Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mr. and Mrs. Wrong

In many a modern romance, one believes that kindred spirits and soul mates exist. And from here to the furthest corners of the earth, you will find, women who earnestly believe in love.

And then there are just delusional gals living in Cuckoo Town. That's where we are going today so pack your satchel friends.....

Why? Oh, there must be some compelling reason.I mean, no one would do this just under normal circumstances, RIGHT?

Alas. Her assertion is it is LOVE. And she believes the dog has many of the qualities of her late father.

Let me ponder. I can see loyal, spunky, and maybe well-behaved. However, that's why dogs make great pets, even "family" members. Not domestic partners or conjugual pals.

Emily Mabou a 29 year old woman living in Aburi, married her 18-month-old dog.
Ummm...there is a litany of sophomoric locker-room style humor that can be inserted here but I will refrain because well, it's just too easy. However, I will say at the minimum, this constitutes a rather odd situation, yes? And at the maximum, its seems so pitiful and sad.

And I am all for love...and even May-December romances, but this, well, it doesn't remotely qualify. I LOVED my dog. She slept in her bed, I would kiss her little face, and occasionally I would let her lick off my ice cream cone and then continue eating it. But I draw the line at "CIVIL CEREMONY."

Ms. Mabou's ceremony was attended by a traditional priest and some of her local villagers who were curious and let's admit it, just wanted to see a train wreck live.

She does have a younger brother, David, who indicated the family declined attending the wedding which they felt was "a stupid step to combat her loneliness".

Ms Mabou said: "For so long, I've been praying for a life partner who will have all the qualities of my dad. My dad was kind, faithful, and loyal to my mum, and he never let her down."I've been in relationships with so many men here in Togo, and they are all the same - skirt-chasers and cheaters. My dog is kind, and loyal to me and he treats me with so much respect."

Right. And he licks his own nuggets. Dogs hump legs and pillows. They have no discerning capability. Perfect.

In the ceremony, the priest warned villagers not to mock the wedding, but to "rejoice with her as she has found happiness at last". Poor, sweet traditional Ghana priest....you must not know much about the human condition and our proclivity towards scuttlebutt. Mock? If she had a broken leg I think your request would be honored. She married a PUPPY. Mockery is the cherry on top of such a bizarre event.

Asked how she intends to raise children with her new husband, Ms. Mabou said simply: "We will adopt."

Whhhhhew....for a minute there, I thought you might be crazy Ms. Mabou, but you really bouyed back with that answer. Of course you are going to adopt unless you plan on shagging your DOG and bearing a litter. For the love of all things sacred, please tell me this is the last we see of a story like this. But congratulations Ms. Mabou, you actually provided something more interesting to read than the media coverage regarding Katie Holmes upcoming appearance on So You Think You Can Dance. Thank you.

38 comments:

Lemon Shortbread said...

Lol funny article and picture! I've heard of people who marries frogs and dead people too, makes one headscratch!

the walking man said...

I wonder if the mutt is going to get a job or just sponge off his wife?

Jules said...

People are crazy! You're better off adopting on your own crazy lady with the dog!

ellen abbott said...

At least he won't be telling her what to do all the time and asking for money.

Thanks for visiting me. I hope you stay around and enjoy the show. You have a new devotee here. I'll follow anyone who smiles at me. Well, not really...ok, maybe just a little but you are funny.

confused homemaker said...

what's really strange is that she married the dog so she could marry her dad. now that's freudian.

Sally-Sal said...

If anyone here as cause as to why this union should not take place, speak now or forever scratch your fleas.

Alicia W. said...

I loved reading your post.
HELLO from S.C! :)

Mandy said...

Hilarious, sick and twisted - I love it! Please let us know if they end up on the Montel Williams show. LOL! I found your blog hopping along the blog extravaganza. I love it and can't wait to read more of your witty thoughts. ~Mandy

the girl with the pink teacup said...

This is probably the wrong moment to bring up the origin of werewolves, isn't it?




and @ Sally-Sal: genius.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

So...why did the priest from Ghana go to Togo in order to do the marriage? Apparently, the Togolese priests were sane and rational.

And, you know...most religions don't consider the marriage complete until it's...consummated...

Scrappy Girl said...

Thank goodness there is interesting news to show in between the continuous coverage of Michael Jackson and Jon Gosselin's girlfriend!

This however is so stupid and someone needs to tell the priest or minister or whatever he calls himself that the wedding itself is a mockery of marriage and he should be ashamed of himself.

Mira is triplet crown said...

