Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Teenage Girl Repellent

When I was a youngster, I was a bit of a late bloomer. And by "bit" I certainly mean I was the last one in the door to puberty. In 7th grade, I finally became a woman, or in reality, an already hormonal girl suddenly with a reason to buy feminine products.

My older brother had a friend for whom I had a mad, mad crush. I would always ask my brother about him. And this friend was at our house frequently so I made myself very present during these visits as only annoying younger sisters can do.

One afternoon that summer found me, my brother, and a mixed bag of our friends all lounging about the pool. The cacophony of 12 and 13 year old girls talking about C.Thomas Howell and Adam Ant songs only worsened by the rude commentary and fart jokes of teenage boys.

But my big crush was there. And at one point, he said to me, "I like your swimsuit."

This old thing? I can't believe he noticed me, after all, casually parading in front of him only a few 2oo times. I showed my grace and poise by smiling and politely thanking him shouting OHMYGOD-YOUDO?!?!?!

I sat down in a chair near him and started chatting with him about my brother's Van Halen album of which I had committed all lyrics to memory and thought this trivia would be impressive in an cool, older boy kind of way. He was very kind to me and his bemused look I mistook for a fraction of interest.

Until he leaned over and in a low voice said, "You have something hanging out of your suit."

Me, ever quick on her feet, quickly excused myself asked the single dumbest question available at that moment: Really? What?

He, being so much older and mature, merely answered: I think it might be your tampon string.

I know he was trying to be helpful hence my brother find this out and I be mocked into ruination. I rose immediately giving off a crimson hue of hideous embarrassment.

My tampon string. The mere discussion of it serving as a verbal version of him spraying "Girl B Gone: Teenage girl repellent" all over himself. Had he known that one simple sentence would be the catalyst to me avoiding him like the plague for a minimum of one year, he might have used it sooner.

117 comments:

The Savage said...

I wouldn't say over-share nor would I comment with TMI. It's more of a, Wow.... Uhhhh.... errr... mmmmm Yeah. I can't quite formulate a response...

Jules said...

Oh.My.God. That has to have been your most embarrassing moment EVER!!!!!!!

Matthew said...

Oh.

Ah.

Yeah - that's kind of a killer.

SUGAR said...

ahahha ooooooh that is not good! iv been with my boyfriend two years and i still get really really embarassed whenever i have to buy uum "lady things" whenever we go shopping... some things i guess you never grow out of!

sugar
xoxo

Not The Rockefellers said...

Awww...but he was sweet enough to tell you privately and not put it on blast...

cringing for you :)

Peace ~ Rene

mo.stoneskin said...

Wow. That is pretty impressive actually.

Gillian said...

Oh My! Haven't we all had our tampon string stickin' out our swimsuit but when you're 13 its devastating and to hear it from a boy you fancy!?!? OMW!!! swallow me up!

Deanne said...

Oh yes - the fond memories of girlhood... You are just bringing mine all back today! Ha ha! Great story!

Christina Lee said...

Holy crap!! No wonder it's one that sticks with you!!

Mom in High Heels said...

Bwahahaha! Something very similar happened to a friend of mine, but it WAS her brother who pointed it out. Oh, the horror.

Passion Fruit said...

Just look at the guys' responses to the story. So now we know if we ever want to shut a male up we just have to bring up tampon strings.

As I had just hit puberty I once saw a girl on the street wearing hotpants. She, too, had the tampon string sticking out. That's when I made a pact with myself to always, ALWAYS make sure that doesn't happen to me.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am cracking up...not in a laughing at you kind of way...in a if I had been there I would have been cracking up kind of way.

American in Norway said...

OMG... I can so relate... thanks for the laugh!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh MY LORD. I turned red FOR you reading this. You poor thing...I imagine this was the end of the world for you at the time!!!!!


ps...I was way later coming through the door than you and still had my embarrassing mistakes made known. It is a wonder we ever make it to adulthood.

Lauren said...

That is traumatizing! Being a teenage girl isn't scary enough but throw that into the mix and you're going to be in therapy forever.

the walking man said...

I am certain that even though your experience was just a few years past that today a young lady of the same age would have reacted quite differently.

The Peach Tart said...

I had something similar happen in high school. Mortifying.

Slamdunk said...

As a guy... I am... speechless wiht this post...

Menopausal New Mom said...

OMG, the horror you must have felt!!! I can remember how embarrassing it was at that age to even admit periods existed! An encounter like that would have had me sitting in the therapist's chair, for that year!!

Joshua said...

That sucks. About as close as I can come is standing in front of a classroom in high school reading some report or paper I'd done, and realizing as I sat down that my fly was hanging wide open the whole time. I think you win. Sadly.

-Joshua

Kate said...

