Thursday, October 28, 2010

Not your average Jack-o-lantern

One of my roommates during grad school, The Coat, was friends with a completely wayward rogue. We called said rogue O’Shame. Every time I watched LOST and see Sawyer, I was reminded of O’Shame in that same gritty, dirty, muscled, kind of sexy, but really mostly gritty and dirty kind of way. 

During law school, we used to frequent this fabulous dump called The Grenada. Thursday nights heralded in the beginning of the weekend (for us) but also 80's night AND Dollar Pitchers at The Grenada. Few other things on earth scream "I am serious about my education" than flocking with all your law school friends to a giant bar to dance to Come On Eileen and swill down pitcher after pitcher of Keystone Light. But flock we did, and OH, I loved every minute of those 50 weeks a year.

Now, dirty O'Shame would often join. The following is one of his more hilarious antics. 

While at The Grenada, a fertile ground for impermanent relationships, O'Shame met himself a little lass.  While engaged in a full on teen-age make out party, O'Shame, like Tarzan, or King Kong, lifts her up and puts her on the rail so they can take their PDA to a whole new classy level while she wraps herself around him. He is earnestly kissing her. How do I know? 

Because he was leaning so far into her they both FLIPPED over the rail. She landed on her back about five feet below. He landed on her. His face landed on the floor. Only when they finished making out did he rise, dust himself off. He rises and we see blood coming from his mouth and a big snaggle tooth jutting out of his mug. The remainder of his tooth apparently left on the dirty floor. He uses his hand as a towel to wipe the blood from his face. He gets napkins to ward off the flow. He sees no reason to get medical attention. Never mind your face was on the filthy floor. Might that merit at least a rinse or maybe a hand wash? NO. As he continues to bleed, his wife-for-the- night thinks he looks "rugged." As she fetches more napkins for him, he looks at us and asks if it looks ok. Does your broken tooth look ok? Is YES ever an answer to this question? 

The Coat, not wanting to inhibit his prowess, said "I think it is fine."
MarciaGarcia said, "WOW, O'Shame is dirrrrrty."
ShaNaNa (our nice friend) asked, "Are you ok?!?!"
I say, "You look like a jack-o-lantern."
The Social Chairman, in an areyou___ingkiddingme tone said, "More like a JackASS-O- Lantern."

Did it stop O'Shame? No. Even being told you look like a human snaggle-toothed jack-o-lantern couldn't stop that train. And it is awesome when being drunk and hooking up is FAR more important than your health. God forbid you miss a tongue dance while you take a time out to get your smacked gob looked at by medical personnel. 

Now all the rest of you little pumpkins, be good this Halloween. MiniMac is dressing up as a blue m&m. Have a safe and fabulous weekend. And like the black cats, don't let any jackass-o-lanterns cross your path. 

32 comments:

the walking man said...

I never get trick or treaters at my house. I guess I should quit painting my butt orange and drawing a face on it.

AmyLK said...

Funny story! Happy Halloween!

Stereo said...

Sorry but I couldn't get passed the first line of this post for a good two minutes. Rogue O'Shame? CLASSIC. Freakin' love it.

Herding Cats said...

Ouch....just ouch. I hope he was quite drunk or that would have been quite painful!

singedwingangel said...

OH gosh I would have laughed till I cried..

Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog? said...

Ahhhh yes, O'Shame. I've met his cousin McMoron on many occasions!

Hope MiniMac enjoys his Trick or Treating! Wee One is going as a Pirate Princess she says. She has so many costumes for daily Diva-ing that it's not a sure thing until we're leaving the house. :)

Vodka Logic said...

You really should write a book.. crazy friends that you have.

What is OShame up to now and did he ever fix the tooth

The Boob Nazi said...

I looooveeed 80's night in college. I'd still go if I knew a place that had it here in my ghetto city!

Kristina P. said...

You do always have the best stories. And I have to say Sawyer was never my thing.

Little Ms J said...

If I were the lass I would've put my hand out, "I'm sorry. I don't kiss boys with snaggle teeth." I'm classy like that.

Eva Gallant said...

That is too funny! Now I can't get the image you concocted out of my head!

Eva Gallant said...

That is too funny! Now I can't get the image you concocted out of my head!

Marcy said...

Oh, what a night. And this is just one of many a story that generated in the Granasty. Please, oh please, don't ever write a blog about MY story. I would like to put that behind me. Plus, the Keds lady might see it. ha ha.

Big Fat Gini said...

Hey, I think we know that guy! Okay, maybe his twin brother...

Love it!

Mommy Lisa said...

Boo boo is Rapunzel in a BEAUTIFUL blue gown I got on a costume website cheap! But then I paid more than I wanted to on the wig, so it evens out.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Did his hookup take off or stay to mop up the mess?

KittyCat said...

You lead the most exciting life.
too funny

DaisyGal said...

I *Heart* your stories, seriously. I feel like i was there.

so funny!!!

webb said...

What a funny O'Shamathon! When I was in grad school the Budding Barristers let me hang with them and our Friday nights were pretty much like that - except that a fairly high percentage were already married, so it cut down on the wife-for-the-night business.

Brought back fond memories!

Myya said...

Don't you wish you had that on video! :)

I'm Jane said...

Ahhh...I miss youth.

Maria said...

Goodness gracious! I am thinking that with the amount of alcohol he consumed, the washing out of the mouth was probably not necessary and he was so stone drunk, it probably didn't even hurt. Here's to blue M&M's and tamer Halloween night's; 80's or otherwise! Have a wonderful time!

Paul and Kerry said...

Is O'Shame still snaggle toothed? I'm sure no.

$1 pitchers were the best. Recently, hubs and I discovered a fun little sports bar close to home. They offere $5 pitchers of Busch Light. Klassy! but to me it tastes the same as Bud or Coors light.

Fragrant Liar said...

Wow, I think I dated his cousin.

J.J. in L.A. said...

If some guy caused me to fall over a railing, the LAST thing I'd want to do is continue to play tonsil hockey with him.

janis said...

Too Funny!
My baby who's turned 20 today... was a Green M&M with her Blue M&M buddy many years ago. I think she & some of her DZ Sisters are gonna be crayons this year...Lets hope she is the sharpest (or at least a smart) Crayon in the box!

Jaime said...

my son wanted to be skittles... and a dog... and a dog named skittles...

we settled for woodie

My name is PJ. said...

Better drawn characters have simply never existed.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Love the snaggle tooth story. Making out is really important but blood always puts a damper on it as it should.

Caty said...

LOL! I knew a few of those...some I keep in touch with and I don't think they have changed much over ht eyears!

EastBoundandDown said...

Awesome story! Love the way you write it. Felt like I was there.

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