Friday, July 17, 2009

Having cake, and eating it too.

Let's pop the cork on this thing.

Now, take a deep breath, and help me blow out all these candles.

38....is great. And I will be blowing out 38 candles this Sunday.

Deep in the matriarchal DNA of my family resides the long linear polymer for I LOVE BIRTHDAYS. Of course, I already pontificated on this subject and told you about Sangria Cha Cha Cha which will be served to the rim this weekend at a bit of a bash in my honor. Since I can't pour you a glass from here (oh, I would if I could honey) if you want to partake, here is the recipe .

I want all of you to join me for a cocktail as I reflect on a very full and fun life.

In this retrospect, I thought of sage advice and prolific words of wisdom I might share if I had the chance to write a letter to JennyMac at say, age 8. Like to hear it? Here it go....

Dear 8 year old JennyMac:

Happy early birthday. You turn 9 in just a few days. You LOVE parties and always will so enjoy your day.

You little girl, are brave, trusting, and good. Smart as a whip and certainly not afraid to clarify that for others who do not seem to grasp it. You are also sassy and have quite a mouth on you. A natural proclivity toward sarcasm is typically not developed so young. Use it wisely. And by wisely, I mean, don't use it on your teachers. As more specifically, don't call Mr. M an "arsehole" to his face. He is your Leadership teacher. This is not good leadership. And you are a kid. Not nice. Oh, and you certainly get in trouble at home so side-step that temptation.

Charm is of utmost importance and the sooner you employ it, the better. It is NOT charming to tell your mom, whilst she is spanking you, that you "can't feel a thing." Wise up. This will induce more spanking. Don't be smug.

You love sports and are quite good. You will love soccer, skiing, tennis, and volleyball for life. Give up piano lessons. Early. Your older brother has the musical talent of ten people. There is none left for you.

Oh, you are a tiny thing. Guess what, you will not grow and look like a real girl until 7th grade. Because of this, when you decide in 5th grade to cut off all your long hair for a Dorothy Hamill hair cut, I will be the first to tell you DON'T DO THIS. People will ask your parents about their "son" on more than one occasion. You will not like it. Pay attention to my words and don't cut your hair, or at least find someone who doesn't cut it like you are about to join the Army.

Your Father tells you at a young age you better find a career that pays you to run your mouth the way you do. You pick Lawyer. From the age of five you aspire to be two things: a Solid Gold Dancer or an attorney. Solid Gold goes off the air but watch it and learn all their skills. Law school is the answer. Although in any given opportunity, you will emulate the deft moves of a Solid Gold Dancer
for years
a long time
forever.

And don't tell lies. Like when you borrowed your Mom's bronzer, turned your face orange because you used too much, got it ALL over the impeccable white counters and floor, and then when questioned, you feigned bewilderment and innocence. Well sugar, the writing is all over your tangerine skin. Lucky for you, you learn quickly and just take your licks.

You will get tall, but you will be a size zero until about 13. Don't fret. You will never be a size zero again. And your boobs don't actually feel like participating in the "growth" process so they wait. For about 2 or 3 years. And when they come, its a weak showing. You twist and turn on this. Worry not. Why? Magic words: padded push-up. Plus, Victoria's Secret will solve this problem for you later in life with the first Miracle Bra. Even better ones come. Oh, and the braless, flat girls abound after the 90's.

Skip school a few days in November of 1984. You are only in 7th grade so just hold the thermometer near the light bulb for a few seconds. During November of this year "pants-ing" people becomes all the rage amongst the boys at school. You are not developed yet. You will get pants-ed. You will be called Peach Fuzz. You will react in a way the fuels fire. Not wise. You will need to work on this. Try laughing and telling them you lead the frontier for the Brazilian wax. Instead you will cry. Peach Fuzz sticks with you for about a year. You will laugh about this only DECADES later. Do yourself a favor, and just feign sickness. When you finally do get boobs, these same boys will not be singing Peach Fuzz.

You are going to have a great life. You are so lucky, and so loved. You adore clothes from a wee age when you refused to wear panties and socks that don't match. Nordstrom was the first word you could spell. You will make some wildy poor outfit choices in the 80's but everyone does.

You will wear a velour mid-length snap front bathrobe to school and because it is fabulous and purple, you will tell people it is a coat. Ummmm, one day you and TazBud will get in a fight and she will out you. Save it for the shower, sweetie.

