Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Evolution of the Crush

While at the beach, a darling 7 year old boy invited me to go play volleyball with him. He was adorable. Maybe it was because I was demonstrating stellar volleyball skills in the pool. Or, as his Mom put it, he likes older women. He was one of a set of triplets. All going to be heartbreakers one day. And at the rate our son is going, kissing a picture of Scarlett Johannsen in my Vogue, in a few more years he will be inviting an older woman he meets at the pool to play volleyball too.

Remember your first crush? My first crush happened in about 4th grade. My older brother had a friend I found to be perfectly dreamy. That crush lasted until I was about 15. I did what all poised young ladies do: acted like a total buffoon everytime he was near. I told my older brother once, " I bet he wants to marry me." To which my brother responded, " I think he would rather hold your face underwater for a long, long time."

Around that same era, I developed a crush on a friend of our family and every time he would come over, I would flee in the other direction, likely wretching and carrying on to the point he asked me one day, point blank, "Do you think I have boy germs or something?" I was frozen in time. Why is he talking to me? My parents laughed uproariously and then promptly nicknamed him BoyGerms and mocked me for at least five years if not longer. 

My first year of high school I developed a huge crush on a boy two years older, Boots. Maybe crush is an understatement, more like a suffocation. I think it was no secret from any of my friends or him. He went on Spring Break and brought me a present back. Again, I was frozen in time. And then thought, I knew it!!!! Kisses are on their way! Not quite, but once my older brother gave me a charley horse after I was not listening to a single thing he said because I was super busy writing my name  as Mrs. Jenny Boots. My brother also implored "Try not to be so *&$#^*! OBVIOUS!" What? Telling a 15 year old girl how to manage her hormonal fascinations and fluctuations? He would have been more successful getting me to go to school wearing leg warmers made from scrambled eggs. 

In law school, I had a crush on one of our professors. I had told not a soul except my BFF MarciaGarcia. Likely because she would only intermittently mock me for it but  allegedly, she also had a crush on another law professor. It was rarely discussed as fraternizing between professors and law students was uber-taboo. Not because we were puritans but because a few professors and one Dean were up the infamous creek a la sh*t from previous transgressions years before.

A few years after I moved to Atlanta, through some connections, I was invited to a concert at the hottest country bar in the state. Prior to the concert was a private Meet & Greet with the performer, a male country singer.  I like multiple genres of music and while I was unfamiliar with this artist, I thought it sounded fun. The minute I laid eyes on Mr. X, outside I said, "WOW" but inside I said, "MEEEEEEEOW." Later, I was pulled aside and told "Mr. X asked me who you were." I tried to cover my intense desire to do some high kicks with my Smirky McSmug face like, "He did?" and instead asked, "What did you say?"

His response: I told him you were my girlfriend.
My response: Really? 
His response: Jennifer, you are my girlfriend. 
Me: I KNOW but remember when I stated you had a free pass with the lead singer from Trick Pony? I meant it!

Not exactly precious moments. But really, we weren't that serious. And we laughed about it many times afterward.

And now that I am happily married, I reserve my crushes for non-legitimate outlets. Like Mark Ruffalo. Or McDreamy. And maybe I will partially admit I was fine with watching Dear John because of the dirty-sexy combination of Channing Tatum

But the best crushes are starting out with our little man. Who not only adores Scarlett (and she is a fine choice but  I see him trending always toward the blondes and have no problem reminding him brunettes are fabulous too) but Mini got asked to dance one night at the beach by a girl four years his senior. And once he said yes, his smile couldn't be shifted off his face for that entire song. Watching him smile like that reminded me exactly how the evolution of the crush works.

And of course, she was blond. 


____

PS: Blogger is still intoxicated from the holiday weekend. There has been difficulty posting comments since Saturday and some comments will not post today. AND at one point I was locked out completely. If there is no post tomorrow, you will know it is because I am going to ask Blogger to step outside for a duel. 

53 comments:

My name is PJ. said...

If you're female and you're being honest, you can relate to this quite well....
...my favorite part being the exchange with your boyfriend at the concert! Priceless!

Little Ms Blogger said...

I'm surprised about the blonde part. I'd thought he had have huge crushes on brunettes.

I think I like watching a child who has a crush then relive those moments of complete suffocation. Crushes did that to me. I am surprised I was able to think, remember my name or graduate school.

Intense Guy said...

:)

I guess as long as you have crushes, you aren't dead.

I don't remember my first crush - or perhaps it's that I can't remember which crush of many was my first one. I know which one is my last one though. :)

Eva Gallant said...

You stirred up many memories...I may have to write about my crushes--hope you won't mind if I do.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Damn Blondes, they seem to have all the fun.

