Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Now, that's a tee shot

What a treat to discover that shenanigans abound from the East Coast to the West Coast. This little tidbit came from the Seattle news. The Director of County Planning and Development Services in one Washington County was fired recently after an independent investigation found that he had exposed himself to some women during a golf tournament in June. According to the police report, Mr. L drank two full glasses of Jack Daniel's after he arrived at the Golf Club at Redmond Ridge and continued to drink heavily throughout the day.

Nothing says PROFESSIONAL better than inhaling Jack Daniels all day at a golf tournament sponsored by a Corporation you are trying to get in bed with and attended by all of your colleagues.

Witnesses said two nearby golfers were discussing tee length and Mr. L sauntered over and said "I'll show you the size of my tee" before he whipped out his Johnson.

The following day, when questioned, Mr. L said he had no memory of the incident. Wise answer. Bless your heart and your whippersnapper, Mr. L.

At least he didn't talk about his shaft.
Or his ball washer.

County Council members were informed Mr. L had been terminated but weren't told the reason. Well, thankfully we have a NEWSPAPER that doesn't keep secrets well. Good job whomever made the decision NOT to tell the City Council members and instead let them read about it over morning coffee.

And what kind of "independent investigation" is needed? Aren't several EYEWITNESSES sufficient?

Men's FootJoys = $200.00

New TaylorMade Driver = $300.00

Whipping out your ding a ling at a tournament with your business associates?
Priceless $149,000.00 or the equivalent to your annual salary.

87 comments:

Rowe said...

Oops, bye bye Mr County Planning Director. Another one bites the dust.

Sharon McPherson: AUTHOR / ARTIST said...

Hi

I am enjoying your blog and have presented you with an award: You may not yet have this one. lol x

Vodka Logic said...

Which is why I don't drink JD anymore..not that I have a johnson or would whip it out if I did...

Nappy Catcher said...

Stories from the news, email circulars... there's no end to your talent! Great work!!!

Hit 40 said...

Men are very proud of their shaft!!! A few think it is a magical toy that no one else owns.

Tammy Howard said...

Yeah..... How many fifths of Jack does $149,000.00 buy? Yikes.

My initial response was something along the lines of "What is it with men and their wieners - you never see women behaving that way." But then I remembered that my sister and her friends are real quick with a boob flash after a couple few... (No one ever seems to complain about that. A double standard that actually works in women's favor? Couldn't be...)

Kimi said...

Oh man... men are not always (or you know, ever) the smartest group are they. Too funny

The Peach Tart said...

I'll never understand why men are so obsessed with their johnson that they think every woman wants to see it

Couture Cookie said...

What a moron. What happened to manners? Oh, wait...

kys said...

Poor idiot.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Amazing.

♥Aubrey said...

What an arse!!! Did someone yell "FORE" prior i hope :)-

Joshua said...

I have so many bad jokes running through my head that it hurts not to let them all hang out. Pun intended. What a ding-a-ling. Again, pun intended.

Joshua

Busy Bee Suz said...

Wow...this guy is Klassy. With a K.

Kristi Faith said...

That's too funny!!

Badass Geek said...

The only thing Jack Daniels makes me want to whip out is a pillow, so I can fall asleep at the bar.

Matthew said...

Yet another reason why I vow to never play golf.

Lisa Anne said...

I love me some Jack!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Now, that is a classic story. But, was his tee longer??

Cristin said...

Tee-freakin-Hee!!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

What a dummy! What is it about men that makes them so stupid and so willing to whip it out, drunk or not?

Eva Gallant said...

Sounds like a handicap situation!

Jules said...

Geesh, (I went to write public and wrote pubic....), enough from me.

Yankee Girl said...

Jack Daniels is such a trouble maker!

He is almost as troublesome for me as Jose Cuervo.

Almost. Though he has never made me flash my boobs. Jose has. And to this day I will blame Jose and not take any responsibility for myself!

Emily said...

Hilarious. Well, that's what you deserve when you are so freakin' obsessed with your, um, manhood.

brainella said...

