Monday, April 19, 2010

She is the redhead

Back in the day while still under the supervision and roof of my parents, I discovered my Mom to be much wiser and craftier than I had perhaps given credit. Case in point:

One weekend during my freshman year of high school, I told my parents I needed to go to a girlfriend's house to study. I believe I was on restriction for accepting a ride to school from an older boy after expressly told not to do so. I lobbied that mere restriction should not interfere with education. I also added that my schooling should not suffer for one tiny mistake. My mom, likely sick of my endless need to debate, agreed I could go and study. 

Later that evening, returning from my get together, my Mom inquired on my afternoon. Did I learn a lot? Did I feel smarter? I enthusiastically answered yes to both. 

"Oh, by the way, I answered your phone earlier." (I had my own line and phone number in the house because this was well before cell phones or call waiting and my parents wanted to actually place or receive a call on occasion.)

"You did?" I ask. It was very rare for my parents to do this because of giggling girlfriends and stammering boys. While we did not have caller ID, I certainly had an answering machine so there was no need for my parents to trouble themselves.

Her: I did. A boy named Chris called.
Me: Hmmmm, Chris. (Forging nonchalance and not very well.)
Her: Do you know Chris?
Me: Chris, Chris, Chris...let me think
Her: He said he and his friends met you, D., and J. today. At the mall. (Mall= perfect place to meet boys back in the day.)
Me: Did he say that?
Her: He did. And he wanted to know if you were the blond or one of the brunettes. 
Me: What did you say?
Her: I told him you were the redhead. OH, and that you are only 13 years old. And then he hung up.
Me: (Silent surely with mouth hanging open.)
Her: Oh, and enjoy extended restriction.

Curses. I did not enjoy extended restriction and at the time I believe I said, " WhatEVER Mom! I am SO SURE!"

Although, now as a parent, I think excellent retort, Mom! How impressive. Proof that parents can stay one step ahead.

Do not lie to your parents or they will tell a cute boy you met you are only 13 (how did she pick this age? Because at 14, this is how old I looked. And I certainly did not look 17 which was the age I had an accidental habit of telling boys.) But shame on that boy in the first place because he couldn't keep the names straight. Word to boys: Don't ask a girl's Mommy to help you sort it out. I would have told him myself but Chris never called me back.

84 comments:

Jules said...

Oh to the days when being older was a good thing....

Mommakin said...

I read this to my fourteen year old daughter this morning. As a cautionary tale. You've done your good deed for the day.

Cara Smith said...

Oooppps!

My mom always called ahead and talked to whoevers mom before I got clearance to leave the house.

jinksy said...

So you didn't rush for the hair dye, then? lol :)

Merri Ann said...

Ha Ha Ha ... I think I had the same parents. I never got away with much.

Very funny story ... thanks for the laugh this morning.

Slamdunk said...

You almost dated Chris Speilman? Or maybe it was Chris Rock?

Funny story.

Matthew said...

On the plus side, at least your parents were involved in deterring the opposite sex. Me, I didn't need any help back when I was thirteen!

mo.stoneskin said...

Your mums response is genius. I hope you are learning to walk in her footsteps and employ the same wit and skill?

Lauren said...

That sounds like something I did as a child. And something my mom said to me when I got caught! Although my mom didn't called "extended restriction" but preferred the phrase "grounded for life!" And it felt like a lifetime!

Simply Suthern said...

In our small community we know the parents of most the kids friends. We talk and know alot but not all that goes on. My wife busted my middle girl by reading facebook. She was grounded for a while.

I flat out told her new boyfriend if something happened to my baby his life would not be worth much.

I heard them walking to the car. She was trying to tell him I was joking, he wernt so convinced of that. He is pretty polite now.

BigSis said...

My parents got a lot smarter when I became a parent. Funny thing, huh?

I'm trying to convince my 9 year old that I ALWAYS find out when he's lying, but I know my days are numbered...

The Red Headed Mama said...

Oh, I love it!!

Lanita @ A Mother's Hood said...

Life was so much easier when we had land lines instead of cell phones...fewer kids had cars, not more...and the mall was the place to hang out, rather than God knows where they hang out now. I'm all for GPS embedded devices in their heads.

TKW said...

Oh those crafty mothers! Always squashing our teenage groove.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I was always getting busted lying as a teenager. I gave up.

McVal said...

LOVE it! our parents were much smarter than we thought... One time my 17 yo at the time was leaving to go somewhere with a ditsy friend. About 10 minutes later, this said friend called our house asking for a name of someone that we didn't approve of and forbade our son to hang around with. I was shocked but played along and said that this person is not home and what number can I call her back at if he should come home.
Then a few minutes later (after talking to my hubby about it and planning revenge) I called the number and asked the girl if they had just called for this bad person. She said, "Yes! Oh he'll be so glad to talk to him!" I said, "Let me talk with Ryan..." As soon as he got on the phone, I told him to turn around and come right back home. He was upset... Apparently the girl thought she knew the bad kids number by heart but she was wrong. It was our home number. We still talk to her as she is still one of his closest friends. She could prove useful in the future...