Also, you will put blond hair color on one side of your hair. Right at the roots. Let's not. It will turn your hair orange and you will be stuck growing this out for over one year. This will be in ALL of your cheerleading pics. Your mom will hang these in the living room for ALL to see. If you don't take my advice, enjoy getting hazed. For years.

Oh, and stay out of Mom's jewelry box. Especially without permission. Yes, you like the jewels but you take her black pearls without express consent and then wear them in your class pictures. Ummm. Really? You have them ON in the picture. What more proof does she need? Perhaps you should have got your tiny arse beat because you will also one day take a ring of hers without asking and lose the stone. Turns out her father gave her the ring as a graduation gift. This will break your mom's heart and you will not know that for years to come. And you can NEVER replace something of such sentimental value. Just be respectful and ask first.

But older brother's room is a free for all. He has sh*t hidden everywhere: love notes, Copenhagen, contraband cigs, a one-hitter. You will have such great ammo against him. Start looking now.

You have some of the greatest friends of your life growing up. You will still be friends with many of them to this day.

Oh, your high school boyfriend was actually not the one who informed your Mom about who bought you alcohol in order to gain her good graces. You and all of your friends have big fun calling him Eddie Haskell for about the next decade but he is innocent. She is reading your journals. But, you are so clever that you often write your shenanigans in code. Brilliant move. She doesn't know HALF of what you are up to.

And believe me, you and your gal pals are innocent little lambs compared to teens today.

Oh, but when you get asked by one coach if you were drinking during a high school party thereby violating Athletic Code, DENY DENY DENY. She is a cow and will mishandle it. You and your two close friends will be suspended from the team (only for a bit though). Instead, smile at her as say " I would never." And wine coolers shouldn't really qualify as "drinking."

Oh, and when you pitch a full throttle fit when you are forced to watch 90210 because it's your little brother's birthday and he gets to pick, the least you could do is later admit to him you became obsessed with the show and watched it religiously.

While you think it is AMAZING that your first college boyfriend helps you make a beer bong (with a shut off valve...genius) it is HIGHLY UNWISE to bring this home on your first college break to show all of your friends also home on break. Breath-takingly more foolish is that you actually show your Step-Dad. Ummm, they are paying for education not beer-induced sex fest. DO NOT SHOW YOUR PARENTS A BEER BONG. Especially YOUR beer bong with YOUR nickname on it. And then you tell SD who helped you craft it. When that boy comes to visit, your SD calls him a troll. To his face. Your SD does NOT want to think about a boy funneling beer in your mouth at the speed of light for obvious reasons.

And being in a sorority is a great idea. You will love it. Although, those girls can drink. Wine coolers have not prepared you. Oh, and watch those 3 am calzones. Yes, I know you are hungry. Try eating during the day time. You will spend an entire summer working that off your arse.

And "credit card" is not magical slang for "free money" or "something somehow unattached to actual debt". When you Father tells you to pay attention to your credit, that's not French for "MAD SPENDING SPREE". You are smarter than this. Stop acting like you forgot all mathematical and economic concepts because its your first credit card.

Your first really serious college boyfriend is going to break your tiny heart. And he is cheating on you, sweetpea. Don't change a thing, because you learn more from this particular relationship than you can imagine. Its determinism, and it will change you 100% for the better. Pack your tissues though ladybug, its going to be a tough one.

You follow him across the country because you are so wise and grown up. The positive to this is, it is the best mistake you have ever made for the wrong reasons. PS: When your parents are paying for everything, they do, in fact, get a vote.

You will LOVE the University. Thankfully, you will actually like the "school" piece of it too. And you learn quickly skipping class is not wise. You will learn this the day your Western Civ mid term is rescheduled and you were not in class to hear this. Or the next session when they remind people. Oh, you are one smooth talker and overcome this dilemma but just go to class in the first place.

You will come out of your college experience a different and better person (and you think you are pretty fly at the time, trust me). And you will date stellar men from that point on.

Law school is a wise choice. It will benefit you indefinitely. You will have a hemorrhage over your first law school writing grade. That's what you get for being a smarty pants and not studying. Don't be a jackarse. Everyone here is smart. Oh, but you ace the Wills and Trusts exam that you almost have breakdown over fear of failing. Stop carrying on at your apartment on the phone to Mom. You miss your flight and have one hell of a time waiting at the airport for hours because it is winter and there are all kinds of weather issues. Oh, but you do meet a cute boy so all is not lost. And he likes to buy cocktails but easy does it. Don't get off the plane shatfaced to meet your family.

