Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Joy and Pain

Part I: Joy
also known as: Would you please add another "to do" to your list?

Awesome Hyla at GreenEarthJourney sent me an email last week that she nominated me for a Dottie Award at MomDot.com. Let's have a cocktail made it into the category of Press Secretary. If you have a minute, pop over and cast your vote. Thank you again Hyla and thank you for taking a minute to visit the site.

Part II: Pain
also known as: Now you can laugh at me.

Our little man has a new classmate. His classmate is why some parents drink. Take 200 gallons of piss and vinegar and pour it into a 26 pound beaker, and there you have it. For fun, let's call him Bonkers McNewKid.

Bonkers McNewKid is a whirling dervish. He is into everything. I am perplexed how our child's teachers could be around this level of irritation energy without Xanax. And he loves to kick, hit, bite, and scratch. All of the parents are aware. And the teachers aren't allowed to tell you which "friend" gave your son teeth marks/blackeye/scratch marks/bruise but all you have to do is simply ask your child.

Me: What happened to your eye, baby?
Son: Bonkers McNewKid hit me.

Last week, I went to fetch MiniMac. Bonkers was being taken to task by one of the teachers for scratching another child. Yes, I know the tendency for 2 and 3 year old kids to express themselves this way. However, Bonkers immediately comes to me, latches onto my leg like he is in some log-climbing contest and starts to dig in.

I say to Bonkers in a I MEAN IT voice: Do NOT scratch me, Bonkers McNewKid. Bonkers runs away.

We get home and Daddy asked Munchkin what happened to his eye.
Munchkin rats out Bonkers.
Mommy says, "Bonkers is a maniac."
Mommy does not say this in a sing-songy way. Mommy has tone.
Daddy gives Mommy a look.
Mommy realizes we don't call people names as that is NOT NICE.
Mommy hopes Munchkin doesn't listen well right this minute.
MiniMac: Daddy, Mommy said Bonkers is a maniac!

Daddy: Mommy meant Bonkers is a nice boy. Mommy needs to go to time out.
Mommy looks at Daddy as in Whaaaaaaaaat?
Daddy gives Mommy a really good look that conveyed multiple messages.
Mommy returns that look with a look indicating our son doesnt think maniac is a bad word!
Munchkin: I'm telling Miss Lottie (one of his teachers) Bonkers is a MANIAC!!!!
Daddy: Have fun explaining yourself.
Mommy parks it in Time Out.

Another reason Bonkers McNewKid is on Mommy's Poop List.

83 comments:

My name is PJ. said...

Arghh! I say let him walk the plank! ;)

Of all the things, McMunchkin could repeat at school, 'maniac' is probably going to be refreshing for the teacher to hear. After all, it's more than 4 letters and it's 3 syllables to boot!

the walking man said...

When in the hell did the rules of parenting change? I must have missed the memo.

Sunshinemeg said...

Bonkers McNewKid better watch his back. He might think he is clever. I say bite him back. Wait, that probably isn't good advice. Ha!

Simone said...

Ugh, the bad news is that there is always going to be a Bonkers McNewKid in your child's class....they come in the male and female varieties and it doesn't stop when they start "big" school....both my children have stories about these maniacs. You tell a much better story than me so I won't even start!

And yes, I do blame the parents....physical stuff is NEVER acceptable - I am amazed when I see parents actually WATCHING their children push and shove other (often smaller) children IN FRONT OF THEM in the playground and they say NOTHING!!!!! UGH!!!!
Neither of my children are shy retiring violets but it still happens.

Sorry for the rant.....just wait til big school....can't wait for your blogs then!!!

On a happier note, congrats on your nomination....you've always got my vote....off to check it out :)

The Peach Tart said...

Congratulations. I'll go vote. As far as the maniac, hopefully if enough parents complain, the teacher and principal will have to do something.

Vodka Logic said...

Congrats on the nomination, I will most certainly vote for you!!

As for the Bonkers kid.. I think I have met him..in a previous life. Hope he makes it to HS.
xx

Crystalin Dunn said...

Holy Moly! I stopped over from SITS rollcall just to say hi, and couldn't pull myself away until I had read every post on this page. You blog IS ADDICTIVE! Oh, looks like you've already been given that award. Well written and funny; what a great read! Thanks for kickin my day off to a great start! Maybe McFutureInmate just needs a good morning kick off to his day...

mo.stoneskin said...

Sounds to me like Daddy is a maniac...

