Now, that's a tee shot

What a treat to discover that shenanigans abound from the East Coast to the West Coast. This little tidbit came from the Seattle news. The Director of County Planning and Development Services in one Washington County was fired recently after an independent investigation found that he had exposed himself to some women during a golf tournament in June. According to the police report, Mr. L drank two full glasses of Jack Daniel's after he arrived at the Golf Club at Redmond Ridge and continued to drink heavily throughout the day.

Nothing says PROFESSIONAL better than inhaling Jack Daniels all day at a golf tournament sponsored by a Corporation you are trying to get in bed with and attended by all of your colleagues.

Witnesses said two nearby golfers were discussing tee length and Mr. L sauntered over and said "I'll show you the size of my tee" before he whipped out his Johnson.

The following day, when questioned, Mr. L said he had no memory of the incident. Wise answer. Bless your heart and your whippersnapper, Mr. L.

At least he didn't talk about his shaft.

Or his ball washer.

County Council members were informed Mr. L had been terminated but weren't told the reason. Well, thankfully we have a NEWSPAPER that doesn't keep secrets well. Good job whomever made the decision NOT to tell the City Council members and instead let them read about it over morning coffee.

And what kind of "independent investigation" is needed? Aren't several EYEWITNESSES sufficient?

Men's FootJoys = $200.00

New TaylorMade Driver = $300.00

Whipping out your ding a ling at a tournament with your business associates?
Priceless $149,000.00 or the equivalent to your annual salary.

Don't you be my neighbor

We have some fine civilians down here. You can't have them. They are all ours.

First up, a tidbit of local news from this week: A 40 year old babysitter in a community 45 minutes from downtown Atlanta is being sought for allegedly giving wine to an infant that ended up hospitalized with a blood-alcohol content of .33.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

No. I am not. Every one reading feel free to writhe with fury.

This was not the regular babysitter but the parents had another medical emergency so they used this recommendation. The Grandmother came to pick up the children and discovered the infant in a lifeless state. The infant was immediately taken to the emergency room. Police said the baby recovered and was released from the hospital Wednesday. Thankfully. Permanent damage is unknown at this time.

Considering most adults can't function at .33 BAC, I can not fathom what in the _____ this woman was thinking to subject a baby to such atrocious risk. No, she didn't think it was grape juice.

And now, she is on the run. And I certainly hope they find her soon. We shouldn't judge others? Wrong. We shouldn't judge normal others. D-bags are not protected. You give my child wine because you are in reality the worst babysitter on earth who doesnt actually like to babysit, you will have more to fear than being behind bars. In fact, you will beg for the jail. Double that in the event either of our son's Grandmothers EVER found that someone had mishandled our child. In that case, you will race to the electric chair willingly.

And because tragedy loves comedy, let's end on a more humorous if no less ill note.

A 53 year old man from Jonesboro, Georgia was arrested a few days ago for performing a sexual act on his dog. His picture was published on AJC.com so no need to dirty up my blog with it.

Ummm, Sir?

Doggy style is merely a euphemism. Too big a word for you? Ok, well, its a position. Not a literal translation.

Enjoy jail. You will now know what doggy-prison-style is like.

Enjoy the felony bestiality charge on your record. That will look awesome during job application time.

Did you know you can pay people to do that? Since you clearly didn't set a high bar, it won't cost much. I will mail you the quarter.

Did you also know people will pay you to have you do that to them? Uh huh. Since you didn't set a high bar, you could probably make your quarter back.

Oh, and how in the world the police found out about you, I am not sure. Perhaps you were trolling the Internet for willing pals. Heads up, dogs don't read the #^@%!)! Internet. Also, don't share this story down at the local saloon. No amount of drunk makes this a fascinating tale. You must have done something even more bizarre to tip people off. You are a moron. I hope that dog goes into Witness Protection.

Georgia has 'em...not you. Don't be jealous.