Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How to suck at using Craig’s List

I am sure many of you have utilized Craig’s List, the centralized network of online communities where you can buy, sell, borrow, hire and until recently, even find some nookie.

The FOR SALE section of Craig's List is the community of which I am most familiar. And it is set up to be a very simple process. Person A posts some information, Person B responds to that information. All very straightforward especially when you want to sell something and someone wants to buy it.  A few emails may be exchanged. We have sold dozens of things from furniture to baby items; moost of these items have sold the same day we have posted. We must be batting 1000 percent because all of our previous email exchanges and transactions have been straight-forward and easy.

Until last weekend. 

When we met Ann. What an interesting experience. Or what I like to call “How to suck at using Craig’s List."

We are selling something on Craig’s list. I posted pics, gave a clear description and the asking price. We have three identical items and the first one sold the same day I posted it. The second one garnered many emails including one from Ann. She wanted to know if we would sell it for HALF the listed price. No, I did not list “This price or best offer” but good for you, Ann, driving a bargain. I didn’t respond. She sent me another email a day later inquiring if I would take 55% of the asking price but also wrote “one way or another the least you can do is reply to my email.”

No Ann, the least I can do is NOT reply to your email because technically that is LESS THAN actually replying to your email. NOT replying is the option I chose the first time. And incidentally, it was VERY easy. And my lack of response is your answer which you should interpret as NO I will not take half the asking price.  I have to say I didn’t love Ann’s email but listen, I am trying to sell something she has potential interest in buying. But Ann was giving me a headache so I opted not to respond.

Ann then sends me an email basically asking if I will take 50 dollars less than asking price “if she pays in cash.” Well, you won’t get a prize for being a good reader Ann because the posting clearly said CASH ONLY but let’s wrap this party up which will benefit us by 1. Selling the item and 2. exchanging no further emails with Ann.  I reply yes and ask her when she would like to come and pick it up.

She replies, “Well, I live in Athens (80 miles East of Atlanta) and could we PLEASE BRING IT TO HER THE NEXT TIME WE ARE IN ATHENS?

1.       We never even mentioned going to Athens. EVER.
2.      We never mentioned delivery. EVER
3.      I might have called Ann a name after reading this email.

I replied that we were not able to deliver it and it would need to be picked up. She replied “Send me your number and I will pick it up in the next couple of weeks.” Really Ann? This might have involved more name-calling on my part. I let her know in a nice way, we are selling it to the first person who pays for it.

Ann then asks me for my cell number which I send and ask her to coordinate with me ahead of time since we had a jam packed weekend. No response. No call.

Saturday afternoon I receive a call from Ann. She is in Atlanta she “thinks” Well, Ann, I am at the grandparents house with MiniMac having EasterEggapalooza. Thanks for “coordinating with me ahead of time" like I *$#&#$^@)!@) politely requested. Oh, and how come I wrote she is in Atlanta, she “thinks” because of this:

Me: This is JennyMac
Ann: Hello. This is Ann X. I am in Atlanta. I think.
Me: OH, I am so sorry I am not home.
Ann: Oh, I told you I was going to call you.
Me: Right. Where exactly are you?
Ann: I am not sure. On an interstate.
Me (WOW) Are you on 75? 85? 
Ann: 75..maybe.
Me: Where on 75?
Ann: I am heading North on 75. 
Me: Are you coming from Athens?
Ann: Yes. 
Me: Well, North on 75 would mean you are south of Atlanta. Not East.
Ann: OH. 
Me: Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Macarena!

So we finally get coordinated and Ann comes to our house. I like Ann VERY LITTLE I have a feeling. She looks at the item which is in almost perfect condition and looks exactly like the photographs she saw but she is confused and doesn’t think it is the same item. REALLY?  And then she wanted to debate it with me. And ask 2000 questions. You know what question I wanted to ask How quickly are you going to leave? which can be interpreted as Get the _____ out of my house. 

Listen, if you suck at being a buyer on Craig's list, it might be fair to say you suck at many other things like:

1. opening cereal boxes
2. getting yourself dressed
3. reading and interpreting your mail
4. Most of the rest of life

My  husband's final comment was "I hope the car seat is not for her." AMEN.


Unknown said...

BWHAHAH they are everywhere I tell ya AND they are breeding, meaning they are multiplying way faster then we are. Cause THAT they figured out fairly easily.

vanilla said...

