Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Women over 30 shouldn't do crack

Over the weekend, I popped into Nordstrom for a new belt. In my shopping endeavors, I stumbled across a fabulous pair of Joe's Jeans on such significant sale, they might as well have been tied in a bow and handed to me. AND in my size. I saunter into the dressing room, because one more pair of jeans can never hurt, and try them on. 

Backside slathered in denim, I use the three way mirror to look at the caboose from every conceivable angle. You do this too? Oh, you don't? Me either. 

Just kidding. Of course I do. I LOVED these jeans but noticed the tag indicated low rise. Now, all my parts were fully covered but I know from experience, you need to do the "Sit Test" in low rise jeans for prevention of donning them for lunch one day and give some unsuspecting diner a peep show. 

To do the Sit Test in a dressing room is a little challenging, because you can't merely sit. You must sit and be able to observe your situation.  Finally, twisting myself just short of Cirque du Soleil style, I got the view.  And then I saw it.

And my first thought was "Wow. They should have wrote low, low, low rise."
My second thought was "WOW. That is a lot of crack."
My third thought was "Uh oh, I don't do crack."
My final thought looking at that view: "DAMMIT. I love these jeans!"

Now there was a time when I showed the bare tummy in the navel grazing shirts. And wore the tiny shorts with high heels. If I had the cleavage, I would have bared that too on sultry summer nights. But some of these low rise jeans are showing so much skin. But I am out of that age range and you know it is fashion unbecoming when you can see more crack than Whitney Houston.

And women over 30 should not do crack. At least this woman over 30. But, many a girl has tried to rationalize a purchase like this. You try to tell yourself you will wear a long sweater. You won't. And like me, many a girl has a purchase or two in the closet not ready for wear because of technical difficulties. Leaving the dressing room, I had a fleeting thought that maybe these could be my 'stand up only' jeans. What a terrible idea to have 'stand up only' jeans. And even then, I might wear them out, enjoy a cocktail or two, and whoops, I forget the jeans are limited in their range.  No need for that to be on display hence a photo shows up on FB with the caption "Showing more ass than a night at The Bunny Ranch" (and not dipped in flattery.)

So belt purchase = perfect. Jeans purchase = reshelved. A perfect example that crack is not always addictive.

130 comments:

Mom in High Heels said...

It is so hard to find jeans that aren't crack revealing. How annoying. Even my Michael Kors and Seven jeans MUST be worn with a belt to keep the plumber butt away. What is wrong with designers? The ladies over 30 are generally the only ones who can afford the high end jeans. Why cut them for a 17 year old, no hipped, non-child baring girl who can only look a them and WISH she had the money for them? Stupid designers. I don't mean that! I love you Michael Kors! Your jeans can make any ass look fabulous.

Secretia said...

Ha ha, it happens to us all, when we sit and lean forward, there is often more of our backsides exposed than we would believe-it's never flattering! Butt-ha ha!

Secretia

My name is PJ. said...

Ah, but you didn't buy it or use it.....so you nipped the addiction in the bud. Proof that you have the makings of a GREAT sponsor in a 12-step fashion group!

JennyMac, saving the world one fashion victim at a time.....

Tia said...

I hate crack!! I have to cut my circulation off with my belt, thus ruining my chances to further reproduce, just to avoid giving the guys at work a peek in my picnic basket. So unfair.

mo.stoneskin said...

...and you went back to tiny shorts with high heels.

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

I applaud your discipline in putting those jeans back! I wish some of our fellow forty-something sisters would do the same! I am SO tired of looking at cracks!! When will they raise these waistbands?? WHEN??!!!

Slamdunk said...

I believe your title applies to those below 30 as well. I have seen way too many moonsets offered up by teen moms and dads helping their children at our local indoor kid playland.

I have no interest in retribution though, and am surprised that the establishment does not send me a monthly check to continue wearing sweats while I am there.

Mommakin said...

