Monday, February 8, 2010

Manhattan. And not the good one.

Since my BFF, MarciaGarcia, flew in this weekend, we of course went out for cocktails and chit chat and I was reminded of one of our historical antics. During law school, beneath tedious amounts of reading, we certainly had to balance the work with a certain amount of amusement. A particularly fun weekend was that of the KU vs. KSU football game. Fun for us, never fun for KU because the football program at KSU was a powerhouse at that time.

MG had many friends at KSU so she constructed a very fun weekend road trip to Manhattan, Kansas which would include parties, attending the game, my inaugural visit to Rusty’s Last Chance Saloon, many trays of shots, not one minute of rooting for our actual team knowing a lost cause when we see one, and having a giant sleepover at the home of one of her friends.

For some reason, the following activity also appeared on our agenda.

We, for reasons unknown to me now, decided to spend Friday afternoon visiting the mall in Manhattan. Or what I like to call seven stores in a row. While we were leaving, we happen to spot a giant KSU flag waving from a flagpole in front of Dillards.

MG (do not attempt to deny this, MG) said, “We should take that.”
ShaNaNa, our GoodGirl, says, “No, we should not.”

This does not deter us.

ShaNaNa also says, “And if you did want it, there is no way to get it down.” It is, after all, a very, very large flag. On a very long flagpole, mounted about 25 feet off the ground, on another large pole.

MarciaGarcia says, “It wouldn’t be that hard to get down.”

I say nothing and simply take action. Juvenile delinquent-esque action, but action nonetheless.

I scale the pole. Like SpiderMan. Or a monkey. And after a few minutes of persistent trickery, all while wrapped around the pole like Courtney Love, I get the giant flag AND flagpole down. We have no where to easily put this for transportation.

MarciaGarcia, wisely, has pulled up the getaway car. I shove the flag inside her vehicle, aptly named The Golden Nugget, and we drive away with the flagpole easily sticking 6 – 8 feet out of the car.

We take it to her friends. We laugh. They hear the story. They laugh. They tell everyone. EVERYONE laughs. We gloat. We are dubious and sinister. We are the real Ranconteurs. We are the Usual Suspects. We are the Queens of Leon.

We have BIG fun that weekend and leave the flag in their backyard as both souvenir and housewarming gift. We never plan to think of it again but the story shall live on. And indeed it does.

MarciaGarcia gets a phone call weeks later from her Father. “You need to call me today.” Not his typical style so she rings him. It appears the Manhattan Police Department received a call from a witness in the parking lot of Dillards who reported not only the questionable behavior and petty thievery she witnessed, but also the license plate number of the getaway car: The Golden Nugget.

The Golden Nugget actually belongs to MarciaGarcia’s father.
Uh oh.

She, the budding prosecutor and stunning orator, attempts to dissuade his alarm. We pool our genius friends together to craft a plan to protect our incredibly guilty selves. Our feeble attempts achieve no success and the bottom line: Return the Flag. OR ELSE.  This a message both from the Police and MarciaGarcia's Father.

We first have to retrieve the flag. We then have to drive all the way to the police department with guilty evidence protruding from my convertible and flapping in the wind like we are in some Thanksgiving Parade. At the station, we hope to simply ring the doorbell and run. No girls, sorry. We are made to sit and wait. And receive a lecture. And some questioning. Oh, I know we deserved it but it soon became nonsensical even though we had no idea if we were walking away unscathed. MarciaGarcia was actually taken into a separate room to be interrogated. Finally, they let us depart with a finger shake a promise (never to be kept) that we would not cause mischief in Manhattan again.

In parting, the ornery policeman asks MarciaGarcia how in the world we got the flag down. Does she feign ignorance? Shrug and remain silent? Add one more lie to the pile? NO. She points at me and says, “Ask her. She is the one that climbed up there and got it.”

Thanks.
B*tch.

But we did learn a lesson. Flagpoles can be trouble.
And, from that point forward, I was better off with the good Manhattan anyway.



Enter the FancyPants Giveaway? Contest ends tonight. Winner announced tomorrow.
And don't forget to chugga chugga Choo Choo. Contest ends Wednesday night.

96 comments:

Matthew said...

No good can come from spider monkey antics.

You learned an important lessson early in life. Good work.

Vodka Logic said...

Uh Oh about sums that caper up...

You are a spry young lady too... would love to have seen photographic evidence..

Obviously the law works slow in the other Manhattan if it tooks weeks and they had the plate number. lol....

Jules said...