And going to the Grenada every Thursday night for "80's Night & Dollar Pitchers" when you are supposed to be studying Tort Law is a good idea. You will remember those nights much, much longer than you will remember Palsgraf v. Long Island Rail Road.

And when you graduate, you will have achieved your first life goal. And you will meet some of the best friends you will ever hope to have during this time. Well done.

You will have a great career free of blemish. Don't go to work for Big K though. You will get in an argument with him over open toe shoes at the office. In 2001. He is a clown. And you don't work in a manufacturing plant. His wife actually refers to him as "fat bastard". Just decline that offer. And save yourself a headache of trying to educate someone that you don't need to wear clogs and bonnets.

You will paint the town. You will fraternize. And you make good decisions. It is BIG fun.

But that guy that says you "suck" because you don't like his friend, and you answer "hardly" and laugh in his face, that's just fine. But then he calls your friend a " ____stupid____" because she won't give him her number. You debate throwing your drink in his face for saying that even though that seems, well, a bit of an over-reaction. Well, THROW IT HONEY. He is begging to be b*tch-slapped via vodka tonic. Believe it. And then you and your friend can reminisce about how good it felt to do it.

At your wedding shower, your favorite and beloved Aunt will say "you sure kissed a lot of frogs before finding your prince." But, you will LOVE kissing these frogs. Kiss away.

And you marry someone strong, and smart, and loving. Having a baby will change both of your lives. And when you are raising a son, you will realize the importance of teaching leadership and being a good parent. And you realize how hard it is sometimes and you regret, oh, about 1,000 things you did/said to your parents.

Oh, and then you will remember that one time you went to your BFF's nieces first bday, and all the kids at one point seemed to be screaming. And you said, "For the love of God, I need a drink. How can you bear the racket." And your BFF, MarciaGarcia, says, "Oh, eventually you just drowned it out." And you say, with what for !&%# sake, a hammer? You will finally know what she means.

And the first time your tiny child says "I love you" without you saying it first, you will melt.

And you will achieve another life goal of writing a book, don't be discouraged that after a few agents give you the nod the only real creatures interested are the spiders crawling on the dusty manuscript in the garage, well, we don' t know what's to come of that yet. You just wrote it a year ago. BUT, you want to start blogging three years before you do. Do it sooner. There is an INCREDIBLY witty, fun, sassy, and smart group of people you will meet in BloggyWorld, doing the same thing, and you will become addicted. Soar baby, soar.

Happy Birthday, and yes, you can have your cake and eat it too.

Love, JennyMac at age 38


103 comments:

Alicia said...

that. was. awesome!! i loved it!! and from one cancer to another have a wonderful birthday!! mine's on monday, but i celebrate the entire month...i'm a birthday hogger!

mo.stoneskin said...

The bronzer story is brilliant. Every now and then I see a tangerine-coloured person walking down the street. One day I'd like to stop them and offer a tangerine.

Vodka Logic said...

Happy Birthday Jenny, that was a great letter.
Do a good job raising that son to appreciate woman, all woman. And remember the first time he says "I hate you" (my teens have) he doesn't mean it... but it still hurts.

good luck.

Laura at 50

Intense Guy said...

Happy Birthday!

I feel like I learned a lot about you in one funny reading - which of course I didn't.

I hope the letter you write to the 38 year old JennyMac in 2039 is equally full of great advice and full of flash-forward memories of a full and much enjoyed life.

the walking man said...

38? Good God I am in the company of children. Albeit bright and literate children but none the less...

Just take and make a good day of it with your Sangria Cha Cha Cha and write again next year.

have a wonderful your day.

Metropolitan Mum said...

What a cool post, and what a great idea. And now guess who else is going to celebrate her birthday on Sunday!

Casey M. said...

You are truly the wittiest person I've never met.
Happy, happy birthday!

Yankee Girl said...

You're right. Wine coolers really shouldn't count as drinking.

The letter was fansmashingtastic. Life would have been so much easier if we had an instructional manual, but I guess living through all of it is what makes us who we are today.

I hope you have a great day. And please drink something stonger than wine coolers. Like sangria.

Dustjacket attic said...

