wife said...

hahaha, WOW!

Sami said...

I saw the Wienermobile about 6 years ago... it was broken down in a Macaroni Grill parking lot! LOL, doesn't look like it's faring too much better now!

MG said...

Ha! I accidently crashed my husband's truck into our house a few years ago. All I can say is thank God for insurance. There was tons of damage to the truck and we had to get a new garage door, but no structual damage!

And yes, it was quite a phone call to make!

Jen said...

First of all, if your job is to drive the Weinermobile, you are starting out with some issues. Driving into someone's home on top of that is just sad. But, it does make for a great blog post.

otherworldlyone said...

Sneak attack by giant runaway wiener. If I had to go...it should be like that. Quick, relatively painless, and getting railed till the very end.

Hilarious.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Yes, I saw this the other day! Of all the things to have hit your house ... I'm sure the homeowners' story garners little to no sympathy!

The Peach Tart said...

My last ex-husband once drove into our garage from a long road trip with our two bicycles on top. Crash. Not pretty.

A wiener would have made for a better story.

Sunshinemeg said...

One day I will drive that thing. Mark my word!

Jules said...

I used to want to be the Wiener driver......

vanilla said...

I note that you used the generic "he" as the identifier of the driver.

Your report is by far the funniest one I have seen or read!

Emily said...

I'd say a broken wiener in any capacity is bad news! ;)

Nora Johnson said...

Run over by a runaway wiener - you couldn't make it up!:)

Terrific post!

xxLOL LOLA:)

Mommy Mac said...

Ram'em and cram'em.

That tends to be the philosophy of the men that I cohabitat with.

Hotdogs that is.

Perhaps that driver once lived here too.

I have a whole new perspective on the word, "'CONDOM'-ment" now, don't you?

.mac :)

Eternally Distracted said...

That is definitely not a phone call you want to make to your boss ... and how fast was this guy trying to drive backwards?? ... Lets hope he wasn't trying to reverse away from his own house after sneaking in for lunch!

Marie Antionette said...

LOL...You are right,No one wants to go to work and say they were hit by a giant weiner...LOLXXOO Marie Antionette

leggy said...

i just suddenly feel like eating hot dog...lol
u were hilarious as usual..love u.

The Caped Tirader said...

Hahah...I saaw that article! I like your take on the drivers inability to handle his weiner! good stuff

Inna said...

I think I'll have wieners for lunch.
How do you think the driver told his wife he drove his wiener into a house?

Hollyrocks said...

I thought dirty thoughts when I saw this on the news, but I sometimes think like a 13-year-old boy so that didn't surprise me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's getting a kick out of it.

Sabrina said...

IF this were an episode of The Office, I'm sure there would be a way to insert the phrase, "that's what she said" in many different ways!
HA! :)

Kris said...

A friend of mine saw the weiner car outside her home afew weeks ago in Cali. I would be creeped out if I lived in the burbs and saw a giant hot dog outside my window.

confused homemaker said...

I saw this on the news; however, your take does give it a different spin.

McVal said...

LOL! I have no response for that... that hasn't already been said!

Christina Lee said...

it brings out he 13 year old in all of us hehe

Badass Geek said...

A man should always have control of his Weiner. There is just no excuse for this.

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Too funny!

Tania (via SITS)

Vodka Logic said...

I tell the story of the State policeman that hit me.. no one believes me.

Great story

xx

Lauren said...

Poor driver! It's a humiliating day when a man breaks his wiener. So funny!

Laila Of Course! said...

ahahahah. Your post was simply hilarious! And some of your sentences had me going-- wait, what EXACTLY is she saying here? BRILLIANT.
ahahha.
Be sure and drop by and leave a note! :)

-Laila
www.randomweavings.blogspot.com

Ela said...

Oh dear, does insurance cover damage caused by a wiener?

Pollyanna (formerly the Laughing Idiot) said...

Only in the Great White North . . .

I bet that homeowner felt violated - I'd have to file a sexual harassment claim against Oscar Meyer.

Yankee Girl said...

I thought riding the Harley to work was an awesome way to start the day today, but reading this just made it that much better! How can anyone be in a bad mood after laughing that hard?!

JenJen said...

Sometimes people with big weiners don't get how much power they really have....
Ahem.

Lady Di said...

Ah, cut the guy some slack, it's not like a hot dog has a "front" and a "back". In fact, it's an age old dilemma having to decide which "end" of the hot dog to start with when you begin to eat it. Oh, and everybody knows wiener insurance is a must. It goes, home insurance, car insurance, health insurance, wiener insurance.

Fashion Moment said...

Thank you for the comment! Fabulous blog & post!

FM~FP~AF

mrsb said...

Wow, that's another way to think about the term "parking the pink sausage in the garage".

*snort*

Stephanie said...

So there IS such a thing as too big then. Huh. Who'd-a thought?

foxy said...

Oh how freakin funny! And the link to the peppered peeper story? Even funnier. Thanks for making me smile this morning!!

Hit 40 said...

Why is the wiener mobile accident not at the top of the national news?? Why more interesting than the budget that no one ever plans to balance.

Transparent Mama said...

I just loved the phrase, "a giant unexpected weiner." This is a great post.

Hyphen Mama said...

