Thursday, September 3, 2009

Brat

I have laughed so hard this week being at home with family and friends. And the 20 year reunion was fantastic. More on that to come....

And being home always includes reminders of shenanigans from yesteryear. Like the following:

One morning, driving to my high school, all prissed up in my cheerleading uniform, I got pulled over. In front of the school. I saw those lights coming and assumed they could not possibly be for me. My Father was a Police Lt. so I thought this fact both absconded me from trouble, at the same time teaching me the art of not pushing the wrong envelope.

This Officer pulled me over and proceeded to my window to chat with me about my driving. He also proceeded to write me a ticket for driving 26 mph in a 25 mph zone. WOW. You are a big _______ _______. After he gave me the ticket, I asked in my syrupy cheerleader voice if he did not, in fact, know my Father. He looked at my license and said, "Oh, yeah...you're ____'s kid. I see that now."

NOW? And not when you were writing my name down on the ticket? It is not as if I was Penny PlainName. Did you also notice the resemblance? Shouldn't the fact I inherited my Father's nose pay off some dividend? I probably made a little scowl at this point. I asked if he had to give me the ticket.

He said, "Well, I do now since I already wrote it."

Believe me, this was LONG before dash-cams. One little ripped up ticket would have caused no harm. So I take my ticket, and my sassy ass, and stomp away in my little red and white saddle shoes.

That night, my Father calls me.

Him: How was your day?
Me: Fine
Him: Anything unusual happen?
Me: Ummmm. No.
Him: Really? Are you certain?
Me: OH! I ate tater tots at school. Yuck. You know I don't normally eat tater tots.
Him: I am NOT talking about G.D. tater tots! Officer X called me and told me he cited you for speeding.
Me: Hmmmm. Right. That.

As I am quickly devising a plan/alibi/route of escape.

Me: Correct. He did write me a ticket. I almost forgot. Did he tell you he wrote the ticket for one mile over the speed limit?

Silence

Him: You have got to be sh*tting me!?!?!?!?!?!
Me: Would I kid you, Dad?

Believe me, only the d-baggery of the Officer got me off the hook. However:

Him: Don't do that again.
Me: What? Go one mile over?
Him: NO SMART ASS. Don't lobby my name to get yourself out of trouble.
Me: I will take that under advisement.

I wanted my Dad to get me out of the ticket. DENIED. The judge however thought it was RIDICULOUS and threw it out of court.

Total BRAT. That is why I used it for the title of the post. And not "Perfect Daughter."

102 comments:

Ju said...

That's what dads are for surely?
Hehehe.

mo.stoneskin said...

One mile over is insane. Over here the unwritten rule is anything up to 4.9999999 over is fine. Or maybe it is just me who has that rule.

Alicia said...

ughhhh i hate when police officers do that. i got a citation for having tinted windows and the officer tried telling me that they're cracking down on that because its 'what the citizens are concerned about'. uh huh. really? they stay awake at night stressing about my tinted windows? right. thanks d-bag.

the walking man said...

"Shes got legs, she knows how to use them.
She never begs, she knows how to choose them."
ZZ Top


Uhhh I am pretty certain he did not approach the vehicle with his hand on or the gun drawn so in the course of things I don't think he profiled you for being a cheerleader.


Glad your travels were safely accomplished and welcome home.

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh JM that was a tough! Great that you have laughed yourself silly though, way to go. Will be looking forward to your reunion post.
xoxo

Deboshree said...

Hehe..that was bratty!
But what the hell!Whenever I read your posts, I feel that you live life to the fullllll..that's what always makes your posts damn interesting.

Cheers
Deboshree

Deboshree said...

Hehe..that was bratty!
But what the hell!Whenever I read your posts, I feel that you live life to the fullllll..that's what always makes your posts damn interesting.

Cheers
Deboshree

My name is PJ. said...

...Or maybe even "Perfect Brat" or "Total Daughter".....

Who among us normal thinking teenagers would not have at least thrown it out there, hoping it would stick?