You stayed strong. Good for you. This is such a universal issue - you'd really think they'd come up with something - less than mom jeans but more than - well - that.

FWIW, I would've definitely convinced myself that I could use a pair of standing only jeans...

So many times I've been out with the hubs and he'll comment on a young girl who tugs at her skirt with each step she takes - he'll ask why she bothered to wear something that needed constant adjustments. I tell him she stood still in front of a mirror and thought she looked great. She didn't remember that she'd be walking and/or sitting at some point...

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Glad you avoided the crack. I avoid it too. It is hard to find jeans that don't reveal crack though.

Chrissy MacCEO said...

This is freakin hilarious! Love it!

MommaKiss said...

crack kills

Will Burke said...

When I see that look, I'll say to whoever's close: "look, they're coin-operated!"

darsden said...

now that's funny !

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

IF ONLY more women would dress age-appropriately! It doesn't surprise me that you have dress-savvy though, JM.

"Just say NO to crack" is something I'm always telling my teen. I've also been known to state "Just because you can get it over your head does NOT mean it fits."

singedwingangel said...

OK see I am not a big jeans girl in the first place.. for that very reason.. I have a funky shaped no legs no toso thing going on so they all become low rise on me lol

Simply Suthern said...

I don't really think a large part of the under 30 crowd really cares that a large part of their under 30butt is hanging out. I really dont appreciate it at all when the wife swats me when we walk by while they are stooped over trying to choose between Cocoa Puffs and Coco Krispies. My only thought was I wish I had a qurter to drop in.

Vinomom said...

I'm under 30 and I don't do crack either. I can't do low rise because they sit directly on my fat roll giving me that lovely "Muffin Top". Way to Abstain.

Sarah said...

Too funny. I hate low rise jeans for that reason AND I hate being almost 31 and not knowing where exactly I should be shopping. Seems to be a weird age. Not young, not old...argh

leigh said...

You are officially a woman. When you can pass up good jeans like that then you have come into your own.

I'm proud of you, my crack covering friend.

Eric said...

Just imagine how much more your tool belt would drag that stuff down.

Cee said...

I think it should be women over 20 shouldn't do crack. Back in high school it was actually kind of cool to have your underware sticking out but now it makes me want to barf!

Brian Miller said...

i would venture to puport that men over 30 should not do crack either...eww...

The Boob Nazi said...

I'm all about long undershirts. I'm known for showing my underwear because my pants always fall down. I'm working on it!

jules said...

Even girls under 30's shouldn't show crack. NO one should show crack.

Oh, but short shorts and high heels how I adore thee.

Is it summer yet?

Glad you found a belt. :-)

Intense Guy said...

I must be really odd, because I enjoy crack (on women only)...

:) Oh well - you probably should develop an exercise DVD showing your moves in the dressing room. Sounds like you get a pretty good workout.

Johana Hill said...

I never do the Sit Test but seeing that I'll be 30 soon I think I need to start.

Erin said...

I had a girls' night out last week and we went for sushi. We sat in the back room w/ shoes off at the low tables (such fun). We had had several bottles of wine when I noticed a "Crack" sitting opposite us. she was wearing a tube top w/ her low low low low rise jeans. I couldn't help myself--I said (rather too loudly), "doesn't she feel the draft?" and we all started
CRACKing up. First we thought she'd heard us, but clearly if she had, she'd have adjusted her jeans.

I, too, am a fan of the long tank tops underneath whatever. Don't want any whale tale either, ya know?

;-)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Just over 30? I don't think anyone should do crack. I don't find crack attractive on anyone!

confused homemaker said...

I know what's up with the jeans out there? I don't need them up to my neck but I also want my arse covered.

And I'm impressed with your restraint, I've seen lots of ladies out there lacking it (oh, do they ever).

Christine Macdonald said...

...and matching velvet tracksuits. Any age. Remember Amy Polar's character as the 'cool mom' in Mean Girls??

Comedy at its finest.

