Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Torrid

Your reputation preceded you. I had heard so many people sing your praises and prattle on about all you had to offer. This glory parade in your honor had little impact on me as I had met several like you. Or so I thought.

When we met, I admit I was more impressed than I anticipated. And soon, my interest grew. But this is how you work your magic, isn’t it? For the non-believers, those with resistance, it is just a slow burning seduction. And at first, while I was spending time with you it certainly didn’t cloud my thoughts from other things. In your absences, I wasn’t curious of your activities or what titillating information you had to share. Even though I was a fan, it was not on display. And I was non-committal.

But the more time we spent together, my interest grew into adoration. You began to leak into my every nerve. And instead of canoodling with you when JohnnyMac was gone, I began to tote you right out into the middle of our conversations. I even brought you to an amazing dinner one night and when JohnnyMac went to the men’s room, I couldn’t resist putting my hands all over you. I even gave you a pet name: Curve. And as we spent a few minutes alone, we got caught. I tried to push you under the table, but it was too late. JohnnyMac saw my behavior with his own eyes.

But it didn’t deter me. Instead, I began to openly flaunt you. I took you on vacation. I would make googly eyes at you when my Hub was trying to talk to me. I promised I wouldn’t carry you with me but then I would slip you into the car. What if something important were to happen and I was not aware?

And then when you were just sitting about, you would beckon me..with that familiar buzz or your flashing red light. Urging me to come over for one little look. I couldn't stay away.

And then one day I had a smacking realization. When? Oh, after almost tripped over someone’s shoes in the living room and in an instant thought, who leaves their shoes in the middle of the living room? And I look down to discover they are MY shoes and I would have seen them had I not been yet again in the middle of my torrid affair with you, my Blackberry Curve.

I need to stop this. I became one of "those girls" who is addicted to technology.

Unlike the belief that you were sewn into my palm, you are not. I need to move on and begin reducing the time we spend together. I like you a little too much.
And now you accuse me of falling under the spell of another. What’s that? I don’t know what you mean. You saw me fraternizing with a new Palm Pre? Oh, he’s just a friend. But I call him Pre for short.

Just because I am done with you, doesn't mean I'm done.

71 comments:

My name is PJ. said...

Now we know one new thing about you, JM - you are EASILY seduced by the little guys who do a lot!

From one tall girl to another, I must say it's all a bit too, "Sonny and Cher" for me....

Jules said...

Ms. iPhone, Hubby, and I have a little three way happening. Sometimes we invite HIS iPhone and make it a full out free for all!

the walking man said...

Call me out of touch I have a cell phone, it has a limited number of minutes on it that I share with the old lady. It does not take pictures, record music, or receive or send texts,and woe to the miscreant who uses my cell number to call me at home.

A blackberry should remain on the bush until ripe then put in cereal and I'm pretty sure you don't need any suggestion what to do with your palm.

That One Mom said...

My Blackberry addiction went to a new and exciting level yesterday. It's called group chat and it rocked my world!!!

And I got an iPod touch last week... AMAZING!!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Cute post and here I was expecting this affair to be with a purse, not a gadget. I'm such a girly, girl!

mo.stoneskin said...

Damn those flashing red lights. The number of times I lean over slightly, turn my head a tad just to see if there is a flashing light across the room.

Vodka Logic said...

I could have written that post I LOVE my Blackberry. And I have moved up to the Bold and am even more enamoured..good luck.

PS my husband can't decide if he wants one.. I am hoping not. lol

Will Burke said...

I was wondering if you 'got religion'

ShellSpann said...

I was addicted too when I had my Curve. Then after about a year, I got sick of it. But when I was obssessed with it, I literally NEVER put it down!

Cee said...

My Blackberry storm "Blackie" and I have a similar realtionship. My boyfriend doesn't mind b/c he has a similar realtionship with his Ipod touch "Touchie"

Mrs Montoya said...

I have solidly refused to get a Blackberry for a while because I don't want to be addicted. And I would. But recently I was hinting to Santa that I might like it. Ya know - just in case someone needed to reach me . . .

Badass Geek said...

I'm glad I don't have a Blackberry. I don't like it when my wife gets jealous.

Slamdunk said...

A good laugh. The crackberry and equivalents have a dominating ones time. I am glad that I have not started this path... yet

Corrie Howe said...

