Some people have what we call "rock star" parking status. Everywhere we go this special talent is realized. My mom is one of those people. Want front row at Nordstrom during holiday season? Ride with her. Want to park as close as possible to Costco? On a Saturday? Handled. Want to park downtown Seattle on the same block as the theater, in order to see a show that hundreds of other people are also going to see? Fret not. She's the machine that will get you there. It is a given, a guarantee.
Now, I may have a trickle of that luck but not in the "sure thing" kind of fashion for which she is accustomed. One balmy afternoon, she and I decide to drive separately but meet at Costco. Both in our vehicles, we spy the same car leaving and we both jockey for position. Because of direction, I have clear access while the other car pulls out and blocks her. Therefore, I prevail. Since we know each other, we obviously think it is all fun and games.
To add to the parody, my beautiful and typically more demure mom rolls down her window and says, "That was my spot you, b*tch!"
So I laugh and shout, "Not anymore lady. I am younger and much faster!" (All very reminiscent of a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes.)
As I close my window and exit my car, a sweet older woman pushing her cart reprimands me by stating, "Miss, that woman was waiting for that spot."
"Oh, that is just my mom," I say. I laugh. All quite laissez-faire, as I am trying to scuttle away.
"Then you are very rude."
I try to explain it was a joke. She is stoic. As I dart away, and she launches into a diatribe about children today. I pause to further explain before realizing, it won't sink in. I am sure the woman was shocked. My mom and I had a quick laugh, and of course, my mom got a better spot. All fun and games indeed.
Do you know when it isn't fun and games? When I am actually waiting for spot, and some teenager driving a Kia, or a Tata, or a matchbox car because it was so tiny, does swoop in and take my spot. On a rainy day. At 6 pm. At the grocery. When I have a munchkin with me. Did you see that blinker? Isn't that the universal sign that I am pulling in here?
Hmmm. What do you do? Pick up his tiny car and put it in the nearest trash receptacle ? Key it even though your car key is bigger? Kick it like a soccer ball? Write a note saying "YOU SUCK"? Launch into a diatribe about children today?
No. Because it is raining. And you have a toddler with you. So you simply wait, since by all means, there is no one else trying to park at the grocery store at 6 pm. And next time, you borrow the rock star parking pass.