Khak said...

HILARIOUS! I am glad that I am not the only one with this problem. I have also pondered buying a pair of jeans that I could not sit down in. I do NOT suggest it.

Bossy Betty said...

As a college teacher, I see crack on a daily basis. I am all done with all crack, all ages, all sizes. Oh yes.

Scrappy Girl said...

I really really really dislike seeing crack...the other day in the western store I saw a extra yucky crack...I think I need to go get my vision tested now.

Laura said...

Well said. I too have turned down a good pair of jeans due to crack. That being said I have seen some young twenty-somethings that shouldn't be wearing crack either!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Good for you! Im not sure that I could have been able to walk away!

Vivienne said...

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joe's Jeans that are a perfect fit and ridiculously low priced? Why not buy stand-up only jeans? There's nothing wrong with that?
Maybe they're still there and you can go back...

Eva Gallant said...

All I can say is, Amen, Sister!

Annette said...

Low-rise jeans look ridiculous on most people, regardless of age, when standing and EVERYONE when sitting! Builders Bum is not a good look on ANYONE! Yeuch!

foxy said...

Man, I LOVE me some Joe's Jeans. They're so soft, they're like pj's. But the too-low low rise is definitely a no-no. Agreed. And probably would've made me reshelve them too. What a bummer though!!

SamiJoe said...

LOVE it and i agree...we definitely are too old for crack!

carissajade said...

I'm not sure ANYONE should do crack!! I have no idea what these Joes Jeans are that you speak of.. I'm so out of it when it comes to fashion. But judging by everyone's comments, I guess I need to check em' out!

Barbaloot said...

I don't think women over 30 are the only ones exempt from doing crack. I'd put in a vote for the whole world should just avoid it. Do people really wanna be that trashy?

JenJen said...

My Joe's are "muse" and they were NOT ON SALE.
grumble *&^%$$^& and other bad words.
And? crack is whack.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Amen to that!! :)

Sorry the 'perfect' jeans were only good for crack addiction. I marvel at your self control. ;)

Kristina P. said...

This is when you wear an extra long cami!

Elle said...

This post is brilliantly funny! I know it probably hurt to put back the lovely, discounted jeans, but you should congratulate yourself on being adult enough to realize "crack is whack."

It bums me out that the majority of jeans nowadays are low rise, or super-duper-show-half-your-ass low rise. I have convinced myself that I could have standing only jeans. Yeah...that definitely hasn't worked out so well.

Ellen said...

I was just realizing the abundance of crack I had going on in my skinny jeans this am. But, I'm 29. At least I have another year before it's totally and utterly unacceptable!

http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/

MommaAmma said...

Oh how we rationalize a great sale. Every pair of super dark denim in my closet says "low rise" on the tag. I'm alllllmost 30 and the only jeans I can bear to see myself in are those trousers that are always on the clearance rack because everyone else knows they make your legs and arse look huge and 20 years older than it is. But I do buy the low rise. Just in case.

FunnyGal KAT said...

Been there, done that, bought the jeans anyway and lived to regret it (although there are no Facebook photos that I know of!) And I still find it hard not to wear those jeans because they are just so much more comfortable that the waist-high ones. But I have a rule that they only get worn with long shirts. I think that's kept me covered so far.

Jennifer Juniper said...

I can't do crack either. You know, sometimes you buy them anyway and think you'll just pull them up...but then you're faced with an entirely different frontal situation no one needs to see either!

Ms Bibi said...

It's so hard to find good fitting jeans at least for me and then find out the crack issue is just heartbreaking.

I noticed so many jeans are geared toward the crack showing these days. What's with that? Not a big fan over here. Stores should have a section for over 30 no crack jeans to save us time.

Poindexter said...

Oh, I would so hate it if I found fabulous jeans on sale and that low rise problem presented itself! Damn!

Robin said...

Crack kills..but Mom jeans murder..which is worse...?..Id take the stand up ones..why not..if they look that good..WTH?