;)

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

LOL! We have a Bonkers McNewKid in our class. And, we have the same black eye!! Our Bonkers is always in the principal's office!

Tammy Howard said...

I voted.

See, the thing about nice... this kid IS a maniac. Calling him a nice young man is - well - a lie. And lying isn't nice. Name calling is not ok, but calling it like it is IS ok. This little dude needs to know that what he's doing is not cool and that kids (and their parents) do NOT like it.

With what little authority I actually have, I give you permission to come out of time out.

kys said...

I will be voting for you!

I hate it when my kiddos have to deal with brats like that. And it has happened a few times.

Ellie said...

I have four of these in one class. Argh.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Ah, I don't miss teaching 1-2 year olds AT ALL. I loved filling out the incident reports at the daycare where I worked. I always had to try really hard not to give away the culprit but lets face - we ALL knew who it was. There's always a McBitey in the class.

Hope time out was used well reflecting on your crime ;)

AmyK said...

The teacher knows Bonkers is a maniac. Walks like a duck. Quacks like a duck. Maniac. I used to work with a Mom whose son was Bonkers. Daycare told her that if he did not top biting he would be expelled. She had 2 weeks to correct the problem. She did. She was frantic. She and her Bonkers had serious discussions. Hope yours gets that threat too.

Mayhem and Moxie said...

There is a Bonkers McNewKid in every class isn't there? In my day, I think he had a much more colorful name than "maniac." Given the alternatives, maybe that descriptor isn't so bad. :)

-Francesca

Emily said...

Kids like that really drive me crazy and I have an impossible time liking their parents.
I'm heading over to vote now...

otherworldlyone said...

You guys are so much better at this parenting thing than I am... and the majority of people I know.

I call the other children "little assholes" and there's no telling what the kid repeats at school. So far they haven't complained...but I know what she repeats at home. Sigh. I have no self control.

The Savage said...

There's a reason some critters in nature eat their young.... Just sayin'.

You're pretty.

That One Mom said...

They say maniac on Spongebob. It can't possibly be a bad word.

Keith said...

I'll be sure to cast my vote for you. Great post. I hope this finds you doing well. Take care. Hope you're having a nice week so far.

Mrs Montoya said...

I think Bonkers must have some older siblings on the West Coast. He'll be diagnosed soon, don't fret. I'm off to vote for you. Good Luck!

vanilla said...

Teacher and principal for over three decades and I have to say, the ladies are right. There is a Bonkers in (nearly) every class.

You have my vote.

ellen abbott said...

Maniac isn't a name, it's a description. so, really, you didn't call the kid a name.

AnnQ said...

"Bonkers McNewKid" -- that's funny! :-)

CatLadyLarew said...

I recommend a doberman with sharp teeth to guard Bonkers McNewKid while he's in some serious time out!

jules said...

I can't believe Bonker's McDemonChild got you into timeout with your husband! That little rat! Great story though!

Nonflammable said...

Oh the joys of parenting. It really messes with them when the bully is a girl.

Maybe he will forget about telling the teacher his new word. He won't, of course.

Hollyrocks said...

I imagine that would be pretty tough to deal with as a parent. Kids will be kids, yes. But when YOUR kid is beating the crap out of MY kid, it's a problem. Lol, I don't even have kids but I can still picture myself being pissed over this type of thing.

Hyla said...

I cant stand it when my kids get picked on, brings out the mama bear!

Scrappy Girl said...

I really dislike dealing with kids like that...bummer. I want a time out! Can I take it in my craft room?

Kelly said...

Ah, we have one of those -- as evidenced by the scratches and wounds Bella comes home with everday. I love that the teachers try to keep it quiet while my kiddo yells, "Kah-son hit my head with a rock! He a bad boy!" So much for anonymity.

Too Many Hats said...

I say you gotta call them as you see them and maniac even sounds on the nice side.

Mala said...

I agree with above commentor, it wasn't name calling, it's an accurate, yet perhaps too kind, description. I have a feeling that if your child repeats that phrase at school his teacher will simply smile and nod in agreement (while thinking "Maniac? McShithead is an asshole!" - at least that's what I would do.)

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

So after the little "F" blunder a couple of weeks ago and now this MANIAC comment...I can almost guarantee that you and I are 2 peas in a pod. I can't tell you how many times MY mouth has gotten my kiddos to spill things that should just not come out....I think MANIAC is a Nice word!!!