Bad Girls, Bad Girls......What ya' Gonna Do??? ;)

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh JM very funny, is there anything you havn't done missy! ...mmm wonder what your son will get up to!
xxx

singedwingangel said...

lmbo. I would have paid money to see you shimmy up that pole like that. I have a son who would have done the same thing without batting an eye. I on the other hand would have been the elderly woman on the ground clutching my chest from the heart attack such heights would manifest for me..

The Sharer said...

Image: "Climb the pole all Love style"..Result: Feel creepy all day.

S

My name is PJ. said...

Wow, I hate to say I'm impressed because that would send the wrong message now, wouldn't it? But you shimmied like no one before or since. I'm guessing Johnny Mac married you because you have legs like a vice grip......MWAHAHAHAHA!

mo.stoneskin said...

I heard a story once about some guys who bought a bench and took it down the park. They sat on it until a policeman was in view. Then they picked it up and nonchalantly strolled away with it, chased by the policeman. When he catches up with them and accuses them of stealing public property they produce the receipt and demonstrate it is theirs.

Maybe you should have followed up with a similar trick with your own flag-pole just for a laugh.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

oh wow. What a story to go down in history. I can't believe you did that!

Laura Trevey said...

Love this story... capers and mischief!!

xoxo Laura

The Peach Tart said...

JennyMac...I love your tales of mischief.

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

I didn't know you were a superhero too. You scale flap poles, seriously?! Wow, you learn something new about people everyday.

By the way, this would've made for a lovely episode on one of those criminal shows. Or maybe a reality college series. Even a second film for National Lampoon's Animal House. Can't decide yet. ;-)

MommaKiss said...

Ahhh, nothing better than a good girl's night out. And I'm way impressed you climbed the pole! Atta Girl!

Mom in High Heels said...

So, what I'm reading is that you *have* actually spent some time on the pole?

Too Many Hats said...

She totally sold you out. I'm surprised you are still friends ;)

Anonymous said...

A story...... I was hoping for a recipe :)

Slamdunk said...

And you have Cat Woman abilities too. Wow!

the walking man said...

This is what happens when you go against the advice of counsel. But then you also now have told the world that at one time, way ahead of the current "exercise curve" you were a pole dancer.

Inge' said...

What a funny story!! The escapades of
youth! I can't believe I survived mine without a felony record.

Too bad you couldn't find a mascot to lift along with the flag:)

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That story brings back memories of flag stealing from a golf course in Missouri while at college...ahhh...the good old days.

JenJen said...

Honey another lesson here is: step away from the pole!

Erin said...

Oh Jenny Mac!

This reminds me of when a sorority sister and I stole the SAE's very heavy lion statue (that they'd stolen from US years priot) during a swap. We managed to not get caught, but my friend broke her finger once we got it back to the Phi Mu house and set it down. I had to take her to the ER.

Love this story and can picture you scaling that pole like some monkey--priceless!

Hope you had an awesome time this weekend with your BFF!!!

Will Burke said...

"That's right; I'm the sheriff of Manhatten. No, not THAT Manhatten..." No wonder he takes himself so seriously!

Kate said...

Ha ha I love your adventures and the image of the pole is very funny.

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

leigh said...

You are flippin' hilarious. I have climbed nary a flagpole much less shoved onein a vehicle. I'm impressed!

The Boob Nazi said...

haha I can't believe she gave you up!

Little Ms J said...

I've only ever stolen a caramel from the candy bin at Zayre's, but you would've thought I was driving off in a Lamborghini. Granted, I was 8, but still...

Bossy Betty said...

As a former wildcat I appreciated this story. I had a blast at those KU-KSU games (what I remember of them, anyway.) Loved Manhattan as a cool little town. Lawrence is a great town too. Oh, you brought some good memories back today! (Good to know the Manhattan police weren't too strict. I did my own petty thievery while in college.) My life of crime was short-lived and I am reformed now. Really, I am,

Susan Erickson said...

I like a wild youth...shows spunk. Nowadays the cops would have locked you up and you would have a criminal record...Good thing we grow up eventually,( also lose the ability to scale flag poles )

Kiki said...

great post. what a fun time had by you and your besties. sorry y'all got busted. i'm lucky i never got busted for any of my antics. street signs and orange cones were the hot item in HS, of course, cell phone and security cameras weren't around then catching us. take care.

Scrappy Girl said...

Funny.

Herding Cats said...

Everyone should have a good story involving the law. That's right, everyone.

Kristina P. said...