When Pigs Fly said...

Great post! That is so frustrating but I think you made the right call. Women under 30 should not be showing any form of crack, period. There are certain looks that should not be shared. Ones that remind me of a plumber definitely should be shelved.

AmyLK said...

Good that you resisted the call of the awesome pricing. Excessive crack is not a good look on some people.

Shorty said...

I am not a fan of crack at any age, and would love for the low rise and/or the low, low rise to go away completely! Frankly, I'm so tired of seeing crack and muffin tops galore when I go anywhere. And when you live in (practically) the fat capital of America you see a lot of crack and muffins. Yuck. Well, I guess if I must find the silver lining... all the crack and muffins serve as a constant reminder of what not to eat and to not sit on my butt too long!

HalfAsstic.com said...

See, my physical shortcomings make these a pair of jeans I could totally get away with. I am short-waisted and the blouse sweater or tee I would wear would easily be long enough to cover any... crackups.
My problem is all my height is in my legs and unless I can find jeans in "Longs" I am outa luck.
Oh, you SO did the right thing in putting them back. ;-)

Christopher said...

Yet another reason I'm glad I'm a guy. I just make sure they don't suffocate my junk and I'm done in the dressing room.

Rebecca Knight said...

I remember when I was 18 a sales woman tried to convince me that if I showed a little crack "it wouldn't be a bad thing," winking lasciviously at me and making me squirm uncomfortably.

She was 104.

I was mortified.

Crack ISN'T the "new cleavage!" Just say NO, ladies!

Alyssa said...

I love my Joe's jeans. I do have to wear them with a belt, but I adore the way they fit and feel...Last year I bought Joe's jeans for Lil Bits (I got a great discount, don't worry) Well, that was a sight to see! They're cut just like the women's...imagine, if you will, a 3 year old carrying that off!!! Needless to say, she wore each pair only once.

K A B L O O E Y said...

Sigh. I don't even know what Joe's jeans are. Now I feel very old. Loved the extensive rationalization process and the phrase "'stand up only' jeans" and good for you for taking a stand against crack. But like the parents who show up at parent-teacher conferences were surely not the ones you needed to talk to, you are certainly not the biggest offender here. Unless you've hired someone to play you on the blog.

shortmama said...

This is why being over 30 isnt so crack-tastic!

jenn w/ 2 n's said...

Story of my life honey... In the words of Sir Mixalot I've got little in the middle but I got much back. Once I find jeans that can fit my azz there's a huge gap where I could carry a small child papoose style in the small of my back. And no, those jeans don't pass the "sit test"

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Agreed on the crack thing. I still like something with a medium/low rise but nothing that's bordering on indecent. My fave jeans are Levi's (yes Levi's!) 542s which come in jeans or trouser jean styles (I like the regular boot cut) and they have a really great low but not too low rise that tapers up at the back so you have the low rise front but more coverage in the back so you can pass the sit test easily. I guess it all depends on body shape but for me they're awesome as I can rock the low rise without flashing anyone the ass cleavage. :)

Pricilla said...

Odd how the choice seems to be "mom" jeans or whore jeans.

Where is the middle ground?!

Midday Escapades said...

Alas, I have to agree with you. I've had to give up crack (among many other things) a while back. :0)

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Ah, stopping spoiling all our crack fun!
*Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*

kathryn said...

Sweetie, I applaud the level of self-control required for you to "just say no".

I'm sure it wasn't easy.

What you failed to mention was that surreptitious duck into the jewelry department for a little bling as your consolation prize.

Don't deny it...surveillance cameras don't lie...

Perfectly Shelly said...

Hi! I found your Blog via Ms. Darkstar.....

I'll add it to my daily read!!

I never try on clothes. I just keep receipts!!

blueviolet said...

I like the sorta low rise jeans, not the ultra low. I have one pair of ultra low rise and the only place I've ever worn them is in my bedroom trying them on in front of the mirror before I take them off and put them back on my shelf with tags intact.

