No, I am not allergic to the rings or marriage itself. My Doctor, upon having a look, said it is likely exposure to a new product. Hence, the culprit is the heinous soap. I have tried to work around it but what I have come to realize is this ring finger, which scarcely goes noticed, is now the exact center of my personal universe since it is irritated by everything that touches it including air and my eyes.
In order to treat it properly, I had to remove my wedding rings which I was hesitant to do. I have not removed my wedding band since the day JohnnyMac placed it on my finger. And an acoutrement my finger lived fine without for 30 years, I will say the first day or two even catching glimpses of my hand sans wedding bands made me feel like I was looking at a strangers hand at the end of my arm.
So while I have my ring off, I run into one of two
With painstaking predictability, she inquired about JohnnyMac. How is he? Oh, he’s good. Everything going well for him? Everything good between you? OH, I see you are not wearing your wedding ring…followed by a puzzled/weird/Nancy Grace facial expression to the point I feel like I should expect TMZ photogs to leap out from behind the trees.
My thought, if you can see my absent wedding ring, you can certainly see the allergic reaction, yes? I know this because someone standing on their front porch in Mississippi can likely see it. But instead, I find myself being a smartass and saying in a conspiratorial whisper, “I sold it on eBay.”
Go tell that on the mountain.
But to be honest, it is a big adjustment to see an empty ring finger. I don’t identify myself by wedding bands but they have become a part of me. I know some people who remove their rings while working out or playing sports, but it is a strange adjustment for me to see that empty finger. I was once told my an elderly woman that removing your wedding bands was bad luck. Is it? I doubt it. But I do feel a bit naked without them.
My hand is healing, but slowly. In the interim, my ring finger remains bare. Since I can not replace the hand erosion sauce with something more soothing, I have added a supplemental a bottle of soap in the women's room on my floor.
And I would like to start a petition that we not fill our corporate bathroom with soap made of bleach powder and lye but that is likely not a wise idea. Or I could suggest that a cost saving measure would be to reduce the 10,000 gallons of coffee we make per day in our break room but that will likely
106 comments:
I'm one of those that removes mine while working out and while at home. So far, so good.....
Ouch, I wash my hands so often in my job I no longer wear rings or a watch. But in all honesty I haven't worn a wedding band in about 15 or so years. It got tight with a pregnancy and I never got comfortable wearing it again [also see above].. Only a couple of times have I been asked if I was a single mother... huh cuz I don't wear a ring. Oh well.
I was once asked out based on the fact I didn't wear a ring.. opps. I still declined
Good luck with the rash.
I know exactly the type of reaction you're talking about. It happened to me once and it is brutal. And I am another one who never removes my wedding ring. After 29 years I've got a lovely little indentation that would tell on me anyway! But let's not be radical and remove the coffee. PLEASE. Kathy
The smell of the bathroom soap is the thing I miss most about my old job - it can never be overestimated. Never. I've looked for that essence in supermarkets, pharmacies and on the black market - to no avail.
*Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*
I think we must have that same soap at my company! Who makes that crap??
In our bathroom at work, they fill half-empty soap dispensers with water. It grosses me out. And gets so messy because you're not expecting liquid to come shooting out at you! But, that's still not as bad as an allergic reaction. Hope it gets better!
"I sold it on Ebay"....CLASSIC! Love it!! I feel your pain, I had to have my wedding ring and engagement rings serviced at the jewelers to tighten the prongs and some other maintenance things, and so was without them for a week. I was TERRIBLE! I felt so NAKED!
Hope you're all healed soon!
I supplied our ladies loos with handwash for ages, for the same reason, and eventually, we had a little group who provided the stuff on a rota basis, so's it didn't get too expensive for just me as sole provider. Can't you swap hands with the rings, or wear them on a necklace?
On a positive note, it's good that you wash your hands. I've seen people that don't. The scum.
Yikes, that must be annoying.
The sad thing is that a significant number of men would not know about the soap switch since they don't wash their hands anyway. Wait, those signs required by the health department corrected that problem...
I think its great that you feel so strongly about the importance of your ring and marriage:)
I guess you should find some travel hand soap to keep in your desk. My boss buys ridiculously expensive soap. Last month, everytime I washed my hands I came out smelling like Pumpkin Pie!
I always tease my mom when we're going somewhere and she makes us wait to put on her rings. I always ask, "What? You think someone's going to propose at the grocery store?" I guess after 42 years of marriage they are a part of who she is. And, I have to admit, it's kind of sweet.
I would feel naked without mine too. I need to get in an have them re-sized though because after losing quite a bit of weight, I am very fearful they will just slip right off. As it is they are never facing the right way as they twirl around my finger quite freely now.