It's a series of short stories I see coming...all bound in one book...that I'm waiting to buy...

word verification: sught
(They've gotta be screwing with us, or at least me.)

Nora Johnson said...

One of those life experiences you NEVER forget! I had a similar one at the age of three but I won't go into that particular one now ... :)

xxx LOLA:)

♥ Braja said...

Yep, I need a cocktail....:)))

ladytruth said...

I'm almost certain some police officers were scarred growing up and now take revenge on civilians by nailing them around every corner. You're lucky he didn't write you a ticket for your windscreen not being licky-clean as it may impair your vision. No wonder I don't take the police serious around here.

Jules said...

ONE mile over?! What an ass of a cop!!! Glad the judge thought that. However, the judge was also probably pissed it took up his court time!

The Savage said...

Cute AND Sassy should have been the title....

Mommy Mac said...

You and your sassy ass.

.mac :)

Hit 40 said...

One mile over the limit??? You must have grown up in my town!! During the spring, the city is looking for some serious cash to buy mulch. They can deny it all they want....

but I know they want some $$ for spring landscaping bills. They pull in more money than any other local suburb ticketing people. (I do love our police dept. Quick response time for us)

Momma G.Love said...

My friend's dad is police officer and he would always get us out of tickets from the blankety blank cops he worked with. I think it's insane they wrote you a ticket for one mile over the speed limit. Who does that?

Steph @ Stick It in the Fridge

pleasestickitinthefridge.blogspot.com

Christina Lee said...

Oh good one! That sounds like straight out of a teen show or book-haha!

Tammy Howard said...

Fun post, even though I don't normally eat tater tots...

Honestly, what is it with the power trips?

Glad to see you back, BTW!

Lee said...

That's a great story! sounds like something I would do too!! Glad you had a great time with the fam.

Shop Girl* said...

Are you freaking KIDDING ME? One mile over? I've nevvvver heard of anything like that before--what a joke! I'm glad the judge thought it was ridiculous too.

The Peach Tart said...

One mile over ridiculous. Glad you're enjoying your visit.

Georgina said...

LOL - Oh the the things that never change. I didn't shy away from dropping my Dad's name in the right company if I thought it would get me somewhere. After all, that "My daughter is on the honor-roll" bumpersticker that gave him some good parenting brownie-points, should have at least had a pay-off for me.
One Sassy Girl told me that you wrote a funny post on Beavers and that I just had to read it. Can you point me in the right direction on your blog so I can find it? Cheers - Georgina (www.oholivejuice.blogspot.com)

hiking in stilettos said...

This one hits close to home... I tried this once, too. Only mine was more like "Really, officer? I didn't realize "XYZ" was true. My brother, the state trooper, never told me so." Um, yeah. Still got the ticket. For the TINT on a MINI COOPER!!!!~

S Club Mama said...

I'm sure your nose is beautiful. ;) I'd be ticked for a ticket like that, too.

Kristina P. said...

I wondered if it would be thrown out. WTF was that guy doing?

Lisa said...

I laughed my butt straight off!

Southern Champagne Wishes said...

Laughing and can totally picture this! Sometimes certain situations require a little sass and I do believe this was one of them - 1 mile over? Unbelievable!

Glamour Girl said...

You should have pulled the ultimate line, "Do you KNOW who I am????"

People in authority always love this line. hee hee!

Vodka Logic said...

I am in no position to talk about driving offenses I had to go to drivers retraining last summer... no fun
xx

Jamie said...

Wait... that isn't what daddies are for?!
bwahaha ;)

Scrappy Girl said...

I would have totally done the same thing...my dad runs a wrecker service and knows all the cops in the small town.

Intense Guy said...

I can't remember the last time the dount munchers in these parts actually enforced the law...

Maybe we could draft Daddymac and clean out the dead woods sucking up the tax dollars.

Sally-Sal said...

You should've framed it ;)

Badass Geek said...

And they say there isn't any such thing like quotas.

La La La Leah said...