That's some story.... Not a good moment I would imagine! The horrors of being a teenager. I'm glad they're past, although not so pleased that thery're so LONG past....

stepfabulous said...

I was the lucky one, who did NOT start until I was almost 18. :) I avoided those disasters thankfully, as both my older brothers had gone off to college.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Ohhhh how embarrassing! As a former adolescent girl myself, I can totally understand the soul-searing humiliation that would come along with such a scenario. Yikes.

And you thought you were a late bloomer - I didn't start my period until I was FIFTEEN! I guess some would call that lucky, but I was just freaked out.


And I never did develop the big boobs I was hoping for. *sigh*

KatieSPerk said...

Oh my gosh. I feel for your teenage self. That would have been horrible!!

Chic Mama said...

Poor poor teenage you. I am sitting here cringing and sinking into my chair with embarrassment for you.
Have you ever got over it? x

AnnQ said...

OH NO!!! I actually audibly gasped when I read the 'it's you tampon string' line.... :-(

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Being a teenage girl is one thing I would rather die than go through again. Seriously.

Corrie Howe said...

Oh my! Can't say that ever happened to me. Did you really avoid him? If he was like my son's best friend, that would be hard because he practically lives here. I don't know if my daughter has a crush on them. But I know she thought he was wonderful when he picked a mouse up by the tail and put him outside without freaking out like her brother did.

strokeofliving said...

Hey JM,

I haven't read this post yet but I wanted to stop by to tell you that I've gotten an IGGB award this morning and pretty stoked about it. Thanks for creating it and thanks for giving me reading pleasure everyday!

ellen abbott said...

OK, that one made me laugh. I was an even later bloomer, not until the summer between 7th and 8th grade did they let me into that club and then after I was in I started wondering why the hell I was so anxious. Oh yeah, now I remember...boobs. Which I never got. I am always amazed by people who want to relive their teenage years. Not me, nope, never.

ShellSpann said...

OMG I would just die!!!

glenna said...

oh wow.That has to be at the top of the list for horrible moments of a teenager's life!

Emily said...

Ouch. That has always been one of my biggest fears. Glad you handled with maturity and avoided him like any rational person would do. :P

Too Many Hats said...

While so super embarrassing to you. In hindsight, it does seem sweet. How many teen boys would have the guts to even tell you and help you avoid further embarrassment?

The Girl said...

I'm surprised you made it through the rest of your teenage years, I think I'd have died of embarassment on the spot!

I'm blushing for you.

Yankee Girl said...

Oh no!

Of course information like that just has to come from the boy you like. Fate wouldn't haven it any other way.

brainella said...

Oh snap. And yeah, you are correct about the brother humiliation thing. They would use anything to torture...

Nonflammable said...

no way.....oh the humility. i bet your face was flaming with the memory as you wrote this post.

you retell it so well, my face was flaming too.

Eva Gallant said...

The age, the circumstances--all combine to make that a horrific experience. Glad you survived!

Barbaloot said...

I think I would've died right there. I used to have crushes on my older brother's friends, too. But I started out avoiding them so I never had to have embarrassing stuff like that:)

Michael Rivers said...

I would have been red for a year! It was nice of him to tell you. Not many people would!

Badass Geek said...

Stories like this just cannot be made up.

Epic.

lifein3dee said...

oooo. Embarrassing.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Oh. My. God. I can completely relate to that story.

Herding Cats said...

That happened to me at a swim meet when I was in high school. First, my too-tight Speedo ripped up in the crotch area, and then a friend pointed out my tampon string was showing. I'm glad it wasnt a guy....still. So embarrassing!

i am playing outside said...

I'm going to go ahead and thank you for being a female, so I was spared from this situation and all situations of a similar variety.

Kristina P. said...

Worst. situation. ever.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

That has always been my worst nightmare. Worse than a dangling booger or spinach in the teeth.

Intense Guy said...

I'm sorry to do this... I mean, I know you were mortified to no end, but.. I just have to...

LMAO!!!

:)

I'm very happy to pass to you the Life's Most Embarrassing Moments award that has been in my care for years. Please pass it along when someone tops this ----

Cathi said...

that is funny! I know at the time it was probably mortifying - hey what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...:) He was really nice to say it quietly, so I give him alot of credit. My brothers friends wouldn't have been so nice, I am betting! haha

Ms Bibi said...

That is hilarious...now. I would have died...then. Poor you

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I never had to worry about that. I wore a mattress and in 7th grade for me, they were still attached with suspenders. Thanks gawd for adhesive.
I would have liked to know about the tear in my pants when my Halloween underwear were showing all day. Just imagine if he didn't tell you....

Hugs!!

Heather said...

And what was he looking down there for anyways!

I know that was a horrid moment, but I laughed, sorry!