Jules said...

TOO funny! My first crush gave me a ring with a J on it. Although my REAL name doesn't begin with a J. Ahhh, sweet love.

MommaAmma said...

Oh Blogger!

Oh my crushes. I might have to write about this since one comment doesn't explain it.

My first big crush is now a dress designer in LA. I loved how he always played prince and princess with me. No wonder I was the prince.

TKW said...

Your son has good taste. I'd kiss ScarJo, too.

blueviolet said...

Your brother is hilarious!!! I love the comment about your face being held underwater.

I'm with you on the celebrity crushes...totally harmless and totally necessary. :)

DaisyGal said...

I LOVED this post, I might have to write about my crushes. I have many....the longest is Barry Manilow (STOP LAUGHING)
the most heavenly for me ..is Pierce Bronson..STOP LAUGHING...STOP IT!

and I loved the story about Mini,,blondes are more fun, just ask me!!! I love how he is stud a STUD MUFFIN already. :)

DaisyGal said...

I LOVED this post, I might have to write about my crushes. I have many....the longest is Barry Manilow (STOP LAUGHING)
the most heavenly for me ..is Pierce Bronson..STOP LAUGHING...STOP IT!

and I loved the story about Mini,,blondes are more fun, just ask me!!! I love how he is stud a STUD MUFFIN already. :)

That One Mom said...

Blogger is a pirate hooker.

I totally love kid crushes, even though my daughter's crush involves me being tortured by countless hours of the Bieber kid.

Caty said...

that is so sweet! Isn't it funny how soon the little ones' preferences are know...

I love how you humorously recall your crushes. It so entertaining to look back at our young selves and make fun.

Hope you had a great 4th!

Slamdunk said...

You mean you are not like this married woman who has Twilight bed sheets and pillows due to her crush?

The Boob Nazi said...

My comments haven't been working either. WTF, blogger?

Also, my niece told me a boy told her he loved her... She's 8!!!!

Pricilla said...

With blogger, I have no crush.
I want to crush...

Young love. How precious.

Doula said...

Ahhh Channing Tatum, my only reason for watching Step Up. My husband thinks I really, really like dance movies! I too understand oh so well the childhood crushes. My 8 year old has advised me of his "girlfriend" a fellow 8 year old girl in the neighborhood. They have decided to keep it on the "down low" so no one in the neighborhood gossips about them. Too funny, he's learning early to keep his business to himself!

HalfAsstic.com said...

Ooooh, watch out Jen! From the pictures and videos I've seen, that MiniMac is going to be a real heartbreaker.
Warn all blonds!

Ellen@FirednFabulous said...

Now I wanna be hit on by someone younger! (Whether it's by 20 years or 20 days, I really don't care ;) My crushes were SO intense when I was younger, it was just down right scary. It went: Ross, Wick, Ross again, Nick, Carson, Matt, Drew, Scott, (another) Matt, and Rob. In that order. Of course only two of those guys actually liked me back! Crushes can be so stressful, but the pain is just WORTH it for some reason! haha

Amanda said...

I never had a crush until I was in college.

Mommy Lisa said...

I love this post! Mark Ruffalo is dreamy.

:)

Boo Boo has a crush on our friend Todd and has many boys in daycare in love with her and her bossy demeanor.

Aging Mommy said...

Lovely post, crushes can begin so very early and can have a very big and lasting impression.

Writing Without Periods! said...

I've had so many crushes...George Harrison of the Beatles...I honestly thought I was going to marry him.
Love the post.
mary

JenJen said...

I remember my first crush. I wonder if he remembers me?

jules said...

I adore Mark R too. I hope you were able to sneak a picture of Mini dancing with his older lady friend!

Barbaloot said...

You were in 4th grade for your first crush!? I was all of 4 years old. I got started early...probly not the best idea seeing as I'm 26 and still rocking single life... I should learn to relax with crushes:)

Ooh, Mark Ruffalo is kind of amazing. So is James Marsden:)

Jessica-Lauren said...

Hmm, I once was a blond back in the day. I didn't feel like me though. But I do see how blondes get more attention! I never really understood why. Some say brunettes are more intimidating?
Many little boys fall for blond girls, I do see that.
I find it so much cuter when a boy has a crush but when my 8 year old girl cousin has a crush I get a little worried because she tends to go for the kiss! Oh boy that's topic on its own. Media influence.

Nonetheless, Young crushes are mostly quite cute!

K A B L O O E Y said...

My daughter crushes hard and scares 'em away. It's a little heartbreaking, actually. One kid used to hide behind a chair when he saw her coming.

Babes Mami said...

You and I are going to be in trouble with these heartbreaking children!

M-Cat said...

