Friday, October 2, 2009

Trick or Treat your way to prison

All the Reese's in the house, put your hands up!!!

From the London AP comes some news that upset Mr. Goodbar, Baby Ruth, and all of their delicious friends. Turns out candy and chocolate may be the paving stones to jail.

New research from British experts published in the October issue of the British Journal of Psychiatry has all the Candy Kings in an upheaval.

These British experts studied more than 17,000 children born in 1970 for about four decades. Of the children who ate candy or chocolates daily at age 10, 69% were later arrested for a violent offense by the age of 34. Of those who didn't have any violent clashes, 42% ate sweets daily.

What's that you say? Candy is the ride to doom?

Simon Moore of the University of Cardiff, one of the paper's authors, said parents who consistently bribe their children into good behavior with candies and chocolates could be doing harm. That might prevent kids from learning how to defer gratification, leading to impulsive behavior and violence.

Even after this group modified the variables regarding social background, economic background, and overall parenting skills, they still found a significant link between violent behavior in adulthood and how much candy was being consumed in childhood.

Here is proof AND rationale to hog all your children's Halloween candy.

Because first of all, you are doing them a favor. Saving them from a life doing hard time in the clink. Plus, they probably don't look good in orange jumpsuits. And you don't really want to learn to hide a shank for them in a birthday cake, do you? As an added golden parachute, NOT letting them have all those yummy vittles tools of corruption will teach them all about passivity and impulse control. Right? That's what the study said!

And of course, this study didn't say anything about adult consumption, even on a daily basis, did it?

Bring that loot home to Mama.

Just kidding.

(not remotely kidding.)

Or partially kidding because our son is only 2 and doesn't quite have trick or treating down pat, BUT, if you want me to help save your children, I will give you my address.

84 comments:

SUGAR said...

ahahha ooh how this made me smile ;)

i think this halloween, if trick or treaters come to my door, i shall convisgate their sweets...its a selfless act, but they are our future ;)

sugar
xoxo

the walking man said...

Seems to me there is a whole new defense brewing for the violent criminals.

"... therefore ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he was poor lad whose only comfort in life was a bit o honey and a pop rock of chocolate, yes if the candy fits you must acquit!"

Jules said...

Did it say anything about ADULTS who eat candy daily???? No? WHEW!

Hit 40 said...

The correlation is probably more to what parents can discipline and keep an eye out for their children. If you love your kids, you do not let them overdose on candy everyday.

This reminds me of the study that children who play a musical instrument are smarter. NO!! Those that buy a musical instrument for their kids are more involved in their child's life than some others. If the child can take the time to practice the instrument, then they are also taking the time to do their homework. Again...

a parent is very involved in their life nagging away at them to work hard!!!

Buckeroomama said...

Good thing trick-or-treating is not big over here. I hide the sweets that my kids get or I tell them the candies are way past their expiry dates, so should be chucked away. I wonder how long I'll be able to do that, though.

Inge' said...

Between this and the tax they are trying to put on soda, I am starting to feel like I am living "Demolition Man".

Where is the nearest Taco Bell?

LadyFi said...

Hilarious! And yet fascinating too... What the article is really saying though is that it is the parents' BRIBERY that is paving the road to jail and not the sweets per se...

Still - I'm all for saving my kids from jail and rotting teeth... Let me have those sweetie bags.. oh, just remembered we don't give our kids any...

Darn!

The Peach Tart said...

Wow. I guess I'm lucky to have beaten the odds since my childhood food of choice was candy.

Theta Mom said...

Alright, based on that proof and rationale, looks like it's a candy filled Halloween for me! LOL
BTW, so loving your blog, just added you to my blogroll because you rock! :-)

Dustjacket Attic said...

Mmm not sure how to get outa this one! So what about bribery with kids in ALL its forms not just using sweets. Maybe they need to do a study on that.
xxo

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Uh oh. I'm already doomed. Well, my kids are anyway. Oh well, I think I'll take their candy anyway!

mo.stoneskin said...

Candy should be illegal for everyone but me. I can handle a candy bar a day without becoming a criminal.

Vodka Logic said...

