I have laughed so hard this week being at home with family and friends. And the 20 year reunion was fantastic. More on that to come....
And being home always includes reminders of shenanigans from yesteryear. Like the following:
One morning, driving to my high school, all prissed up in my cheerleading uniform, I got pulled over. In front of the school. I saw those lights coming and assumed they could not possibly be for me. My Father was a Police Lt. so I thought this fact both absconded me from trouble, at the same time teaching me the art of not pushing the wrong envelope.
This Officer pulled me over and proceeded to my window to chat with me about my driving. He also proceeded to write me a ticket for driving 26 mph in a 25 mph zone. WOW. You are a big _______ _______. After he gave me the ticket, I asked in my syrupy cheerleader voice if he did not, in fact, know my Father. He looked at my license and said, "Oh, yeah...you're ____'s kid. I see that now."
NOW? And not when you were writing my name down on the ticket? It is not as if I was Penny PlainName. Did you also notice the resemblance? Shouldn't the fact I inherited my Father's nose pay off some dividend? I probably made a little scowl at this point. I asked if he had to give me the ticket.
He said, "Well, I do now since I already wrote it."
Believe me, this was LONG before dash-cams. One little ripped up ticket would have caused no harm. So I take my ticket, and my sassy ass, and stomp away in my little red and white saddle shoes.
That night, my Father calls me.
Him: How was your day?
Him: Anything unusual happen?
Me: Ummmm. No.
Him: Really? Are you certain?
Me: OH! I ate tater tots at school. Yuck. You know I don't normally eat tater tots.
Him: I am NOT talking about G.D. tater tots! Officer X called me and told me he cited you for speeding.
Me: Hmmmm. Right. That.
As I am quickly devising a plan/alibi/route of escape.
Me: Correct. He did write me a ticket. I almost forgot. Did he tell you he wrote the ticket for one mile over the speed limit?
Him: You have got to be sh*tting me!?!?!?!?!?!
Me: Would I kid you, Dad?
Believe me, only the d-baggery of the Officer got me off the hook. However:
Him: Don't do that again.
Me: What? Go one mile over?
Him: NO SMART ASS. Don't lobby my name to get yourself out of trouble.
Me: I will take that under advisement.
I wanted my Dad to get me out of the ticket. DENIED. The judge however thought it was RIDICULOUS and threw it out of court.
Total BRAT. That is why I used it for the title of the post. And not "Perfect Daughter."