Jury Duty...or "How I spent all day yesterday" or even better, and what it will now and forever be known as: Jury DOODIE.
Yesterday am, we have a mother of all storms. Thunder barreling beginning around 3 am which is when I awoke. No sleep makes for a pretty face. PERFECT for Jury Doodie.
Ooops...we have no power. Hmmm. The garage door I can manually open. Gates to our entire neighborhood? Took some more work. Luckily, someone else who had to be somewhere or face the threat of warrant had pried one open. Our neighborhood
And I am a salty Mamalita because I have MANY things to do on Monday none of which included Jury Duty.
You can't park downtown so you drive to Turner Field and get on a bus that looks like it just drove straight from Shawshank Redemption. Oh, and get ready to pack it in. Apparently the bus only wants to make one trip despite hundreds of people standing in the parking lot. Oh yes, I did want to rub up on your business this am. Oh, I detect you had garlic in your breakfast burrito. I never knew what a pig farm smelled like. They must use this same bus to haul animals when not busy going to and fro the Federal Building.
Luckily, I was one of the last on. Which provides the benefit of being one of the first OFF. And I absolutely will jaywalk in the hellacious rain coming down despite police officers everywhere because I can't loiter outside hoping Noah comes to give me a lift.
First one in the door makes me one of the first to security. Why the strip search level of disrobing? Who is coming in here for jury duty packing a gat? I clear, finally, after my laptop gets the 10 minute look over, off I go upstairs. Why is it important to be amongst the first in? I didn't know until I got in the large
But then I decided to shake that sour face because guess what I can do? I can blog! For HOURS. And read the dozen newspapers I like. At least an hour or two of uninterrupted blogging? And reading? Are you serious? Ok...maybe I can be a bit more grateful for civic responsibilities.
Most people here are completely normal. Every day people who all would love to be given the opportunity to serve civic duty in other means. However, if you are even slightly surly, you better check your comments and your sassy ass at the door because the dames who runs this joint are not playing with you. I did see one kid with his pants down below his boxers. Straighten up clown. Oh, and have fun getting taken to task by a judge for your pants hanging off your arse.
There are forms, and forms, and forms. They called names all morning but here I found myself still sitting. And maybe my tummy gave a little growl because with no power, I could not make my protein shake for breakfast. SmartyMac brought an apple. Shazam! Vending machines make me ill. Not that I have anything against the 8 month old Honey Bun.. but...well, I guess I do.
But then they announced that the remaining red badges would be dismissed. I got quite pleased since this room went from hundreds to about 25 and there wasn't enough of us left to matter, right? Another announcement coming...I packed my gear.
Black and white badges may take a short lunch break and return promptly at one. I KNEW I wanted a red badge when I got here. UGH.
Jury selection (voir dire) is not painful but most attorneys do not want other attorneys on the jury. But should I need to wait for 7 hours to find out something we could have agreed upon at 8:01 am? Apparently.
I finally take a restroom break and shudder upon entering a bathroom in which I have never seen so much water. All over the counters and the floors. Did you wash a jackal in here? What the @&*!^(*&^!. Why is every single surface wet? And not in a pine-sol fresh kind of way either?
After many more hours pass (like3) do I receive word that I am no longer needed and am free to go. Excellent.
Free to walk back to my car 2 miles away? In the torrential rain? Oh no. Prison bus is on its way to fetch me. All that to uphold civic responsibility. And of course...the $25 dollars I earned for 7 hours of civic work will by me a bottle of wine. Which leads me back to my original question, which wine goes best with Jury Duty? I mean, besides ALL of it.