Oooh, I hope removing your wedding ring isn't bad luck. I hate getting soap or lotion or anything in mine - and with three kids plus myself to bathe (and lotion), you can imagine how much mine gets slipped off and on!
My husband can't wear his wedding ring at work due to the nature of his job (he does mechanical work and it's a safety hazard) so he's without his half the time, too. I bet people think we're so fickle. :)
Isn't being washed in harsh soap against your will directly linked to the antisocial behavior seen in serial killers? Something your office soap-purchasers may want to consider...
Hope your hand feels better soon!
Ouch, hope it gets better soon. I hate cheap and nasty products, not worth the money you are saving in my book.
I know how you feel, I hate taking my rings off.
Sometimes I get that on my ring finger too. I am not sure what triggers mine. I've never been smart enough to check to see if I've been somewhere with new soap.
I hope yours is better soon and you can go back to being a ring-sporting woman:)
hope it heals soon...had to tak mine off last year b/c a bad case of poison oak...feels weird not being there...
Your ebay line cracked me up!
I don't wear my rings to the gym b/c I always feel like my fingers are swelling. I also don't sleep, shower, or clean with them on, etiher.
But, my finger stills feel weird when they aren't on.
Just you wait until they start buying the cardboard toilet paper. Shortly after we lost our Charmin we also lost cups. Seriously. We have to bring our own if we want to drink water.
You sold it on ebay? hahaha
Haha, I love your comeback! I take mine off whenever I unjewel when I get home from work. Here's something terrible though -- I am such a creature of habit that in the morning, when I put my jewelry on, I go in a certain order. Wedding ring, other ring, earrings, necklace, watch (sounds like a lot, but I swear it's not so much). If for some reason, I start elsewhere, I forget to put my wedding ring on at all! Eeek! Then I feel awful until I can get home to grab it. Weird.
Great post. The Scorpio in me is searching for a deeper meaning... but sometimes it really is just about the soap.
Glad to hear you are on the mend. I know what you mean feeling naked without a ring.
I am not married, but feel naked without my necklace. Well, when I am naked.
Cheap soap, 3 inch wide toliet paper with the absorbsion of Saran Wrap and paper towels that only tear off at the corners. Check, Check, Check. Oh, and designer coffees. Big ole Check. Budget cutting at it's best.
I HATE when I can't wear my rings. I get it checked every 6 months and this past January a diamond was loose so they sent it to be tightened. I was naked without it for 2 weeks & I was so sad!!
The only way I know my left from my right is my ring! I'd be lost...
Oooh...she made the Nancy Grace/Grinch eyes at you? How unsettling.
I only remove mine to sleep. I work out, do everything with my wedding ring on. However, once I left it on when I slept and I did get a rash. Weird.
Mary
Dude. Rashes make people look at you sideways.
I haven't worn any rings or earrings in 20 years due to the fact that I'm allergic to jewelry, apparently. I've gotten used to the naked hand--but am still very married! lol
Late every winter I get a rash we lovingly refer to as "leprosy" on the middle finger of my right hand and right where my wedding band should be. Double whammy.
I hate that nasty smelling soap that they have in daycare/school/public restrooms. It reeks and makes me feel nauseated.
I take my big ring off when I sleep or go to the gym (which I haven't been to in a while-drat), but keep my wedding band on all the time. It's just a slim diamond band, but looks pretty enough on its own.
You sold it on ebay. Awesome. You should have said you sold it to pay for implants.
I rarely take off my ring either. I had my rings in getting replated, and I felt so naked!
Rashes suck. I'm sorry! As for the noisy woman....that's ridiculous of her....good response!
I recently had my ring repaired and I too felt naked without it. Luckily I have two separate rings (one engagement on my left hand, one wedding band on my right hand) that way I just moved my wedding band over to my left hand ring finger.
What I've often found weird is the strange number of men who don't wear rings, my husband included. He just couldn't find one that was comfortable enough to wear constantly. It used to be a source of argument, but eight years in, I've learned to let that go.
Sorry for the nasty rash. (That could sound kind of strange if you had not specifically said the rash was on your finger) ANYWAY...I have to take my rings off at the end of every work day. I can't stand to sleep in them or bath with them on...I hope it's not bad luck, because....damn!
I've only taken my ring off twice in almost 6 years. I think maybe my husband had it sized to fit over my knuckle knowing their was a slim chance of ever being able to remove it after all my knuckle cracking.
