Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Let's just put our libido back in the suitcase

A Mommy and Daddy take their 2 year old son to Cabo San Lucas. Mommy & Daddy (M&D) share a room with young son. M&D realize quickly the time change is going to be the catalyst to everyone rising VERY EARLY each day. The downside is when night time arrives and little man falls asleep, M&D might be extra tired too. M&D have not been able to have any "alone time" of the saucy variety. No pants party? Not happening.

One day, while little man is finishing breakfast, M&D decide to let him watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse as subterfuge so M&D can sneak off together.

Mommy and Daddy feel confident he will be enthralled since Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is toddler narcotic. Except they can’t sneak off too far just in case because Mommy is worried little man will open the sliding glass door he finds fascinating and walk right off the open patio. M&D decide to sneak into the hall where the large open doors of the armoire will block little man from seeing any adult shenanigans.

M&D attempt to hurry. M&D remain as covered as possible. That is not as fun as it sounds. But M&D are getting a moment and as M&D attempt to enjoy this rare moment of adults only time, they suddenly hear a voice.

“What are you doing guys?”

Mommy and Daddy look down to see a tiny face on the ground looking up from the 5 inch space below the open armoire door.

Daddy, every quick with a retort, says, “We are exercising!”

Little Man giggles and says, “You look FUNNY when you are exercising Mommy and Daddy!”

A witness while you do the hallway lambada? Not good.
The fact you are basically fully clothed though? Awesome.
That a voice would ask what it is exactly you are doing? Not good.
A quick cover up that you are exercising: Genius.
A child's commentary about that exercise? Not good for the libido. Or the memory. But especially the libido.

Children even seeing your exercise, even if they are only two at the time and likely can't suffer irreversible visual scarring?

Great motivation for putting your libido right back in the suitcase until you return home. Or at least until you get more creative.

82 comments:

Jules said...

Thanks again for ANOTHER birth control story!!!!

kathryn said...

Oh, God! Been there, done that...got the t-shirt! Next time (for oh, there will be a next time, maybe you can booby trap the hallway with some carefully positioned cellophane on the floor. That kid is like a ninja...you've gotta hear him coming somehow!

Oh, and you may have to mimic some of your more memorable exercise faces the next time you actually work out...ya know...for confirmation...in case he has any doubts...

Mom in High Heels said...

Bwahahahahahaha! That's what hotel bathroom is for silly! Or the spaces behind the other bed, between the bed and the wall (you know, when the kid is asleep).

the walking man said...

Most hotel facilities do have approved child care facilities that could be used. I would suggest you purchase a three hour ticket.

mo.stoneskin said...

Does Mickey Mouse Clubhouse claim to be toddler narcotic in the brochure? I went to their website and couldn't find anything on that.

I wonder if EVERY couple will one day be interrupted by one of their kids and whether it is only a matter of time.

Brian Miller said...

oh my...not only scarring the kid but potentially D & M as well...wondering if a lurker is hiding right around the corner the next time. smiles.

Joann Mannix said...

Thank Goodness for clothed exercising!

I agree, a booby trap of some sort or perhaps bells on the boy. You know, like a cat collar.

JKing. We told one of our girls the same thing when caught mattress dancing and we were actually on the mattress. We told her we were doing a workout video made for exercise in bed.

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

HA, not an issue for us - hubby would never entertain the thought of doing that when the kids were around. For him, conscious kids have the same affect as a VERY cold swimming pool. VERY COLD. *sigh*

Ginny said...

SHOWER. That is all I have to say about it. Unless of course there are no showers in said hotel room. And if a 2 yo asks about the shower, M&D are simply saving water.
Awesome post!

SmartBear said...

Ok so 1.) this is why I wish he could stay in his crib tent until he is 5 and 2.) this is why I insisted on a 2 room suite for our summer vacation. What in the hell will we do when he is in a big boy bed? Sigh....

*uncorked said...

Jules took my comment - seriously, just one more reason I am sticking with dogs instead of babies. Fortunately, I never walked in on my parents. I did hear them once or twice and learned that when I heard their bedroom door lock at night, I should go sleep in my brother's room on the other side of the couch.

Linda said...

ROTFL!! Been there and done that! I agree, on the floor, other side of bed after said child is asleep. Good Luck, as they get 'older' harder to exercise on vacation unless separate rooms.

Linda said...

ROTFL!! Been there and done that! I agree, on the floor, other side of bed after said child is asleep. Good Luck, as they get 'older' harder to exercise on vacation unless separate rooms.

The Boob Nazi said...

Exercising? Talk about a quick mind!

Cee said...

hahaha! I really really hope Little Man was very little at the time and won't recall this memory later and make the connection.

C.J. said...

nothing like hearing a child's voice asking what you are doing to kill the moment. :) We used to lock out bedroom door but then later didn't bother doing that as the girls learned that when our door was closed we were having "adult time". Much later, girls were in there 30's they told us that even at a young age they knew what we were doing in there. Ye God's, so much for the pillow over the mouth theory. lol

Intense Guy said...

