Multiple times I have successfully convinced JohnnyMac volunteering is a great way to spend a few hours on the weekend. I think JohnnyMac would make his own list of great ways to spend a few hours on the weekend that would look like this:
Lay in bed in silence while my wife spends a few hours volunteering
Drink my coffee in silence while my wife spends a few hours volunteering
Watch SportsCenter in silence while my wife spends a few hours volunteering
But he is a great sport and this particular weekend was a perfect example. The volunteer job du jour? Playing bingo at a retirement community.The woman who runs the program is wonderful and this volunteer assignment is easy and fun. We simply help the residents with their bingo cards, call Bingo, check the cards when someone wins, and pass out tasty treats.
This particular Saturday, there was a new resident. He was a little grumpier than his compatriots but it didn’t phase me. And he had a formidable winning streak early on. And then wow, he was clearly quite lucky since he won about a dozen games straight.
Except he was cheating. The game is for fun and he is not winning an escape from the retirement community so I smile and play along. And then he demands more prizes. I am not the Bingo KGB but the Director encourages me to handle it. I attempt to tag JohnnyMac into the fray which only makes JohnnyMac laugh and go elsewhere.
But just because you cheat at bingo, does not mean you're nutty.
Then Mr. Grumpy told me I look like Carly Simon. I don’t but I said thank you. Then Mr. Grumpy told me Carly Simon is one of all-time favorite singers. I have some Carly Simon on my iPod so I agree with him. Then Mr. Grumpy tells me he has been writing letters to Carly Simon. Every week for decades. And decades. Then he told me he proposed to Carly Simon.
Just because you cheat at bingo, does not mean you're nutty. Actually being nutty makes you nutty.
I was as nice as I could be to Mr. Grumpy the rest of the day. Cheat at bingo and propose to Carly Simon all you want, Old Timer. When I am old, if I want to cheat at bingo, and wear Jackie O glasses with Bo Derek braids, I don't need a little whippersnapper telling me otherwise.
But the sweetest woman of the day was Miss May. Miss May loved to play bingo and as she studied her cards, she came up short each round (primarily because of cheater pants.) But she kept with it. And then, at the turn of the hour, Miss May got that critical B29 and yelled “SWEET JESUS, I WON.” Pure happiness over a simple game of bingo.
I adored Miss May.
And her SWEET JESUS.
And she never once cheated.
Or told me I look like Carly Simon.