Such little things can make such a difference in our day.
btw we took stuff...http://sexnfries.blogspot.com
I can't believe they noticed! Busybodies. Hope your hand heals quick. I've worn mine every day since we got married. I'd feel naked too. My husband takes his off in the shower and when he forgets it, I find it and take it to him and put it on his finger while saying, "With this ring I thee wed.". He just rolls his eyes at me.
SO glad you brought your own soap!
I take my rings off at night and when I shower. That's about it. And occasionally I'll forget to put them back on afterwards, and yep--I get that "naked" feeling.
I always look at people's ring fingers, cause they do it to me all the time, I am single.
Secretia
ugh, I hate cheap companies. And that scratchy TP... what the hell?! I don't literally want my job to be a pain in the ass! LOL!
I hope everything heals up nicely for you soon!
Never took it off? I take mine on and off all the time.
Ebay cracked me up too!
My opinion is, the better the soap the less likely to have sick employees.
Sorry about your reaction...I have somewhat sensitive skin and know that feels.
I take my rings off a night usually and HATE when I forget to put them on in the morning. It does make me feel not fully dressed.
I find it strangely endearing that wearing your rings means so much to you. Never lose that! (I also found your eBay remark endearing, which probably says more about my own internal conflicts than it does about you. Or maybe it's a Gemini thing.)
Been rubbing a little Benadryl cream into it? The finger, not the ring. Just a thought from the domestic front.
When I worked in the old office I had to bring in my own soap because their nasty shiz made my hands peel!
Poor JennyMac! I am allergic to just about everything that has a chemical in it, so what I use has to be natural. So I get what it feels like, and it isn't pleasant! I hope it heals soon and you can get your ring back on before it really shows up on TMZ!
And I am sorry JennyMac, that I laughed through this whole post. I know you are uncomfortable and that is not what I found funny. It's just that you are so damn funny, and I couldn't help it.
Here's to a speedy recovery! xoxo
The same thing happened to me and I brought my own soap. Someone actually stole it! Five times. I'm a slow learner.
My finger never healed. Everytime I put the ring on, the rash popped back up. I told my jeweler about it and he rodium dipped it. Said something about the reaction of the elements and blah blah blah chemistry something or other but anyway, I got my shiney new ring back and it didn't happen again.
What the hell is wrong with JA#2. Clearly if you and the Mac had split, you wouldn't be discussing it with her. People are so nosy! Good for you and the ebay comment and leaving people wondering!
Hope you are healed soon though!
Ugh. That reminds me of the soap we used to have at my elementary school. It was a gritty powder that you pumped into your hand, not unlike COMET, and then you had to grind it up with water to make some kind of skin-shredding sludge.
I hope your finger heals up soon! I hate having my ring off, too :(.
I remember when I first removed my wedding band after The Separation. It was hard to get used to my hand being so much lighter.
Hope your hand heals quickly.
You really never remove it even to put hand lotion on??? Doesn't it get all gunky? Surely you use some kind of hand gel or lotion....
Hope your finger heals soon. I felt naked without mine when I had to take them off when I was pregnant.
Some people are always looking for good juice - so annoying. But that lame soap sounds even more annoying! I guess the company's new policy should be BYOS!
I take mine off all the time b/c I wash my hands so much!!! I never wear it to the gym b/c it would drive me crazy. Maybe they all think I'm single? :)
hope your finger gets better soon! I never take off my wedding rings either, so I know how you feel. : )
People are just ridiculous gossip mongers. I never really wear my wedding ring -no particular reason, I just don't. But people at my kids taekwondo have made various inferences. i've even been asked if my kids have the same father (which I think is a really weird question to ask when you barely know someone). whatevs.
I need to remember "I sold it on eBay"! That's a brilliant response to any ridiculous question that begins with "Where is...". And much more appropriate than the response a friend of mine from college always used to give which was "If it were up your a@@ you'd know." Which was true but not an appropriate thing to say at work as an adult.
I am allergic to marriage. Apparently it causes really bad car accidents for me,
The publicist has not been able to wear her rings since we goats entered her life. We like things that sparkle and we try to eat them off her hand.
She could not see herself explaining to the male person that "Pricilla ate my diamond and I need a new one."
After a trip through my four stomachs I doubt it would poop out very nicely.
Dude that sucks. When I was pregnant my hands got so swollen that my husband had to use bolt cutters to get it off of my finger before I lost circulation and it fell off.
That is a real bummer about the soap and the allergic reaction, especially on your ring finger.
It's funny because I'm the opposite - I don't wear my wedding ring (or any other rings). Hubby has learned to live with it, however, he does wear his. I know double standard.
I dont even remember the last time I took mine off!
