Thursday, December 3, 2009

Caffeinated

Yesterday began in the normal fashion. Up early, helping MiniMac start his day. As we make his breakfast, I make my tea. I drink scads of herbal tea. All day, always caffeine-free, with a few varieties from The Republic of Tea amongst my usual lineup. And I usually have two giant mugs prior to departing for the office.

After my second cup yesterday morning, things were getting a bit rowdy with MiniMac and me singing rock and roll versions of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. JohnnyMac would welcome complete silence in the house but we can't be contained.

I am innately a morning person as in I LOVE it. But I felt especially motivated yesterday so after MiniMac and JohnnyMac departed, I opted for an early workout. 41 minutes in, I am totally en fuego. As if suddenly, cardio machines have no ability to bring me down.

Getting home, I turn on satellite radio and an old-school Ying Yang Twins song comes on and I am dancing around like it is audition day for the LA Laker Girls. Want some high-kicks? Here they come.

Appreciative of the new found vigor, I only contemplated said vigor when it never seemed to diminish. Post "Dance-Off" session and making more tea, I happen to look at the new canister purchased days ago from World Market.

When I purchased this new can along with two others, the safety seal was broken. The cashier offered to fetch a new one which I declined. She assured me it was her pleasure. I would assume that someone holding the canister in hand and going to retrieve a second canister would do a quick compare and confirm. At least I would hope, or in the alternative that I would eyeball it myself before buying but alas neither of these scenarios happened.

Why does it matter?
Because this canister I am now holding has 200 mg of caffeine per cup.
Uh oh.

JennyMac on caffeine crack.

I don't do caffeine. Friedrich Runge, one man's hero, but he will never get the street props from me. I have never sipped a luscious latte or a skinny frothy frappucino. Nary a drop of Starbucks or even Folgers has crossed my lips. One of the few people in my family not tapping a vein with the black elixir. I don't drink soda either. Because the last time I had a can of Coke during finals week in law school, it literally kept me up all night. When someone like me, who consumes no caffeine, ever, gets a little taste, its like speed.

Or so I have been told. And not told like "oh a friend told me about speed". I assure you I have never taken speed because I would likely go absolute ape-shiznit. My DNA is all the speed I need.

So I opt to work from home. Mmm hmmm. It was like Kuan-Yin with a thousand arms. And in addition to working on my actual "work" like a pack of 20 mules, I also did about 90 other things. The mere consumption of 600 mg of caffeine acting as the warp speed button. And believe me, my little project is already energized. Caffeinated version = not necessary.

When did the buzz wear off? I am still waiting. With the half-life of caffeine, hopefully it will be any minute.

93 comments:

Jules said...

Oh NO! I think you and Hubby have the same caffeine issues!!!!! YIKES!

the walking man said...

Sounds like you need to put on a heavy coat stand in a doorway and sell that stuff in little baggies.

I'll take a dime bag.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

But think of how productive you were!!

The Peach Tart said...

I'm not addicted to caffeine but I do love my cup of coffee in the morning.

I heard that dancing burns the caffeine so party on JennyMac.

Slamdunk said...

Ha, you are a medical mystery.

I am not a coffee drinker, but used the popular teen product Mountain Dew to survive a few years of night school. The tool was effective, but the sleepy monster always did catch up to me.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I don't know...I think caffeine is manna in my book! 600mg would just get me started! However, I am not a morning person, so maybe that is it!
I am totally laughing at you running all over the house though!

Joshua said...

I'm not a morning person. I also used to drink two 16.9-oz cans of Red Bull a day. Why? Insomnia. The first to wake me up in the morning, the second late in the evening so I crash and could actually go to bed. I stopped 12 weeks ago (saves $30+ a week). Now I'm just up all night and tired all day. Expensive addiction, but got off the train. I stopped drinking Coke December 31, 2005 and haven't had a drop since. Again, addictive personality here and I was up to 6 Cokes per day (since I got the free from work; the joys of working for non-profits in Atlanta and having Coca-Cola donate sodas on top of money). Was only drinking Sprite up until 10 weeks ago. Just water now, with the occassional apple juice thrown in for good measure.

