Thursday, October 7, 2010

Be careful home hair stylists....

I have not had my hair cut in six months. I used to get it cut every 4 weeks but that was when I had a mane like Rapunzel. After the Locks of Love donation, I felt lighter, but shorter hair seemed to take much more work. So I let it grow. And grow. My stylist came over to cut it last Friday. I quickly confess to him I have trimmed my bangs a few times. He assures me he already knows. I also quickly confess I colored my own hair 6 weeks ago. He narrows his eyes ever so slightly and tells me he will assess my skills (e.g the damage I self-inflicted) once he begins cutting.

I will be the first to admit in the last year, in the mass of dark hair I own, I have seen tiny gray hairs sprouting up like daisies in certain areas of my head. It started out small but oh, like rabbits, they multiply. And I am not against the gray hair. My husband is the salt and pepper fox. But similar to UPS, I like what brown can do for me.

Now you would think after CopperGate, I wouldn't dream of coloring my own hair. But when you chop off almost a foot of hair, coloring it at home is incredibly easy. And incredibly convenient. I can't sign up for hours at the salon. Haircut? Yes. Color? Well. I have a cape. A fantastic comb. And per the box, it really only takes 20 minutes.

My stylist, upon conclusion of my cut, told me he could not tell I had done it myself. Well let me reach right around and pat myself on the back. So this endorsement made me feel more confident than ever I could do it again. Flawlessly.

On Sunday afternoon, I don my cape (from his salon) and set to work. After the deep condition, I clean up my supplies as MiniMac comes into our room. He asks what I am doing and I tell him I am combing my hair. He then asks, "What is that?" I look to where he is pointing. A large brown spot discolors our large, fluffy, white bathmat. Uh oh. I forgot to move the bathmat. I tell him I spilled something on it. Like a sloppy Martha Stewart, I set about cleaning it immediately.

Be careful home stylists.

I take the rug downstairs to the laundry room as I hear MiniMac tell JMac "Mommy has to clean the rug, she spilled something on it."
JMac asks, "What did she spill?" (Because he has no idea.)
MiniMac replies, "Something brown. I think it was poop."

UMMMMM, NOT EXACTLY but I am not sure who laughed harder, my husband or me. His laughter only increased when I felt compelled to explain it was hair dye. In retrospect, I am quite certain I didn't actually need to clarify.

What a dichotomy: My fabulous stylist could not tell I colored my own hair but my 3 year old thinks I spill "poop" on the rug. 

42 comments:

blueviolet said...

That is so funny!

The Savage said...

I dye my hair invisible...

Vodka Logic said...

I wish I could color my hair but I am afraid.. so I pay every 5-6 wks.. And I am al lot gray.

My name is PJ. said...

I love how Mini Mac tells it like it is, or should I say, "calls 'em as he sees 'em.:

I'm surprised you of all people would color your hair to hide a few grays. You're so pretty. Your mom is so pretty. You're genetically gifted. Gray hair is lovely. I've always thought so.

So, why didn't you share what brand of hair coloring you used to color your own hair? People will want to know because your hairdresser said he couldn't tell.

Maria said...

Oh my goodness! I gave up that ghost a long time ago. I learned my lesson the hard way. I make my appointment like a good girl when I can't stand to look at the new gray recruits on my head.

I have done A LOT of BAD things to my hair, and have paid the price. However, I was never accused of pooping on the rug. Just sayin'...

the walking man said...

The hair club is not just for men anymore...and i think Ron Popiel is still out there selling hair in a can...but wait cal right now and we'll send you two, one brown and one blond for those "frisky Friday nights."

Intense Guy said...

I think I prefer to think that you pooped on the rug rather than know you have (gasp!) gray hairs...

:)

jules said...

Ha ha ha. Your little fellow is hilarious! Glad you have mastered the skill of coloring your own hair. It is NOT easy! I've had some...episodes myself! Ha ha.

Eva Gallant said...

That is funny! Mini Mac caught you brown handed, so to speak!

Simply Suthern said...

The little ones always bring us back down to earth.

Stephanie said...

I just lauged out loud. Hilarious.

brainella said...

Did anyone tell MiniMac it wasn't poop?

TKW said...

Sometimes, when I can't make it to the stylist in time, I use one of those emergency root cover-up thingys. And she always knows...they have the eagle eye.

singedwingangel said...

BWHAHAH I would hate to think what he though I might have done since I tend to go red lol. That would have been just as interesting him looking for a bleeding appendage..

The Blogging Goddess said...

Now, the question is, what are you going to do when he tells his teacher and class mates that you pooped on the rug?

MommaAmma said...

Oh MiniMac, too too cute!