That's hilarious. My step-FIL is a HUGE KU fan. We bought him a KU Snuggie for Christmas.

La La La Leah said...

Naughty girl! I am so glad that did not go on your permanent record!! I have never stole anything... hmp finally I am better than you!! hahahahaha can I have my Jimmy Choo yet? Ok thanks. xoxox

bluzdude said...

You never know when that pole-scaling ability will come in handy... Like if you're ever stranded on a desert island, you'll totally own those palm trees.

Dumblond said...

A flag with the pole?! I only snagged the occasional street sign with friends (which for some reason I never got to keep...). A tip of the hat to you, dear lady.

Molly said...

hah! Have you gotten her back yet?

I finally joined twitter, and just tweeted about your Jimmy Choo bag giveaway....: )

Ela said...

I can't believe you scaled that pole, look at you Spidey! Eek, I don't know what'd scare me more, her furious father of the Police. Isn't it amazing to look back at the things we thought were fabulous ideas, seriously I don't think I could come up with half of those *gems* now.

Brian Miller said...

lol. this reminds me so much of younger years....

Anonymous said...

But if you'd listened to me, you wouldn't have had such a great blog post. :-)

Hope you & MG had a good time...miss you both but this was a great trip down memory lane.

Love,
ShaNaNa

Summer said...

Classic!

foxy said...

There is big awesomeness in scaling a flag pole for any reason. You are such a bad girl!!

Dumbwit Tellher said...

I didn't know pal Sean Nelson of Seattle Band 'Harvey Danger' named their hit song "Flagpole Sitta" after you Jenny dear.
OH - JM, your my kind of gal xx

Angelia said...

HAHA! We've all done something of this nature. We once snagged part of a resturant sign that said "Chance" because our too shy friend had the same last name.

Simone said...

I have no idea what I have been doing with my life!!

Great story JennyMac :)

Christiejolu said...

LMAO! Sounds like a fun time! A friend and I once thought it a good idea to steal one of those road horse things. We thought it was a great idea until the flashing kept us awake all night.

Corrie Howe said...

Woo. So glad you two buddy attorneys got off with just a lecture and finger shaking!

JadeLD said...

I might have done something a little bit crazy today - and I didn't even have any cocktails. I'm partly blaming you for what I've done ;)
Can you guess what it is?
Jade

DeNae said...

Is it OK that in my head you're calling her "Mar-SEE-a Gar-SEE-a"? You can take the gringa out of Puerto Rico...

And a scene very similar to this one actually happens in my book. Only since it's the sheriff of the town and her two pals doing it, no one winds up in the hooskow.

But her car does get smashed to smithereens. So let that be a warning to all you JennyWannaBees!

jessalyn said...

sounds like a good time to me!
were the cops hot at least? me thinks i would thoroughly enjoy a good lecturing from a hot cop, just sayin'.
glad you didn't get into too much troubles :)

Baloney said...

You are trouble! That is really funny.

I have a lot of jayhawk friends here in Tulsa. What is it with Tulsa and KU?!

jenn w/ 2 n's said...

Awesome story!! We once raided the treasures that were behind an old dance hall. Storage? Trash pile? We'll never know. We ended up somehow fitting one of the Bud Light beer signs with the long horn horns in a limo. Another gem was an old George Dickell Whisky trucker hat. I'm talking an original trucker hat.. ha! Good times with good friends.

vinomom said...

Thats an awesome story! I definitely never did anything that risque ! I think I have to go steal a flag to complete my life now.

stepfabulous said...

Ah, this bring back memories of my youth! Aside from the fact ours was a statue from a rivarly team, it could have been us in the "silver bullet" rather than the golden nugget! LOL

stepfabulous said...

PPS - my email is in my comment on your super bowl post! Mwah!

shortmama said...

Youve been a vewy bad wittle girl...

Julia said...

haha good stuff. now THESE are the good stories for your grandchildren.

"now now, eat all your broccoli otherwise grandma won't tell you about that time she almost got arrested for stealing a flag!"

my friend almost got shot down in Georgia, while stealing a confederate flag off this old guy's property.

apparently people get really mad when you try to steal their flags!

klfd.woods said...

Stick with the good Manhattan, they are more portable!

Emily said...

What I want to know is how the heck you learned how to shimmy up a flagpole?

Ashley said...

Love it!

I have this love for penguins so while we were out of town this weekend, we were walking along a strip mall. There was a McDonalds across the parking lot so my fiance went over, stole the sign for the Madagascar penguin toys and put it in my SUV.

