Thursday, August 5, 2010

One very happy dog

After sharing the family beaver story with you, I had a big laugh with my Mom. You would think it a recent memory for the volume of comedic value I derive from it. But in my arsenal of great family tales, the beaver story has a friend. Another story, born during a sweet and innocent scene one summer I was on college break.

My parents were living in Alaska. I went up for the summer and was befriended by a group of nice Norwegians. Two of them, brothers, were helping me learn some rudimentary phrases in their native tongue. I would practice with them on our fairly frequent run ins, and I would share my tiny handful of wisdom with my parents. My mom got a kick out of practicing these phrases along with me.

My mom was running a full time business, and doing an incredible job. She was successful and smart and so it is with total respect I share the following scenario. One day in her lovely and light-filled office, a group of businessman came in. The two brothers were amongst the group and my mom was ready to intro her practiced pleasantries, this time, in Norwegian.

One of the easy phrases they taught me was "Gu Dag, Hvordan ar du det."
Which sounds like "Guh dah, vor dahn are doo day."

As she addressed the group, she said very slowly with perfect diction:
"Good dog, vord ann hard on today?"

The room went silent, briefly. One of the men responded, "Not quite yet, M, but if it changes, I will let you know." And then the large group burst into such a raucous laughter. And I thought I might have an accident of the urinary explosion kind. My mom, simply trying her best, looked at me and asked what was wrong.

I laid my hand gently on her arm and said, "Well, I'm not entirely sure but I think you just stated something equivalent to a good dog having a hard on today. " Some of these men were having a little trouble breathing. Primarily because my mom never talked like at work, and frankly, I thought it was a riot.
Her poor face. More red than classic Chanel No. 5 lipstick, honey.

She went ahead and left the room. At least until the laughter died down.

Oh, the laughs these stories have provided. And they have been told and retold. And surely someday my son will tell similar stories about us. I look forward to it and hope I take it as well as our Mom does.

So watch your words today. And I'd avoid that dog if I were you.

45 comments:

Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog? said...

Awww, poor mom! heeheehee too funny!!

Your family has the best stories, JM. Love sharing them with you!

Love the picture of the dog too ;)

Capricorn Soap Company said...

That's hilarious! I love hearing stories like that...makes me laugh!

AmyLK said...

Great story! Poor mom!

singedwingangel said...

lmbo your mom and my mom would be a hoot when brought together.. seriously

Sweet Charity said...

Hilarious! I had a similar experience while living in Brazil. Instead of telling a store clerk (in Portuguese) that I would come back to buy a bottle of wine, so that I didn't have to carry it in the mall I said, "I'll come back later, so I don't have to shit in the mall." I immediately realized what I'd said, promptly exited the store, and did not return. Oh, and once I ordered a dick sandwich, when I meant to say turkey sandwich. I'm prone to saying accidentally inappropriate things.

http://misadventuresofamarvelousmiss.blogspot.com/

ajm said...

The beaver story reminded me -- I had to teach high school Michigan history for a semester (YAWN). What kept it interesting for the kids is that Michigan has history in trading beaver pelts to be made into the once popular beaver hats. Every time I said "beaver," I thought I would die. And "beaver hats"? Forget it.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

OMGosh!! This is too funny!! Poor mama!
<><

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

So close! Thanks for the laugh today.

Ashley Stone said...

so funny, and love that picture of the dog!

Kristina P. said...

Awesome. That is always my biggest fear when learning a foreign language!

Herding Cats said...

Hahaha. Your poor mom. That's hilarious though!

Eva Gallant said...

That is too funny. Your poor Mom!

shortmama said...

My mom probably would have said something like that on purpose...shes nuts like that!

Pricilla said...

It is good your mother has a sense of humor. I suspect she needs it.....

SmartBear said...

Oh wow...that is priceless. I think it's even more hilarious that you are posting about dog hard ons and I am posting about a similar misuse of a word.
Something must be in the air?
Best,
Tina

Dumblond said...