The Boob Nazi said...

haha That's hilarious.

Eric said...

It was hard enough to talk to girls back then, much less some kind of awkward dialog with the parents. Props to dim boy.

JenJen said...

My god we could have been twins...minus the redhead part.

Emily said...

Oh how I hated hearing the word "restriction"!
Did you learn to turn your ringer off on your phone when you were out after that? ;)

The Empress said...

Oh, that was classic.

Good job, mom!

Eva Gallant said...

When my kids were teenagers, the extension phone in my bedroom was defective. You could hear phone conversations without picking up the receiver. I found it to be a very handy defect. I told the boys about it when they were grown. My youngest said, no wonder you were always onto us! Now that he has a teenage daughter he asked if I still had that phone; he wanted to buy it from me! lol

Kristina P. said...

Parents always find out!!

Herding Cats said...

P.S. Your mom is funny! That's awesome. And hello boy? How dumb can you be?

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

I LOVE your mom!!! That is sooo what I would do (um, have done) to my teen. My well-developed, much-older-looking-than-she-is teen. Exactly as I was at her age.

It helps that we've been through these things before. They totally don't get that, though. It adds to our mystique a bit, doesn't it??

"How the HELL did she know that???"

Love it :D

Dumblond said...

Ah yes. The days when you wanted to be older than you were...To have those days return.
I got alot of that kind of attention when I was between the ages of 12-15. But I never gave out my phone number. I did not have my own phone line and my dad was intimidating...even over the phone.

jayme said...

I feel like I could tell that exact same story! too funny!!

AmyLK said...

Cute! I will have to remember some whitty lines for when Son is out and trying to be about. lol

Brian Miller said...

teehee. there is a certain wisdom that comes with having kids...that we often though our parents were stupid for when we were younger. smiles.

Tiffany said...

I <3 your Mom!! Hilarious.

Tiffany said...

I <3 your Mom!! Hilarious.

Jessica said...

Did you have one of those cool see through phones? Haha

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

That is a riot!

Mommy Lisa said...

Ha ha ha ha! I love your mom!

WhatEVER! I am SO SURE!

Pricilla said...

Moms always know, don't they?

Barbaloot said...

Brilliant. Props to your mom:)

Jen said...

LOL! Your mom was one smart cookie!

And, dude, I completely forgot about middle school and second lines and how I always wanted my own! I was a late cell phone subscriber, but it still seems like they've been around forever!

Baloney said...

Chris sounds like a real winner! I just walked to the neighborhood park to meet boys at that age. I was just "going for a bike ride."
My mom never let up on restrictions. I used to hate that but now it helps me with my kiddos. Gotta mean what you say.

IASoupMama said...

Well played by your mother. Bravo!

As for me, well, my younger sister looked older than I did, so if boys from my grade were calling the house, it was for her. She also got into way more trouble than I did. More boobs than brain... Good thing I love her!

shortmama said...

Your mom is brilliant

Aging Mommy said...

You learn eventually don't you that Moms ALWAYS find out what you've been up to!

Vivienne said...

Moms always find out. You've inspired me to write up one of my own "got caught" tales.

Chris was a 'dork.

Joann Mannix said...

Hi!!! I'm back from spring break vacation, ignoring the laundry as I visit all my blog friends.

Good work, Mom!

I recently busted my 15 year old daughter after she told me she was one place and I found out she was at another.

I set her up good just like your mamma did and then I let her have it with both barrels of empowering truth. She actually started to cry and told me she was relieved to finally get out the truth. That it was killing her to keep it from me. I think the pain of her restriction was even more.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

He didn't even know who he was trying to call? "The blond or one of the brunettes."
Smooth move Chris.

Erin at I'm Gonna Kill Him said...

God, I hope I can be as savvy as your mom. The GPS chip I inserted through their nostrils way into their cranial cavity while they were sleeping should help, though.

Science Teacher Mommy said...

Oh, I think your mother and I would get along VERY well.

GlowinGirl said...

Oh, your mom rocks! I hope I'm that brilliant when my kids are teenagers.

That poor, pitiful boy . . .

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Smart mama!

K A B L O O E Y said...

Smart mom, dumb boy. I have to say, I really wish I'd try to get away with more when I was younger. By the time I started doing things my parents wouldn't approve of, I was out of the damn house. Whatevs.

Tracie said...

My mom was a former teacher/current elementary school principal and ALL the boys were scared of her. I found out years later that she would answer the phone when I was gone and tell them to never call again. And they didn't. *sad face*

Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF said...