Oh bloody hell, I know why I post pic's and you do the writing. Seriously good JennyMac!

The Peach Tart said...

Happy Birthday JennyMac. I didn't realize you were a fellow Cancer.

This was a great post and allowed me to learn a lot about your path to becoming the awesome woman you are.

Keep writing. You have a talent that needs to be shared with the world.

p.s. thanks for the Sangria recipes. I'll be trying some this weekend since officially it's still my birthday week and I'm still celebrating.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Wow. That Peach Fuzz story sounds like something out of a Kevin Smith movie. Sorry.

Oh, and happy early birthday.

Dreamgirl said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA!
I'll have a coctail with you - shoot, I'll have two!

Just visiting you from SITS - hope you have a great weekend. Feel free to come visit me at SweeterLiving, I love visitors!

Greetings from Spain

Being Brazen said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY for Sunday!!

Badass Geek said...

I did the "I can't feel it" thing while being spanked once. Man, if I didn't feel it before, I'd feel it for a couple days later.

Happy Birthday.

Scrappy Girl said...

Happy Birthday...I loved reading that...great post idea. I hope you have a great celebration...I {heart} birthdays too...I don't understand these people who hide from them!

Mo said...

Happy Birthday JennyMac. On your birthday you are the gift! If I live to be one hundred it won't be long enough to thank you for the joy and the laughter. Even the bronzer is a joyful memory.

I love you! Momcatt

Debbie said...

That was a great letter.
And 39 is young! Very young:)

Tumbleweed said...

Wow!! Probably the BEST blog so far! So succinct and you managed to pack a ton of info in there. So, It's a great cover story...but I KNOW who bought you and your girlie-friends liquor...and I know who was sitting on the roof at the hottub party...and who was involved in the frat house shenanigans at UW...and the person who could ALWAYS talk/charm/coerce her way out or ANY situtation!! All these things would be you, my dear!! All this and so,so, so much more!! You truly are one of my best friends and confidants and I could not have asked for a better sister...even JennyMac at age 8 trying to bust me out with the parents (yes, the one-hitter got me suspended from the wrestling team as well!! Thanks for that!)
So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! You are an AMAZING woman and have added so much value to so many peoples lives...to quote your son's favorite artist "...Don't go Changin'..." Don't know what we'd all do without your two pounds of sass and wit!!

Love You TONS!!

TW

Michele said...

Absolutely awesome! Sounds like you've had 38 great years. Congrats and happy birthday!

Love your writing!

MammaDucky said...

Ok, so I've sat here far too long smiling to myself reading and re-reading this post. I think one of my bosses is starting to get suspicious. Happy birthday!

Jen said...

Have a wonderful birthday from someone two years older. I too cut off my hair a tad too short as a child and was asked if I were a little boy. Not fun.
Glad to have become one of your invisible bloggy friends. Keep writing!

confused homemaker said...

happy birthday! what i wouldn't give to know as a kid (or a teen or even 6 months ago) what i know now.

i am the diva said...

oh my god, that was awesome!! i love it!! and i officially have a crush on your blog! <3

thanks for visiting my blog! please come back often!! i know i will.

Sami said...

That letter was the best thing ever. There are a -lot- of things I'd like to tell 9 year old Sami, but I doubt I could fit my thoughts into sentences half as well!

Happy Birthday, let there be cake!

leggy said...

awww...this was great...38?woah!!!!thats a mile stone!!!happy birthday!

Kate said...

My birthday is Saturday so Happy Birthday to both of us!! I love the idea and what a great letter!

Constructive Attitude said...

Happy early birthday! I'm sure you're eight year old self would have REALLY appreciated that letter :)

Hit 40 said...

You have an excellent memory!!! I try to burn the details of every year out in the summer sun.

The bronzer was excellent!!! LOL I did similar stupid things like throw empty beer bottles out my window into the woods like no one would notice!!! DAH!!

jinksy said...

Long winded but worth sticking with it to the end! Happy Birthday 38 :)

JenJen said...

Great Work, as usual! I loved reading about it, especially since I remember doing some similar things in my "youth" (36 this year).

ladytruth said...

Was this post supposed to make me cry like a newborn baby that just got slapped on the butt by a strange man with a mask on his face? Because it did! Uncontrollably while having a good chuckle every now and again. What an amazing post, loved every second reading it!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday! If your life has been this good so far, just imagine the greatness that lies ahead! God bless and keep the posts coming :)

Thank you for the comment on my blog; really appreciate it ;)

Carol M said...