Oh, I know myself too well. I can't even take one peek. If I do, I'll be gone forever. So I force myself not to even go window shopping.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

There really ought to be a double A club for this sort of thing you know?

Lisa and Laura said...

I know the siren's song of that flashing red light all too well...I like to think of it as a beacon of possibilities. I mean who knows what that message might say?

Eva Gallant said...

I guess I was born too soon to be addicted. No blackberry here.

Emily said...

It's not called a crackberry for nothin'! Like I'm one to talk...I update fb about eleventy seven times a day!

ellen abbott said...

No blackberry, no iPhone for me. I still prefer to talk to the person I'm with. Besides the phone bills attached to those things scare me.

My son and DIL however, will sit next to each other on the couch and text back and forth.

Kate said...

Oh I know the feeling of the evil crackberry. I have finally gone cold turkey.... it's been two weeks!

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com/

Mama Bird said...

I too am a little to obsessed with my curve! I love it. One day will driving back from a visit with my mother I literally stopped 45 miles from home at Radio Shack to buy a charger as mine was nowhere to be found and I was about to have a nervous due to the dead battery! TERRIBLE! But, at least now I have a back-up charger! ha

The Peach Tart said...

I've been resisting the evil urge

Ms Bibi said...

I know all about the Curve Curse....my sister gave in and so did my best friend.
One of the reasons why I don't have one, but secretly wish I had. Maybe then I can have a conversation with them....

Kimi@SoManyKidsSoLittleTime said...

Oh my gosh too funny. I have banned myself from owning either because I know I'd be a totally addict.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

We have a great group called bloggers on blackberries. We group chat and it is hilarious. If you still curve, and want to join in on our antics, let me know!

Too Many Hats said...

I hear you. My iPhone has me under its spell too.

Laurie said...

Maybe I should get one??! (seems like I'm totally missing out--like when I didn't have a rabbit)

But then there's the addiction and people going cold turkey!

What should I do? Am due for new phone soon ...

Nonflammable said...

Oh I love my gadgets too and my Popular Science Mag that alerts me to new technology.

Your story had me riveted. Luckily, you haven't run into a door jam.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I have phone envy...for both of them!!! This is too funny. How easy is it for us, as grown women to be so addicted to technology. We need a support group of some sort.

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

This is a really smart post. Loved reading it. You had me on all the way.
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

JenJen said...

My name is Jen and I'm an addict too.
That lil $hit just blinks and dings and ooooh I can't wait to see what that was. Oh, another Victoria's Secret sale.
Shazzam.

Kato said...

My iPhone is my true love, trapped in a gadgets body.

I really believe this.

Little Ms Blogger said...

How very true...

I bet there will eventually be 12 Step Programs for tech addict...Seriously, try going an entire day without computer/handheld device, t.v. and phone...

Technology has really overcome our lives and it can be a bit nuts.

Joshua said...

I used to like my Curve, but it's broken and busted thanks to a two-year-old. However, in 24 days I will be replacing you with my new friend, Pre. I'm counting the days until you are out of my life for good.

-Joshua

La La La Leah said...

haha I was very confused by this post and did not get it until the end.... So much for my reading skillz!

I do have an iPhone but i would like to think that I am on it all the time... Ok I am not. I have no words of Advice, but good luck in whatever you do!!

Alicia said...

oh lady i know the feeling....is it bad if my curve has a very special spot next to my pillow....just in case someone needs me..right?? or if i want to play brick breaker into the wee hours of the night...

MommaKiss said...

Oh sweet baby jesus, I was so addicted to my Curve, I had abused it to the point of disrepair. Alas, I just purchased the new Bold. The 9700. It's like the Lexus of the Blackberry and I can't stop staring at it. p.s - it has a "bedside" mode that dims everything and makes no alerts, but let's me know it's just *there* if I need it. True Love.

sheila said...

*gasp* you tramp.

lol

CRY said...

I am Cry and I also am a blackberry Curve addict, Nice to meet you all and read about other curve addicts happenings. We start with the curve and slowly but surely need something a bit more just as written the Palm Pre.....

Pop and Ice said...

I love my iPhone so much that sometimes I will spend an hour or more in the morning perusing Twitter, Facebook, email and Blogs before even sticking a foot out from under the covers.