In the Ann-centric universe in which she imagines she lives, you would have delivered the object free of charge and without cost to her, genuflected as you thanked her profusely for taking the item off your hands.

the walking man said...

I must suck at Craigslist but I know how to open a cereal box. I used it ONLY one time to try to sell $25,000 worth of tools for less than $700. Everyone must have thought I was kidding but I finally just gave them away.

As we say her in Detroit *Fuck Em* If you fear the answer you'll never know the truth. Now I just put the crap on the curb and someone always has it gone by morning.

Julia said...

Oh god, those are the kinds of people who make me want to put a "bank head here" sticker on my desk and really go at it.

It's really incredible how some people manage to get up and put their pants on in the morning.

Simply Suthern said...

LOL Loved that.

We have been fairly successful using Craigslist but not without the occasional nutcase.

If I get an uncomfortable feeling about one I usually meet them off property.

Chez Zizi said...

First of all, you have had much better luck than I have had on Craigslist. Second, I cannot believe you put up with Ann for that long. But the one thing you forgot to mention is did she finally buy it?
I would not have had the patience for her, but then again get rid of the item was the goal. Better luck next time.

Stereo said...

Sigh. People like Ann are the reason that Craigslist is always a last resort for me. The crazy comes to your HOUSE :(

Liza said...

Am I the only one worried that this person now knows where you live?

Kristina P. said...

Wow, she is a real gem! And the reason I have never used Craigslist.

Brenda Susan said...

O my word! You may be wishing you had not given her your cell number! Yikes!

brokenteepee said...

My husband has often said he fears that more often than not the people reproducing are the ones that need a manual to do so

MommyLisa said...

Last week some guy asked my hubby to send a picture of a golf club to him. Ahhhh, what exactly are you going to glean from a photo of a golf club? Even Annie Lebowitz could not photograph a club well enough for you to decide if you want the damn thing.

Anonymous said...

That is ridiculous. Holy cow; how is she stable enough to drive?!?

Erin said...

And now you must move because crazy lady knows where you live :)...PS. I have some free tickets to an event in Atlanta next weekend. Let me know if you are interested.

Bretthead said...

Sounds like Ann needs to scour CraigsList for somebody that can sell her a clue.

janis said...

oh my! I think I would have gone with my gut & never respond to her in the first place. Im about to put something big on Craigs List (hot tub) I am cringing at the thought of idiots calling/emailing.

MarlaD said...

I've had lots of luck with CraigsList in the past and recently have posted several items for sale. They have generated multiple fake email responses that if I respond, I get one of those, "I am a very busy man do not need to see furniture give me all your information and I will post you a certified check for $X over the asking price in the morrow's mail and then send special courier to pick up..." You get the idea. WTF? Anyone else getting this? And as for Ann - I find her representative of at least 51% of the population. I may be an overeducated princess but geeze Louise!

Connie said...

I can't handle Craigs List.

I had someone drive 65 miles to see a piece of furniture and then they told me it looked taller in the picture.

I was practically giving the damn thing away!! And then they walked away.

MsDarkstar said...

Too bad you didn't have a strait jacket cuz Ann sounds like she probably needs that more than a car seat!

Unknown said...

I have never sold or bought anything on craigs list, but have friends who have had good luck. I might try it, now that I know Ann is busy bugging you.

Michael said...

I still shiver from 2 of the 3 sales I've done on Craig's list. While not quite as comical as yours, I will say they were comparable in nature.

After the first bad one, I decided to only meet to complete the transaction in a public place. I just couldn't bear to know that potentially crazy craig's list buyer knew where I lived. Of course this meant I appeared to be doing something illegal as I moved boxes of computer equipment to buyer's car in the parking lot of Starbucks, but I slept better. It's definitely dependent on what you are selling too.

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Craigslist is like people watching at a carnival. Except, ya know, you can't make fun of their outfits. yet.

Another blogger and I started a new blog you might like. "My Favorite Hate Mail"
where we are making fun of dumb/mean/spiteful comments left for bloggers. I can only imagine the nuggets of hilarious wisdom you might be able to contribute to the conversations...

Maria said...

I just had a bad experience with Craig's List. Needless to say, I will donate whatever it is I am getting rid of and take the tax write-off, thank you very much. Hope she is as forgetful of your address as she was about all the details pertaining to the sale...

Inge' said...

