Monday, December 7, 2009

Don't give our dog a bone....

Growing up, my family lived at the end of fairly secluded road. By design, my parents bought the land and built the house to have few neighbors. The benefit of this to them was privacy. The drawback for me was no “real” neighborhood. We did have a large turnaround at the end of the road past our house so every so often, a wayward car would end on the wrong destination and traverse by our home.

One Sunday afternoon when I was a youngster, an unknown car drove down our road. Unlike normal occasions, this car didn’t leave. After about thirty minutes, my Father, the constant policeman, decided to investigate. As he exited our front door, one of our smaller dogs ran out. Ironically, the trajectory of this small dog, was in direct route to the car that had begin to move from its parked location. The car ran over our dog. The yelp alerted my Mom, who also ran out of the front door with our two Airedale Terriers in tow.

Upon hitting the dog, the car stopped and the driver got out of the car. As he went to pick up our small dog, Chewie, our older Airedale bit him right in his arse. As he dropped our small dog, his hands flew behind him to protect his wound. At which point, our Airedale bit him again. In the crotch. All of this being witnessed by my parents. As they mentally assessed the potential life-altering damage to the driver’s manly parts; they also realized that not only would our dog be put down for this but the man would likely sue us and win.

So in the middle of the wild racket of barking, attacking, and loud yelping by both dog and man, my Father said he would call 911. All surprise on my parents when the man, holding both front and back parts, declines. My Father stresses to him the potential risk of this type of injury and the need for medical care. They offer to drive him to the hospital. The man again declines. My parents at least get his information, which he was reluctant to share, before he gets back in the car with his wife and drives away.

Days later do my parents discover the reason for the man’s refusal of transportation and/or medical care. He and his wife sought follow up treatment after the incident. His wife: not the same woman in the car with him.

What kind of sign is that when you are parked for a thirty minute interval on a lonely, secluded street with a female companion someone NOT your wife and through a small turn of events, a large Airedale with a scissor bite gives you a chomp in your biscuit AND your ding dong?

I believe it was a warning he took very, very seriously. Karma…she’s always on her toes.

83 comments:

Jules said...

Oh, that was DEFINITELY karma biting him in the arse and um....other part!!!

Pop and Ice said...

And how on earth did he explain the bites and the fact that he didn't want to disclose the location or dogs involved? It would seem like that would be mandatory! And, yes, karma can be nasty that way.

Mommakin said...

Oh, yeah. Karmic justice. LOVE it!

af1blog said...

I guess the guy wouldn't want to publicise what happened for obvious reasons, but I'd say your parents were very lucky they didn't end up with TWO women suing them for damage to their sex-lives - lol

M@ said...

Karma is a boomerang, and it usually comes back with interest.

Biscuit and Ding Dong? :) Funny stuff.

mo.stoneskin said...

But more importantly, that is an exceptionally well-trained Airedale.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

First, the title is SO clever!! And the story hilarious!

Badass Geek said...

Ouch. Sympathy pains.

Not that I have sympathy for the schmuck who was getting some on the side, but for the biting of the Family Jewels... ouch.

Will Burke said...

Ph'kr had it coming, alright!

Stacey said...

But was Chewie OK? Can you tell I'm a dog lover? :-)

BigSis said...

That is AWESOME. I love Karma!

Mighty M said...

Ooooh, how perfect!!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

I'm so sorry for your little dog but isn't this just a lesson directly from Karma! Loved it and I wonder how this hubby managed to explain those "wounds" to the little lady when he got home!

Gaia said...

Karma rocks. Airedales are an excellent judge of character! My sweet man and i had an Airedale when we first got married...boy, did that dog keep us on our toes! Great story!

Slamdunk said...

Yeah that is a lesson.

Police officers do love their privacy--few neighbors and the constant search for a moment of peace.

Tsquared417 said...

Justice!!

Lisa said...

WOW! That's some killer karma right there! I am a total believer in what goes around comes around.