Alicia said...

OH NO!!! ohhhhhh my heart breaks for the teenage you! i would have died!!!

Marcy said...

Ha ha!!! I hesitate to bring it up, but that totally made me flash back to the B Warrior night. Oh the horrors of being a woman sometimes...

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

I am crying for you. That is just mortifying. Seriously you poor poor thing!!! ;)

Poindexter said...

I am more and more a fan! This, cleve, lopsided look at your life inspires me to extract the courage to explore untouchable territory in the dusty attic of my memory. Thanks --Diane

Kelly @ The Miller Mix said...

You know it's bad when you're silently hoping for boob!

Marsha said...

you poor thing!

Cee said...

Ahhhhhhhh! That is so horrifying...at any age really, but especially at 12.

blueviolet said...

That's horrible!

strokeofliving said...

Well, I think you didn't give the poor guy a chance. He indicated that your evidence of being a woman was exposed, he didn't seem repulsed. In my imagination he's adorable and cared enough to inform you while being fully aware of your crush. Or maybe I refuse to think any cruel thoughts today.

Geez Louise♥ said...

UM, I DIE!! This even made me blush with embarassment!!!!

Kaela said...

I think I blushed just reading this post! I have a scheduled post for Friday that is also coincidentally an embarassing moment - check it out if you need a dose of someone ELSE'S humiliation! Nothing compares to something like that though, when you're at such a fragile age...oh god I'm still blushing!

Heather@WHMB said...

Damn tampon strings! That totally sucks and would have been mortifying at that age.

DeNae said...

I just threw myself under a cement mixer in behalf or your adolescent self. What I can't believe is that this kid actually had the guts to say such a thing. Was he the only 40-year old teenager at the pool that day?

Dumblond said...

You only avoided him for a year afterwards?! I would have never spoken to that dude again! That would have been way too mortifying to recover from...

Grand Pooba said...

That was seriously my worst nightmare when swimming, I was so self conscience about it that I'd constantly go into the bathroom to check. Being a girl sucks.

Mommy Lisa said...

*running down the street* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

obladi oblada said...

Oh geez, I just spit Diet Pepsi on my monitor...thanks. I dont feel so bad about having a toilet paper tail streaming out behind me on the dance floor now.

Pricilla said...

I again say, sometimes it is good to be a goat.

Rosie said...

Yikes! I would have curled up into a ball and cried. Wait a minute, what was he doing looking down there in the first place! Naughty boy.

Karla said...

Found my way over here via IntenseGuy's blog. Makes me glad my mother was old fashioned and refused to buy tampons when I was young.........

rxBambi said...

I was (as an adult) at one of those Raging Rivers places and after almost a full afternoon in and out of the water (and up the steps waiting in line) my friend told me I had something hanging out of my suit. It was the sticky thing they have on when you try on the suit. I forgot to take it out. Nice.

CRY said...

NO!!!!!!!!!!
YOU POOR THING!
STUPID TAMPON STRINGS!
I HAVE A GUY FRIEND WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER HIS GIRFRIEND WAS WEARING SHORT CUT OFF JEAN SHORTS WITH THE STRINGS HANGING ON THEM AND SHE WAS SITTING ON HIS LAP AND HE PULLED ONE, IT WASNT A STRING FROM THE SHORTS, IT WAS HER TAMPON!!!!
IVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD!

shortmama said...

Yikes that would be embarrassing!

Rebecca Knight said...

Ohhhhhhhhhh :(. This brought all of those awkward teen memories back to the surface!

FUN TIMES. (Only not. Ever.) Man I'm glad I'm an adult now :).

Baloney said...

How many people do you think will double check their swimsuits from now on? I think this was definitely a public service announcement.

Too funny. In a way, he was really nice to tell you instead of letting you wander around like that the rest of the day.

Tammy Howard said...

If you get a chance, this is a story my youngest wrote that you might find amusing:

http://randomthoughts-tammy.blogspot.com/2009/02/livs-no-good-very-bad-day.html

It doesn't involve cute boys, but it's got everything else...

Raoulysgirl said...

OMG!!!

I think I'm blushing all manners of red for you!!! How horrifying!!!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I think at the age of 12/13/14
(25?) that would have KILLED. ME. DEAD. On the spot.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Not sure if you saw tamponcrafts.com post, but needed to share b/c ... well, just too good not to ... and so on point!

Thanksgiving is coming up. Maybe consider that turkey centerpiece to give your table that extra ... something?

http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/2009/10/people.html

McVal said...

I smacked my forehead for you! And I was in a phone meeting at the time. While everyone else is talking, I wasn't involved so I'm reading my blogs. I almost laughed out loud!

JenJen said...

Oh my heavens!!

Milltini said...

