Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Motley who?

I was thick as thieves with four banditas my freshman year of college: Muppet, Smack, KitKat, and K.O. Whether we were at a dance club or supposed to be studying, we simply had too much fun together. So when the opportunity arose early in fall semester for us to attend a concert together, of course we would go. The band: Motley Crue. Them: Fans.  Me: Not remotely a fan except I did like one song.

Smack’s older brother, BK, a giant hulk of a boy, was having a pre-party at his apartment. Perfect. As we all dress and convene to go to his apartment, I am met with four pairs of puzzled eyes.  "What?" I ask.
"Is that what you are wearing to the concert"  asked of me in unison.
"Yes, it is."

They are layered in various combinations of denim and black. I am wearing a bright red mock turtleneck, crisply pressed navy walking shorts, red and navy argyle socks, and penny loafers. Clearly, I was not a head banger and had never been to a Crue concert. My outfit du preppy not frequently seen at a concert. I was not aware that the only attire needed by women at a Crue concert was spiral perm, pasties, and underwear that could be quickly removed to throw on stage. And even though they didn't have these costumes either, off we went. Motley Crue: not exactly singing hymnals.

When we arrive at BK’s apartment, he takes one look at me and says, “You look ridiculous.”
I ignore him primarily because you can’t tell someone in argyle they look ridiculous when you are wearing tucked and rolled acid wash jeans and a jean jacket with rips all over it.

I pony up to the keg and am handed a giant glass. I can’t say that I had ever consumed 32 ounces of beer at one time. Maybe over an entire evening at this point in my drinking career but not at one time especially when it was only about 4 in the afternoon. But, I certainly do my best. An hour or so passes and I step outside. I believe there was a Marlboro Light involved.  More time passes and everyone gathers to leave. Although, I can’t be sure because I was curled up on the front porch taking a nap.

When my gal pals attempt to rouse me, it can not be done. As in, I am down for the count. BK is highly irritated with the antics. He opts to leave me there which is met with fierce resistance from my girlfriends (THANK YOU, girlfriends!) The departure includes a brisk walk to the stadium from BK's apartment. I mean, it involves a brisk walk for them. BK likely attempts to once more to advocate for leaving me on the porch to fend for myself. Once again, he is told no.

So he has to carry me fireman style over a mile back to my residence hall. He does so grudgingly and not before he says plenty of sweet things to me. Luckily, beer has soundproofed my existence. I wake up hours later feeling none too well. In fact, the only thing that seems to be a good idea is to open my 2nd story window and hang my head out of it. Cool night air washing me with minor relief. And then I am sick. At the precise minute my sweet and innocent Japanese exchange student roommate walks in with her study group. Welcome to America Shoko! You won the roommate lottery.

Luckily, she felt sorry for me having not a clue that I did this to myself. When the girls came home from the concert, they found me in the same position. But I rallied back and we were still able to have a very fun night after the concert. Oh, youth. Gives us such elasticity. And when people asked me about the concert, I simply said, “Motley who?”

And then I blamed in on the argyle prejudice.
And BK.

PS: He only hated me forever 
for a long time  
forever being nominated as the one to carry me all the way home. We never made up.

And I have never been to another Crue concert either. 

62 comments:

mommytoalot said...

OMG too funny..
gosh the good ole days..for me anyhow..
..
you would have been called a poser in my days..
...how was your head the next day?

The Girl said...

I believe they call that - partying like a rock star.

Slamdunk said...

That would have might quite a photo opp--you and your garb "Shouting at the Devil."

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I don't know man. Any girl who wears Argyle anything to a Motley Crue concert is not a girl at all. She's a dude, with BIG HAIRY BALLS.

Or maybe just slightly mentally deficient. I'm just saying. :)

the walking man said...

Should have taken your fashion tips from the name of the band...MOTLEY...that said I personally would have gone with the argyle and in a kilt.

Simply Suthern said...

All dressed up and no where to go. Sounds like you were lookin good. Ya prolly would not have enjoyed it anyways.

The Boob Nazi said...

