One of my roommates during grad school, The Coat, was friends with a completely wayward rogue. We called said rogue O’Shame. Every time I watched LOST and see Sawyer, I was reminded of O’Shame in that same gritty, dirty, muscled, kind of sexy, but really mostly gritty and dirty kind of way.
During law school, we used to frequent this fabulous dump called The Grenada. Thursday nights heralded in the beginning of the weekend (for us) but also 80's night AND Dollar Pitchers at The Grenada. Few other things on earth scream "I am serious about my education" than flocking with all your law school friends to a giant bar to dance to Come On Eileen and swill down pitcher after pitcher of Keystone Light. But flock we did, and OH, I loved every minute of those 50 weeks a year.
Now, dirty O'Shame would often join. The following is one of his more hilarious antics.
While at The Grenada, a fertile ground for impermanent relationships, O'Shame met himself a little lass. While engaged in a full on teen-age make out party, O'Shame, like Tarzan, or King Kong, lifts her up and puts her on the rail so they can take their PDA to a whole new classy level while she wraps herself around him. He is earnestly kissing her. How do I know?
Because he was leaning so far into her they both FLIPPED over the rail. She landed on her back about five feet below. He landed on her. His face landed on the floor. Only when they finished making out did he rise, dust himself off. He rises and we see blood coming from his mouth and a big snaggle tooth jutting out of his mug. The remainder of his tooth apparently left on the dirty floor. He uses his hand as a towel to wipe the blood from his face. He gets napkins to ward off the flow. He sees no reason to get medical attention. Never mind your face was on the filthy floor. Might that merit at least a rinse or maybe a hand wash? NO. As he continues to bleed, his wife-for-the- night thinks he looks "rugged." As she fetches more napkins for him, he looks at us and asks if it looks ok. Does your broken tooth look ok? Is YES ever an answer to this question?
The Coat, not wanting to inhibit his prowess, said "I think it is fine."
MarciaGarcia said, "WOW, O'Shame is dirrrrrty."
ShaNaNa (our nice friend) asked, "Are you ok?!?!"
I say, "You look like a jack-o-lantern."
The Social Chairman, in an areyou___ingkiddingme tone said, "More like a JackASS-O- Lantern."
Did it stop O'Shame? No. Even being told you look like a human snaggle-toothed jack-o-lantern couldn't stop that train. And it is awesome when being drunk and hooking up is FAR more important than your health. God forbid you miss a tongue dance while you take a time out to get your smacked gob looked at by medical personnel.
Now all the rest of you little pumpkins, be good this Halloween. MiniMac is dressing up as a blue m&m. Have a safe and fabulous weekend. And like the black cats, don't let any jackass-o-lanterns cross your path.