Nothing to do with the parenting, what if you bribed with toys instead... I don't buy it. But what what if it is true, it is too late for my kids they are well over 10. Best start learning to bake.

So now how do I get the candy from the kids???

A Year on the Grill said...

I KNEW IT...

My brother always stole my candy

Eric said...

This begs further study... For example, do the candies predominantly eaten during the life of the kids match the crimes they are later convicted of?

'Sweet Tarts' = prostitution
'Payday' = extortion
'Million Dollar' = bank robbery
'Red Hots' = arson
...
???

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

I'm going to add on to what Eric above me has written regarding the meaning behind treats. Perhaps children just need to choose their candy more carefully. For instance, if you eat:

"Nerds" = you'll be smarter. Look at Bill Gates

"Snickers" = you'll be the class clown and perhaps grow up to be George Carlin or Robin Williams

"Twix" = you'll actually be thinner like a stick. Ask Kate Moss.... wait BAD example, she's a coke addict, right? Oh nevermind.

How can something that tastes so good be so wrong? Candy that is_

Mommy Mac said...

Hi Jenny!

Sorry for my lapse in commenting. I have actually not be holding up my end of the blog friend bond.

My apologies profuse and abound to you!

Hmmm. I love me some candy.

I see the whole bribery only leads to doom.

Sends all kinds of wrong messages.

I imagine my boys considering premarital sex with a young woman in their teenage years (Oh I hope and pray not) and offering her a Twix for it.

Nah, Casey would give her some Skittles.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Give me YOUR candy, boys!

.mac :)

Lisa said...

Makes perfect sense to me.

Shorty said...

Hmmm... perhaps a better study to do with candy might be one on the likelihood of getting cavities or becoming obese. Violence? How about that we just have a very violent society... quite animal-istic at times... with the desire to be overly politically correct and not shame anyone for doing something 'bad' as they grow up. hmmm... or how about we blame the violence on drug usage. yeah, that's it. Blame the Drugs! Because that always makes 'good' parents look like they didn't do anything wrong, right?

Cee said...

That must explain why I am such an angel...I don't really like candy haha

M-Cat said...

What sucks is I have no trick or treaters at home anymore. I just have to eat all that candy that I am 'supposed' to be handing out.

Lock me up now.

Too Many Hats said...

I'm set - Ihave three that trick or treat, so I'll never have to ask my dh to run to the store for chocolate again. It happens and he does - I so heart him. Thanks for bringing this enlightening scientific evidence to my attention.

Kimi said...

SWEET!

Back in the day, my dad always had to pull the old, "Better let me check to make sure it isn't posioned" deal, but now...now we have a real reason.

I couldn't be more thrilled.

Badass Geek said...

Candy creates criminals? Well, then lock me up.

Suburban Princess said...

I doubt the problems stem from eating candy every day...they stem from not eating anything else!

Did you see Jamie's School Dinners? The show Jamie Oliver did about the food being served in schools...the children he worked with could only identify 1 vegetable!!! The potato! None of them had ever seen any other types of veggies or fruit. And this isnt some 3rd world country, this was England! I think this lack of proper food in their diets is more what the problem is than a little candy every day!

Scrappy Girl said...

The world is in big trouble then when I release these sugar filled kiddos!

leigh said...

There is an award waiting for you over at Leigh vs Laundry.

XO
Leigh

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Well, I guess my kids are screwed.

Better start baking cakes with shanks.

Living on the Spit said...

I went trick or treating one year with my 5 younger ones and took a wagon along in case some of them got tired...they eventually were evicted from said wagon so there woud be somewhere to put the haul...literally a wagon full.

Maybe that's the reason my 17 y/o son masterminded an escape plan for himself and 7 other minor males from a locked treatment facility in Texas, only to be apprehended a few hours later.

When I finally got to question his thinking...he told me it was all my fault. (Ummm, yeah...I am in VIRGINIA.)

(True story...would I lie?)

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Save the Children! Save them! Poor unsuspecting little buggers. I raid their loot as soon as they get in bed. I always say, Nope that one you could choke on (better give me the butterfinger), nope, no skittles, sorry no kit kat's not in this house.