Now if I can just get off candy...

-Joshua

Laurie said...

omg .....can only wish for that kind of energy in AM. I'm the complete opposite. Takes me full two hours to completely wake up!

It's a curse--although I'm tons of fun at night!

Want to try your tea ....which flav's are your fave's?

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

What brand of tea is this? I think I will make a stop to my local market this afternoon. I usually only buy wine there. I suppose next trip, I'll be checking out the tea aisle.

You must have some DNA. I wish caffeine did to me. I don't find it does anything for me except cause me to pee more frequently.

The Sharer said...

YOU are so funny....and that writing made my morning. Full of said buzz, I'm off to beat in my day. Cheers.
S

Simone said...

"audition day for the LA Laker Girls"....no one does visuals in their blogs like you do JennyMac, I could literally picture you!!!

Hoping that things are calming down by the hour :)

BigSis said...

I'm with Mandy - I want some of this tea! I hate mornings!

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Seriously JM, I need some of that tea. I can drink caffeine until the cows come home & not effected, even before bed. I sure wish it worked if only a little bit. Love this story!!

Mommakin said...

I am definitely a morning person, too. I don't need caffeine to get me going, but I do sometimes need it to keep me going. My natural tendency is to have an early morning burst followed by a mid morning crash.

brown eyed girl said...

WOW! I WISH caffiene did that to me! I have a cup in the morning after my run and I feel good to go, never hyper or jittery. I'm kind of envious! :)

mbkatc230 said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying right now. I'm just picturing you zooming around like the Road Runner - meep meep! Personally, I would prefer an IV drip of the stuff, but my Dr. won't do the procedure. Damn medical ethics! 3 cups before I even leave the house, if that tells you anything. Hope you wind down soon. Kathy

Kate said...

I have a total coffee addiction I am seriously grumpy until I get my cup!

Kate x

Will Burke said...

I writer without coffee? What is this madness?! I suppose you don't have a cat, either!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Funnee!
I am a coffee addict!
And I like it!
<><

Jen said...

Maybe I need to quiet caffeine so that I can start is again so it can have that effect on me. ;)

Mrs Montoya said...

I dig mornings, too but it could be because of the coffee. I hope you can contain yourself today. Or at least get a room painted. Or wash all the cars in your neighborhood :) Great post!

Menopausal New Mom said...

I'm glad you were able to get so much done. You sound like my husband, if he gets even a hit of caffeine, he is up for three days. This stuff just wires him where as I can drink a cup of coffee a couple of hours before bedtime and sleep like a baby. Go figure!

Gaia said...

MMM, god bless caffeine! If it only came in an i.v. drip! Good luck with your crash!

Shorty said...

I must say that I love reading your posts. You crack me up every time! And, I can visualize you in action as I see my Hubby do this, too. He sometimes boosts his motivation with a RockStar drink or a pot of coffee in the afternoon hours if he is feeling sluggish. Then he's freakin' wired for the rest of the evening. I keep my liquid-crack consumption for the morning hours while at work and switch to water after that, so sometimes I actually need a little doze when I get home from work. A 10-minute power nap, if you will. But, I wish you all the best as you come back to a state of normalcy. In the meantime, I hope you accomplish tons of items on any 'to do' list you might have lurking. :)

Lisa and Laura said...

Is it wrong that I sort of wish that caffein had this effect on me? Because I totally do...

Cee said...

Your post reminded me of when Lynette got addicted to caffeine pills on Desperate Housewives. (yes I love to relate things back to TV shows)

Poindexter said...

I'm smiling, imagining the double take as you glanced at the tea packaging. Oh-nooo! Yeah, I drink coffee every-single-morning-of-my-life. No problem. But give me a diet soda in the afternoon or evening and I can definitely feel the caffiene rush. But I never get that hyper productivity side effect. Just an irritating internal vibration.