Excellent Blog JennyMac and Happy Birthday- It was fun to read stories of you growing up and knowing your sweet mom. What a fun way to start my Friday.
See you in Seattle
CarolM

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Happy soon-to-be birthday!! I loved this. Especially the hair thing because while my sister was allowed long, flowing locks, my thick crazy mop had to be shorn all the time to prevent tangles so I constantly had pixie hair and people would turn to me in the candy store after serving my sister and brother and go "What would YOU like, son?" and I'd pout and sulk.

8 Year old you sounded awesome! But then almost 38 year old you sounds pretty sweet too. Plus anyone who can tell BNL lyrics from EN VOGUE is just plain fabulous in my world. :)

jen said...

Happy birthday.
I really enjoyed reading that piece....you made a tired mama laugh!
Oh...and I'd buy the book!

Slyde said...

that was outstanding!

you are definitely handling 38 much better than i handled 40 last year....

sheila said...

That is a brilliant post. Just incredible! Enjoyable! Happy Birthday!

Erin said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I love my birthday too, only 59 more days...is that bad? That I count how many days until my bday? HA!

I love, love, LOVE the letter....I'll have to write one to myself when I was about 10! CLASSIC!

stepfabulous said...

OMG - I don't know if I should laugh out loud or cry because of the sweetness. I am touched - seriously and it takes a lot to touch me!

Now I think I'll print this off for my 13 year old daughter to read... better her see your stories than mine!

38 is great and so are you! Happy Birthday!

carma said...

Fantastic! Dorothy Hammill haircut in 5th grade - guilty - only mine was more of a pixie. I tossed half the photos in my album from around that period of time - shallow, I know! Good luck with the book. I bet more than the spiders will get to enjoy it someday :D

carma said...

Oh, and enjoy your birthday!!!

JennyMac said...

You all have made my heart explode. I mean it. Thank you for such incredible words. They are an absolutely fantastic gift.

Samsmama said...

Wow. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am you stopped by my blog! Because I'm so thrilled to be here! That was absolutely brilliant, and so sweet. I'm definitely hooked. And wondering if you went to KU.

Mira is triplet crown said...

Wow, I was mesmerized by your letter. You remember a lot, and it's all interesting. Can NOT believe the pantsing thing. So wrong. High school sucks tho for most of us I think...I'm right behind you in Oct turning 38.

Savvy Mode SG said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have lots of fun and eat lots of cake!!!

Ace said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and have a great birthday!

Jenglamgirl said...

Well lets just hope that, that eight year old little girl... CAN REMEMBER ALL THAT! ha! This was a great post and I could totally relate to many! Loosing your mothers jewelry OUCH! especially when she gave you a special piece trusting you... DARN! I hope I have it in heaven with me one day. Ha!

I really enjoy your writing and if it weren't as funny and clever as it is... I couldn't read all of it. So a lawyer? I was a legal seceretary for over 4 years for PI, Family, and Criminal Defense lawyers. Good times! Now w/ 3 kids I am a full time homemaker! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ;)

scrappysue said...

happy birthday to you!!! thanks for stopping by

J.J. in L.A. said...

That was TOO cute! If only we could go back and undo the stupid things we've done. Of course, those are the things that teach us valuable lessons, so...maybe not.

I'm only 7 years and 1 week older that you...aren't you glad it's not the other way around? ; )

Happy (early) birthday!

♥ Braja said...

A long read but well worth it....happy days, girl :)

ModernMom said...

This was a truly amazing post. I am a first time reader to your blog and now your newest follower! Hope we see much more of each other!

Piper Jacquelyn said...

Fun post - you really did a great job of remembering things! I can hardly remember last week, ha! Happy Birthday Sunday - make it a great one!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

That was all wonderfully written and a great post. What good times you must have had. Lessons learned and all that much more.

Lisa and Laura said...

Happy birthday! Love the blog!

And as writers we want to hear more about that dusty manuscript in the garage. Time to dust it off??? You're clearly a writer.

Enjoy the sangria! Oh, and I did buy a couple of bottles of prosecco for tomorrow night. And yes, I'm sure I'll regret this decision, but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta a do, you know?

momstheword said...

Happy Birthday! Yes, I remember velour, I had a purple velour sweatpants and top that I loved to wear.....very saaaaad!

