Friday, July 24, 2009

My own cartoon life?




My mom sent this cartoon to me and wrote, "see what you have to look forward to with a son?"

I hope she is not correct, but anticipate she is. Lord help us.
So far, my two year old has merely told me to get a penis. Time might still be on my side.

When my older brother was little, he dumped an entire bucket of frogs on my parents bed to show my mom all his "new friends".

And he ate petrified dog shat.

And once, he was doing something very wrong. My mom spied him through the window. She called out, "IF YOU DON"T STOP THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET A SPANKING!"

He answered back, "Are you coming out here to do it or should I come inside?"

My little brother got out of the house when everyone was asleep. He was almost 3 and walked up the street to play in a pond. And he wore my mother's gorgeous wedding heels when he did it.

In several of these examples, somebody got their arse beat.


Please don't let this happen at our house.

Happy Friday.

100 comments:

Fashion Moment said...

Thank you for the comment. Your blog is great!

FM~FP~AF

Dustjacket Attic said...

I like your mum, what a great cartoon. Your brother sounds a blast, heels, dog s@#t and offering to come in for a flogging, hey cool!

Hit 40 said...

Calvin would never say dog shit!!! Who photo shopped that cute little boy? I love Calvin and Hobbes. I wish the writer would never have stopped making the comics.

ladytruth said...

My brother used to be a little riot as well: whenever he did something wrong he would run to the pool, jump in and swim to the middle as he knew my mom couldn't swim to safe her life. My dad, however, could. ;)

the walking man said...

To late, you will never be able to litigate your way out of the coming years.

Tell you one secret though: Do NOT ever fart in your kids bed and then put the duvet over the kids head. That is one bed time story that won't end for hours. It is not something funny for the kid or the one who has to clean it all up after wards.

Oh the best is when they turn 12 and transmogrify into the alien DNA portion of the helix and become unknown creatures from the planet Teenageia for ten years before reverting back to the human potion of the DNA.

You have so much more than just a little dog crap ingested or on the carpet...how heavily do you drink alcohol? Increase intake yearly for the next 18 years.

sas said...

i don't know if girls are much better. 'apparently' i made my little brother eat several bugs in mud pies.
more than once.
happy friday right backatchya :)

jen said...

Brilliant. I think it's great to have kids with a sense of adventure.....save us from well behaved toddlers - they're a little creepy!
Oh, and I love Calvin and Hobbes.

Dori said...

I happen to be raising not just one, but two Calvins! Male and female versions. Whomever the person was who said girls were easier, daintier, cleaner and quieter lied! Life's just a hoot, ain't it?

Eternally Distracted said...

We once had a puppy that my Mum had put in the garden as it had messed in the house ... A few hours later my young brother came into the house with a very wet looking puppy. When asked what happened he said ''doggy peed in the kitchen so I peed on doggy''

The Peach Tart said...

I love the cartoon and your brother sounds like quite the little comedian. Happy Friday to you too.

leggy said...

ha ha ha...i remember making my dad hit his head on the wall cos i hit mine when he was chasing me.

Maggi said...

LOL Holy smokes! Let's see...my brother ate an entire pack of cigarettes, slipped on icy steps and bit his tongue in half and then bit the ER nurse when she was trying to give him a shot.

Good luck!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Love this. Your mother is probably right, though hopefully your son isn't as precocious as your brother.

La Belle Mere UK said...

Aaaaaa Boys... I have my own little tiny terrorists staying with us this weekend. He recently found a slow worm and insisted on keeping it in a tub on the dining room table - eurgh.... I eventually had to put it outside I was so terrified of it escaping. But that's the worst he's done. I guess my day is yet to come!!!

Inna said...

I love Calvin and Hobbes!
Looks like you're in for a fun ride :)

Badass Geek said...

Godspeed, JennyMac.

Godspeed.

Yankee Girl said...

Thank for for the morning laugh. Laughing is always a good way to start the day.

ThatMommy! said...

your little brother sounds like my 5 yo. we have 3 boys (& 3 girls who are not much better. lol)i won't even tell you some of the other stuff they've done ;)

Lisa and Laura said...

My son has 4 uncles. They've been arrested for drag racing, public indecency, public inebriation and two of them are living at home with their parents. They're 28 and 29.

Needless to say, I'm terrified.

otherworldlyone said...

Ah, the joys of parenting.

Thank goodness I had a girl. I'm afraid if I'd had a boy he would be the most vulgar, disgusting little shit that ever lived.

Good luck!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

If it's any consolation, Calvin did say "dog doo" in the original strip.

One week into the school year, and my son has already been to the principal's office.

Yes, the boys, they are fun. *heavy sigh*

confused homemaker said...

at our house it seems to be a contest, the scary part is I'm more concerned that our daughter is winning.

