Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The tiny brown beaver

A funny scenario at the park last Sunday prompted the memory of a comical family story from my childhood. I will post the park story soon but first let me share the memory it dished up.

When we were kids, our nightly family dinner was a great gathering fest. My older brother, Tumbleweed, and I frequently had our two BFFs over. The four of us would typically join my Mom and Stepdad (SD) for dinner.

One night Tumbleweed determined nothing could possibly pair better with the family dinner than an inappropriate joke. He was a freshman in high school so inappropriate jokes were likely all he knew. For nostalgia purposes, and for good story-telling, let me share the joke now.

What is the bellybutton for?
A place to put your gum on the way down.

My mom, sweet as a daisy I presumed, didn't quite get the joke. She asked for clarification. Down where? While the quartet of youngsters howled like monkeys, after some delay my SD provided a euphemism. His choice was "beaver". My mom, tilted her head and said, "I used to have a beaver once."



Now, I was only a kid at the time but I promise you I knew a historical moment when it presented itself. So I buckled in, and was certain it would be a story I would be telling for decades to come.

Our mom, went on to explain that her beautiful beaver was a pet. And how it was tiny and brown. And her brother unfortunately set it loose in the woods. Can you image telling a group of silly juveniles about your tiny brown beaver that got set loose in the woods? Immaturity knows no boundaries.

As we choked on laughter and meatloaf, my mom was surprised and dismayed by our reaction to her missing pet. Oh boy.

As we continued to carry on, she finally demanded to know what was so funny. So SD told her that he didn't really mean beaver as in the primarily nocturnal, semi-aquatic member of the rodent family. He explained the joke, and why we were cackling like jackals.

And once she realized, out of the kitchen she went as fast as her legs could carry her.

Ahhhh...Momcatt. Thanks for such a great memory.

And my mom is not Mrs. Ingalls. In fact, she is cool as hell so the fact she didn't get the joke, or know a very 80's slang term for the nether region, well, it was surprising.

So watch your words today, and if you find a loose beaver, you can airmail it back to my parents house. I am sure my Mom misses it.

104 comments:

The Peach Tart said...

It seems like witty runs in your entire family.

Chic Mama said...

My children are wondering why I'm laughing away to myself.
Very funny

ladytruth said...

Classic memory! I think that joke might crack up some of my friends ;) I remember telling a belly button joke in a French accent to a boy whom I was completely bonkers about once. He still remembers it 8 years later; my French must've been pretty good to the untrained ear ;)

Nora Johnson said...

How hilarious - I'm lost for words! Oh to have been a fly on that dining room wall!!

xxLOL LOLA:)

Metropolitan Mum said...

Hehe. Will do that. xx MM

Matthew said...

At least your mother finally got the joke. I know someone who still tells people that her daughter's 'gone to get the beaver done' when they call - with a straight face and no clue as to what she's telling them.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I love it! Reminds me of the time a brother told this joke...

How do you make love to a fat woman?

Roll her in flour.

We all busted up but, of course, my mom didn't get it. The brothers weren't going to say anything, so my 20-something sister had to explain it in detail because mom wasn't getting it. That just make us laugh harder!

Sunshinemeg said...

LMAO! "On the way down where?" Poor little momma. Haha.

My name is PJ. said...

THAT's a GREAT story to stick in the family genealogy! You should be the head writer for your family's lore. As for that type of juvenile giggling (raucous laughter) and joke telling - when my siblings come to visit, that's us today...and if it flies over someone else's head? All the better! See? I told you - juvenile. :)

Bev said...

Ha! Love it. Beavers jokes are great! My kids are screwed, though, because I get all of those jokes. Heh.

WhiteSockGirl said...

LMAO! That was a funny story! Little brown beaver running wild in the bush!

My word verification code for this comment: cyterues

I am not kidding!

Little Ms Blogger said...

What did your Step Dad do? Please tell me he laughed? Because explaining it to mom was far funnier than the joke.

MG said...

Oh my goodness! I'm laughing, but I hope that boy got in some sort of trouble!

Yaya said...

That is hilarious!!!!

Angela said...

That was seriously the funniest thing I've heard in a while! I can't wait to share that one!!! My hubbs is going to crack up! :)

Just found your blog via SITS and I have to say I'm lovin' it so far! I can't wait to read some more!