I used to wonder how people could function with all that kid noise too, but you do get used to it!

Pink of Perfection said...

Oh, would that we could all get such sage advice years ahead. But then again, we probably wouldn't be such wise and funny 38 year olds if we did. Happy birthday!

Chrissy said...

How fun is that post, seriously! I love it!

Happy Birthday!

Lady Di said...

I too am a cancer June 28 as is my son July 1. We have the tough shell, soft on the inside thing going on. Great post. Happy Birthday, hope you do something fun.

Dreamgirl said...

Happy Saturday Sharefest Jenny!
Hope it will be a great one!

Eat cake, drink champagne and have a blast on your special day!

Mom in High Heels said...

I. Think. I. Love. You. (so what am I so afraid of?). Seriously, that was awesome. Happy, happy, happy 38!

Yaya said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

Love the letter.
"Do not show your parents a beer bong!" hahahaha!

proudly says, said...

Myself and Mr. Freddy wish you a Happy Birthday!
Wish you more birthdays to come!

p.s. thanks for dropping by my site and for the lovely comments.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Oh, I LOVED This post! The first I've read of yours and I'm in love. Happy Birthday!

Reviewer11 said...

HAVE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY! May all your wishes come true. :)

from a SITSta. :)

doggybloggy said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU HOTTIE YOU!

Shaye said...

Wow! I couldn't stop reading. So funny with a thread of sadness. Oh how wonderful if we could enlighten our young selves. I just loved this...SOOO loved it.

I'm coming up on 37 and started working on a letter to my young self a few months ago. It's amazing to reminisce and tackle the big things.

Hugs,

~Shaye

Momma G.Love said...

Happy Birthday!

...stopping by from SITS...

Mocha said...

I'm having difficulty finding my favorite part of this post. How about "all of it"? Is that a choice? It is? Super!

You stopped by my place so I had to stop by yours and yet I don't think I'm leaving anytime soon. Especially if there are cocktails about...

Couture Carrie said...

Happy Birthday, darling! Love your blog!

xoxox,
CC

PinkBow said...

happy birthday! a great, thoughtful post as always! my b'day is next week but i'm a leo

Theresa said...

I loved this post!

Happy Birthday!!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

This was one of the best posts I've ever read. Loved every word.

Happy birthday. You are very wise and witty.

WhiteSockGirl said...

Another awesome post!

For about 2 or 3 years. And when they come, its a weak showing. You twist and turn on this. Worry not. Why? Magic words: padded push-up. Plus, Victoria's Secret will solve this problem for you later in life with the first Miracle Bra. Even better ones come. Oh, and the braless, flat girls abound after the 90's.

That is me, right there!

Happy Birthday! Have an absolute fab day!

Happy Saturday Sharefest

Jules said...

Happy, Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenn @ youknow... that blog? said...

Awesome. AwesomeAwesomeAwesome!!!!

Love this post, Jenny! I grinned all the way through it. A humorous, beautiful lawyer? Who knew there was such an animal outside of Boston Legal?!

Happy birthday (tomorrow)!! Mine is Wednesday, although at this point I'm calling them the nth anniversary of my 39th birthday.

Hope you have a fabulous birthday!

supah ~d said...

I heart JennyMac age 8 and 38! That was so lovingly written that it teared my ass UP! Not TORE.. tear as in saline droplets. Just clarifying.

So anyways. I'm so flattered by your comment and I'm walking on air that you even stopped by. If I had my maternity underwear on I'd bend over and say hello properly. But alas.. this little box will have to serve as my intro.

Hi JennyMac,
Nice to meet you. I'll be 34?..yes 34.. in a few days. Write a letter to MY 8 year old self please.. I don't think she'd understand my tastefully aquired ghetto speak nor sailor mouth. :)

I'm following you like the yellow brick road... :)
d

Unknown Mami said...

Happy Birthday! Feliz CumpeaƱos! Wise advice to yourself. I can not believe you survived the "peach fuzz" incident.

I'm 38 too. 1971!!!

Christina Lee said...

what a FABULOUS post!! Happy birthday (from the spiders crawling on my dusty manuscript, to yours)!

Whimsical Creations said...

What a fabulous post!!! Loved all of it!

Happy Birthday!!

You Are My Fave said...

Have an amazing birthday! Enjoy an episode of 90210 and drink from a beer bong.