AsianCajuns said...

Cath and I grew up in a woman dominated household, did pre-professional ballet and then went to a woman's college... if I ever have a little boy I will be the ultimate clueless mom.

Happy Friday to you too!

♥Aubrey said...

Oh BOYS!!! Yes...everytime my son is mad at me he says: "Mommy i'm mad at you...you're NOT pretty". Like he thinks that's the worst thing he could say to me :)-

Hollyrocks said...

Whew, boys are sure a lot to handle. At least their shenanigans make for good stories. I once had a huge stuffed rag doll with pretty pink yarn hair. Within a week of getting this awesome new toy, my brother decided he wanted to play with it. And by playing with it, I mean taking it into our back yard and proceeding to lay it on the ground and pee all over it.

And then there was the time that he got a new toy bulldozer. He used to be fascinated with construction. So he dumped out one of my mom's potted plants in the living room and started grinding the dirt into the carpet with his little bulldozer. When my mom walked into the room, my brother proudly proclaimed "Look mommy, I'm making roads!!"

Cocaine Princess said...

Hilarious Friday post!

smile steady said...

Hahaha, that is hilarious! Sounds just like my little brothers. Thanks for stopping by earlier!

ellen abbott said...

My son could dismantle anything in less than 5 minutes. It was always a race to see it you could get it out of his hands before it was in pieces.

And then there's the whole getting brought home by the cops thing...seems to be a rite of passage for boys.

The Bug said...

With brothers like that I'll bet you were regarded as an angel weren't you? My brother wasn't too bad - although he did kill all the plants in my terrarium by spraying an entire bottle of Dana perfume in there - he said he just wanted the plants to smell nice...

Lee said...

Once again, you are hilarious! My son feels like the world is his toilet. No matter where we are, he can find a tree to pee behind! Aren't boys the best!

Kelli said...

Oh please don't let those things happen at our house. That comic made me laugh out loud...I needed that.

Lisa said...

STORY. OF. MY. LIFE! Thanks for the laugh today!

Slamdunk said...

With 3 young children, I can relate and certainly laugh at your cartoon and post.

Thanks for the funny post.

*Noelle* said...

oh, boys sure are little shi*s!!! what a funny story! thanks for entering my give-away, good luck to ya!!

noelle :)

Samsmama said...

Gawd help me.

Please refer to my post in which I talk about my 4 year old asking if we could have sex...

Good times.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Vodka Logic said...

Let me tell you girls can be just as gross.

And with todays technology, get him to learn to text you from the doorway he has shit on his shoes. I have had complete arguments with my girls via text and we are in the same house. Sigh.....

Laura xx

i am the diva said...

my mother takes some kind of sick joy in telling me horror stories about my brothers too... oh, what kind of shinanegans will our little ones get into!? happy friday!!

Karyn - (French Charming) said...

Hilarious! I just adore you!! My brother and G.I. Joe used to burn my Barbies at the stake in the backyard and he used my moms sanitary napkins as beds for his G.I. Joe...what a weirdo!

xoxo
Karyn

Constructive Attitude said...

I'm so happy I found your blog. You never fail to make me laugh :)

McVal said...

My son was 3 and had a little girl playmate over. They had gotten into their swimming suits together to run thru the sprinkler. Apparently she was very educational, because as her mother drove away with her, Ryan yelled, Goodbye Goodbye! I have a penis!

Lola Lakely said...

Ahhh, the things I have to look forward to when I decide to procreate.

They make me laugh now but I doubt I'll have the same reaction later on...

Christina Lee said...

hahaha so great! I am always telling my five year old to stop yelling for me across the house- just come find me!

Not The Rockefellers said...

"Are you coming out here to do it or should I come inside?"

Genuis...in other words, I'll take the spanking and for no extra charge I'll give you options..

What is he like today?

Peace - Rene

The Daily Dose said...

And just think...for a hot minute I was totally convinced that boys were "easier" than little girls. No hair brushing disasters, dolls, bows, tantrums about dresses, etc.
I obviously know nothing. hahahh

Intense Guy said...

LMAO...oh too funny!

:) Thanks I needed a smile today!

only a movie said...

Raising boys is an interesting adventure.
Thanks for stopping by my place.

confused homemaker said...

Alright, posting again but this time it's because I'm handing out awards (like the Emmy's without fame or money), your blog is wicked smart. So Come by to claim it.

Tina said...

Jenny:

Thanks for the comment on my blog...I'm following you now!

Oh my your brother sounds like he was something else! LOL

Have a great weekend...

Emily said...

Yikes! Well, after having a brother like that you should be well prepared to deal with your son! lol I remember my brothers playing in the sewer often...ewww!

blissfully caffeinated said...