I always try to dress for the concert I'm going to.... Because I'd totally wear argyle to a concert too.

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

Hahaha :D I can totally see you doing that.

You didn't miss anything as far as I'm concerned, except maybe a giant headache from the noise they called music. Clearly not a fan either ;)

Have an awesome day!

Jules said...

I'm pretty sure my argyle is what made my hippie hubby fall deeply in love with me. That and my tights under my shorts..... Ahhhh..... Those were the days....

Cara Smith said...

That is funny! I once wore a white roxy sweater over a pastel cami and white loafers to a Black Label Society Concert.

In my defense, I went straigt from work and while I like the music, my husband is the uber fan.

Badass Geek said...

It's "Dr Feelgood", isn't it?

Ed said...

Lightweight.

Hahahahaha

Melissa said...

Oh! I would have loved to go to a Motley Crue concert! My sister got me into all those 80's hair bands. I think I was the only 4th grader who listened to Cinderella!LOL

Will Burke said...

I sat next to a similar character at a Manson concert. Fortunately, we were in the balcony, so she was out of reach of the rabid fans.

Eva Gallant said...

that is too funny; who knew there was argyle prejudice?

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I want to see a picture of that outfit! LOL

Leiah said...

On our first trip out of town together, my ex-husband took me to a concert where Warrant opened for Motley Crew who was the opening act for Ozzy. What...an eye-opener. (Said in my best Chelsea Handler imitation)

Anne said...

Just came over from The Girl Next Door and I already LOVE your blog. You had me at "Cocktail" ;) Following, and will be back for more!!!

Darla said...

Too bad we didn't live in the digital age we do, now, where every step of our lives are documented by photos, or YouTube videos.

Wait........never mind. I'm really glad we didn't, back then. Can you imagine the stuff our generation would have to put on YouTube!?! Haha!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I wouldn't have fit in at a Crew concert either.

Laoch of Chicago said...

No doubt that the most important thing you preserved that evening was your hearing.

Erin said...

I have never been to a Crue concert, and only had a brief stint in high school where I pretended to like them so the cool kids would think I was cool, too.

Would pay to see pics of you in those argyle socks. ANd hanging your head out the window. LOL!

No One Reads The Copy said...

I love the Crue.
Went to a concert tho, and never felt more out of place in my life. Lots of leopard prints. And cougar wannabes.

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

Hate you missed the Crue in concert, it was some of the best entertainment out there in their day.
Tell me GNR wasn't opening for them then?
Seeing Axel sing Sweet Child o Mine was one of the most memorable "live" performances of our time.

Stephanie Faris said...

Ahhh Motley Crue. I think you were in college around the same time I was...

Krëg said...

Actually, scientists have discovered there is no discernible difference in human brain activity between subjects attending a Mötley Crüe concert and those barfing out of a window.

carma said...

Walking shorts at a Crue concert? that may have been a first ever!!

Bossy Betty said...

Still making those fashion statements these days. I remember (and don't remember) concerts like this in college.

Ms Bibi said...

I miss the college days and the days of argyle.Those were the good ol' days I can only dream about now.

Aging Mommy said...

Oh how funny - isn't it always the way they when trying to be "cool" we fail so dismally?!?

Uptown Girl said...

I too would've opted for a night at home puking my brains out rather than go to a Motley concert.

Why can't I bouce back after something like that anymore? Age=killer.

Dumblond said...

It's probably better that you missed out on the concert. Getting dragged to a concert featuring an artist that you have no interest in is not.fun.
My ex took me to a Tim McGraw/Faith Hill concert and I was sooo bored. I was probably the only one who sat down in my seat for 90% of the concert.

Jen said...

LMAO! You know, sometimes I feel like the girl in argyle at a Motley Crue concert! I hate that feeling.

Simone said...

Brilliantly funny JennyMac....and quite an outfit you were sporting...love it :)

Emily said...

Girl, that is a hilarious story! And remind me to make fun of you for owning and wearing penny loafers! ;)

Joann Mannix said...

Motley Crue, not much to miss.