Ouch that must have hurt! Hope you get to use your new soap, it may be empty in the stampede to use it by the sounds of that other industrial cleaner.
Great comeback btw, I would never have thought of saying that.
xxx
I go sans wedding rings so often that nobody thinks a thing about it. I'm a frequent hand washer and it became a huge pain to take them off.
I love your comeback line.
LOVE the Ebay line! LOL!!!
I had to have my wedding band cut off during my first pregnancy because I almost lost my finger due to swelling... I refused to go too long without a ring tho because heck!? I'm pregnant??!! hello...? So I found a cheapo expandable one at a garage sale and kept it on during that the rest of my pregnancies.
I'm sorry about your ring irritation! Bring in your own hand soap and keep it in your purse!
ewe, I hate those cheap soaps. Like the ones at highway rest stops? I break out from those, too.
JA#2 earned the nickname well, if you ask me. To come right out and ask about your missing ring... RUDE! Love the snarky retort.
I feel nekkid without mine, so I can totally relate. But I have taken them off for various reasons before. I think our marriage may survive anyway.
For Gawd's sake! Don't touch the effin coffee!
Ahem, just had to get that off of my chest. I think the purchase placement of another brand of soap in your particular bathroom is wise. I don't know how long it will last or how many other women use the same facility, but have you ever considered soap leaves? Handy, and can be carried in a small package in your purse.
I TOTALLY know what you mean. I never go out of the house without my wedding ring! I even bought a fake version while I was pregnant cuz my hands swelled & I couldn't wear my real one. About a month ago I got the same rash you have... I had to go without for about a week & 1/2 before it cleared up... I felt so naked & sooo self concious about what people were thinking when I'd go somewhere with kids in tow & no wedding ring on my finger. Hope it clears up quick... its so much better looking down & seeing your "love" symbol : )
ooh, I hope the buyer left you good feedback ;)
No side affects from not having worn the ring for the past 20 years but he doesn't wear his either.
Have you had problems at your workplace of people not using toilet paper to wipe themselves? Or maybe you work at the CDC and are exposed to the Hanta virus? Why else would they opt for cheap-lye-like soap? Sounds more like a concern for office wellness than a budgetary necessity...
And don't even joke about the coffee.
Ew...a rash! ;) Hate those.
Please make up some awesome story next time for JA#2. You are far more creative than I am so I'm 100% confident you could floor her.
I wear my ring constantly too, I never take it off at the gym. I wish it had special powers that made the douchebags stop talking or looking at themselves in the mirror when I pointed it at them. Thank GOD for headphones.
I always wore my wedding ring (although I'd remove the diamond engagement ring if I was cooking or sleeping) for 19 years. It was odd to stop wearing it, but now I don't even notice.
I have had a couple periods of time in my 6 years of marriage where I have gotten a rash under the ring and have had to remove it, and I too thought it was so bare looking without it. Mine was just soap buildup under and on the ring itself, so once I got the ring cleaned it cleared up just fine. Hopefully the soap switch will do the trick for you!
I feel naked without my ring too. I never take it off. If I do, I constantly check my finger because it feels so weird.
ha! i hate when my office cuts down on the most random things....ie: no more plastic spoons in the kitchen. good luck if you bring in soup. ;)
xoxo
I finally went out and bought myself a new ring 5 years after my divorce.. my hand just felt naked.
I always wear my rings. And I wash my hands like the OCD freak that I am, soooooo, I often end up with a reaction under the band from where the soap/water get trapped.
I don't remove them when I am out because I am always horrified that being the klutz I am I would drop them down the sink or something.
That really sucks. I am so sorry.
Strange how that would happen. I am sure that you have used all kinds of soaps from different places.
I never had a wedding band so I don't know how you feel. But bad soaps suck! Maybe you can buy a small one to keep in your purse or at your desk.
Sorry to hear about your allergic reaction. I don't like to to take my ring off either. The only time I did and someone asked was before I was even married. We had my wedding band designed around my engagement ring, so I had to go sans diamond. Someone asked if the engagement was broken.
I actually ended up with this weird skin thing on my finger under the band. It's a kind of thicker band so there was a strip of skin that never got exposed to air, and it was actually kind of holey looking. I had to leave my ring off for a few days and let it "dry up". I just can't explain this. But ever since I have been extra careful about taking it off and making sure it's completely dry.
Is the soap scary pink in color?
Stupid cheap ass soap!
I never take my rings off. Running, cycling, swimming, whatever, my bands stay on. It just makes me feel better.
They did the same thing where I work. Replaced the good stuff with cheap imitation. Drats.
And the nerve of some people. Even if I did notice the missing ring, I sure wouldn't comment or inquire about it. It's none of my business.