Happy blogging!
Angela from Angela's Soliloquy
http://angelaspointstoponder.blogspot.com

PS-I'm giving away a $25.00 Visa Gift Card over at my blog, so if you have a sec come on by and join in on the fun! Well, it's maybe not as fun as your post, but still who can't use an extra 25 bucks? :)

Jen said...

Your poor mother. Nothing's worse than being on the wrong end of a dirty joke. Oh well, it sounds like she survived. Makes for a great post.

otherworldlyone said...

1) That's the same beaver picture I used on my blog not too long ago. ;)

2) I'm using that joke.

3) I still laugh like a juvenile at everything even remotely sexual. (Ok, and also at things that normal people wouldn't think of in a sexual nature.)...that includes beaver.

Jules said...

That is HYSTERICAL! And I can totally picture that entire scene taking place!!!

Angie S said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I wouldn't have gotten to read this HYSTERICAL story had you not popped in for a visit. I am loving your blog. Happy Humpday!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

ah, your poor mom! that is simply hilarious.

Sabrina said...

I love that joke!
I tend to turn everything sexual... But i just can't help myself because there are so many things that can be pseudo naughty!!!!

Eyes Wide Open said...

The profound level of laughter that this anecdote caused damn near cost me my job. Thank thank THANK you for sharing.!!!!

vanilla said...

Truly great story. I have given you a little recognition for the encouragement your humorous posts provide. What a lift early in the morning!

Jenny @ Words on Wendhurst said...

Your family must have been a fun one to grow up in. Your story reminds me of the party game "psychiatrist" where everyone is in on the joke except the person playing the psychiatrist. :-)

Emily said...

Ok, I laughed so loud that my daughter just told me to be quiet so she could continue watching Clifford! ;)

Cee said...

That is an awesome story. Totally something my mom would do...except she never had a pet beaver.


Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the book suggestions!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

At least her beaver went and lived in the woods and not, you know, in a cave or something. That might have caused even more jocular duress at the dinner table.

Cee said...

oh no...I didn't see the approval message pop up so I thought I did something wrong.

Now I feel like an idiot!

sheila said...

OMG! Sounds like some conversations our family used to have, lol. No wonder why I drank.

Shop Girl* said...

For a second I thought this post was going to be about Canadians.

This reminds me of the time my mom first learned about "Camel toe"... hahaha

Inna said...

I love jokes that only get better when you have to explain them! My mom wouldn't have gotten it either. :)

ellen abbott said...

That is too funny. Would never have happened at my house. Howling laughter wasn't allowed.

On a totally unrelated note...my reading list disappeared on my dashboard yesterday and I see that your follower list is also empty. What the hell is going on?

Queenie Jeannie said...

Cannot breathe...........LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

La La La Leah said...

Ah what a way to start the morning! That was great! Thank you! Now I have to go and do all my Mommy stuff for the day... I am excited to see what the park story will bring! Ah the park... =/

Yankee Girl said...

That's a great joke and awesome story.

My mom didn't get a camel toe reference once and went into a story about a trip to the zoo when she got to ride a camel. After everyone was looking at her funny for about 5 minutes, we told her what we were talking about. Then she said, "so if that's what camel toe is, then what's moose knuckle?"

JenJen said...

JennyMac this was too cute; your poor mom! But what struck me most is the family dinners that you enjoyed as a child. Sounds wonderful!!

Badass Geek said...

If my mother ever used that term, it'd probably send me into therapy.

Char said...

I sooooooooooooooooo cracked up - this totally sounds like something my mom wouldn't understand either, but then again, she wouldn't have a pet beaver being the city girl she was. Nor a pet rooster.

B.o.B. said...

Your poor mom! Actually in my family I would play the role of your mom and my mom would play the role of snickering teenagers. She's way cooler than I am.

Great story.

Cassie said...

That is too funny! Great story, and what a terrific memory!

Mandy said...

Thank you for that wonderful gift JennyMac! I know you wrote that story to honor your charming family and amuse us loyal readers BUT I'm taking it as my personal present.

Ya see, 31 years ago on this very day, I was birthed from my mom's own tiny, brown beaver. She almost had me in the car on the way to the hospital. And this is sooooo something that my mom wouldn't get either. She's probably say something like, "well, why didn't they have a dam for for that beaver in the backyard to keep it in check? Beavers are wild animals, ya know." :-)

So thank you for the birthday laugh and for a very appropriate story of how my day probably started years ago!