It's not just boys. I took my girls to the park some time back and in the 45 minutes we were there my little Avery managed to pick up cat poo, pick up chewed and spit out gum, and drink out of the doggie water fountain. These are the kinds of things she does ALL THE TIME.

Bitter Sweet Moments said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog!! You have a great blog:)

Vivienne said...

First, I must say that particular Calvin and Hobbes classic is on my very own fridge.

Second, I have FOUR boys. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

Hi Pie said...

Oh I am certain that your little brother did get a beat down... but how very fasion foward of him to choose white pumps! That my friend is called and "early sign" LOL - Happy Friday Jenny Mac!

LarryG said...

"get a penis" haha - sounds like an opening for a discussion on 'how you got here lil feller' :)

Or maybe he is going into politics! lol

either way enjoy the ride and
thanks for posting over in my neck of the woods.

Maggie May said...

Had to laugh at his antics!
Thanks for visiting me. You have a fine, successful blog, here.

Erin said...

Wow, you brother was very active, wasn't he? :) I love these stories.

Heavenly Housewife said...

My mom used to tell us she was glad she only had girls. Boys r just weird.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I have 5 older brothers. They have...

*Eaten a lightbulb, core and all.
*Given a sister diet pills.
*Given the other sister birth control pills.
*Stuck their finger in a running mixer (because there was cake batter) while he had chicken pox.
*Fallen out of a tree and broke his collarbone, also while he had chicken pox (different bro than above).

Need I go on? : )

Jules said...

I love that your son told you that! Hysterical!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha! I can't stop laughing. especially over that little boy saying, "are you coming out here or should I come inside?" too too funny!

I have two little boys, and one is an angel and one is a devil. They are a *blast.* Simply wonderful!

The Savage said...

Being the baby brother in the family I sure got away with so much more than my older siblings....

Thanks for stopping by mine, I love your blog!

Mira is triplet crown said...

Uh oh, and I have two at once. I'm in big trouble. Imagine what two brains can do!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Great blog. And no worries about the boy. In the long run they are much less drama than girls.

JenJen said...

hahahah!
Boys are AWESOME!

Melissa B. said...

My SIL has 4 boys, no girls, and this strip pretty much summarizes her life the past 27 years. Yup, her oldest is 27 and her youngest is 14. You've got a lot to look forward to! But then again, you could have a daughter like my youngest...always a challenge!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

That was so funny! I think I just peed my pants...I am a mom to three boys (thanks for visiting my blog BTW-) and today-my three year old was outside in a teeshirt, and NOTHING ELSE. I had to get a few pictures of his cute tush-and am debating how embarrassed he would be if I post them.
Your stories were pretty true of boys-I've had a frog in a gift bag under the bed-that's my worst story yet...

Eve said...

Oh too funny! I am a little excited for the amusement factor when my son gets to this age.

I need to buy a video camera now. OR install CCTV in our home.

for proof when he's older of course. :)

Pop Champagne said...

hahaha your brother is hilarious! And I'm in love with Calvin and Hobbes omg I got their whole collection hahaha I'm such a dork :D Have a great weekend!

Just Add Walter said...

haha... your brother is too funny and so is that cartoon!! good luck with parenthood!

Lady Di said...

Hmmm, let's see...my son

put my keys in the oven unbeknownst to me who then pre-heated the oven to 425...not pretty, lots of smoke and toxic fumes

cut one of lil' sister's pigtails off

wanted to find out if poker chips can go easily down a toilet...they don't

put daddy's cell phone in the frig overnight. We now know that cell phones can withstand very cold temperatures for prolonged periods of time.

he accomplished all this by age 5 and there's more I just don't think there would be enough room to list them all.

the southern hostess said...

So funny! Love your blog! Thanks for stopping by The SoHo!

Robyn said...

I have a girl and I feel it will be like that. I love Calvin and Hobbes though.

Scrappy Girl said...

Oh I couldn't believe the 3 year old escaping while everyone was sleeping to play in a pond...that would have scared me to death! I still gasped when I read the wedding heels...thank you God for the 3 girls! lol

Susie from Bienvenue said...

Oh my gosh ,How funny! I have a son that has tested me to the max and you know what...we both lived! Ha... sometimes I wonder what in the world the Lord was thinking. Thank you for this sweet post. It has just put a big ole' smile on my face!

Kristina P. said...

This will never happen at our house. Because my children are perfect.

OK, I don't actually have children. That's why they are perfect.

And I loved that you used the word "smashing" on my blog. It's so underutilized.

kyooty said...

Boys Rock!!! so much so I married one and had 3 :) you just have to go with it. As for the escaping, Chain locks on all the doors. My 2nd got out at 2yrsold and tried to walk up the street, in the middle of it!