Crazy times.... I got a ticket for going 20 over.... I couldn't fight it.... Oh well live and learn. Hub bought a car several years ago from some guy and he was driving it home and got pulled over for something dumb he got smart and got in all kinds of trouble and ended up in jail for a few hours....... because he had an outstanding ticket in another city and blah blah blah I am glad I did not know him then. lol

mikeg said...

hey sassy ass danica patrick ,

Can I be the drummer in 'walking man's' ZZ Top band?

Emily said...

Hilarious! I actually got a ticket while in labor enroute to the hospital. Yes, I was driving myself and was alone in the car. Stupid cop...I think I will be bitter about that one forever!

B.o.B. said...

Love your dad. That is the exact same thing mine would have done. Stupid jack-a$$ cop. 1 mile? Really? He probably just like your uniform.

McVal said...

LOL! Did you learn a lesson about speeding?

New England Girl said...

Hah, what a jerk!!! One mile over?! That is insane and so uncalled for... but, hey, sometimes it happens and the result is a funny story as this one is. :) I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of you pouting and stomping away. Or the conversation between you and your Dad! Hilarious. :)

DebraLSchubert said...

OMG - I was a cheerleader and had those exact same red and white saddle shoes! And sassy? Um, hell yeah!!! I really can't believe anyone would write a ticket for one mile over the speed limit. What was that about?

darsden said...

OMGosh..a whole life lesson learned in red/white saddle shoes. But, that was a big turd to write you up for one mile over he could have given you a warning ..but I think he was jealous of "who" your daddy was...something he will never be! That's why he wrote it up..to stick it to your dad...not you!

Mira said...

Funny story. My dad never did any job that helped me out in any way. But we all try to get our parents to get us out of shit. Sometimes it works or we wouldn't try, right? You turned out fine it seems!

Chief said...

I am the master of getting out of tickets. I think it's great that your dad didn't allow you to name drop!

Yankee Girl said...

My dad isn't a cop but he got me out of trouble so many times simply because he is big and scary. I love that he thought I was an angel!

The last time I was pulled over a cop tried to give me a ticket for stopping too long. He said I made him wait longer than the requisite 3 seconds and he wrote me a ticket. When we got to court the judge yelled at the cop for wasting his time.

Little Ms Blogger said...

One mile over the limit????? What a power-hungry idiot to write a ticket for that.

It was either that or he wanted to check out a girl in a cheerleader's outfit..

Thinking the latter.

Lisa Anne said...

LOL I would ahve done the same thing. I usually use the excuse i'm on my way to a family emergency to get out of my tickets. Not like I get many tickets though. lol

Tarable said...

Once when I got pulled over for speeding in my Pinto, the cop asked why I was driving so fast...

I said: My ice cream is melting so I need to get it home to put it in the freezer.

He said: It's melting because you're making your car overheat from driving this fast...

And then I got my ticket and went home.

Char said...

lol - yeah, that would have pissed the court off here too.

but let's not talk badly about ALL police officers, since my brother is one and all that.

KC said...

Cop with a cheerleader fetish - that sounds about right.

Herb of Grace said...

Yeah, dads are a double edged sword. My dad actually called the cops one night when I ran my car off the road and hit the guy wire on a telephone pole. NO harm was done to any state property and we could have just driven home with no one any the wiser, but noo-oooo. He had to "report the incident" :P

Green-Eyed Momster said...

You're so cute! The title of my post would have been D!CK for him giving you a ticket for going 26 in a 25? That's so not cool!

So glad it was thrown out of court!


Hugs!!

Jen said...

you gotta use what ever you can to get out of these tickets.

otherworldlyone said...

I was the same way.

We live in a small town and when I was in high school my Grandpa contributed a lot of money to the police force. I was always getting out of tickets because of my last name. It was brilliant. Unless they had a new guy that didn't know the "let this chick go" rule. Then I had to be all, "Don't you know who I am?"

I'm not so cuntastic anymore. Now I just show um' meh boobs!

Pricilla said...

One would suppose he knew EXACTLY who you were....

Deborah Godin said...

Personally, I think it should be 9.9999 over. I've skated with plus8once or twice. Anyway, don't ever lose the 'tude!

sarah m said...