This reminds me of last week's (brilliant) Modern Family. Do you watch? Cause it's amazing. The mother is all upset that her middle daughter is starting to act like a teenager, and the daughter is all "Mom, I appreciate you. I know it's hard for you that I'm growing up but I'll always be your little girl. Can I have $20?" To which mom says "Oh,thank you for saying that, of course I'll give you $20. In fact, how about $40?" Then, she gives daughter the money and, when the daughter is surrounded by her teeny bopper friends, yells out the car window "Alex, honey, use that money to buy a training bra for your little boobies? Okay darling? Mommy loves you!" It was a definite, "shows her not to mess with me" moment. Just like your mom. I hope to be them both one day!

jessalyn said...

smart mom. my mom's boss lived across the street from the boy i wasn't supposed to hang out with, so needless to say, i always got caught. and it always ended with "whatEVER mom. you can't pick my friends! (door slam)"

why did we think whatEVER was such a good come back?

A Year on the Grill said...

a very funny story... smart woman that mom

brainella said...

D'oh! Busted. I learned early not to lie; saved me much pain over the years. And then I enjoyed watching my sister never learn the lesson.

Summer said...

Hahaha. That's funny.

Unfortunately, I had two older brothers that followed me around to ensure chastity by intimidation. This day and age, they'd call it "cock blocking." BTW you were so lucky that you had you're own line. I would have been ridiculously jealous of you back in the day.

Christiejolu said...

Love the story! The mall was such a great place to meet boys!

Amalie said...

ha! I love how when we were teens we really thought we could outsmart our mom. Dad, yes, but not mom!

Ela said...

First things first, I've missed your blog!

Oh your mom is good!

Oh the mall and the appeal of meeting at the mall. Definitely the place to be back in the day. Nowadays I hate the mall for that very reason - rampant with teenagers giggling at each and trying to pick each other up...I hate it, LOL.

Um, up until about 4 years ago I could still pass for 13 :)

NotJustAnotherJen said...

Were you/Are you the redhead?

Myya said...

Your mom was on top of things! I hope I can be too in ohhh say about 10-12 years from now. Chris was dumb... what boy at that age willingly talks to parents when they call a "private" line. Duh!

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

Life is funny like that. I think most of us did not appreciate the smarts and quick wit of our mothers until we became mothers. Your mother came up with the perfect reply.

Writing Without Periods! said...

What a great story.
Mary

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

Too funny, this is a classic laugh, Jenny!

sharonheg said...

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHA! One point for mom!

Just Breathe said...

You mom was really awesome. I have always told my children that lies will always come back to haunt you and they see that now! Great story.

M-Cat said...

I officially love your Mom!

I should have been quicker on my feet with my boys!

J.J. said...

When I was 14, my mom thought it was okay for me to hang out with my 15 year old (female) cousin and my 16, 17, and 19 year old brothers.

She was wrong. lol!

leigh said...

Mall love was the BEST.

ModernMom said...

Oh your Mom is amazing. I am so going to remember this one for my girls:)

JoAnn's Daughter said...

OOH! So busted. What an excellent story - now, anyway. Back then I'm sure you thought she ruined your life. Love this story!

Kristy said...

Yay for mommies! We are awesome. Thinking back, my mom always went with the guilt route. Left a loving, long letter on my bed after I got home from my secret boyfriend's house (I had told her I was at my friend's). Then, I had to bear the weight of that all night. Mom's are good, man.

Erin said...

When I was 14, I was far too shy and awkward to even approach a 17 year-old boy, much less meet one at the mall!

I'm nervous for my daughters' teen years. I can only hope they'll behave.

Tami G said...

LMAO - my son has already started asking me....."HOW do you know EVERYTHING???"
man I hope that paranoia lasts....
ha ha

Ed said...

Cock blocked by mom. Good move by her.

secret agent woman said...

Oh, snap!

HalfAsstic.com said...

HAHAHA! Good one, Mom!
I'll tell you what's worse!
When Kessa was 13 she looked every bit of 19. Walking along behind her and her friends in the mall was one of the hardest things to do as a parent. I remember John and I having to restrain one another from screaming at the twenty-something boys that were breaking their necks looking at her that "SHE'S ONLY THIRTEEN!". God, it made my skin crawl!

Mighty M said...

Your mom gets the sharp retorts of the year award. We'll just give it to her now.

I'm sure she would like to thank you for giving her so much to retort about! :)

Intense Guy said...

Well... you can see where you got your brains from!

Laoch of Chicago said...

This seems like fine advice really but I fear I will not get to use it in the future.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I hated when I got "busted" by my mom! Redhead really?
<><

Laura said...

another great story. You really should write a book.

having fun catching up. xx

Laura said...

btw Laura is Vodka Logic

Clemson Girl said...

Well played mamma, well played. I will have to remember this little tidbit for any future daughters of mine. The hubs will love it.

Working Mommy said...

Darn mom for being so smart...her and her wittiness!! Makes you think, though, how long it took for her to come up with that answer...knowing my mom she would have had a spiral bound notebook filled with smart comebacks like that!!