Monday, October 11, 2010

Is this your first time working a hose?

In law school, I went with my then beau to his parents house one afternoon. The purpose: a grill out (Non-college style. Translation: no tasty libations.) We lounged about outside in the sun chatting and playing with his dog. At one point, his Father goes to the driveway to wash his vehicle. Mine, covered in dust, needed a bath as well so we queued up for some soap and suds. His parents had an amazing lawn and garden which would justify the reason the sprayer on the end of the hose looked like it was built by NASA.

When it was our turn to wash my mobile, his Father asked me if I needed a quick demo on how to use this gadget. Me, considering myself capable of the task at hand, reply without thinking “I’ve handled a few hoses.” To which, then beau bursts out laughing. Double entendre, please sit down.

Well, I did need a demo because the first time I put the hose down, I dropped it on the handle which activated the hose. Have you ever seen those sitcom-like situations where the hose whips around like the tail of Black Lab and sprays everything in sight? Well, I wished it was that scene. Because instead, the hose was precariously close to me so when the handle engaged, the stream sprayed straight up into my face.  At full force.

My need to turn it off was instant, however, my ability to see the actual nozzle highly impacted by the water spraying in my face. My hindered vision similar to Mr. McGoo in a snow storm. My then boyfriend intervened ONLY after he watched, laughed, called his Dad to witness the melee, and then laughed some more. Perhaps a little less sass on my part would have provoked a little earlier help.

By the time the mere minutes passed, I was completely drenched. Adding insult to injury was that it turned out to be an imperfect day to wear a white t-shirt.

And for years afterward, I would be hazed about how I just couldn’t handle the hose.

An impromptu wet t-shirt contest at the home of your boyfriend’s conservative parents? NOT recommended.

30 comments:

Jules said...

Oh Lordy! Hopefully you can handle a hose better these days! ;)

the walking man said...

I guess the moral of the story is the bigger the entendre the wetter the shirt eh?

singedwingangel said...

rofl... ok I am laughing with you.. I mean you are laughing now right?? You're not?? Oh my bad I'm sorry *sneaking away quietly

Hookin It With Mr. Lick Lick said...

I've handled a few hoses now and then...glad mine didn't get away from me. LOL...great story JennyMac for a Monday morning...I needed that!

Simply Suthern said...

Funny how them things tend to land handle down, Nozzle up HUh?? LOL

They are extremely dangerous, Thats why I dont wash my car.

Liza said...

Did this last week with our own, regular hose. Dropped it on its handle in the driveway and then danced around after it. Embarrassing? Yes. Soaked? Yes. White T-shirt? No.

Badass Geek said...

Maybe it's not recommended, but I'm sure it was appreciated.

SoccerMom said...

So not where I thought this story was going. But funny none the less.

First impressions are everything. SOunds like you made a great one.

Eva Gallant said...

So as a young woman in college, you told your boyfriend's father that you'd "handled a few hoses". Hmmm....wonder what he thought of that! Great post!

Mommy Lisa said...

Oy!

Helena Halme said...

Love this, very funny. xx

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure you've handled plenty of hoses since then.

Ed said...

HAhahahahahahaha!

That's just awesome!

Pricilla said...

I hope it was a warm day at least...

foxy said...

I totally had a visual throughout this story... SO FUNNY!

Intense Guy said...

Well, perhaps because of this, you will give little MiniMac some leeway when he "misses". :)

Allyson & Jere said...

Ummm YIKES!!! That is seriously a moment straight out of a movie. One where you roll your eyes and say, that would NEVER happen in REAL LIFE! Except, uh, apparently it DOES happen in YOUR real life. HILARIOUS!

I love your random memories.

Babes Mami said...

OH Jenny Mac, count on you for a hilarious story!

SmartBear said...

And when exactly did this courtship end? LOL! That's a classic story.
Best,
Tina

Emily said...

LOL! Serves you right for washing your own car...that's what boys are for! :)

Mighty M said...

And yet you never gave up handling hoses... :)

injaynesworld said...

Better then than now. You'd find your wet t-shirted self posted all over the Internet and your lack of hose technique would follow you the rest of your days. ;)

Maria said...

Rule to remember: Never wear white to a barbeque while in college. Ever. And always get the tutorial on new equipment.

J.J. in L.A. said...

As you probably know by now, my my mind went to an entirely different place when I read the title. lol!

And you're right about the spelling of wiener. I kept coming across the word today while cruising the 'net...I hate when that happens. ; )

Little Ms J said...

Fan.Tastic.

K A B L O O E Y said...

This was either a scene from a Cameron Diaz movie or it will be one when she plays you in The Jenny Mac Story.

shortmama said...

Why thats just good clean fun!

DaisyGal said...

oh no recommended..but FUNNNNNY!!!!!

you poor girl, and I can tell you are "good with hoses" but that one just got away from you ;)

pressure washer hose said...

Interesting post! I enjoyed reading your post. I also use hose and really enjoyed using it. Anyway, later on you will learn how to use properly the hose. Thanks for sharing.

-seff-

Anonymous said...

hysterical. Did it teach you a lesson about being sassy?