Oh my gosh, you always crack me up. Love this.

AmyK said...

I don't think that was being a Brat. It was trying to give that officer a chance not to be an idiot. One mile over... goodness. When I was in HS, the new young guns would pull over girls to get phone #s.

Eva Gallant said...

One mile! and I thought it was bad when I got a ticket for driving 43 in a 35 zone!

Stephanie Faris said...

Good for your dad. I always wondered about these officers who got their kids and their friends out of tickets. What does that teach the child? But one mile over? That's ridiculous. I hope that officer was reprimanded for that.

Em x said...

That story mad me laugh so much, i would have done the exact same! x

Life, Love And Lola said...

This so sounds like something I would do! Glad the judge thru it out...One mile over!!! That's catshit!

Slamdunk said...

If you were not the recipient, that one mph over ticket would be suitable for framing--I have never seen one like it.

Judges where I worked did not want to see any speeing citation that was not at least 10 mph over. Anything less, earned the officer public humiliation in the courtroom from the judge, and an uncomfortable lecture from his/her supervisor.

Constructive Attitude said...

Omg!!! How can you HATE TATER TOTS! please tell me you were just making that up.

And I cant believe that idiotic cop did that for one freaking mile.

Simply Mel said...

My dad was a fire chief for 30+ years in the town I grew up in, and, of course, he also knew all the highway patrol guys. Needless to say, I seemed to always have accidents when he was on duty and would arrive in his spiffy uniform - this lucky BRAT always got off the hook!

Oh yes, men in uniforms are the best!

Mr. Charleston said...

Same thing happened to my daughter, only she dropped my name and got arrested.

Leah Rubin said...

I love your dad for telling you not to trade on his position! Good job, Dad-- no wonder the daughter turned out so well!

I also love the judge for seeing how absurd the ticket was. The cop probably just saw a cute girl and wanted to chat her up!

Lisa and Laura said...

I'm thinking that d-bag just wanted to get a good look at you in your cheerleading uniform. Just sayin'...

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Don't you just love those fun memories that everyone talks about like you weren't the one in them!

But daddy! ... LOL One mile over is a bit overkill!

foxy said...

WELL... a ticket for ONE MILE OVER is more than a little BS. I mean, COME ON!

The first time I got pulled over, I cried and cried and when the officer found out that my dad was the fire chief, he was all, "oh, go on then." So, I tried to use that again later and my dad was seriously pissed. I was read the riot act too. We were all a little bratty as kids though, weren't we?!

Cheers baby!

Pink Links said...

You really are The Perfect Daughter.

And your father is The Perfect Father.

Your great story made me laugh.

Have the perfect weekend :)

foxy said...

And yeah, WTF about hating on tater tots? I didn't know it was possible for someone NOT to love the goodness that is tater tots.

Jeney said...

I *hate* ass-faced traffic cops.

I *love* tater tots.

I wish my dad was cool like yours.

:-)

Madame DeFarge said...

One mile sounds like he was making up his quota of tickets. I'd have liked my dad to look after me if he was in that position, but I suspect a lesson was being taught. Dads are contrary that way.

Bloggin Betty said...

This post just makes me pissed at the world! Cheerleaders and Cops, all in one paragraph...

Domestic Diva said...

Super Cute... glad you had a great time.
Have a fabulous Labor Day weekend!!!
xxxx me

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Thank goodness you had a reasonable judge. Now, about that officer . . . maybe had had an axe to grind with your Dad? Because citing you for going one mile over is a bit much.

Andi said...

Hilarious! I can't believe he gave yo a ticket for one mile over - frickin ridiculous!

stepfabulous said...

LOL - I have to say I hear you there. My mother was Chief of Dectives but was both a Lt. and an officer. However, she would be the first in line to give me "her perfect cheerleader daughter" a fat butt ticket! LOL

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Wow, and I thought it was rude to give me a ticket for doing 85 in a 55 when I was in high school. That was pretty crappy!

Unknown Mami said...

1 mile! What was he trying to prove?

norbert_up_marketing said...