Emily said...

Ha! He probably didn't need his mistress very long after that incident!

Chic Mama said...

I'm sorry about your dog......but can't help having a little grin on my face for said man. Too right, he got what he deserved. Actually he should have got more because of your dog!!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Your dog rocks. He knew a DOG when he saw one. Karma...'tis our friend.
How was the little dog???

Raoulysgirl said...

I'm usually cursing karma under my breath...but in this case, I'm loving her!!!

tori said...

I love stories like this! Somehow there is always justice in the end (and in the jewels) for cheaters!

Michael Rivers said...

Karma does have a way of coming up and saying Hello!

Herding Cats said...

That's pretty funny....but was the little dog okay?

Summer said...

Beautiful story!!!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Poor little doggie. But oh, what a sweet tale of karmic revenge! :)

jules said...

That is a totally bazaar series of events. I'm so sorry for the loss of you dog back then though. Glad you other dogs taught him a lesson!

Erin said...

I am so glad Karma was around that day. But am terribly sad about your small doggie...that must've been so hard.

Eva Gallant said...

Priceless!!

Heather@WHMB said...

Ha! Awesome, Karma is a bitch and I love her for it.

More importantly though, was the little dog OK? :)

JenJen said...

I thought Karma would bite you in the ass, turns out it was a terrier.
Funny.
Karma can be a terrier, can't she?

foxy said...

Wow - what a story! That taught him a lesson, now didn't it?!

Julie said...

that is so crazy, karma at its best!

Kristina P. said...

Oh, wow! What a story!

UberGrumpy said...

I wonder how he explained it to his wife?

JennyMac said...

You all are so sweet with concern for our dog that got hit by the car. I should have included Chewie, wasn't even seriously injured from the event.

Aunt Becky said...

Now that is karma, baby.

Laurie said...

Yay! Wondering about Chewie too ...

Sigh. The STUPID things people do is a constant education and source of amusement. Plus! Make great things to write about!!

The Boob Nazi said...

Awesome. Funniest thing I've read in days.

DeNae said...

Talk about poetic justice. Sounds like this guy dips from MY karmic well, since I never get away with anything. I keep saying the afterlife had better be AWESOME because I'm not allowed an ounce of fun in this one.

(And I'm glad your little dog was all right.)

Mommy Lisa said...

Now that I know that Chewie was okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

love it!

linlah said...

I laugh with Karma and never at her.

Poindexter said...

Yeah, you sure don't see that every day. Vivid memories, all around!

Blondie said...

Karma gets you every time! Thanks for the kind comments on my Pearl Harbor post honey. I hope you had an amazing weekend. Kori xoxo

shortmama said...

He deserved both of those bites!!

Mrs Montoya said...

What goes around comes around kids - maybe he decided to stay cloesr to home after that!! Please tell me your pup was OK!!!

Pricilla said...

Karma is a bitch.
I do wonder HOW he explained it to the wife. heh heh

I Wonder Wye said...

This was great - rarely do we witness the karmic universe in action like that (they way we want it!) My dad's an architect so we also lived in a secluded house in the woods -- 45 years later they are still in the house and there is still a great buffer of woodlands surrounding it -- we mostly got animals dumped off in our area....(I love Airdales! Have always wanted an 'Asta' -- ended up with a horse sanctuary and cats...). Thank you for your sweet note. I am so glad your mom stopped by....

My name is PJ. said...

And that's what you get when you don't hold your, ahem, assignation in the room of a lovely hotel.

That was one of the morals to the story, wasn't it???!!!

Too Many Hats said...

OMGosh! What are the odds of that?! I wonder how he explained it to his wife.

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

karma rhymes with Dharma. Just saying. not really sure where I'm going with that.

undomestic chica said...

Haha, thanks for giving me a smile at work

blueviolet said...

Karma was certainly working that day. But, I'm sorry about your little dog!

HalfAsstic.com said...