Jack Daniels was never the problem when a perv pulled out his johnson at the public library. It happened a LOT more than I care to talk about too! We never had problems with women flashing anyone though...wonder why. :)

ShellSpann said...

LOL!

mommywonderland said...

Wowza! Some people!

Michael Rivers said...

Whenever I expose myself on the golf course, I do it behind the bushes like any true gentleman! This guy is just classless!

Ela said...

I will never understand why people do this - boggles my mind. I know alcohol's to blame...but seriously, is it really? I mean if you'd do it when you're drunk...it's obviously something you've thought about when you're sober.

Nonflammable said...

I've always (secretly) wished that someone would whip out their trouser snake so I could point and laugh hysterically. Unless of course it was so impressive it did leave me speechless.

I guess it's no secret now!

Intense Guy said...

Ehhhh, all youse wimmin has johnson-envy...

What does a Director of County Planning and Development Services actually do anyway? Anything usefull? Maybe they won't bother to replace this idiot...

McVal said...

hmm.. Some people just shouldn't get drunk...
shaking my head chuckling...

Raoulysgirl said...

Now, that IS priceless! I hope it was a warm day, at least. Otherwise, he would face some REAL embarassment!

Lady Di said...

What makes guys think anyone wants to see THAT???

Sassy Chica said...

LMAO!!!
Ya, Jack Daniels is no friend of mine and this confirms it!

Great post!

Smooches,
Sassy Chica

Ms Bibi said...

That just shows you...Don't drink and "drive"

Geez Louise♥ said...

Bahaha, this is great. Dang, he has to be one smart cookie to risk loosing those G's.

Chrystal

PS Sorry Ive been MIA lately....Ive missed you post and comments!!!! Promise I'll get back on my game soon!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Oye Veh! I have to say I thought you might be writing this story about my old boss...every year when the annual golf tournament rolled around he would "TELL" us to dress skimpy...YEP, you heard me right....can I just say how DUMB I was for not filing a complaint!! I could be cashing that $149,000!!!!

Grand Pooba said...

Hahaha! Good to know, I'm staying away from the Jack Daniels at my company's next golf tournament!

GUGAW said...

haha oh dear! very happy to say that consuming jack daniels doesn't encourage me to get my bits out!

Ley said...

No wonder I don't golf.

Kristina P. said...

Some guys just really like balls.

The Blonde Duck said...

Totally ridiculous.

Vivienne said...

What a tool.
I bet if he'd have been drinking tequila he would've been able to get away with it. Tequila-drinking assholes are more charming than JD drinking assholes, IMHO.

Corrie Howe said...

Oh, no he didn't!

Jen said...

IDIOT! But a funny idiot.

Pricilla said...

Just what is it about men and the size of their ding a lings?

B.o.B. said...

Golf, booze, and pigs don't mix.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Wow! That's all I gotta say. ;)

Dan. said...

You know what? I have never got that drunk that I have had the urge to get my wing wang out in public?

Does that make me less of a man?

Alicia said...

bwahahaaa!! YIKES!!!! bet his wife wasn't happy about that!

JenJen said...

Men and their d*cks...I swear you just have to feel bad for them once in a while.
They don't know any better.
'Specially when they hang with their friend Jack.

Slamdunk said...

I wonder if his new nickname among friends is Big Bertha or Putter?

Joshua said...

Or is it Golf Pencil?

conquer The Monkey said...

what a jackass, I'm so glad I wasn't there to be forced to see that lame dude's weehaw!

The Grounded Drink Lady said...

Never get drunk at the company Christmas party! Or while golfing...very interesting. If he was good looking, I wonder if he would of still been fired. All the girls like to good looking ones!

Thx for stopping by!

Baloney said...

I think you can only blame the booze so much on this one. He was gonna whip it out one way or another.

A Year on the Grill said...

what a waste of good liqueur...

hey, come take a look at today's post, you might be interested in how i rebuilt New orleans, one cocktail at a time

Mayhem and Moxie said...

