W.I.F.E

In his column, The Take, Dan Balz, a journalist for the Washington Post shared a precious quote from Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer. Schweitzer was quoted as praising Virginia gubernatorial candidate Terence R. McAuliffe as someone who, "when there's a bump in the road, he's not going to cry like a girl and quit."

This was June 7, 2009. Not June 7, 1949 like you might think.

A play on words? Perhaps. Words he got slammed for uttering? Possibly. A statement his wife and daughters liked very little. Certainly. Was it the worst thing ever said? Of course not. But good job Schweitzer, because you look like a tiny d-bag.

And albeit indirectly, it reminded me of a joke a salty old codger told me years ago. I was in a bar celebrating with a gaggle of girlfriends shortly before my wedding. It was getting last, one of our last stops, well past the witching hour because CLASSY has already gone home to bed.

This man says to me: Oh, you're getting married, huh?

Me: (all smiley) Yes, I am.

Him: That poor fool.
And then he chortles.

My thought: WOW, you're neat-o.

Him: You know what Wife stands for right?

Me: Ummm, no.

Him: Washing, Ironing, F___cking, Etc.
He follows this with more chortling and a couple of snorty snorts.

It took me all of one second to recover before I said: Oh, don't be stupid. JohnnyMac knows I don't IRON.