HAHAHAH!!! This would have 100% happened to me at that age. I was an even late bloomer than you, which made for a pretty awkward and gangly middle school experience. That didn't stop me from putting myself in embarassing situations and scenarios on part with this one...sigh...youth...what can you do?

Sincerely, Jenni said...

Ah yes, ye ol' tampon string.

I've had this happen to me TWICE. Once when I was a teenager and I was at the beach with a bunch of guy/girl friends.

Second time I was at the pool with my husband and kids, and my daughter (then 4) SHOUTED TO THE WORLD "What's sticking out of your pee-pee?"

Yeah, I know. NICE.

Kato said...

Oh. My. God. I would have died. And then I would have revived myself and died again.

You poor thing!

PictureGirl said...

OMG! Every teen girls worse nightmare!

Em x said...

You make me laugh so much, i would have died!

Kristin said...

Oh the horror! Good thing you didn't perish on the spot. Ah ha ha

Mighty M said...

Mortifying. Just mortifying.

Unknown Mami said...

That would be mortifying now. Back then it must have been devastating.

WhisperingWriter said...

Eek.

How embarrassing for you.

Those darn tampon strings!

Constructive Attitude said...

oh god. that sucks. big time.

im sorry.

Vodka Logic said...

How horrible.. and your crush. But as others have said at least he was descreet

did you ever speak to him again.

wendy said...

Oh No -- I would have died for sure. I guess that was "nice" of him to let you know, but ah, YIKES

growing up IS SO HARD

Whimsical Creations said...

Mortifying!

jules said...

How absolutely traumatizing! Impressive that he told you however! I was a late bloomer too. (8th grade) How is it that not having it is just as horrifying as having it? Are you there God? It's me, Jules...

mbkatc230 said...

I'm cringing in horror for your middle school self. But "big crush boy" handled this with alot more aplomb than I would have thought possible for a teenage boy - is he perhaps a diplomat now? Kathy

bluzdude said...

And you never thought, "Hey, he was looking at my crotch!"?

kys said...

How horrible for you!

LadyStyx said...

*wanders in from intenseguy's blog at his recommendation*

OMG *laffin*

.oO(mental note to self to get iggy to quit underestimating things as this should have been labelled a NF/DWR entry!!!)

Matty said...

Visiting from Intense Guy's blog.

My first stop here and I'm greeted with tampon strings. How nice.

Great story for my first read here.

Matty

Leah Rubin said...

Wow, how well you painted that picture! Great story, and I love the visual aid!

(Doesn't mean I don't feel your pain!)

Little Ms J said...

Try on "I think your kitty caught a mousy" and tell me I didn't win this little battle.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oh, gawd. I can only imagine how painful that had to be... Still feel the sting, even. I bet you thought about that every day for weeks. Maybe months...

Amanda said...

Oh JennyMac - just when you're trying to impress. I'm mortified with you - but at least you can see the funny side now. Have you ever run into him since I wonder?

My name is PJ. said...

With the relentless teasing that girls are known for, it would have been bad enough had your friends seen it and mentioned it to you. But this? It would probably have made me consider life in a cloistered convent.

It seems MANY readers felt your pain!

Rowe said...

How completely EMBARRASSING at 12 or thirteen years old. Let alone at any age, really. OMG!!! And I just had to check that, yep, bluzdude is male.

Erin said...

I think I am blushing in embarassment for you! Whoa! I can't believe he said that....but at least he was quiet/nice about it, I suppose...

Kathleen said...

Oh my! Well, at least now the joke's on him seeing as how you have this awesome embarrassing moment story to tell!

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh. I can not even imagine how horrific that must have been for you. Can not even imagine...

Carol said...

Oh. My. I can't imagine your embarrassment. Thanks for making me cringe/laugh--I really needed it!

By the way, I have a teenage daughter with tantrum/rage/misc other emotional issues--where can I get me some of that spray?

Stina said...

oy! i would die. i was a very late bloomer. you were lucky to become a woman in 7th grade, so did my sister. i was lucky at age 17. yeah, 17. i was the last one of my group of friends, so i was super secretive with my tissues and bra. that's embarrassing. take care.

secret agent woman said...

My first reposne was to laugh hertlily, butthen I started thinking that it was kind of him to alert you in a kind way. Still, it's the kind of thing that can scar a teenager.

Idea #527 said...

That is hysterical. . . and still completely mortifying!!

In 7th grade, my friend Steph and I were swimming with some of my neighbor guy friends and her boob (well what boobs she had) popped out from her swimsuit when she came up from the water. Mortifying. We still laugh about it.

Shop Girl* said...

BAHAHAHHAA oh my gosh... I know that must have been devastating for you at the time, but holy crap. I almost peed my pants reading it. haha