Emily said...

LOL....that's too funny! I'm pretty much a caffeine free person and have made that mistake before!

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

Oh sweetheart... when it wears off you might want to have a sofa or bed nearby ;)

Too funny - even the way you wrote it was like you were standing instead of sitting, and rattling it off full-bore!

You make my day.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

There's actually a musical group called the "Ying Yang Twins"? That sounds like a bad DC Comics crime duo hellbent on taking down the Batman.

jules said...

I decaffeinated about a year ago and now if I accidentally have some, I have a total emotional break-down hangover about 3 days or so later. So if you are weepy and crying in a couple of days, have no fear! I might just be the caffeine hangover. Glad you had a productive day though!

M@ said...

so have you come down yet? :)

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

This was fun. Sorry about the accidental caffeine, but loved the visuals during the dance scenes.

JenJen said...

HA Oh JennyMac. This is hysterical. I was reading and thought...yeah? So? and then it hit me.
HAAHAHAHAHA.

I wish it packed the same punch for me. My tolerance is up and it would take that IV for me to feel a jolt. But damn to I feel it when I don't have any....

PS: We're going to be in your neck of the woods (kind of) the first of the year...

leigh said...

There is a very special award for you at my Blog. It's my way of saying thanks. Thank you for being so loyal and faithful to me babe. You are marvalous!!

I love ya,
Leigh

Badass Geek said...

I wish caffeine affected me like that. I might actually get through a day's work without taking micronaps at my desk.

Little Ms J said...

I can barely form a sentence, much less exercise before 9 a.m. It takes me two hours to wake up every morning and I don't get my high until around 4 p.m. I only drink one cup of coffee a day, which is my special treat. But, even then....

MamaOtwins+1 said...

That is too funny - I found you from Leigh vs Laundry and love the picture at the top! I am a caffeine freak though. Have to have my coffee in the am - every am!

Michael Rivers said...

I drink way too much caffiene. I start the day with coffee. Then switch to Diet Coke. Then late afternoon a cup of coffee before going home. I need to change this!

Lauren said...

I can't function without my hit of caffeine in the morning. But I have to stop by 10am because any caffeine after that and I can't sleep for days!

McVal said...

I can quit if I wanted to... I just don't want to... I need the energy. If I quit, I'll have 3 days of headaches and I don't have time for it.
Besides... when a cappucino tastes so good... Why stop?

obladi oblada said...

LOVE my caffeine..in coffe or tea form. My head will explode and I will be nasty if I dont have it. I envy you for never letting that monkey bite you.

Herding Cats said...

I function fine drinking caffeinated tea, but coffee gives me anxiety and heart palpitations! Caffeine effects each person differently....it sounds like you have no tolerance for it (but hey, at least you were really productive, right?)

Eyes Wide Open said...

Ooh I love me some caffeine in the morning. However, if I have any after 2 pm then I'm like you - heart racing, doing 90 things at once, up alllllllllll night (and not in the good way ;).
Heh...I bet that makes for a fun day.

Heather@WHMB said...

Damn. I'm jealous. I am addicted to some form of caffeine in the morning to get going and it ... barely ... gets ... me ... going. Consider yourself lucky or something. :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh you poor thing!!! But really , the image of you dancing around like a maniac was pretty funny. I am also very sensitive to caffeine. I go 'light' on my coffee and never have caffeine after 11 am!!!
I hope you come 'down' soon...

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I avoid caffeine too, whenever I drink it I have panic attacks. It's not fun having to explain to my boss that I have to leave early because a cup of coffee is making me think I am going to die

Karen said...

I need to wean myself off of caffeine. I keep meaning to get around to it. It doesn't do much to get me going these days, and the tell-tale headache when I don't have any is just not worth it!

CRY said...

can you send that to me
i would love the energy!
hee

linlah said...

