Ho Ho Whoa...WTF did she just say?

Before MiniMac turned one I made the well-intentioned decision to take him to Lenox Square for a photo opp with the Lenox Square Santa. Yes, this is the most revered Santa in all of SantaLand apparently. Which explains two things: Why one would attempt strategy and military tactics to avoid waiting in long lines even though she was a new parent and completely clueless that EVERY mother there had the same idea in mind. AND why the line I thought I would outfox would have more people in it than a free Rolling Stones concert in Central Park.  It is also interesting that I would take my wee baby to see Santa aware the majority of tiny children don't even want to be held by anyone not sharing their same DNA but that he would somehow make an exception for a large fluffy man with a giant beard and tummy to match. But alas, I was new.

While in line and attempting to pass time and not let my impatience bomb explode, I chatted with the women in front of me. One I recognized from Tennis. She was there with her darling daughter almost four, as well as husband's sister and her offspring. Why is this relevant? You'll see.

So we all chat it up as the line goes about as slow as a long day in Western Kansas, and finally, the two women in front of me are next which puts MiniMac and I on deck. Sister in law went first with her two. Tennis Mom and I chatted as her little daughter made sweet kissy faces at MiniMac. And then it is Tennis Mom's turn with her child.

Her daughter sits on Santa's lap and they take adorable pics. Santa asks her what she wants for Christmas and she relays in solid detail exactly what she wants. Santa smiles and asks, "Is there anything else?"

"Well," she said slowly, "Mommy wants a different husband but I don't know what that is..."

Santa sort of chuckles because really, what else is he going to do? Tennis Mom's face almost implodes. Because I have no poker face (nor a lady's mouth) I am quite certain upon seeing Tennis Mom's face I, in a movie theater style whisper, say something precious like "ohsh*t"

Sister in law (with a rather frowny face) says to child on Santa's lap, "WHAT did you just say Madeline?????"

Tennis Mom does not maintain cool. Tennis Mom grabs the daughter from Santa's lap, basically tucks her under the arm, and flees the scene with all the quickness and dexterity of someone who just spent a week at Terry Bradshaw Training Camp.
 

Sister in law, in a flurry of stroller and Burberry scarf, was in hot pursuit.

MiniMac was nonplussed of course so we just rolled right up for our photo opp. And before that photo opp was completely halted by MiniMac's fear of Santa demonstrated by terrified cries, I say to Santa in reference to Tennis Mom's scenario, "Is that the craziest thing you have ever heard?"

Santa, with his bowl full of jelly shake shake shaking says, "No dear, it isn't."

Tennis Mom: Ask Santa for a delete button for your kiddo's one-liners next year.