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

I say you should give Bonkers McNewKid a good pinch when no one is looking. Wonder what the parents of this Mcdevil child are like...sure the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I'm heading over to vote for you my dear!

B.o.B. said...

Too funny. Ah the joys of parenting. (It's why I have a dog.)

Barbaloot said...

I rather like the image of a child being a whirling dervish...but I'm definitely glad said child isn't part of my life. Good luck with the maniac:)

Baby Mama said...

Oooh i really dislike bad school/daycare influences! Some little girl taught my baby how to say "ugly" as an insult! So I quickly banned that word from her vocabulary. Now any time I say ugly in any context shes all "mommy say ugly!!" like I just dropped an f bomb.
she also has other words that she has deemed as off limits. For instance, if I say "fine!" with a certain tone or "ay yay yay"... shes tattling on me! :-) I love this age.

Dumblond said...

I have been there with both of my kids. I hate having to censor myself in regards to brat kids in their class...and sometimes I just don't.

Summer said...

Reading this literally puts knots in my stomach....I want to take Bonkers and bend him over my knee and WAIL ON HIM!

Then...I'd move on to the parents.....idiots.....ugh....don't EVEN get me started!

Whew...gets me all fired up..haha

Kris said...

congrats on the nomination!

carissajaded said...

Bonkers does sound like a maniac.. though you put it much more nicely than I would have.

Alicia said...

maniac is a nice word! at least compared to the words i would have used for him!! just go up and bite the parents...maybe then they'll teach him that biting is wrong. just a thought....

Science Teacher Mommy said...

Bonker McNewkid is why I took some time off from teaching. I think he is cousins with Velcro Clingypants and Precious McSnotty.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer, Crazy Woman said...

Ah, yes. Bonkers McNewKid. One in every class. I think teachers should get hazard pay, or at least a cafeteria plan for afterschool wine purchases.

Tsquared417 said...

There's always one!!

JenJen said...

Ha! Two things
I'm wondering if tomorrow's post will be called:
Buttermilk Buscuits...you know to go along with your RunDMC and now Joy and Pain theme-o you got cookin'
2...isn't it fun when you put the fear of god in some kid that isn't your own? I think it's fun because, for me, it's been way too long since any of my "tones" work and I think, Score!

Susan Berlien (warmchocmilk) said...

Bonkers Mcnewkid rides my sons school bus. He enjoys spitting in my sons face and licking him. nice.
good luck to you!

Jen said...

THAT is a crazy child.

Kate said...

Oh dear that sounds sticky!

Kate x

carma said...

my son is 13 and I still find myself giving him an honest opinion about people - but then ending the sentence with "but I didn't say that." :D

Pricilla said...

Uhm, do Mr. and Mrs. McNewKid do nothing about their child's proclivities?

He obviously needs help.

Quest said...

I used to work at a toddler daycare center. Bonkers must have been there, too. And JennyMac-like moms would tell Bonkers when they pick up their kids: "don't do that!"

Then, they'd have a serious talk with the daycare peeps. Normal Normal Normal get-through-parenting pain. Hurts. I see that too.

Postman said...

Marvy. Just how WOULD you go about explaining that one away? "Babykins, in this world, there are good maniacs, and there are bad maniacs"? I could take various tacks here, about how 'maniac' doesn't necessarily have a negative connotation and all that, but all of them just sound hollow when typed. Quite a quandary Bonkers McNewKid got you into. Good luck...

Slamdunk said...

I voted for you (check's in the mail I'll assume)...

Liz said...

HAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I am not laughing AT YOU, you see. I am laughing WITH you (what do you mean you're not laughing right now?), because that IS SO something I would do.

Marcy said...

I gotta tell you...i do enjoy reading the blog everyday! it has become my little lunchtime indulgence. A big thank you to you for sharing your writing talent with the rest of us!

Charisse and Holly said...

I think in that situation Maniac is actually a pretty nice term. My guess is that Maniac's mom will probably not take to kindly to firm discipline in school. I was a preschool teacher many moons ago and it was the parents of the nightmare children that felt time out was too harsh. COME ON PEOPLE! Cheers, Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

Country Gone City said...

As a former teacher... I will confirm... Xanax is a friend of mine ; )... every class has its own "Bonkers McNewKid".

Dutch donut girl said...

Bwhahahaaaa, Bonkers McNewKid? What a mouthful :) I hope the time out allowed you to take some time to sit and think about the mistake that you made. Haha, too funny.

ladytruth said...