So it's safe to say caffine makes you a super-uber morning person.

shortmama said...

I wish it had that effect on me!!

Organic Meatbag said...

Hehehehe...that 200 mg probably would have made my heart explode...

Raoulysgirl said...

I must have caffeine. It's my one true addiction. I can't give it up. Of course, the fact that it comes in the form of Pepsi doesn't help, but I guess it's better than actual crack...

or vodka.

Too Many Hats said...

Wow, you certainly are affected by caffeine. I can do it , but not after 4:00pm or I will be up all night. And yes, I can stop if I really want to.

The Boob Nazi said...

hahaha, I'm trying to stop drinking caffeine. That means I'm tired all the time and not happy.

Keith said...

I hope the buzz finally wore off. Good luck. Take care of yourself. Cheers!

Rebecca Knight said...

I'm also sort of jealous, but not of the crash to come ;).

As a strictly-evening person, I'd almost want to be there, clutching my own cup of coffee, bleary-eyed, and watch this happen to a morning person. You know. For science!

Mommy Lisa said...

I stopped caffiene and soda in the last year. I never felt BETTER! I have a latte once in a blue moon now for the taste. I love me some latte - mmmm.

But I adore my herbal teas.

Arielle said...

I sort of wish I could get that energy rush... caffeine does absolutely nothing for me. I don't drink it often, but it never has. I have a cup of coffee and fall asleep thirty minutes later.

Eva Gallant said...

I can't do caffeine either; but first it's like I'm all revved up and happy, silly; that is followed by nasty bitchiness, then tears, then suicidal thoughts. Not good. So, I stay away from Coffee, Tea, and Soda. I can tolerate dark chocolate in small quantities.

That post was a riot...I could see you flying around! lol

Vodka Logic said...

Not a morning person either, hence the night job. I do love my Starbucks. I have a triple grande now and I could fall asleep. when you live with jet lag every day you get immune.

Would have loved to see you doing the dancing.

How about I feed you some of that crack tea and you come here and help me with a few things.

Jen said...

:) I'm loving the image of you buzzing around on your 'high'! That's me in the mornings after my 3 mugs of coffee. Speaking of, think I'll go brew some more...

Erin said...

I used to have 1 Diet Coke each day, but I quit a few months ago and I've never felt better. I'm naturally a morning person, too. But before I quit, I had to have my Diet Coke before 10-11 a.m. or it would impact my ability to fall asleep easily. I am really caffeine sensitive!

J.J. in L.A. said...

I learned my lesson about drinking caffeinated soda (at night) after having a glass and staying awake til 6 the next morning.

Hey! At least you're getting a lot done. ; )

Alicia said...

I remember when I drank my first mocha. I was sooooo wired and energetic that day! It was amazing! Thirteen years later, I'm still drinking coffee! But, I only need 2 cups a day in the morning and then I'm good!

Intense Guy said...

I was envious of you befores.. and now this...

I need thousands of mg of caffeine via IV (stat!) to get going in the mornings. Maybe you could give a blood transfusion?

Lissaloo said...

It takes me a 3 shot latte at least to start feeling much of an effect, you must be wired :)
Thanks for stopping by my Blog :)

Grand Pooba said...

Oh wow, I would have been wired too! My husband? Not so much, caffeine doesn't affect him at ALL! (But I do enjoy my coffee in the morning!)

Secretia said...

I used to be a high caffeine sonsumer, but now I only drink it in the 3 cups of coffee in the morning. The rest of my waking hours are caffeine free tea or ice water, or no-caffiene diet soda.

Reducing the caffiene made me feel a lot better. But I MUST have it in the morning.

Unknown Mami said...

I gave up caffeine about two years and good riddance I say.

otin said...

I love everything about caffeine except for the heart palpitations that it gives me!

Heather said...

What a rush! Now just don't go chasing that rainbow, it leads to 2pots of coffee a day addiction!

ModernMom said...