I had the same experience with a 32 oz, (not kidding) margarita. It was a legal drink at the time. I didn't make it to Aerosmith and I'm pretty sure there was vomit involved on my date's front door. But, that's about all I remember.

foxy said...

Oh girl - that's a funny one! I would've looked at you like you were crazy too - all in your argyle. :) Those were the days, huh???

Intense Guy said...

...hmm... It sounds like you were never (ever) to a Crue concert...

:)

Mighty M said...

Motley Crue's loss for sure! :)

(ps: don't think you missed much either!)

ModernMom said...

You and I so could have been friends. I rocked the penny loafers:)

M-Cat said...

Oh that's funny! Argyle at a Crue concert!

Splenda and I once went to a Ratt concert. We didn't even find our seats before realizing we were in way over our heads. Somehow I thought the same crowd at the Van Halen gig would be at the Ratt show.

I was wrong.

Mommy Lisa said...

Crap. I did that on my 17th birthday - except it was .38 Special, two beers and two shots of root beer schnapps.

Ick.

I too was the one mocked by my friend and these two random guys she knew for wearing walking shorts and a cute top.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

That is something I would have done. I was super prerry since I worked at a golf course. I used to think wearing black was for sluts!!! Oh how I am glad I grew up!

Together We Save said...

Oh My!!!

Secretia said...

Maybe it was all very lucky? if we drink beer like the men do, we'll get the same pot bellies!

Secretia

Ellen said...

Way to rally! (Not that I would expect anything less ;) And yeah...my best friend in college wore a Lily Pulitzer dress to an EMINEM concert with me. Needless to say, she stood out, but I got her to wave her middle finger in the air like she just didn't care, and she blended in a bit better.

http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/

Baloney said...

I can't believe you rallied after that! What a woman!

shortmama said...

Me and Crue....no can do

Unknown Mami said...

Isn't there a saying, "argyles before beer, never sicker"?

Eric said...

The Crue? I thought this was 'The Cure'. *walks off dejectedly*

My first concert was Ted Nugent when I was 14. Kind of a bad influence in some ways.

Aunt Juicebox said...

Ahhhh the good ole days! lol I don't think I've ever owned anything argyle. Or anything Motley Crue.

Leah Rubin said...

Your so-called friends should have intervened on the argyles in question... BK might have handled it all differently had you been dressed in ripped jeans... After all, this was Motley Crue, not Glenn Miller!

Tsquared417 said...

I'm still laughing about your outfit...holds side....

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Oh, and just think about the good time you could have had. Pity.

:)

T!nK said...

isn't that what it's all about anyway!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

I was a huge Crue fan back in my single days and would have loved to see them in concert! Don't think I would have been one of those bimbos though with the pasties and trick undies Lol!

mama-face said...

Your outfit...bwahahahaha. :)

Stephanie said...

This made my day! What great memories. If it makes you feel any better, I don't actually remember the concert. The last thing I remember is Smack and I walking up the hill singing "Dr. Feelgood" at the top of our lungs. Good times.

On a similar note, the other day in bodyPump, "She's my Cherry Pie" was on. Guess who I thought of?

XO

obladi oblada said...

I liked the Crue. I have been to one or two of their shows, without Argyle though....sorry. Funny story though.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Ah, Motley Crue. You didn't miss anything, I am quite sure. Ick.
However, I am guessing you didn't have too much fun doing your "own thing" while your friends were there. Heh, Poor new room mate!

SMACK said...

Hmmm, Smack, here...I don't quite recall all that about my brother, but then I must have had a bit to drink, too! Thanks for the walk down memory lane (although most of the night does seem to not be remembered by most of us!)!

Anonymous said...

BK here...I totally forgot about this episode of fun with the 5 Amigos. No hard feelings Jen...I was more peeved at the bruthas for not helping carry you back to the dorm...at least I got a good workout carrying you well over a mile, especially with the incline. :)

Sorry to say, the argyle outfit was not kosher for a Crue concert. You did miss a great one, including Tommy Lee's solo act. Good times and good memories...hope all is well.