From the London AP comes some news that upset Mr. Goodbar, Baby Ruth, and all of their delicious friends. Turns out candy and chocolate may be the paving stones to jail.
New research from British experts published in the October issue of the British Journal of Psychiatry has all the Candy Kings in an upheaval.
These British experts studied more than 17,000 children born in 1970 for about four decades. Of the children who ate candy or chocolates daily at age 10, 69% were later arrested for a violent offense by the age of 34. Of those who didn't have any violent clashes, 42% ate sweets daily.
What's that you say? Candy is the ride to doom?
Simon Moore of the University of Cardiff, one of the paper's authors, said parents who consistently bribe their children into good behavior with candies and chocolates could be doing harm. That might prevent kids from learning how to defer gratification, leading to impulsive behavior and violence.
Even after this group modified the variables regarding social background, economic background, and overall parenting skills, they still found a significant link between violent behavior in adulthood and how much candy was being consumed in childhood.
Here is proof AND rationale to hog all your children's Halloween candy.
Because first of all, you are doing them a favor. Saving them from a life doing hard time in the clink. Plus, they probably don't look good in orange jumpsuits. And you don't really want to learn to hide a shank for them in a birthday cake, do you? As an added golden parachute, NOT letting them have all those
yummy vittles tools of corruption will teach them all about passivity and impulse control. Right? That's what the study said!
And of course, this study didn't say anything about adult consumption, even on a daily basis, did it?
Bring that loot home to Mama.
(not remotely kidding.)
Or partially kidding because our son is only 2 and doesn't quite have trick or treating down pat, BUT, if you want me to help save your children, I will give you my address.