Christiejolu said...

Yeah I try not to do low rise. I just don't feel like they are comfortable. In my 20's I may have, I had the belly button pierced and showed it off.

By the way I tagged you on my blog!

Existential Waitress said...

Couldn't agree more about the crack issue. Now that I'm 35 I'm really starting to seriously evaluate what is "appropriate" for my age. I just don't want to be one of those women that so obviously is trying to deperately cling to her youth (remember the mom in Mean Girls? Shuddering).

Grand Pooba said...

Spot on, my friend, spot on!

Oh the sit down test. I have failed the sit down test many times and have rationalized the same as you for the reason why I should still buy the jeans anyway.

Luckily I am just barely under the age limit so I haven't broken any fashion rules. Yet.

Guess I better enjoy my crack as long as I can.

The Warrior in ME said...

Haha! You totally speak my mind here! This woman who feels like she's over 50, shouldn't do crack either- imagine sitting in a cafe with a delicious cup of coffee and a couple long lost friends in front of view but all you could do was to watch your rear- ugh! not worth the cracking effort!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Ha! Crack is hard to turn away. Especially Nordstrom's sale crack. I've got a few things that will never see anywhere but the sad light of my closet. Like that Tadashi dress that was a steal and that sweater from Brass Plum that I should have SO known better about.

Sigh. It happens to the best of us.

LiLu said...

Dude. I have a pair of Joe's.

I only wish I'd noticed their crack problem BEFORE purchasing... because now I'm addicted.

To the jeans... not crack. Well?

ThatGirl39 said...

Ah I sat here chortling out loud to myself - despite strange looks from husband! I have done the justifying it to myself talk SO many times... about SO many items of clothing! The long sweater thing in this instance doesn't work as when you bend over to attend to your Small Child, it rides up, the jeans ride down and before you know it, someone's been and parked their bike where they shouldn't have! (Sorry for the charming English expression but that's what we say when someone show's off too much crack!) I for one will now be borrowing your Whitney Houston line - far more lady like! x

Maria said...

Too funny...Whay can't they make grown up jeans that fit right? Anyone?

DeNae said...

I know 18-year olds who shouldn't do crack. And although I've never been a member of the thong club, I've seen enough of them on misguided souls who really did believe they were covering their assets by wearing one.

Girls, there are three billion women in the world, and six of them are supermodels. Of those six, four have their cracks airbrushed out of their photos, and the other two are holograms.

No one, at any age, male or female, should do crack. Just say no.

Kate@And Then I Was a Mom said...

And with age comes wisdom.

Mighty M said...

You couldn't use the belt to hold up the jeans, or at least secure them so tightly they would not move when you sit down? :) I love how we try to talk ourselves into buying things we know won't end up wearing! "Stand up jeans...". Too funny!

J.J. said...

My life is a 'sit test'. lol! And I haven't worn jeans since high school...decades before low-rise became popular.

otin said...

Nice that us guys don't have these problems. I wear high rise sweat pants! LOL

Dustjacket Attic said...

You are not the only one to have that mad thought flash through your head that they could be "stand up only" jeans, in a desperate bid to justify the purchase.....Oh Lord!
xxx

janis said...

I loved this! I too have to do the "Crack test". And I hate it when I fail. I never had a crack when I was in my twenties and that is when jeans were "high waisted". I also have a couple of pair of stand up only jeans/crops/shorts. What a shame. So sad :(

Lauren said...

Crack is bad for everyone. Only my four year old looks cute with crack...and I even make her pull up her pants!

A Year on the Grill said...

it was a wise choice you know...

I still remember when my wife cried when she had to toss her leather low rise skirts... she had 4 in 4 different colors - 2 suade

citymouse said...

The really twisted thing is I kept thinking you could just wear a long sweater...lol (until you pointed out that flaw in that logic). I personally think whoever is responsible for low rise jeans will burn in hell one day.