Now I'm trying a strict regimen of no iPhone until I've gotten out of bed and gone downstairs for my tea. And then, instead, I just fire up the laptop.

Ah, progress...

Julie said...

my ex bf once ignored me for an entire evening because of my "crackberry" addiction...but it was so new and shiny at the time!!!!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

I am going to copy and print this entire post and give it to my iPhone for Christmas (appropriate name edits, of course). I think he will like it.

The Boob Nazi said...

I HAVE to do the same. I'm addicted to the internet. It's getting to be a huge problem.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I wish you luck with your addiction...maybe we should put you into some kind of 12 step program....lol!

Matty said...

As I'm reading this, I had the sense that you were referring to an object. It sounds similar to a post I did about leaving my John Deere tractor all alone in the shed for many months in a row. John and I have this special relationship, just as you do with your technology.

Kris said...

I will be very addicted to the iphone soon. I should just start therapy now!

Pricilla said...

Being just a goat I'm technologically backward and believe it or not I have never even seen this blackberry thing.

But then again living in the middle of freakin' nowhere Montana it wouldn't work here anyway. We don't even have full cell phone coverage let alone wireless internet.

Erin said...

My phone is a dinosaur and I'm quite sure that I'm one of the few people left with a flip-top cell. But it's probably for the best, or I'd be suffering a similar addiction!

shortmama said...

This is why I dont own a Blackberry

Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

I'm afraid I'd be just as bad, if I had a smart phone. But since all my phone does is text and call, it's not so sexy.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I'm afraid of the affair that is why I haven't gotten one yet.

Cougar Tales said...

Sometimes I check my BB....two seconds after I JUST checked it. What am I looking for? This is when I realize it is such a habit - not a necessity.

Poindexter said...

Oh, say it isn't so!!!! Personal baggage speaking here. I was once involved (notice past tense) with someone addicted to technology. Believe it or not. Gulp, big confession. She interrupted our lovemaking in order to read an incoming text message AND respond. Ouch.

HalfAsstic.com said...

My husband lives and dies by his Palm phone. It is how everyone at his work gets anything done on time. Just think of it as an organizational tool and you won't feel so guilty. ;-)

Aunt Becky said...

I am a blackberry widow, but I left him for The Internet, so we're about even, I think.

J.J. in L.A. said...

This is why I don't have one of those fancy-@$$ phones that do everything but tie your shoes...I'd never get anything done!

Holly said...

So trying to avoid more technology...my hubby...my family would never see me!

undomestic chica said...

Boyfriend and I are both addicted, we've had to set aside no phone times

Alexis AKA MOM said...

He's just a friend ... yeah right how we've heard that one before! So many words come to mind ... LOL :)

blueviolet said...

I feel so antiquated with my cell phone without even texting on it. But then again, maybe I'm better off.

Christiejolu said...

I so want a Blackberry! Maybe I should be afraid!

Herding Cats said...

My iphone is my addiction. I feel lost if it's in the other room. So sad!

Unknown Mami said...

I have an iphone and I'm ashamed to admit that I sleep next to it and sneak it under the covers to peak at it if my husband goes to the bathroom. What is wrong with me? I'm sick.

Erin Bassett said...

I'm so addicted too. Mine's a pink curve...I call it my "pink berry". :)

Live.Love.Eat said...

Ya, I am not too technology driven. If it wasn't for my hubs, I would be talking on one of those huge cell phones like they carried around in Miami Vice.

mama-face said...

My new love is my iphone.

One afternoon my 8 year old boy said..."What is it with you and all this technology". I can't 'splain it.

hotpants™ said...

I loved and adored my Blackberry Curve up until a few days ago. Now my love affair with the Motorola Droid has begun.

kys said...

I almost bought a Pre last month but the Sprint salesman talked me into getting an HTC Hero instead. It's terrible for texting/blogging. I should have bought the Pre.

secret agent woman said...

I get it. I feel the same way about my iPhone.

Jen said...

:) After years of saying I didn't want a new phone (I'd been loyal to my little flip for 4 years) Hubby bought me an iphone. It's never been far from my side since!

Helen McGinn said...

My name is Helen and I too am having a torrid affair with technology; wish they'd stop upgrading cos I can't.