Good answer.
Oh, you need to stand your ground on this one and demand new soap. Do they not know this is the famous blogger JennyMac they are messing with???
hope your finger heals soon and you get to put your rings back on. that ring allergy thing happened to me twice. i use palmolive soap for washing dishes and some soap never rinsed thoroughly from under my ring. the chemicals in the soap burned my skin off. i had this red, crusty puss, itching and peeling ring around my finger {sorry. TMI}. it was horrible. ring came off and it took a long time to heal cuz it was a chemical burn. i did it a second time months later. the skin is different on my ring finger now. it's softer and lighter than the rest of my fingers. i wear a thinner band and always make sure i completely rinse the soap away. take care.
Oh damn! Hope it heals quickly. I know a lot of people who don't wear their wedding rings and I think it's a personal thing.
As a single girl, if I see a hot guy, the first thing I look for is a ring on his finger... so I appreciate when the rings are worn so I don't get my hopes up!
I hated the smell of the soap in grade/h.s. - to the point of making me gag, so I can imagine.
I wear a diamond ring on my ring finger. I had it made for my birthday and call my 'Omg, I'm 40!' ring. I tried to find a design that didn't scream "engagement" ring, but I guess I failed because I get, "When did you get engaged?", whenever I run into someone I haven't seen in a while. And yes, I feel naked without it. I take it off when I shower. TMI? lol!
I feel for you-- I've had some occasional 'dis-hydrosis' that makes me take the rings off-- and I hate how THAT feels more than the stupid rash with its bumps and itch! Good luck with getting it cleared up.
The soap is this gelatinous orange gunk that sort of stains my hands, like I've been drinking too much carrot juice.
It's not as awesome as it sounds.
Ugh! Sorry about your allergic reaction - that does sound painful!
Loved your retort about selling it on eBay - that's the same sort of smartass response I would have given. ;)
I take my rings off constantly when I'm making wine or baking - but I will never leave the house without them on my fingers because you're right - I feel naked without them! :)
I get that shit occasionally.
I found the cure is to "misplace" the wedding band.
I am currently "searching" for the second "misplaced" wedding ring.
My wife is soooo thrilled.
I used to wear my wedding ring all the time. Then I started working in a casino and had a player tell me, "I am not going to tip you because you obviously have a man to take care of you." I took it off that night.
I really wanted to tell him what a c*&^k bite I thought he was, but I needed the job.
Jenny thanks for stopping by my blog, I too get the same reaction to cheap products-- why oh why can't the world just provide us with fab products!
You sold it on ebay! BWAHAHAHA!
There's a Nosy Nelly at every turn just waiting to start riding the Gossip-Go-'Round.
I'm allergic to all but the most benign stuff. Queen Contact Dermatitis. I feel your pain.
I wear my wedding ring on my right hand. I don't want people to judge me on my marital status.
I had a similar reaction to a product on my w.ring finger. 6 mos later, I discovered that I also had developed a reaction to gold and had to replace my w.ring with platinum.
I can't wear gold on my fingers for longer that 6 hrs at a time or I get discoloration and eventually blisters.
I don't what they put in there but I'm pretty sure it's not "soap". Especially if it's pink. Last time that happened at work I bought myself some REAL soap, as well as a bottle for my staff, we would leave for the restroom with bottle in hand. We had to keep it at our desks because when I first left it in the restroom, everyone else used it and I had to buy a new bottle in 3 days.
A friend of my husband had a mishap with her ring at the gym. The weights had worn it down over time till one day it actually broke and part of the ring was lodged in her finger. Yikes. Ever since hearing that we take them off if we're doing any weights.
I love that you told her you sold it on eBay. She'll probably search it and see how much you're selling it for.
Don't even joke about someone's coffee, now!
I take mine off all the time when I am home and sometimes don't even wear them on the weekends. Hubby, on the other hand, NEVER takes them off (except when in the OR). He really gives me a hard time about it, but sometimes they just get in the way.
They must buy the same crap here at my work. That stuff dries out my hands awful and I also have had what I call "ringrot" from that soap! So I know that naked ring finger feeling. Glad your hand is getting better. You should have given JA#2 the finger. Yeah I know, that's wrong.
<><
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
I also never take my wedding ring off. Half the time I realize this after I'm halfway through sanding down a dresser or something, so it looks pretty beat up.
And when it is off, I feel like I'm not wearing any pants. It's good to know I'm not alone.
I don't like taking my rings off, either.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! :)
'Sold it on ebay' that is so fricking hilarious!
Did the lady think you were serious or did she realise it you were joking?
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