LOL @ kathryn. You could make up a t-shirt saying, "You look FUNNY when you are exercising Mommy and Daddy!" I'll leave the clever graphic design to someone else...

:)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Oh my!!! I swear I will just die if my kids ever catch me. But good save! LOL

Christine Macdonald said...

Nice one! I think we all have these stories! :)

MommaKiss said...

Let me know if you want to try a group rate on therapy for our kids when they're grown up and remember these 'incidents'

Mine's in for years already. Years!

Mommy Lisa said...

Not as bad as the step-son walking in on me NAKED and getting ready for work!

Ed said...

Remember those days.

Now with 3, we never even try anymore. I'm like a sex camel. I can go months without it.

Aging Mommy said...

Never happened to us and I hope it never will. Because I know like everyone that just the thought of your parents having sex is weird. Having to witness them actually doing it? Beyond imaginable!!!

Eric said...

Yikes...

Wait a minute, my mom and dad told me they were tickling each other that one time...

Cara Smith said...

Always fun when you get caught by the young ones. Not!

This is why we bring the in-laws everywhere we go. We get a sitter at least one night of the trip.

NotJustAnotherJen said...

We have yet had a vacation with the boys. Is there ever any chance for action? If we're in some exotic locale (other than our parents' homes...lol) I want something more than exercising with clothes on!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Dear Jenny,

What I am about to tell you might shock you. You are going to have to put your libido back in your suitcase and may have to leave it there until your little macs are lets see. 30.

Except for the occasional romp in the laundry room, the shed, the car, storage space in the basement. Otherwise, you may have to put little mac in your backyard and give him some colouring books. Not that I would have had experience in these suggestions.

HalfAsstic.com said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!Can't. Stop. Laughing.
Bless your heart, Jenny Mac! And hubby's too, of course.
Next time there is an opportunity to go to Cabo, I think the inlaws need to get a visit from MiniMac!

Elle said...

I agree with Jules; this is a great birth control post!

Thanks for sharing this hilarious, though I'm sure embarassing, post! Seems like kids must encourage one to have a quick mind, which is a great skill to have. Excercising?! Well, that's just brilliant!

obladi oblada said...

Cabo brings out the creativity in a person for sure! We have gone before we adopted the kids..and now when we go with them, we will need to be creative too. However, one of those resorts with the kids activities that keep them busy might be a good idea too.

Little Ms Blogger said...

#1 - Mini Mac is going to be so confused the first time he participates in co-ed gym; and

#2 - You just promoted the babysitting business by 1000% for adult time out.

extra #3 - Jules cracked me up with her comment.

foxy said...

Now, I'm not speaking from experience here, but I'm guessing that feat takes a lot of skill! Good try. And better luck next time!

Slamdunk said...

Hilarious and 4 stars for the quick witted "exercising" response. This story reminds me of why I should be nicknamed monsignor our lack of time away from kiddos.

Erin said...

We haven't been caught (yet). Now that I am leaving this comment, I'm sure we're doomed.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA!

p.s. my gals adore Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. It's like kiddie crack.

Buckeroomama said...

That has to happen sometime. It's a rite of passage for every M&D. Welcome to the club!

Myya said...

Love your description! I.am.laughing.so.hard.right.now! :)

janis said...

Reminded me of a story from when I taught PreSchool. Little "Tommy" says, "boy my Mom & Dad kept me up KISSING last night!". "Casie" says, Kissing? "What do you mean? My Mommy & Daddy kiss all the time & kissing doesnt make nosie."
I try to change the subject. I sidetrack them for a nano-second..
Tommy says, "boy, mine do! It sounds like this...(use your imagination)."
Now Bobby & Mary are joining the "conversation". I try again to distract the conversation...for another nano-second. Before I know what is happening, the class of 4-5 yr olds are comparing notes... I have a littel something to discuss with the parents now as I am sure they will hear this from the children!
Kids do say the darnest things!

Ashley Stone said...

oh no! haha, at least he won't remember!

Tiffany said...

Oh boy! Been there!! We got caught during the winter olympics...and my 8 year old said "What are you doing?" and Matt said "Watching the Olympics...that's why we were yelling...at the TV!" HA HA!!

Pricilla said...

Aaaah, the publicist celebrates her childless marriage....

Jewels For Hope said...

ha ha ha omg! That was a great story lol

Uptown Girl said...

OMG! Life with kids sounds so adventurous!

carma said...

I'd skip the "getting more creative" part; look how well it worked out the first time!

M-Cat said...

At least the little man calls them like he sees them : )

And after 25 years and 3 sons who are super nosy - there isn't much sacred at our house. It's why hotel sex is so much funner!

Eva Gallant said...