Oh good grief this is hilarious!! I wish I could find a jolt like that from tea, I'm already a coffee drinker:)

darsden said...

2 hits of the caffeine crack every morning for me...gotta have it.

Kelly H-Y said...

Hilarious! Sounds like you got a TON done!

Corrie Howe said...

Since I'm reading blogs late today, So I hope you are down from your high and don't have a hang-over to go with it.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I'm a little late so I'm hoping you're feeling better now. I drink green tea all day. I love it. I don't even want know how much caffeine I consume in a day.

Thanks for stopping by!

Hugs!!

Pricilla said...

I need my one cup in the morning. The male person makes it. I don't know how to make coffee. *sigh*
He roasts the beans, he grinds the beans he does something with a crazy, medieval looking machine and boom I have my coffee.

Black.

My mother said that if I was going to drink it I was going to drink it black. I think she was trying to keep me off of it. Didn't work.

I just wish it tasted half as good as it smelled.

kys said...

Are you going back for more?

Kristin said...

Ohhhhhh if only I had your virgin tolerance. Sadly, I think I'm immune at this point. Ah ha ha

Jamie said...

Hahahaha! I heart caffeine, so I cannot commiserate. But for your own sake (and that of your family) I hope it wears off soon!

P.S. I'm guessing these high kicks you speak of would be highly entertaining ;)

Joanna Jenkins said...

That's why I don't drink caffeine anymore. It was brutal to quit but well worth it. Hang in there
jj

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm always incredulous (and somewhat envious) of morning people. I am not. I am dragged into the day kicking and screaming and if I'm not severely caffeinated, I will remain that way till time to go home. Sometimes I over do it and end up doing laps around the office taking care of shit I've been putting off for months. Other times I talk in tongues. But do not mess with my coffee. Or my Diet Pepsi. ESPECIALLY my diet Pepsi.

I do think your canister, however, would push me over the edge of sanity. :)

HalfAsstic.com said...

I. Can't. Live. Without. It...

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh JM that was too funny, gosh wonder if you have come down yet ....
xxx

My name is PJ. said...

Are you sure, quite sure, that you won't find yourself chasing that initial 20 mule team high? Let me remind you it's futile, but, if you find yourself feeling weak, I volunteer to be your sponsor. ;)

Cathi said...

I'm exhausted reading about your caffeine filled morning...haha...

That happened to my tea drinking friend a few weeks ago, she was wired beyond belief!

I love my mocha's but I usually get decaf - it's not the caffeine for me, just the habit and the taste that I love..

Have a relaxing weekend (once the caffeine wears off...) :)

DeNae said...

I'm a diet Coke girl. And a Mormon. With a heart condition, which I'm pretty sure is god's way of saying, "Hey, read those first two sentences, Miz Hypocrite."

So recently I switched to the caffeine free variety. I won't be able to tell you how it's going until I wake up, but I can say this: Clearly, the caffeine was having an effect on me.

(Like, without it, I can't get my muddled brain to tell me whether that sentence calls for "effect" or "affect", although I'm pretty sure the A one is a verb. Or a pronoun. Or a, whaddyacallit, a tangent...wait, isn't that math...?taking a nap now...)

Life with Kaishon said...

Get out of the city. I can't even imagine my days without caffeine. It just perks me up in the morning and makes my eyes stay open : )

Postman said...

For all its destructive neurological effects, in this post, caffeine seems to take on seemingly mythic status, combining the positive attributes of steroids, happy pills, and a stern blow to the conscience.

Kato said...

Hahah! I can drink a coffee at 11:00AM, and not be able to sleep at 11:00PM. after going strong all day.

So I know what you mean. No real coffee consumption happening with me either.

Liz said...

Sorry, but I don't seem to see why this is a bad thing? I mean, jammin' to the Ying Yang Twins?? C'mon...who doesn't want THAT?!?

M-Cat said...

Love me the caffeine. Especially in the form of Monster Low-Carb energy drink. Liquid crack I tell ya.