First up, a tidbit of local news from this week: A 40 year old babysitter in a community 45 minutes from downtown Atlanta is being sought for allegedly giving wine to an infant that ended up hospitalized with a blood-alcohol content of .33.
No. I am not. Every one reading feel free to writhe with fury.
This was not the regular babysitter but the parents had another medical emergency so they used this recommendation. The Grandmother came to pick up the children and discovered the infant in a lifeless state. The infant was immediately taken to the emergency room. Police said the baby recovered and was released from the hospital Wednesday. Thankfully. Permanent damage is unknown at this time.
Considering most adults can't function at .33 BAC, I can not fathom what in the _____ this woman was thinking to subject a baby to such atrocious risk. No, she didn't think it was grape juice.
And now, she is on the run. And I certainly hope they find her soon. We shouldn't judge others? Wrong. We shouldn't judge normal others. D-bags are not protected. You give my child wine because you are in reality the worst babysitter on earth who doesnt actually like to babysit, you will have more to fear than being behind bars. In fact, you will beg for the jail. Double that in the event either of our son's Grandmothers EVER found that someone had mishandled our child. In that case, you will race to the electric chair willingly.
And because tragedy loves comedy, let's end on a more humorous if no less ill note.
A 53 year old man from Jonesboro, Georgia was arrested a few days ago for performing a sexual act on his dog. His picture was published on AJC.com so no need to dirty up my blog with it.
Doggy style is merely a euphemism. Too big a word for you? Ok, well, its a position. Not a literal translation.
Enjoy jail. You will now know what doggy-prison-style is like.
Enjoy the felony bestiality charge on your record. That will look awesome during job application time.
Did you know you can pay people to do that? Since you clearly didn't set a high bar, it won't cost much. I will mail you the quarter.
Did you also know people will pay you to have you do that to them? Uh huh. Since you didn't set a high bar, you could probably make your quarter back.
Oh, and how in the world the police found out about you, I am not sure. Perhaps you were trolling the Internet for willing pals. Heads up, dogs don't read the #^@%!)! Internet. Also, don't share this story down at the local saloon. No amount of drunk makes this a fascinating tale. You must have done something even more bizarre to tip people off. You are a moron. I hope that dog goes into Witness Protection.
Georgia has 'em...not you. Don't be jealous.