Too funny! though not at the time, I'm sure.

Vivienne said...

Definitely been there. A few different times, actually. (Perhaps all my kids will be scarred...?)

What no one seems to have thought about is that you may have instilled a love of exercise in little MiniMac. Perhaps he won't grow up to be a pasty, Mickey Mouse Club addicted couch potato; but rather, a hale, hearty, can't-wait-to-work-out, strapping specimin of a Mac.

Well done!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

OMG!!!BWAHAHAHAHA!
<><

Midday Escapades said...

From personal experience, I say get it where and when you can. Enjoy our bodies before they expire is my motto.

A Year on the Grill said...

funny story... wonder if there is anyone parents of a three year old who has never been "caught"

That One Mom said...

We got conjoined rooms and a two bedroom suite on this last trip.

Still very little nooky :(

DeNae said...

"Don't come in! Dad's on the phone! And I'm in the tub!"

That's the only thing that saved us last month. And the potentially traumatized kid? 17 y.o. Yep. There would have been no un-ringing of THAT bell for her!

Ellen said...

Oh gosh! Well, you weren't tell a lie...sex can burn quite a few calories. It most certainly counts as exercise :)

http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/

McVal said...

OOPS! Great cover story tho!

Salt said...

Here's to hoping that he won't fully remember any of this lest it cause him major confusion later on in life. :)

Secretia said...

Just try again and again and again.

Writing Without Periods! said...

That's a great cover up. Very creative.
Mary

Simply Mel said...

The libido bubble busters are at it again....I always assume this is just my crumb's way of insuring she remains the ONLY child~

Mrsblogalot said...

LOL! exercising!

I love you.

The Constant Complainer said...

Great post. Admittedly, I agree the "we are exercising" comment was brilliant and quick. Very impressive.

Unfortunately, I was that kid many years ago. Ug, the sight still haunts me to this day.

shortmama said...

Thankfully we have made it 8+ years so far without being caught in the act!!

Dumblond said...

One time is all it takes...
We lock our door but one time, our son (he was four at the time) figured out how to disengage the lock from the other side. My husband moved like lightening to prevent the door from opening all the way and exposing us. Now, it is drilled into our children that if our door is locked, you must knock!
I am still scarred just from hearing my parents and their nocturnal activities.

JenJen said...

Darn kids! Who taught them to walk? And talk? AND inquire??

lil shits.

:)
been there sunshine.

citymouse said...

You haven't earned your parent stripes until you have a booga booga booga story. (Aptly named in our house because that's what our son decided to say when he sneaked up on us and tried to scare us. Needless to say, he scared the bejesus out of us and over 10 years later we still cringe.)

Mc Allen said...

wow. what to even say... You got caught, dead tyo rights, but wow~ what quick thinking~~~ baaaahaaaaa!!!! We. Have. NOT. been caught~ yet~~ ( And I do not want to zinx it, lol!!) xoxo LA

J.J. said...

Try being a 22 year old and sharing a hotel room with your mom and her new hubby.

Waking up in the middle of the night is NOT recommended! ***shudder***

Herding Cats said...

That's tooooo funny! Well, hey, at least it makes a good story AND chances are, he'll never remember!

Bossy Betty said...

Oh yes. Scarring the kids is part of the deal....

Amalie said...

SO funny! thanks for the laugh!!

ViennaGirl said...

Oh my...i hope he does not remember (and you soon forget..SO hilarious.)

Jen said...

Awesome story :) and great cover! Now after 4 kids, I'm thinking my libido is in cold storage somewhere, but I'm not sure as I haven't seen it in a while...

Baloney said...

Two words -- KIDS CLUB

Amy said...

We used to call it wrestling. The kids (I have six) thought we really, really liked wrestling.

secret agent woman said...

As much as I love sex, I could never bring myself to do it if there was a chance there might be an underage witness. Not even when they were infants. It's the ultimate buzz kill for me.

TKW said...

Just found your blog! I love it, and I especially love this story!

It makes me feel much better about our nookie-free family Spring Break trip this year!

Kristin said...

And someday he will tell his friends about the time he saw his M & D exercising. Ah ha ha. Priceless!

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Wahahaha. I am so sorry! But good for you guys to have hots for each other so much so that you were willing to risk it. ;-)

Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

Oh my this story is so freaking cute! Love it!

Susanica said...

The boy walked away from Mickey? I've never heard of such a thing. We believe it is the strongest toddler narcotic going. This changes everything! Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!! -Monica

Mighty M said...

That is too funny - hopefully he doesn't try to tell anyone how his M&D get their exercise! :)

Sara said...

hahahahahahaha

Oh, your blog always makes me laugh. This was the funniest thing I've read today!

T!nK said...

baby bendadryl. works wonders for car rides, whenever you want a few minutes or hours, etc.

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

Behind the armoire doors fully clothed? You Rock Jenny Mac!