Unfortunately, I can somewhat relate to this issue.

Daughter wanted to sell her massage equipment. Everything was brand new and there was quite a bit of stuff.

We receive an email informing us that the same equipment is only x amount of dollars from such and such.

I replied maybe you should buy from them and leave me the hell alone.

I have no patience for idiots anymore since I decided they are starting to outnumber us sane folks.

Marcy said...

I was just on craig's list and saw someone who posted pictures of a bed. All i could think was "straighten out your comforter and kick the freakin' cat off the bed before you snap the picture." Disgusting. what do some of these people think?

Allyson & Jere said...

Yowza! Your new BFF Ann sounds like a real piece of work! You were clearly TOO nice in this situation. SHEESH! On the other hand, at least your stuff is selling. I have listed stuff so many times and nothing has come of it. FRUSTRATING! Oh well, you win some you lose some I guess.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Wow! I wouldn't have given the broad my number. E-mails can be ignored.

The Savage said...

If she bought a car seat from you, do you realize that she has potentially bred? I hope she at least knows how to use the seat...

SmartBear said...

OHMYHELL! I had all my baby crap to sell and everyone told me to use Craig's list. Seriously! It was awful! What is with asking me to bring it to you? And if I wanted to haul a crib FOR you do you think I would sell it on Craig's list?
I'll never do it again. I just gave the rest of my crap away. I'd rather some poor gal who needs it use it than to sell it to some annoying lady in the suburbs who wants to save 10 bucks.

Kristy @Loveandblasphemy said...

Opening cereal boxes. That was funny! What an idiot. Ugh. The idiots among us.

Intense Guy said...

Freecycle looks better and better... even if you just give it away - you don't have to put up with that sort of ummm... "stuff".

Little Ms J said...

Ahhh... Craigslist. I will soon be murdered by someone on Craiglist. We have sold many things on Craiglist and hubs has a tendency to set up pick up when I will be home alone along with the soul-strengthening line, "Keep my number on speed dial and the gun behind the door."


What the fuck is speed dial anyways? Don't you know I have codes to unlock phones?

Kir said...

we've been contemplating Craig Lists because we have so much stuff that we really should unload but I am leary of it, after this, I'd rather just give my shit away, you know?

I love how your hubby said "I hope the car seat isn't for her" ..CLASSIC and exactly what I thought.

Thanks for the public service announcement, but I'm sorry you had to experience that...*HUGS* ;)

DeNae said...

There are exactly 3.729 million people just like this woman in the world, and I've met every single one of them.

That's how I know how many there are.

And every single one of them thinks they're not one of them. They think I'M the crazy one.

Which, of course, is absurd.

Urban Earthworm said...

Ah, the joys of Craig's List. I had many Craig's List adventures in New York.

Ann sucks. It saddens me that Anns exist. And breed. A lot. Because they presumably cannot work condoms or birth control.

Lastly, I didn't know you lived in Atlanta! So does my arch nemisis!

I was just in Atlanta a couple weeks ago . . .

But I am NOT Ann. I knew I was in Atlanta, at least up until I left the bar ;-)

Anonymous said...

Wow! It appears that some people need supervision and instruction in every area of their lives...lol My ex has run into his share of "people marching to the beat of their own drum," so to speak, while selling things on Craig's List, and I must admit that I have always been a little leery of Craig's List for that specific reason. I'm glad to hear that the rest of your dealings on CL have been decent. :)

Chain Stitch Crochet said...

Holy crapoly.....I'm surprised you let her get past the first 'snafu'. There are some ijit people out there.

Unknown said...

Oh dear - what a truly horrible experience!! Amber :)

secret agent woman said...

I tried to sell a fridge on Craig's list and encountered the male version of Ann. It was maddening. Ditto when I tried to sell a pair of event tickets.

Angela Fuller said...

LOL just doesn't cover it! I am your soul sister on Craigslist I think. Recently listed a set of tools for my dad at a "firm" price. Got a call asking if we would reduce said price because they lived 50 miles away. Said "no, sorry." 10 min. later got another call that turned out to be relative of 1st caller asking if we would reduce the price because...wait for it... 1st caller was his uncle to whom 2nd caller owes money... as in the exact amount of the reduced price. Um, answer is still No - but thanks for the honesty! ;)

Caty said...

Wow! Did she at least buy it? I wonder how she'll figure out how to install it??