What a bad day! Well you know if dads are like that and so are the officers...not all. Next time, slow down.

Kathy B! said...

Awww... that what dad's are for. Even if they get a little cranky :)

ANd does your dad's magic work in NC?!

sheila said...

Awesome, lol! We have something in common! My dad was a sgt. lol. He had to come get me once for drag racing. lol

carma said...

I am still smarting from my recent traffic citation. One mile over the limit is completely nuts though. If only I had been going one mile over :D

Unfortunately I did not have any police relations - not THOSE kind of relations - although, would that have gotten me out of the ticket...hmmmm...

Janet said...

My grandpa was sheriff, so I can totally relate. What a jerk that officer was!

Grand Pooba said...

Seriously? A ticket for one mile over? Is that even legal? lol

The Mathster said...

Well. My goodness as we say in the south! My Uncle Ralph was a policeman too and I would have tried that if I could. Oh well probably wouldn't have worked. Hey, I got your Give Good Blog Award for Tater Tot Mom...heehee. Too funny. I am really honored. Your blog!!! How in the world did you get such good traffic girl? Your stuff is good. Anything else you can share? Thanks.
Sandra
www.tinyurl.com/realsmart

Maureen said...

Oh that's ridiculous.... hubby once was pulled over for 5 Km over the speed limit. Judge threw THAT out too. Some officers just are on an ego trip.

Gauche said...

see, this is why you have to make nice with the whole department. My neighbor when I was younger was a cop and loved me and my sister to death. he was that cool cop that was really laid back...brought us illegal fireworks and warned us on how to NOT get killed using them...the cops in the area would always hang out at his place. We had them over for BBQs and holidays and such....never once got a ticket in that town.

Christine said...

Love it...SMART ASS:) I've gotten a ticket that was absolutely absurd, too. I really really wish I had taken the "not guilty" stance and fought it in court. It took three flipping years to get that off my record. Supposedly I didn't come to a dead-complete stop at a stop sign, before turning right. No cars in sight(including the hidden p-car) and late at night. I know I stopped for a second. Anywho...The letter I got from the D.O.T. basically said that running (are you kidding me?) a red light is dangerous and they hope from now on I will obey the law. Pfffffbbbtt(my version of raspberry)
Oh, but I'm over it.
AND, the cop that ticketed me was fired a week later. I so should have fought that.
But, really, I'm over it.

Cassandra Rae {Simply Fearless} said...

great story! I wish I had your dad when I was growing up :~)

this is my 1st time here & I love your blog!

S3XinthePantry said...

I HEART your dad. But so glad the judge saw reason.

THere was a road near my HS where everyone zoomed - if caught going no matter how fast it was tradition that the police officers would simply write a ticket for going 5 miles over. They wrote the ticket, gave a warning, came out looking like good guys because everyone went way more than 5mph over.

My boss however was going 5mph over and got written up for going 5mph over! IT did feel slightly unfair!

Cookie said...

Wow! Really 1 mile over the speed limit?! That is crazy! Glad the judge threw it out!

Vivienne said...

Hysterical. The line about the nose should pay off for something? Hysterical. Officer X sure was a douche. One mile over AND telling your dad, etc. What a tool.

blueviolet said...

Shoot, one mile over? What a ridiculous waste of paper, energy, and court time!

Amanda @ Bits and Pieces said...

Thanks for visiting my blog- The Royal Arch trail was great!!

I have to laugh at this post because my Dad is also a police officer and always told my brother and I we better say "My Dad is a police officer," if we ever got pulled over to help get out of the ticket- he didn't want insurance to go up and we'd be in even bigger trouble if we didn't say it!

janna said...

I remember that! I guess the officer did not realize that we were untouchable! I forgot about those cheer shoes, they were something else!

Living on the Spit said...

You and I are cut from a similar bratty stone...I was the SAME way.

Haven and Home said...

Freaking hilarious!!!!

Quest said...

Perfect Brat! With style and glory and a cocktail to go with that! :-)

Peace,
Q

Serious Replies Only said...

One. mile.