Tarable said...

My parents used to live in a very remote cabin in the Northern part of British Columbia and they used to eat what they trapped/hunted.

Occassionally they trapped beaver.

You can imagine the fun we had with "My mom used to eat beaver... No really, she did!"

One Sassy Girl said...

Wow, priceless story! Moms are sooo good at providing fodder for inappropriate humor. Your mom sounds like a real gem.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

That's great.

Maybe Mom was just playing dumb to tease you guys...

Stephanie Faris said...

Gotta love moms and their innocence!

foxy said...

Oh, that is FUNNY! I can see my mom having that same "what?" reaction.

Vodka Logic said...

I remember when I learned what beaver meant... I was embarassed as well.

xx

Momma Such said...

Ha ha! I got a good laugh out of that! I hope I'm never the mom that doesn't understand the joke being told!

Kristina P. said...

There's a small town in Utah, called Beaver. Really.

Mrsbear said...

Hahahaha. That story would appeal to juveniles and adults alike. Or maybe just adults with juvenile senses of humor. Tee hee. Your mom wants her beaver back. I love it.

Dina's Days said...

Beaver!!!

Chief said...

Ah...the infamous Beaver Jokes! Gotta love them. My husband and I like to use them and then see our kids confused faces as they try to figure out what the hell we are talking about.

Thanks for stopping by "the blog". It made me giddy, coz I think you are pretty cool, maybe too cool for me.

Lisa Anne said...

that is so funny. Where did your mom grow up that she actually had a beaver as a pet. LOL

Southern Champagne Wishes said...

Funny story! I left an award for you on my blog today!

Tiaras said...

hilarious

HalfAsstic.com said...

How funny! Did you kids give her stuffed beavers on all gift giving occasions for years to come? Cause that's just how sadistic we are...

Erin said...

I have tears running down my cheeks I have been laughing so hard. What a story!

Slamdunk said...

Yea Mom--to be a fly on the wall there...

Grand Pooba said...

No way! That is hillarious! My mother in law is constantly making a spectical of herself. One time she had a car full of teenagers and was going through the drive through. She was trying to order a diet coke but accidentally said diet cock.

The boys couldn't stop laughing!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

I agree with Erin I laughed so hard I had tears. So not a good thing to try to explain at work :)

The Vegetable Assassin said...

AW your poor mom! I'm sorry her beaver got lost in the woods - hey maybe it's happily hanging out with my pussy who also ran away. It's a sad thing - a girl without a pussy.

HAHA word veri: PORNO

Kristen said...

haha that made me laugh. I can picture my mom not getting the joke but pretending she does.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

She had a pet beaver?! That's AWESOME! And I am totally telling that joke this week - it ought to go over like a handjob in church at the playground.

Lisa and Laura said...

OMG, that is classic. What a cute little beaver!

Cheeky Monkey said...

ROTFLMAO I snorted tea on that one!!! Great Post!

Amandasaurus said...

Thanks for the visit! If I come across any beavers I'll let your mom know. And I mean that in the literal, not awkward/gross/creepy sense.

EmFabulousFunshine said...

thx for the comment and gym kudos!! I swear your blog cracks me up...beaver...Momcatt...have a good day

Nitmos said...

Cool story. Funny blog. My mom once told a story about a snake that had us boys howling with laughter over the obvious euphemism when she stopped, looked at us, and said "You guys do know I mean a "trouser snake" right?"

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Freakin' awesome! That's all i can say!

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Oh I forgot how funny you were... guess it's been a little while since I read your blog, and now I've been sitting here reading tons of your posts, and I've got stuff I need to do!! But you're distracting in such a delightfully sarcastic way, I just can't help myself!

Judearoo said...

Working in NZ I shared a house with an english girl who ran a local bar. She arrived home one evening in hysterics as the alcohol wholesaler was called 'Beaver Liquor'. I kid you not!!!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Great story. LOL.

Lisa said...

Seriously...I am a new reader and don't think I have EVER laughed so much while reading a blog. It cures any/all of my troubles. THANK YOU! :)

Whimsical Creations said...

LMAO! That is too funny!

Dumbwit Tellher ♥ said...

This is just too precious..So happy I read your post today. I had the perfect picture in my mind..ha!

Thank you too for commenting on my blog. So happy to have found yours!
All the best, Deb

La Belle Mere UK said...