Jinxed Pixie said...

haha.

i still have about 15 years left. that is if i'm lucky. or is it the other way round?

4 Lettre Words said...

Love that! It's certainly never a dull moment with my boys.

Lauren said...

Oh don't tell me those things!!! My little boy is only 3 months old so hopefully I have some time before he dumps frogs on my bed!

Blessed said...

Oh my... my little boy is only 5 weeks old please don't scare me yet :) Actually, I could see his older sister pulling some of these stunts and she's only 2... I think I'm doomed! At least I'll have good stories to share right?

Thanks for dropping by my blog!

sushigirl4996 said...

LOL!
Thanks for dropping by, and writing a comment for me!

Aubrey said...

So cute...and FUNNY! LOL

Coming over from SITS with a Hello and big WELCOME!!

Jen said...

I must say my five year old told me one time right before he was going to get spanked for cussing with a very serious adult tone "Ok look not so hard this time, thank goodness I have on 2 pairs of bunkys (underwear)" I couldn't spank him that time I was laughing so hard from his tone. Boys do keep you on your toes!

Enjoy your weekend!

Simone said...

Oh my goodness, I am laughing so hard!!! And I thought my almost 4 yr old was a bit of monkey!!

Absolutely hilarious :)

Stomper Girl said...

It's the sound effects that get me down with boy children. They are born knowing how to do them so I am constantly being shadowed by 2 boys exploding, firing, transforming, its insane and it never stops!

Although my friend's girl-child made us laugh yesterday when she reneged on her promise to get out of the pool without a fuss. She cried and carried on and when her mother said "but you promised you weren't going to do this" her daughter said "but I didn't know I was going to then"

mimi said...

Hysterical! As a mom of twin boys....I especially liked this ;)

strokeofliving said...

I loved Calvin and Hobbs. Probably my favorite illustrated comic strip. So big kudos from me. I am the youngest of two girls so I have no point of reference regarding brother stories. However yours are hilarious. I think I might have to follow you now. Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment of support.

Mommy, Esq. said...

BAw, ha, ha! So funny. I have 15 mo old baby girl...having a girl makes me think I'm pretty much terrified to ever have a boy! Hubs wants one for posterity's sake. We shall see. C'est la vie!

Deborah Godin said...

Made barnyard noises laughing at this post. How's your drawing skills? You could have a syndicated cartoon too, I'm thinking. Might as well cash in on all the madness!

The Laughing Idiot said...

Hysterical! I am now even more greatful I have two daughters.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Farmgirl Paints said...

That was so funny!! I can totally see my friend's son doing something like that. My daughters would know better;)

the girl with the pink teacup said...

So true that it was almost painful. I had two younger brothers and they did this kind of stuff ALL. THE. TIME. To me. To my poor mother. To my poor father.

But, uh, your son is going to be completely different to them in every way. I'm sure of it...

Alicia said...

your little brother sounds exactly like my oldest son...one day i'll have to tell you all about how he dropped his drawers and proceeded to poop in my inlaws backyard in the middle of easter brunch...for ALL to see...the joys of children!

You Are My Fave said...

I think my worst nightmare is to have only boys. This confirms it.

Tumbleweed said...

Well, being the "older" brother in this particular story I can honestly say Jen did only mention a couple of minor incidents of my formative years. The frogs - well, they were lonely and looking for more companionship...hence Mom and Dad's bed...just letting them get acquainted!

Even with all the antics and "near misses" I think I made it this far pretty OK! Jen didn't mention the frog pond swim - fully dressed, or the 12 trips to the ER for stitches in my HEAD (remember your bedroom light fixture and the beach ball I was kicking around your room???)

Rest assured, good readers, that JennyMac had PLENTY of her own chapters of antics as well - how about the time she pulled up next to my parents in another car...in downtown Seattle...in the middle of the day...SCHOOLDAY...and STILL managed to get herself out of it!! What a gift she has!!

Jen - LOVE the story and your writing in general!! KEEP POSTING - just keeps getting better all the time!!

Love the blog - thanks for having such a keen sense of recollection!

Love you Too!!

TW

Andi said...

No boys in my house growing up, no boys now, but with your brother's exploits, I can't say I am feeling a loss! But I am pretty sure my husband was (and still is) that kind of boy!

Clueless_Mama said...

Very cute, I guess that's what I have to look forward to as well. :)

UPrinting said...

Oh my. Your brother is pretty naughty.
Is the Calvin and Hobbs comic for real? I just didn't expect that comic to sound anything like that. :D
Don't worry, we'll be wishing that this won't happen to you.

le chiquest said...

so funny!

Sara Bonds said...

This is too good!