OH.MY.GAWD. That is priceless! Don't you know that he was feeling like he should be looking over his shoulder for God pointing His finger at him?!
Too funny!

Rowe said...

Ouchy, oochy, that will teach him, perhaps.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I love Karma! She's one cool chick!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh man, justice can be SO sweet!


(My husband is going to die when I tell him this story! Any story that involves a man's ding dong getting damaged is HILARIOUS to him. As long as it's not HIS ding dong.)

Vodka Logic said...

You have more interesting stories. Thanks for the heads up.

CRY said...

NO WAY!!
too funny

Nyx said...

My dog Lili did something very simular to my Uncle one time...but she didn't cause any damage. She just wanted to warn him.

I think.

I love airdales! They're absolutely gorgous dogs.

And I'm sorry about your little dog. Was he ok in the long run?

secret agent woman said...

Well, karma I guess. But very, very lucky for your parents he didn't sue - it's a little scary to have dogs who don't mind attacking humans.

mbkatc230 said...

I can tell you with certainty that there is not a Dr. at our clinic that would have put your dog down. If anything, they might have given him a ribbon! This story is priceless, and yep, Karma can be a bitch. Kathy

Intense Guy said...

I'm glad Chewy was seriously hurt.

I still have nightmares from seeing my dog run out the front door chasing a a lawnscapers trailer and getting hit by the wheel fender several years ago. I can still hear that yelp. She ended up with a dislocated shoulder and I had to lift her into the cat to take to the vet.

As for the guy...he needed a dog like Chewy giving him a good chew. Sheesh. I'll take a dog over most humans anyday.

obladi oblada said...

Oh man...that is a funny AND sad story. Was the little dog ok? I hope so....and I LOVE Airedales. They are on my list of dogs I want to own someday...now I really want one knowing they bite cheaters in the ding dong...that is awesome!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

That is priceless! And so well deserved. The universe was certainly telling him something! I don't think his wife could have even screwed him that bad in the divorce ... GREAT job doggies!

Baloney said...

Dang. Dogs have that sense about people don't they?! LOL.
Your life is way more interesting than mine. :)

Marguerite said...

Incredible story! Poetic justice, for sure. Men!!!

Candice said...

I'm so glad Chewie was okay. Thanks for the update on that.

AnnQ said...

Great story! LMFAO!

I also like how one of your dogs was protecting his dog friend :-)

kys said...

Now I'm not a fan of Karma when she's biting my butt. In this case, I'm all for it. Too funny!

Matty said...

This is one dog-gone funny story.

ByDSea said...

LOL....That was one smart dog! Love it!
C

WhisperingWriter said...

Karma rocks, that's for sure.

Bee and Rose said...

Oh my heck! If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is!

Awesome story!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Karma will get you every time!

xo

Kato said...

Hee hee!! I was filled with glee reading that your dog bit him in his bits!

Good doggy!

Also, I hope your other little doggy was ok :(

Heather said...

Sad but funny. Sorry about your dog. That dude had some major explaining to do, when he got home! LOL

Simone said...

Biscuit and ding-dong...love it! Great story, karma indeed.

I love it when you write "arse"...you sound so British :)

Corrie Howe said...

I was an au paire girl for a family in Germany who had an Airedale. If the husband went into the master bedroom before the wife, the dog let him stay. If the wife and Airedale went in first, the husband couldn't get in the room. Needless to say the dog died of a mysterious poison when wife and I went away for a week.

Pres. Kathy said...

What an interesting story!

M-Cat said...

Too funny. You can't make this shiz up!

McVal said...

LOL! Once my hubby and I (after kids) went on a "date" and decided to "park" on a lonely stretch of gravel road in the dark. About 3 cars stopped to see if we needed any help. Aren't Iowans the nicest people?!!

kristibonney said...

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
What a great story! It's sad, but also a great reminder that karma will find you. I hope he learned his lesson.

Kristi, Hello...Is This On?
@TweetingMama