Waaaah!!! So funny.

My mum once regaled us with a story of how she'd spent the whole afternoon pruning her bush and that she'd never seen it looking so trim.
And that the milkman said he'd never SEEEEEN Begonias like hers before.

She couldn't understand why my dad, my sister and I were doubled over for at least half an hour afterwards.

LBM XX

The Mother said...

My kids frequently leave me missing the joke, but it's usually over gaming lingo. Thank the gods. I don't think I'd appreciate it if my kids were better at sex jokes than I.

At least, not quite yet.

Simply Mel said...

Why is it that even as adults we still laugh hysterically at the mention of a 'beaver'?

Great story, and I'll send overnight FedEx if I find it!

Jenglamgirl said...

As you head up North (SLC) through Utah .... you pass through a plethora of many citys. One of which is very famous in jokes and laughter in my fam. GUESS THE NAME?????........ "Beaver!" need I say more?

thanks for the comment, your blog alway gives me a chuckle!

Elizabeth Marie said...

I just choked I was laughing so hard.

thank you thank you thank you

A Cuban In London said...

And the fact that you can tell it so well and I am still laughing my head off means that you are a heck of a good joker. Many thanks.

Greetings from London.

Kelley at My Island Wedding said...

That is just hysterical!

My husband likes to walk around the house singing about "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver", by Anthrax (I think...)

We're all just big freshman at heart. Hope your mom was ok!

Employee No. 3699 said...

Awesome story. I hope her beaver didn't only get let loose in the woods, but got some. Wood that is.

Mary K Brennan said...

My Goodness. I'm sitting reading your blog and laughing so hard. My husband is confused as to what is so funny.
Thanks for stopping by, and the laughs.

Karlota said...

thanks for visiting my blog.. I haven't seen a real beaver animal but it's the first time i've heard the nether region being referred to as beaver. We usually refer it as snake among my friends and family.. weee

Hit 40 said...

OMG!! 85 comments! Your insane. Pass the cocaine for me. You are on some serious blogging drugs.

I can not imagine having the beaver conversation with my mom. She told us never to do or to have oral sex....

thought it was dirty and you should shower right after sex. Total prude. Got mad if we said the word pussy to our cat? I never got that one for the longest time. I mean.... on looney tunes silvestor was called pussy cat.

I could just cut and paste this for my post tomorrow??

Sprite's Keeper said...

My mother would have the exact same reaction.
ALL THE TIME.
It's amazing how much innuendo we were able to sneak past her.

Little Ms J said...

Hilarious. See, my mother would never get it, but my mother-in-law would start talking about her beaver to embarrass us. What a sport.

The Constant Complainer said...

This was a funny post. Your readers are amazing with the comments too. I've been enjoying following your blog.

Unknown Mami said...

Thanks for the laugh. It actually sparked some memories that will turn into a post.

BeautifulWreck said...

omg... i am LAMO

Anti-Supermom said...

You couldn't have picked a better beaver pic. for this post.

Hilarious.

Lily G. said...

haha, what a great and hilarious post!

Midtown Girl said...

This was so funny!And your mom sounds like a doll ;-)

XOXO

Pen Pen said...

HOLY CRAP! I would have been banging my head on the floor and DYING with laughter!!! THat's SO great!! My mom didn't know what "reefer" was once-She's a plant biologist-so it was BEYOND hilarious when she said she'd check out the store to find some seeds and maybe put them in a pot on the porch! POT!!! AHAHA!!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahaha very funny

Ju said...

Great joke, even I got it ( English being my second language).
Thanks for commenting on my blog.
Julia :D

Mom in High Heels said...

I am so hearting your mom. I can totally see my mom saying something like that when I was a teen, except she would have killed me if I'd said that. Killed. Dead. And I wouldn't be here to amuse and charm so many. :)



Verification Code: poddi

i am the diva said...

oh my god, i can only imagine the scenario... hilarious.

Julie@Momspective said...

I'm telling my DH that one ROFL

Becca said...

Oh. my. goodness. That is hilarious!

Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier!!

Dutch donut girl said...

Your poor mom. I would have laughed like a hysterical Hyena, touhg. Too funny!

Berlin Deluxxe said...

How nice of her to share her beaver with a younger crowd :)

Buckeroomama said...

I want to give your mom a hug, but she'll probably sense that I'm trying very hard to hold my laughter in! :)