Funny, people do so many weird things but loneliness can be the root of a lot of it...sad actually. But imagine what the adoption counsellor will say..

La Belle Mere UK said...

I wonder how she wooed him?? Perhaps she showed him her puppies?!!

Woof! ;-)

B x

Yankee Girl said...

I don't think I can marry someone who's shit I would have to clean up on a daily basis. That is supposed to happen after 50 years of marriage, not on the honeymoon!

Piper Jacquelyn said...

"WE will adopt." WTF? Wow, crazy. What's super odd is that she married a dog because it reminded her of her father. Isn't that super creepy to? Anyone?!

JennyMac said...

Great commentary, you blogging geniuses. And who comprised the wedding party? 6 sheep and a very pretty goat?

B.o.B. said...

I read about all of these and kind of thought it was a good idea. (I kid, I kid.)

Thanks for stopping by my blog SITSta!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

That is very messed up and sad. I wonder what will happen the first time she has to travel somewhere and she needs to kennel him. I wonder if this lady lives some place where there are no leash laws. Because I think that would put a little strain on the relationship -- tugging on that chain and all. I agree with Yankeee Girl, cleaning up all that crap would suck.
Thanks for stopping by. I will be back. Very funny stuff.

One Sassy Girl said...

What's truly tragic is this made me think about my own dating life, sigh... if only I was crazy, too, I'd have been married by now.
I wonder if she registered.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

But, will they adopt human babies or puppies?

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Did the ceremony include the exchange of flea collars?

Registered at PetSmart?

So now, if a good guy shows up, does she have to reject him, because she is already married?

PinkBow said...

is this what the world has come to!?! :)

Alicia said...

oh yikes...now i've heard everything. i wish them both a happy marriage.

Elizabeth Marie said...

Adopt...of course they will.

That picture is HILARIOUS! What are we doing today? LOL

I love your blog!

Amy said...

Oh My God. The priest should be defrocked asap for participating in such foolishness.

Sometimes we all prefer our dogs company to our husbands, but this - is batshit crazy.

The Nice One said...

I am trying to decide if this is crazier or less crazy than the lady who married her bow, then left it so that she could marry the Eiffel Tower. Hmmm....

Lee said...

If the dog resembles her dad...hmmmm...does that mean her dad is a dog?? Isn't that NOT a compliment? Love the story though! Love your writing style and your humor!

The imPerfect Houswife said...

I can't believe he said yes when she proposed! He was probably so excited - I'm picturing the scene from Lady and the Tramp and a shared plate of spaghetti. Awwwe. I tell you what though, as soon as my husband started licking himself and peeing on the furniture, the honeymoon was over! I hope she's ready for that!

Intense Guy said...

I certainly do hope they consider the local Ghanaian SPCA for adopting.

LMAO @ "Registered at PetSmart?"

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Holy moley. I thought a person had to be sane before they could get married. Guess it's a little different in other countries . . .

Unknown Mami said...

Oh my. I live in California where same-sex marriage is no longer being sanctioned, but a woman can marry a dog in another part of the world. Hmmm, something is wrong with this picture.

Helen McGinn said...

*Smacking my hand off the desk in laughter* There.are.no.words.

otherworldlyone said...

Oh wow. "We will adopt." Wow.

I went to high school with this chick that used to put peanut butter all over her biznass and let her dog go to town. No shit.

Maybe she just changed her name and moved to...Togo, was it?

Heavenly Housewife said...

I have a theory about people who love their pets like this. I think they love the animal because it doesn't talk back to them and tell them what dingbats they really are.

Pop and Ice said...

We have to hope that no adoption agency would touch her with a 10 foot pole. Seriously, she's deranged. I'm all for pets and the comfort and love they give, but to channel your Dad through a dog and marry the dog? That's almost like incest. And it's just wrong.

heather said...

Wow. How sad. And it reminds me, there are a group of people, I forget what they call themselves -they aren't gay and they aren't straight because they are attracted to building-like structures. It's truth. I saw it on the Today show, or one of those morning news/ talk programs. They interviewed this one woman who insisted that this one particular building sexually satisfied her.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Wait a minute. People can MARRY ANIMALS but we can't have same-sex marriages of the SAME SPECIES in the US??

UPrinting said...

Haha! Yes. Good point Tracey.
And LOL at that dog's photo.

"We will adopt." - Goodness. Fortunately I heard an answer I'm actually happy to hear. I'd feel bad for the kid though. He might get mocked by the other kids because of this.

This world is getting loopier by the minute. Global warming effects?