But if it was a dog like the one in your picture...I have always wanted a dog that could smile like that!

Matty said...

There is nothing better than the humor in a completely innocent comment. That moment would have made for a great video.

Writing Without Periods! said...

Thanks for the laugh.
Happy Thursday.
Mary

Writing Without Periods! said...

Thanks for the laugh.
Happy Thursday.
Mary

Kat said...

Man oh man, did I need that laugh today. Your poor mother, but it sounds like she handled it with her usual grace. And that picture of the dog is hysterical :) Kat

Little Ms J said...

Well, shouldn't all good days...

Never mind.

secret agent woman said...

This is why I don't use foreign expressions unless I am dead certain about their pronunciation.

My name is PJ. said...

Hilarious! She learned to be a good sport early on, didn't she?! :)

The Random Blogette said...

Now that is hilarious! I just posted the other day about what my mother in law thought "friends with benefits" means! It was classic!

Intense Guy said...

I hope that dog got lucky...

:)

Joann Mannix said...

That is a mortifying but hilarious story. Your poor mom!

And of course, men no matter the age, will hone right in on anything to do with the words, hard on. Add a dog to the mix and well, boys will be boys.

Dan Pearce said...

Haha, that reminds me of the permanent expression my pet Samoyed always had. Love the post! I wish it were my mom who said it!

Single Dad Laughing

Jennifer said...

Bwahahaha! You're hilarious girl.

J.J. said...

Kinda reminds me of the time a brother told the joke - "How do you make love to a fat woman." "Roll her in flour first." Unfortunately, I was the one who had to explain it to her when she didn't get it, because the brothers were gasping for air.

Ms. Wanda said...

Love this post:) I needed an early morning chuckle, Thanks Jennymac!!!

Kitchen Rat said...

My daughter is sleeping on the sofa next to me while I'm reading this post and I am trying not to explode with laughter. Tears are streaming down my face. :D

Ed said...

Ha!

How nice of your mom to been concerned about his dog's state of arrousal.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oh, dear Lord. I KNOW my kids are armed with dozens of stories to compare with these of yours.
Now, I won't be able to sleep tonight... ;-)

Shop Girl* said...

Hahaha Oh Jenny Mac. You are my favourite. Your blog is one of the only ones that ACTUALLY makes me laugh out loud when I read. Your poor mom... this totally sounds like something my mom would do without realizing anything was wrong.

Like the time she asked a sales lady if she had camel toe, not understanding what it was. She just thought it meant tight pants. hahaha

BlueRidgeLady said...

Oh that was such a funny story!! I'm sure the other men in the room have enjoyed telling it a time or two themselves!! Adored the smiling dog picture, sure does warm the heart!! Are you as ready for fall as I am??

Mommy Lisa said...

Jeg snakke Norske.

Erin said...

Well my mind went south with this one because you mentioned hard on and then red lipstick. My girls, having witnessed our dog's debauchery on one unfortunate occasion, asked why he had a "lipstick." oh my word.

Kristy said...

Funny! Poor mom.

Mighty M said...

Too funny....I think most of us have at least one story that everyone else LOVES to remind us of. So we can all gleefully relate to your mom's oh so slight embarrassment! :)

Shanna said...

fantastic story! I felt like I was there. I am sure your Mum is glad I wasn't!

Kate said...

Thats brilliant. I laughed out loud and then cringed a little for your poor mum!

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Tgoette said...

Hilarious! I can relate because my mom is always saying funny stuff without trying to. She reminds me of Betty White in Golden Girls. Funny post!

Amanda said...

Another great story JennyMac. Your Mum is such a great sport!

Vivienne said...

That is awesome! I'm telling you... your mom and my mom are somehow, some way related.

uggclogs said...

Another great story, JennyMac :)

Oh, and the proper Norwegian is:

God dag, hvordan har du det?