Forget the call to the boss... imagine the call to 911. THAT would be a tough call to make. "Um, I uh, just rammed my 30 foot wiener through a stranger's house....can you send the jaws of life?"

Mira said...

It's also never good to get a weiner jammed into a place it can't get out of. I wonder what kind of lube they use on a house door?

blueviolet said...

Oh no...a giant wiener out of control? Now that is a nightmare!

Little Ms Blogger said...

I wish the wiener mobile would come to my town - I loved my wiener ring I had as a child.

Mama Badger said...

I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. Do you think he'll go around from now on saying he flattened a porch with his giant weiner?

Nina said...

That is funny! Poor driver is never going to live this one down.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

More to the point, how does the HOMEOWNER's call to his boss go when he has to stay home tomorrow to board shit up? "UM hi. What's that? No I'm not sick, I just have an 8 foot weiner in my front porch. No that's NOT a euphemism, I'm for realsies!"

Lisa Anne said...

You are so funny. Did this really happen? Hey I love weiners, not get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about the hotdogs here. YUM!

Southern Champagne Wishes said...

I laughed until I cried when I read this post. And, seriously how will this guy ever live this down? If I were his friends, family, or coworkers (assuming they're actually going to put him in charge of another weiner) I would never let him forget the day that he let his weiner take over.

Hannah Miet said...

My fourth grade self had an f'in ball with this post. Dying of laughter at the office.

Constructive Attitude said...

I'M ADDING YOU TO THE LIST, CUZ YOU ROCK!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOO


We've given you FOUR awards, CHECK IT OUT!!!!!

Laoch of Chicago said...

It says something awful about me that just the picture of the absurd hot dog truck made me hungry.

La La La Leah said...

I wonder if he got fired for not being nice to the wiener..... I did see this on the news as well. I am glad I am not a wiener wrecker or a home wrecker.

Shop Girl* said...

This may or may not have been the greatest thing I've read all day.

Erin said...

I am loving all of the insinuations...

Looks like they are going to have to get the weiner fixed. Poor weiner.

Gaston Studio said...

Hey, thanks for visiting my blog today; thought I'd pay you a return visit and LMAO. Agree with Badass Geek tho, a man should have control of his weiner.

Jane

carma said...

On the brighter side, I bet that driver now has some much needed Street Cred

Green-Eyed Momster said...

You never know, that house may have been horny and asked for it!!
Oh, the 12 year old in me just wants to yell "That house is f#cked!"
I'm sorry, I'll behave now but I will not stop laughing.

Glad no one was hurt in the freak accidental house penetration.

Hugs!!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Well, if anyone was wondering if it was circumsized, this probably cleared up those questions.
Mazel Tov!

A Balancing Act said...

Wow! This is freaking awesome. LMAO
That poor house.

Miss Rosa said...

Oh wow. The driver will never live that down. Ever.

Magic City College Girl said...

oh man. i feel bad for the homeowner and the driver. what a crazy situation. i cant image the facial expressions of the people when this happened. lol i know exactly what you mean by the elementary school weiner jokes. my elementary school self was laughing my ass off at the pic. and we know how kids wont hold back when adults aint around so i can image those jokes.

Alicia said...

haaaaaa holy crap i'm in love! that was amazing!! this is why women are much better wiener handlers. i have a natural ability to maneuver the wiener...lol

Mark said...

Well at least the wiener had protection (insurance). Very funny post, thanks for the smiles.

sheila said...

I hadn't heard of this! lol, omg, love this post, it's frickin hysterical! FOMLMAO!

This wouldof been SO something that could of happened to me in my house. lol

Missy said...

OMG! The driver was probably some executive who lost his job and had to take a job as a weiner driver to make it!

Eric said...

That is absolutely crazy funny.
The people working on it / inspecting it look like they are wearing weinermobile flight suits too...

Helen McGinn said...

Ooh, that's gotta hurt! x

Miss M said...

Too too funny!!

Lisa said...

You are hilarious!! Has anyone actually ever seen a Wienermobile driving in real life?

Jen said...

oh this is just too funny!

valentine said...

haha, he broke the weiner. can't wait to sign his cast.

Kristina P. said...

I LOVE wieners. Seriously. It's a good thing I'm not a lesbian.

Whimsical Creations said...

LMBO!

Vivienne said...

Holy Nitrates. I saw this on the news, but like your reporting style much better!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

That is hilarious! Now I'm going to be singing the Weiner song all day long.

You rock my dear, always make my day better with a smile!

Lori said...

This is hilarious, after that...can I have a cocktail now?

Lori

Unknown Mami said...

I hope that wiener was covered -with insurance. I'd hate to have a strange uncovered wiener enter my garage. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Just Playing Pretend said...

Imagine if you were at home sitting in your living room watching a little tv and a wiener came crashing through the front of your house.

I'd kill to see that.

Suldog said...

Oh, Lord. I would dearly love to have heard the conversation when the homeowner filed the insurance claim. It had to have been priceless.

The818 said...

Oh this is too funny.

Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

OMG thank you for including so many wiener jokes! Made my day.

Deborah Godin said...

Looks like a case of premature acceleration to me, but don't worry, it happens to to all the weinermobile drivers, and it's not a big deal...