Hehe :)

Michael Rivers said...

Interesting study. How wonder how scientific it is? In any case, we must save the children!

otherworldlyone said...

I heard about that on the radio this morning.

What a bunch of retards.

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

Do you suppose if we bribe criminals with candy while in prison and allow parole officers to continue the practice, recidivism will lessen?

Eva Gallant said...

You are deliciously insane!! Loved this post! Gotta' go eat some chocolate now, before some potential juvenile delinquent gets his hands on it.

Kristina P. said...

Well, according to my latest post, jail is awesome, so I am all over this!

Georgina said...

So when I land in the slammer - because apparently that's where I am headed - do you think my Popeye Cigarettes will be worth any "favors" on the inside? - G

Little Ms Blogger said...

Give me a break....first blame it on t.v., now candy - what's next crappy toilet paper?

Stereos and Souffles said...

I am such a good friend that I ate a little girls Halloween candy last year. You know, to save her from becoming someones b%$#* in the future. I think I'll do it again this year.

Ela said...

I need me some kiddies so I can steal their chocolate, I mean shower them with love.
I've missed your blog and the way it makes me smile. Sorry I've been MIA - just needed a break.
Happy weekend to you and the MacFamily :)

Lisa Anne said...

Very Interesting!

Barbaloot said...

Hmm-I must be an exception to the rule cuz I am quite the model citizen despite my inhalation of sweets...questionable.

Nonflammable said...

I am more interested in the panel of experts academic background.

What universtiy courses did they partake that could have prepared them for this in-depth study??

Tay said...

I'm so glad to have found the answer to saving my son's future. WHEW! And to think that all I have to do is to not let him eat candy.

Nyx said...

oh man...i am so screwed....

Mrs Montoya said...

Thank goodness you've given me a solid justification for my withholding of treats. I have been working through the whole "developing healthy habits" angle, but keeping them out of jail just sounds much better!!! Always a helper, Jenny. Always!

i am the diva said...

well, it's time to think of the children...

won't SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!?

:D

Kr√ęg said...

I love it when studies confuse correlation and causation. If parents had rewarded/bribed children with glasses of water or bacon, would the results have been any different?

Ju said...

I think Kreg above is right. Its not the sweets.
I grew up like these 1970s kids they talked about and me and my friends are doing well thanks. No jail, no strange behavior.
Of course too many sweets are bad for many reasons, but the British conclusion is a bit absurd.
Halloween with sweets, but in moderation.

Intense Guy said...

"Of the children who ate candy or chocolates daily at age 10, 69% were later arrested for a violent offense by the age of 34. Of those who didn't have any violent clashes, 42% ate sweets daily."

confuses me... I think the "didn't have" was supposed to be "had".

I love statistics and how you can prove anything at all with them.

So the new rage will be to plead the daily candy defense...

*bangs on his cell door with his one-a-day snickers bar*

Grand Pooba said...

Yet another reason I need to have kids.

Pricilla said...

I read this story and this old goat has eaten so much candy in her day that she should be in lockup. Perhaps the difference is the lack of bribing by the parents. I just ate more chocolate (and still do) than a goat should.

Life Laugh Latte said...

I love still having one little one the trick or treat with. He's six and still needs me to "carry the bag" for him after house number 6 or so. That's when mommy wears the coat with the deep pockets and slowly...so he won't notice...steals her favorite treats. Ahhhh...it made me feel better to confess it! Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

The Redhead Riter said...

That is a huge haul of candy!!!!

That would last Alyssa and I about 20 years...LOL

If you want a 16 year old trick or treating at your house, send your address over...LOL LOL LOL

Lisa and Laura said...

I'll happily take one for the team.

carma said...

You said it - I like to instruct my son ahead of time what candies to pick up for me on his rounds :D

Live.Love.Eat said...

I can't believe there are people who spend time on studies like this.

kyslp said...

I guess I can sto stop saving for my kids' college tuition. Woo-hoo!

Lauren said...

Bring on the chocolate...preferably with peanut butter in the middle!

JenJen said...

*giggle*
Reminds me of the time we visited a friends' house and my daugher opened the pantry and announced:

"ALL YOU HAVE IS JUNK!"