I'm waiting for that phone call.

Eva Gallant said...

JennyMac, you are incorrigible! Watch out for when MiniMac reaches his teens--especially if he has his mother's genes!

Pricilla said...

You are a woman of boundless talent....

Mommy Lisa said...

I love a good Courtney Love reference...

Just Breathe said...

Didn't you mother tell you that no matter what you do at some point you will get caught. That is too funny!

Myya said...

Ugggghhhh nothing is worse then pulling off what you think is a perfect act of vandalism & getting away with it only to find out that you got caught. Oh & TOO funny abour your friend telling the cop to ask you! What a friend!! :)

kbxmas said...

Three things:
1) Much better stores in Lawrence (and way more than 7)
2) The police in Lawrence are way too stoned to (a) care that you stole anything or (b) track down your license plate.
3) Rock chalk Jayhawk!

Kato said...

Haha! Oh man I wish I had been there! I would have been cheering you on like mad!

Great story, don't ever change JennyMac!

Ed Adams said...

Funtimes.

Lucky flagpole.

Prosy said...

My greatest dream (at least in elementary school) was to be able to climb that rope in gym class. I am patheticly unathletic, and never could get more than a few inches off the ground.
You must have been wicked good at that.

UberGrumpy said...

Pon my soul you stole a pole.

Tina Lane said...

Who knew that Courtney Love was up there with Spiderman when it comes to climbing poles? Great post. Hilarious. I can't believe you were able to get up there.

Stopping by from SITS.

Mighty M said...

I'd never have the guts....

WhisperingWriter said...

Sounds like fun.

Man, I need to get out with my girlfriend. Big time.

secret agent woman said...

Ha ha! Worth it for the story, right?

HalfAsstic.com said...

Laughed all the way through.
You know I am assuming the "Good Manhattan" is the cocktail. ;-)

blueviolet said...

I could only have done something like that if I was drunk!

Fragrant Liar said...

So. You are good with a pole. And your hubs, does he appreciate this skill?

Secretia said...

I tried so many times to climb up a rope, but I couldn't do it.

Climbing up a pole, I can't do that either, unless the pole is VERY SHORT (by comparison) under a foot I can handle...

Secretia

Ms. Salti said...

She ratted you out? How rude! At least you have a fabulous story to go along with it!

Pop and Ice said...

You scaled a flag pole?! Is there anything you didn't do as a teen/young-adult that wasn't hair-raising?

koopermom said...

I have a very similar college story involving a stop sign and giant orange construction cones....

Lily Johnson said...

Oh boy! hahahaha. Lovely and kick ass funny post JM! Marcia shouldn't have done that though.You are incredible and the pole should jump for joy.

Matty said...

As they say, there is no honor among thieves. Or as they also say, "every man (or this case, woman) for him/herself".

But quite funny nonetheless.

obladi oblada said...

I left you an award on my blog...because, gee, youre swell.

Mrs Montoya said...

Well of course you climbed the pole and stole the flag - that's why i love you. I've been MIA and have been missing you, too. Hope your Super Bowl soiree was great. Can't wait to make the fruit bruschetta!

injaynesworld said...

My, you were a nimble one, weren't you. Glad to hear your life of crime was nipped in the bud, but that was a helluva good prank.

Laoch of Chicago said...

When I was in Law School I sadly had the feeling that the Florida Bar would somehow find out about even the most minor of transgressions and not admit me (Florida at the time denied a lot of people Bar membership for "moral" reasons, I am not sure how exclusionary they are today)so I missed out on some no doubt magical activities like flag pole climbing.

Andrea said...

I am continuing to laugh right now. "Ask her, she is the one that climbed up there and got it"? Hilarious!

M-Cat said...

Love the story!

You and your gals, have the best times!

hotpants™ said...

I'm surprised you managed to steal something so large. Good for you. Ha!

Uptown Girl said...

There's a Manhattan in Kansas?

T!nK said...

<3

jules said...

If that wasn't a drive of shame, I don't know what is. The flag even represents a tale between the legs. ha ha. Sometimes flags get stolen. That's all I'm saying.

Aunt Becky said...

I'm hella impressed that you made it up there in the first place, yo!

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

I hope you were eventually able to get the tire tracks off your back after being thrown under that bus. Or under the Golden Nugget, as it were.

Also am going to have a tough time shaking the image of Courtney Love wrapped around a pole, oh yes I am.

Working Mommy said...

I'm sure if you had more time that you would have covered the license plate with reflective tape...right...right?!?!

~WM