Nothing good comes of drinking with your co-workers or your boss. I have definitely learned that lesson the hard way.

Great post!

DeNae said...

This is EXACTLY why I'm afraid of golfing.

Kate said...

Wow that is really quite "special" Men can be very strange.

Kate x

blueviolet said...

It seems like no matter how drunk you are, you'd know not to whip out the whipper.

HalfAsstic.com said...

I think I may dislike him even before the unprofessional behavior. Seriously, that job title means he don't do squat. I believe most job titles that verbose, that actually say nothing, mean the same.

Lisa and Laura said...

Further proof that Jack Daniels is the devil. Or maybe it's the...er...nevermind.

Savvy Gal said...

that is so funny and sad at the same time. this is why one should drink during important events uh....

JaelCustomDesigns said...

LMAO! Oh,PRICELESS!

I'm speechless...

I have a bolg award waiting for you on my blog because you are so fabulous! I'm sure you have this one already but, you're a hit! What can I say...

Charisse and Holly said...

Funny...but wrong! Some thoughts need to stay in your head Mister...and not travel out of your mouth and flop out of your pants! Thanks for coming by today. Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Hee..larious. It's amazing what devils lie within when coaxed by some serious hard alcohol. Recently after 5 shots of tequila (dumb), I decided to jump into a friends pool with my party clothes on. Shoes, watch..you name it (stupid).
I use to live in Redmond!

Great post JM & I appreciate all your kind messages on my wee blog. Your amazing!

mandatorybloghere said...

YAY booze LOL

sheila said...

Oh man was THAT every stupid. In so many ways. I'd have to think he's used to that kind of behavior or I doubt if he would have done it when that drunk. Doing stupid stuff when your drunk is just being alittle more daring then you normally are.

But great story! And....(ready?) it wasn't very long either. Or big I mean.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

I bet he's got a hell of a driver in his club sack. Wonder if he prefers short strokes to going long.

Love,

Gutter Mom

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Classy.

That's exactly how I met my husband.

otin said...

Was his Johnson up to par?? LOL!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Maybe he can sue Jack Daniels for making him do what he did, or what he was accused of doing?? Maybe he should sue Jack Daniels for making him forget what he did?? LOL!!
Yikes! Expensive mistake.

Hugs!!

Mind Of Mindi said...

Laugh. Out. Loud! haha! You are hillarious! Guess i'm not the only one that goes crazy drinking Jake. :)

Leah Rubin said...

Another highly esteemed public official goes up in flames! What is the deal with these guys?

How is it that they (or so many of them) seem to think we want to see their tiny little dicks? Weird!

Marie-Jolie said...

Love your blog! It's nice to have a good chuckle to end the day. :)

Barbara Manatee said...

Had to read this to my hubby...although he's quiet and reserved in front of others...this is totally the kind of comment he'd make behind closed doors! He found this pretty amusing.

Thanks for stopping by today! Just curious how you found me! ;-)

Stephanie Faris said...

Hehehehe. Cute! My mom was personal assistant to a high powered business guy and she was always having to cover up his affairs. It amazed me how common stuff like that was. And one of his employees would do inappropriate things like what was outlined above. She'd just run around trying to clean up the messes and hoping no one sued.

M-Cat said...

That. Is hysterical!

AnnQ said...

Nice move, dude. :-)

And "Ball Washer" always makes me giggle when I golf. :-)

Amanda said...

The story is great, but the way you tell it is soooo much better! I'm still laughing.

Secretia said...

Two full glasses of Jack, and I might fuck almost anyone, thats dangerous drinking :)

CatLadyLarew said...

I wonder if he'll be able to collect unemployment?

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Speechless. I am always astounded by the stupidity of people, esp. those you expect to be smarter since they are what would considered to be "successful". With people like this, who needs The Onion? Jack Daniels must have ruined countless professional lives: that thing IS strong. I love the scene in "Management" when Steve Zahn drinks JD straight from the bottle with a straw. Classic.

Dumblond said...

Great. Another D-bag giving my beloved Jack Daniels bad press...