I've died my own from time to time. But bra length or longer is quite difficult for me. Some day the salon will invent a 20 minute process. I dream.

Big Fat Gini said...

Any time I color my hair, I end up practically spraying the bathroom down with dye. So, I decided I'd pay someone to do it for me. She sprayed down my brand new Dooney & Bourke with the dye.

The difference? She paid for it. I have to clean my own bathroom.

Susan Erickson said...

That got a laugh out of me! please be more careful with your pooping habits....those white rugs really suck it up......

Mighty M said...

The stylist always knows if you cut your own hair, darn them! :)

gayle said...

You are so brave!! I would never even cut my bangs let alone cut my hair or color it!

Kristina P. said...

Hahaha. Your kid is hilarious.

I cut my own bangs too. They grow so fast! And they are always jacked up. And I recently discovered gray hair too. Sob.

f8hasit said...

I think that I may have actually pooped on my own rug from laughter reading your last line.
:-)

Oh...and yes, I have fooled my own stylist with my hair handiwork. Hehe! Power to the box!

Jen said...

Gotta love kids :) They come up with the most fantastic stuff!

I'm a home colorer - every three weeks, in fact, to cover up my 'impressive' (per my neighbor - wanted to punch her!) roots. Yes, moving the rug is a must! It's something I think about as we delve deeper into our bathroom remodel - I need surfaces that are impervious to hair color :)

Fragrant Liar said...

Once the poop story gets around the neighborhood, your reputation is going down the toilet.

shortmama said...

He is so funny!

I color my own hair too and have been for years and my stylist always says I do a great job and wishes she could take credit for it lol. I also dye my bffs hair!

Mom in High Heels said...

I love your boy! He's funny. I colored my own hair for a while, but now I get it done at a salon. One because I'm worth the money, two because my salon pampers me, and three because my hair is insane and always, always, always pulls red when I do it. I come from a long line of red heads, so it's kind of inevitable, but when I do it at home it gets all coppery and weird.
BTW, I started going gray around the age of 27. Coincidentally, I also (finally) got boobs at the same time. I figure it was a fair trade because I can always color my hair. :)

J.J. in L.A. said...

LOVE MiniMac!!! And congrats on a good dye job! I have light enough hair to use Sun-In to lighten my gray-infested hair, so it blends in.

KaLynn ("MiMi") said...

WELL, it is now official! The office knows I'm crazy. I'm in my office laughing hysterically with no one around!

I sooo love kids! It does not get any better when they grow up. In fact, you will prolly hear about the 'poopy' rug when you are 70!

Happy kacklin' girl!

Jules said...

Nothing wrong with having poop hair! ;)

Mommy Lisa said...

Oh NO! Did you get it out??? I had a roomie RUIN a beautiful fluffy pink bath mat with black hair dye. (shush! it was the girlie apartment days!!!)

Eric said...

You have a cape??!? Oh right, one of those.
Hilarious 'dye my hair invisible' comment above...

Little Ms J said...

Did you explain that Clairol threw "Poop Brown" out the window during their ad meeting?

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I'm an incredible slob of a home stylist. I color my own hair. Brown.

I got so sick of the splatter on my bathroom walls that I finally just faux painted the whole damn room a brown/tan/gold. Looks great and now the splatters look...invisible :)

Georgina Dollface said...

I do my own colour too. It is much easier to do when your hair is shorter, I agree. And those messy poop stains, they get on everything if you are not careful, even on your neck! I always have to colour my hair on days when I don't have to go out because for the first little while, my neck and forehead always look like they've got ugly purple bruises all over them. - G

Hookin It With Mr. Lick Lick said...

Hilarious! Kids and their honesty...he told it like he saw it.

I have only dyed my hair a few times...many moons ago. I don't like the mess and my gray doesn't hold the color. Not to mention my hair is to my butt. :o)

Emily said...

So maybe you can save me some money, use your natural talent and color mine for me? ;) I made the mistake once (and only once) to color my own hair.

ModernMom said...

LOL I guess it's better then him thinking you spilled poop on your hair? :)

Badass Geek said...

It's a good thing you weren't coloring your hair red.

secret agent woman said...

Ha! I love/hate that about little kids.

I color my own hair - easy, quick, and wa-a-a-y cheaper.

Siesta in Spain said...

Bwaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa. This made my night. LOVE the way you can tell a story, sister.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Which reminds me that I have a box of color sitting in my bathroom right now waiting for a date with my head.
I also have brand new, white bathroom rugs... I will be taking a bit of advise away from your "poop spilling" shenanigans. ;-)

DaisyGal said...

POOP!!!!!??? Classic!!! oh I love that MiniMac.