I knew a Bonkers back in the day. Turns out Bonkers was so bonkers because his mommy and daddy didn't love him all that much and never gave him the attention he so craved and thus he lashed out by being bonkers to every kid and person he could find.

Matthew said...

The looks and insinuations. I remember those very well as they flew above our kid's head all those years back.

Nicely done JennyMac - this brought a smile and a nod, not to mention those memories flooding back.

Mira is triplet crown said...

Oh I know that kind of kid already. Although I'm impressed he was tamed by you because most of the early homicidal maniacs aren't scared of anyone's parents. They just stare you down if you tell them not to do something. How do you raise a kid like that? And what is that about the staff not being allowed to tell you who bit your kid? Excuse me?

Ju said...

I just voted for you Jenny Mac. Good luck.
I wondered how Bonker's mum and dad are like...
Scary boy.

Bunny, The Paris House said...

Oh my this is a difficult one...I really can't stand kids like this because mine are just so perfect :) but seriously I feel bad the parents are most likely to blame, no?? I really don't know how teachers do it????? ( my kids are almost 16, almost 13 and 4 and there is always something to deal with, it just gets easier because you get more use to it)

blueviolet said...

I think the teacher couldn't help but laugh if he said that at school!

Jules said...

His classmate is also why some teachers drink.....

jeannie said...

oh wow, what a crazy kid~!! He would drive me nuts!

Leah Rubin said...

Sooner or later Bonkers is going to get bitten or scratched by another kid-- oh wait-- then his parents will sue the parents, the school, the city council, the members of the school board, the local Jaycees, the Chamber of Commerce, and the Welcome Wagon.
Good luck!

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

I really think that Viva the Diva has the potential to be Bonkers McNewKid. But like you, I have been there - the parent of the kid who bit my daughter and it sucks big time. But the more I interact with other parents and their kids and see children play, I just realize that some kids will continually test limits and act out, and it's not always just because they're bad or that their parents aren't good parents. I'm reading "How to deal with your spirited child," and it's helping me see things in a whole new way. Anyway, I hope minimac has a scratch-free day tomorrow!

conquer The Monkey said...

Bonkers sounds a bit.....overwhelming!

Chief said...

whaoo, you passed through NETNanny with flying colors! I am on the family computer and it is killing me! Good thing I have this wholesomness to keep me going! ~wink~

Lauren said...

Bonkers needs more than just a time out! We just pulled our 4yo out of school due to some tiny tot bullying. I also blame the parents...some people just should not be allowed to procreate!

Geez Louise♥ said...

Bahaa. I just snorted...a little. I hope MiniMac survives Maniac. Just so happens, Hubbs sat in time out tonight for saying piss. Little Man told him and I quote..."Daddy, (with finger pointed) You cant say PISS! Don't say it again or you will go in time out, okay?"
I love when you get scolded by children.

DeNae said...

So, my sister's kid had a Bonkers in his class, and earlier this year, THE KID GOT ARRESTED!!

We're talking a 5th grader, hauled out of the principal's office in HANDCUFFS!!

(You can savor that beautiful image while you do your bid in time out.)

Dustjacket Attic said...

Gosh it's a lesson in self control having kids around so you cannot say he's such a *#*@ little @#$%&*!
xxx

Pop and Ice said...

Oh, come on. It will be the highlight of some teacher's day to hear an honest rendering of this freakish kid's behavior.

And you should never let your hubby put you in time out unless it's part of a game and rewards ensue!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

"Daddy: Mommy meant Bonkers is a nice boy. Mommy needs to go to time out."

Whoa. That's, umm, well, err, gee.

Kudos to you for not losing your mind and whipping out a pistol.

Unknown Mami said...

Well, Bonkers IS a Maniac.

Tiffany and the Munchkins said...

I think there is one in every class. I can't count the number of times my baby brother, who I helped raise, came home with a new bruise, scratch, bump, or bite mark.

Angie S said...

Maniac...HA! that's better than what he could be called..heehee.

Amanda said...

A) I LOVE THIS POST. Love the narrative, and am totally with you every step of the way.

B) Good luck with Bonkers (who's name, by the way, I LOVE).

C) This would SOOOOO not have gone down that peacefully in my house. Mommy has issues with accusing looks from Daddy, and Mommy and Daddy have serious communication work to do lately lol . . .

smile steady said...

LOL, just the name Bonkers McNewKid gave me the perfect visual!