Conquer The Monkey said...

oh how i am sick of the crack baring jeans!!!! c'mon people, even teens look like jackasses in crack showing jeans!!!!

Ed said...

Buttcrack is only bad on over weight plumbers.

I'm sure yours would have created many anew addicts.

Pink Haired Momma said...

I have the pleasure of bing between non plus and plus size right now, therfore all jeansare awkward and funky feeling and revealing. I do not want to even get into the akwardness of a almost full plus size trying on some jeans in the tiny ittle changing rooms. Fabulous maybe ut low rise jeans and dressing room friendly i am not! Great post!

Thanks for popping over to my blog today!

secret agent woman said...

I'm a Levis fan and loved hip huggers, but hated the whole sit-down problem. But now Levi's makes a "curvy cut" that is low across the hips in front and a bit higher in the back Perfect.

Jen said...

I was just thinking 'standing only jeans' when there it was in your post :) very sensible of you! Nothing less attractive than crack on a lady.

Jen said...

Kudos to you for walking away! I don't think I would have been that strong; I don't think I would even do the "sit test" because I always buy low-rise jeans, and I usually only realize that maybe I should have tested them in the store when I'm out and about, and whoops, there's my whale's tail, if you know what I mean.

Keeping this with me for the next time I go jeans shopping; there will be a sit test!

Little Ms J said...

See, I would never have this problem because I have negative ass. A concave ass if you will. My jeans tend to pucker in the rear, so I have to say - I may have jumped up and down to find a pair of low rise that gave me butt cleavage.

Herding Cats said...

I've heard Joe's Jeans are pretty fabulous. Is it true? And why so?

Snooty Primadona said...

Gee. All of a sudden you have me missing my *mom jeans* & knowing I never had to check for crack. Now I'm wondering...

Very funny post!

I'm Jane said...

Y'all are right when you say there is NOTHING in between low rise and - what are the calling them now - high rise? high waist? Jessica Simpson rise? And do those look good anybody? Really?

Low rise with a belt. Long-ish shirt. Comfortable heels so you don't have to sit down. After all, it is better to look good than to feel good.

Tami G said...

You are stronger than I girlfriend.. I'm a sucker for a HOT pair of jeans... and on sale... I could NOT have walked away.
No doubt I WOULD have dubbed them "standing only" jeans OR "long sweater and boots jeans.... would have justified the purchase all the way out the front door!!!

OH I'm such a jean WHORE!!!!! LOL

Lauren said...

Who cares if your asscrack shows? If the jeans are hot then you can rock the butt cleavage!

Heather Taylor said...

Could you please tell the world about not showing crack? I used to work at a bakery cafe where I saw my boss' crack at 5:30 every morning. Not exactly the crack of dawn you want.

Ela said...

I'm proud of you for putting them back JM :) I do hate to see the plumber butt...on anyone no matter how old or in shate they are. It drives me wild. And NOT in a good way, LOL.

Laurie said...

Dropping in from SITS. I love the title. And yes no crack please. During the low-rise craze a few years ago, I had to endure over 30 crack, ahem, in all places, church. You see I go to a hippie church where jeans are the way to go to worship, but I draw the line at some of the half moons I saw. I am glad the low-rise phenom seems to be abating. Otherwise I could never endure another service at said church.

Simone said...

"Stand up only jeans"....love it!

Very funny post JennyMac....nothing worse than a plumber's butt, especially with a thong showing above it, ugh :)

Closer to Lucy said...

SO glad to see that I'm not the only one unsold on the whole butt crack being the new clevage!

AnnQ said...

I hear you on the butt crack thing....I've always thought it looked a bit lame. When I wear low rise jeans, I make damn sure I bend VERY CAREFULLY, and wear something on top that's a bit longer than I did eight years ago. :-)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am glad you came to your senses.
I see far too many women who don't take the 'sit test' and they should!!!