Gonna give a try with the comments......

Love the story. I can't remember my first crush actually, but I do remember my oldest sons. The babysitter. So funny to watch his 5 year old self primp in preparation for her to come over!

Eric said...

Can't say I blame him, blonde women *are* right up there with red heads and brunettes.

undomestic chica said...

My first crush was in Kindergarten, I wrote him a note that said "I love you Steven." My mom, a classroom volunteer found it and thought he wrote it to me. she put it in my scrapbook. I was to embarrassed to tell her the truth.

The Constant Complainer said...

What a great post topic, as many other readers have echoed.

I remember having a crush on a girl in the 3rd grade. Recently, just for sh*ts and giggles, I looked her up on Facebook. LOL. I admit it - I did. She wasn't on there. But it was fun to think back to being that stupid kid so eager to get married before the 4the 4th grade...

Kristin said...

My Most memorable crush was a guy at work...I flirted...He appeared oblivious...I flirted some more...He finally got it and now we're hitched!

shortmama said...

I watched Dear John purely for the eye candy...and Id do it again...and again...and again..

Matthew said...

Crushes make the world go around.....

SmartBear said...

I find the older I get, and the more drinks I have...the more I flirt with wild abandon. It's harmless flirting. I have no intentions or anything. But if I am out with the gals and Mr. Carved Out of Cream Cheese is hanging around, I might just make an ass out of myself telling him how adorable he is.
And if you are wondering...it's not an egalitarian thing. I'd kill my husband for doing that.
I think all the time about the tot and who he will crush on. And who will break his heart. It will be here before we know it!
Best,
Tina

Little Ms J said...

My sister in law found a Victoria's Secret mag under my nephew's bed and threw it away. He's four. He came into their room at midnight and woke them up, "I WANT MY MAGAZINE!"

Pervert.

Myya said...

Ahhhh crushes... such a fun innocent guilty pleasure : ) How cute that mini mac is already a fan of Scarlett. I haven't had a chance to watch Dear John yet... apparently I need to get on it huh!

Christiejolu said...

I think I had a crush on the news paper boy when I was younger...He was a young teen I was about Jeez I don't remember...But he is the first boy I remember having a crush on....

Fragrant Liar said...

Oh man. The rush of the crush! I remember well. I've had many crushes and am hoping for at least one more good one. One more heart-stopping, breath-stealing, gotta-have-him steamy crush. Know anybody?

Fragrant Liar said...

P.S. Blogger sucks donkey balls.

Vivienne said...

Crushes are sooooo important! In fact, I am married to one of my first ones.

Love the exchange with you and the boyfriend at the country concert.

J.J. said...

1st crush: 4th grade, for a 20ish man who worked for my dad. I think this is where my fascination with blue-eyed blondes started.

2nd crush: Another blue-eyed blonde I went to school with. My youngest brother told him I had "the hots" for him and he moved out-of-state shortly thereafter. Coincidence? I think not.

3rd & 4th crushes: High school and college instructors who both had full beards weirdly enough since I prefer a clean-shaven face.

5rd crush: I was 18 y.o., he was a brother's friend. We went to the same college and had a running joke that my bedroom window would always be open when I went to bed, in case he wanted to "visit". I don't think he realized that I wasn't kidding. : P

I've had others, but those are the ones that stand out most.

Caleb said...

Vanna White.

End of story.

And STILL HOT!!

Me likey.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I think Minimac will crush a few hearts! He's so darn handsome!
<><

Denise said...

Evolution of the Crush. Love this and you've got my head spinning with old thoughts and memories.

And got huge goosebumps with the beach dancing. so sweet.

Ashley Stone said...

Love this post! Cute stories.

AmyLK said...

Oh the memories of my crushes! On top of a flame from High School in town, I am enjoying the trip down memory lane. Thanks for pointing the way, Jennie!

wendy said...

Ah yes, the crushes of our earlier years. I remember loving my 6th grade teacher.
I had some crazy crushes to that make me want to gag right now thinking how ridiculous I was.
can you say NERD

Erin said...

I so love posts like these..I start thinking back to my old crushes and unrequited loves. Sigh.

Blogger is being a big PITA. Don't know what is going on, but it's not just you.

Baloney said...

I never admitted to my crushes but all of my friends were very vocal about theirs.
I always admired the girls like you who didn't hide their feelings.

injaynesworld said...

The crushes of my youth crushed my tender heart over and over. Adulthood hasn't been much better. Now my tender heart isn't so tender anymore, but I do remember the adrenaline rush from those ill-fated loves.

Now for my adrenaline rushes I hop on the back of a horse and go for a gallop and the only thing that gets crushed is an occasional bone or two.

;)