Yep. I brainwashed my child. Trying to keep them out of the pokey. And orange.
Orange looks good on no one.

Lexcen said...

I've always held the theory that the root cause of bad behavior in children is too much sugar but when I tried to verify this by searching for scientific research I couldn't find any proof.

Michele Renee said...

It must already be true at my house. My 3rd grader has said for 2 months now that he is dressing up as a robber.

brainella said...

So if we refrain from letting our child eat candy during year 10, he won't be a violent criminal? :-) Awesome. I'm going to put THAT on my calendar!

Pollyanna said...

Bring on the candy! I love this time of year! My butt hates it, but (hee, hee I said but(t) twice) I LOVE it!

The Daily Connoisseur said...

First of all, I love the name of your blog... You had me at cocktail! ;) And this article is very funny and interesting. Hmmm. Maybe there is something in the chocolate that makes one slightly unhinged after time. I suppose I can now justify my extravagant couture chocolate obsession- a girl's got to stay out of jail, doesn't she?

Emily said...

I read that the other day too. Yk, I'm just not buying it. I mean, I'm pretty sure that I have been eating as much chocolate as I can get my hands on from day one and I am a model citizen! ;P

Amo said...

I would love to have an excuse to consume my child's Halloween candy without guilt! Maybe this is the path toward a long-awaited sugar high...

J.J. in L.A. said...

Of us sibs, only 1 has seen the inside of a jail (at 17). The only 1 who never seemed interested in candy but who puts 2 heaping teaspoons of sugar in his coffee - a habit that started when he was 16.

Hmm, makes you wonder.

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

I'm doomed and so are my kids!

Little Ms J said...

The Po Po's are coming for me. Aren't you a lawyer? I needed sugar to deal with my freckles. Can you help me out?

Whimsical Creations said...

My kids are doomed, too.

blueviolet said...

I say it's worth it.

Slamdunk said...

Wow, thanks for the warning. We will provide carrots and snow peas for neighborhood trick or treaters this year.

Wait, I wonder if those academicians studied how much criminal behavior results from receiving lousy handouts during Halloween? I thinking the cars will certainly be egg'd this year.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Then.... I should be in JAIL? Seriously?

Seriously?

Hugs!!

The Savage said...

You can send me all the black licorice....

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Oh boy I'm in trouble :)

What a selfless act my dear :)

P.S. My word verification is Trick ... Hmmmm makes you think.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I say let the kids have some innocent fun! What's trick or treating without the candy? That stash in the photo is amazing. I wonder how long it took them to eat it all?

Unknown Mami said...

I certainly do not want to be responsible for future crime waves. Candy here I come!

edder said...

My mother limited our sugar and candy intake as kids but we were allowed junkie cereal -- Count Chocula, Sugar Crisps, etc. -- on weekends only and soda was contained to birthday parties only, so perhaps that's why I tend towards a passive/aggressive lifestyle as an adult.

Thanks so much for Following me JennyMac. You can count me as a new follower!

Baloney said...

Note to self: I have 4 years to break Jacob of his chocolate habits.

Shop Girl* said...

Oooh I read about this!! I can't believe it's the only cause, but I can certainly see how it could contribute. As a teacher I've seen what kids eat for their lunches and it is alllllll sugar, especially the kids who tend to act up more. It's kinda crazy.

CatLadyLarew said...

I guess that means it's too late for me.

Metropolitan Mum said...

Fantastic. Now I know why they started banning chocolate from lunch boxes here.

Brochure Printing said...

Oh my. Those findings are so... weird.
If that's the case, then there's no hope for humanity anymore. I mean, who doesn't like sweets, and who won't kill just to have them (or at least ask from people while wearing a ridiculous costume that is supposed to be "scary")? Someday, all of us will end up in jail.

Milo Schield said...

Didn't anyone read the statistic carefully? Didn't anyone see it so fantastic that it has to be false? Read it: 69% of daily candy-eating 10-year olds are violent criminals by age 34. That is fantastic and it is false. The AP made a mistake. See my blog, AP Creates Bogus Crime Wave, at www.StatLitBlog.org
Milo