Pants on fire

I read an article last week on Forbes.com regarding 10 signs someone is lying to you. This list included intel from former CIA agents, police officers, and interrogators. The list included things you may not already know such as: look for dilated pupils and a higher pitch of voice. Both signs of stress more common in liars than non-liars. And watch out for people who use the phrase "to be honest" since most people assume they will be trusted and people who have to clarify their honesty might be lying. The list also included things I think are quite obvious like: watch body language for fidgeting and sweating, both signs of nervousness. And, people who avoid eye contact when telling you a story are doing so for a reason.

I am confident in the ten magical components of my personal formula used to determine honesty or lack thereof. Here is the breakdown of that formula. Feel free to borrow anyone at Forbes.com. 

1. First, my Father's favorite: Lying by omission. It is not what you are saying, but what you are not saying. For example. When your Father asks you " How was your day?" And you answer "Well, it started with a great breakfast. And now, I am back home with my loving family." And yet you leave out a critical portion like "I accidentally touched the garage door with the car." That is lying by omission. This is the lying that takes place when you know there is more to the story, but it is not being dished up. Glad it was pointed out to me so young. This knowledge served me well in law school.  

2. When someone clearly hears your question and yet repeats it back to you, they are buying time. Beware. The sentences that follow the reiteration of your question are likely to be untrue. For example:

Girl: What time did you get home last night

Boy: What time did I get home last night? (Buying time) Ummmm, I am pretty sure it was a little after 2 am (And by a little you mean four hours.)

Repeat for other common questions some young men and women ask one another like: Who was that on the phone? Who was that person I saw you with? Why didn't you answer my call at midnight?

3. When someone can not keep their story straight and the details change every time the story is told. Also known as: Why is the crap you are telling me now not match the crap you told me yesterday. Or the day before.  It should be a direct recollection from memory, not creative writing. For example:

When your child tells you how they got a speeding ticket and it starts out "I was framed" morphs to "I was rushing a friend to the hospital" and ends up "I was involved in a drag race."

4. When you watch a person's face and not only do they avoid eye contact, but they make crazy eyes. And we all know at least one person with the crazy eyes.

5. When you ask for details and there are none available.  I once asked one of my direct reports how close we were on finishing this significant quarter end report. She said, "Very close." I asked how many pages were in the report so far. Her answer was "I am not sure. But I think a lot." Can I make a quick review of it? "My computer crashed." As she sits at her computer that looked fully operable.

6. When the person makes a statement like: "It depends on what the meaning of is is." Same rule applies to anyone who says "I can see Russia from my house." 

7. When someone says, "For a small investment, you will make millions of dollars."

8. At least 50% of the time when someone says, "Oh, I never got that email."

9. When the details are so outlandish, you almost think you are talking to Tommy Flanagan or Penelope from Saturday Night Live. We had a neighbor like this. In fact, I am going to have to write an entire post about him.

10. When you see their pants. On fire. Wouldn't this be awesome if it happened? Not for the necessary white lies like "This cake is delicious!" but only the real zingers. I would like to see that on Forbes.com as well.