Sara Plays House said...

Ugh I have this problem too! But. With my DAUGHTER'S jeans. Yes, my four year old and two year old have a lot of junk in the trunk, but is it really necessary to make toddler low rise jeans? Isn't it bad enough that adult women have to deal with this?
There needs to be a congressional hearing, I'm just sure of it.
Crack is whack, yo.

Tiffany said...

The sit test is a must!!! Glad you restrained yourself.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I forgot to do the sit test once because I was with my daughter and was distracted.

They are now my Clean The House Jeans and damn if I don't look great in them!

Following you now. You have a fabulous blog!

Salt said...

Low rise used to be my jam, but I can't do it anymore. I have one pair left and I feel like I'm mooning everyone when I wear them (and I probably am). I think your Sit Test is brilliant!

The Random Blogette said...

So proud of you! I cannot wear low rise anymore, even though I love the way most of them look on me. It sucks getting older. Say no to crack!

Baloney said...

I have bought a few pair of "long shirt" jeans. I find myself checking the back any time I lean over.
I hate, hate, hate this low rise craze.

Holly said...

I actually think no one should do crack. I remember walking around thew pier one day and a young girl was seated on the elevated patio...so the crack was at eye level...no ones crack is that appealing in public.

The Constant Complainer said...

Jenny Mac, I just got back from Vegas, and needless to say, there were quite a few examples of people doing crack (and it affecting their clothing) to be seen while I was there. LOL.

Yankee Girl said...

I don't care how old or young someone is. NO ONE should show crack!

Nowheymama said...

I'm in maternity jeans at the moment, which I have to hitch up 1,000 times a day. *Sigh*

Kato said...

Oh this made me laugh and made me sad at the same time!

I am that woman, still wanting to squeeze the pillows into super tiny low rise jeans. The kind of jeans I have worn my whole life. Even when I was two.

Sigh. I should just switch to the maroon slacks and get it over with...

Karls said...

Hahaha! I'm lucky to get jeans that will slide over my popeye calves, so a bit of plumbers crack (as us Aussies call it) is not even on the agenda.

On another note: When ever my mates and I see a girlfriend sporting a little crack we shove a dollar coin in to play the slot machines.

jessalyn said...

i am so bad about saying no to super duper clearances on designer items. i have a pair of stuart weitzman heels that make me want to die because they are so small. but i bought them anyway. and wear them like once a year...
you are a stronger woman than i.

Ms. Salti said...

Well done! I'm proud of you!

Wendy Wiseman said...

First of all, I was just turned onto your blog, and I am going to join!....great reading!

Regarding crack, forget over 30...how about over 50? Finding anything higher than low rise is a miracle. However, I did find J Brand jeans that are actually (gasp) high rise, and worth EVERY darn penny!

See you again soon, and thanks for the laugh!

Suzanne Westover said...

You totally inspired me to purge my closet of items hung over from my crack bearing twenties. Dear God, I even found a one piece red jump suit with bell bottom leggings and a zip front. I can say it is from the days when I worked on a cruise ship - which is true - but that still does not make it RIGHT.

http://suzannewestover.blogspot.com/2010/03/sin-cupboard.html

Jessica said...

Good stuff!! Following you back from FF! =)

More than a Mom said...

Love the post! And TOTALLY agree!

Following you from Friday Follow! Happy Friday to you!
http://more-than-a-mommy.blogspot.com

The Absence of Alternatives said...

LOL. I love the title of this post. Clever. :-) Well, I wish women that are featured on this website peopleofwalmart.com would heed this advice...

And may we say: men should never ever do crack?!

Life with Kaishon said...

I admire your restraint. : )

Life with Kaishon said...

I admire your restraint. : )

T!nK said...

I've officially gained too much weight. I went to H&M the other day. Tried on a size BIGGER than what I normally wear, and could barely button the fly. I cried for three hours in the fetal position.

Babes Mami said...

LOL, no crack at any age!!