Melissa B. said...

Happy Birthday, one day in advance! And you should celebrate by coming by my Silly Sunday Sweepstakes tomorrow...we have a blast every week!

Becky said...

Wow.

That was brilliant.

That must of taken you forever to write, but so well worth it. I wish my past and embarassing mistakes could be written so they looked that wiseful and funny now. I don't think I could pull it off!

So Happy happy birthday! And thank you so much for stopping by my blog on my special day yesterday!

Dee said...

Happy Saturday Sharefest.

Well my shorts in the office sure beats your open toe. Wish I had declined that offer.

Hppy Birthday JennyMac. Glad to have met you.

Maggi said...

Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaque Macpherson said...

Happy Birthday!!

Muthering Heights and Other Senseless Sensibility said...

Happy birthday!! :)

Pop and Ice said...

Wow! Just wow! You are an amazing writer and have had an amazing life. Happy belated birthday and many more to come.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Happy birthday from one Leo to another. My birthday is coming up, Friday. Hope you have a wild and wonderful birthday. I love your letter. So much to look back on in spite of having been there and done that.

Duchess of Tea said...

Thank you so much for visiting my cottage and for the lovely comment you left. I read this post and enjoy it very much. I will be back to read more.
Happy Birthday to you
Duchess xx

The Redhead Riter said...

Stopping by to give a little blog ♥ and thank you for visiting me!

Happy Birthday.

I'm sure your legs were shaved...LOL

Robin said...

What a fabulous birthday post. I'm so glad you came by my blog so that I had a chance to come here and see it.

Happy 38, from a recent 40. It really does just keep getting better.

Lemon Shortbread said...

congratulations on your 38th! what a lovely post. the 80s had bad outfits indeed but it was fun! and we all did take out mom's jewelry for playing it's playing without getting caught that was the tough part lol

Madame DeFarge said...

Coming in rather late here, so sorry. I loved this post and read it with a glint of tears on my eyes. It's obviously touched so many readers with the types of memories we all carry and sometimes rarely open up again. Lovely.

Laoch of Chicago said...

This is nice. Well written and thoughtful, although I must say when I reflect back upon law school I can never separate the bitter from the sweet.

I hope you had an epic birthday.

Michelle said...

what a beautiful idea to write a letter to yourself and remember everything that made you who you are 30 years later. wonderful read. thanks.

Mandy said...

Oh Jenny Mac, Happy Wonderful Birthday to you! I think you are the long-lost older sister I always wanted. I had two glasses of red wine in your honor last night. They were smooth, refreshing and rich - three things I hope your life will be this coming year. I LOVED your letter to yourself. And I'm so impressed that you remember all that. I don't remember myself at age 8 except that I wrote some essay for my third grade teacher saying that I wanted to be a sattelite when I grow up. How's that for aspirations? :-) I wish I had started blogging sooner too. I'm sucked into this wonderful virtual world of witty, introspective writers and it's distracting me from my "real" life and "real" job. Thanks for sharing so much about yourself and your life. I can relate about the wrong guys and college changing who I am too. Cheers to you and have an awesome day!

Rose said...

How did you remember all that.. tooo funny! I too, had the Dorothy hammill haircut and everyone asked my parents if I was aboy. Wasn't great for the self esteem. They finally pierced my ears. Your post brought back some scary memories for me. Ha! loved it!

sandy said...

Welcome to SITS! It's great to have you in the SITStahood!

Gaia said...

I'm late...sorry!
Happy birthday to you!
g

My name is PJ. said...

I'm a mom of grown children. This made me cry. You have great talent!

Chessa! said...

happy belated birthday:) I absolutely love your blog and I'm so glad that you found me bc it brought me here...
:)

otherworldlyone said...

That was quite possibly the most awesome thing I've ever read.

Happy belated birthday.

Biscuit said...

I LOVE this idea, may I borrow it for my birthday?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I missed this one because you posted it on my birthday. It's our Youngest Daughter's birthday too (she was born on my 36th b-day) and she kept me quite busy that day. I would have slept all day but she wanted a party, lunch out, shopping, dinner....I was tired that night.

Happy belated birthday to you. I love this post. I've been putting something similar together in my head but haven't had the time to put it on paper or in a post.

I hope the year ahead brings you all the happiness you can handle, all the love your heart can hold, and all the riches to make all your dreams come true.

Big hugs!!