Friday, April 22, 2011

Perhaps you should have asked, "What Would Jesus Do?"

What Would Jesus Do? Many of us have heard this catchphrase made popular in the 1990's. I have seen it printed on t-shirts, cups and bracelets. You know who is NOT familiar with this expression? The person behind this photo.

I came across this is a newspaper. Colorful holy figurine? Why yes. Pure and sacred? Not exactly. While this homage to Jesus Christ certainly appears lovely, the carefully painted 6 lb statue is actually made of cocaine which was seized during transport across the border into the US.

A man was arrested for this artistry. Now, this might have been an ideal time Mr. Cocaine Statue Maker to ask yourself, "What Would Jesus Do?"  Because I am pretty sure even the the non-believer might think a cocaine Jesus isn't winning any prizes at the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art OR even the most liberal houses of worship but instead, will get you a special invite to the Pokey. Or the Playboy Mansion. Or Charlie Sheen's House. Or Hell  (that is if Hell and Charlie Sheen's house are not synonymous.)

However, from a purely aesthetic vantage point, WOW, Mr. Cocaine Statue Maker, you have some skills.


And while I thought I was quite a kick-ass Mommy when I spent several hours baking these sugar cookies, frosting them with a Raspberry Lemonade frosting, and assembling dozens of bunny faces for MiniMac's class Easter party, perhaps you can come over next April and show me how to craft a 3D Easter Bunny!

Actually, maybe we can Skype, that might be safer. Or better yet, start an art blog and post the instructions for me.

For all of you celebrating Easter, enjoy every minute. Have a gorgeous weekend.

31 comments:

Erin said...

Thanks for the morning laugh. Drug smugglers are pretty crafty these days :)
Happy Easter!

Maria said...

Cookies, adorable...Cocaine filled Jesus, not so much...

I often wonder what goes on in the minds of incredible stupid criminals and quickly realize that the answer would be a resounding not much.

Have a blessed Easter with your family, JennyMac!

Simply Suthern said...

How could you in your right mind spend hours crafting that and not have some kind of Ah Hah moment?

Prolly using to much of his product.

the walking man said...

Get a couple of kilos of blow and we could practice our statuary for the next year and see if we could master the artistry of the cocaine Jesus man.

Nice cookies but wheres the ham?

vanilla said...

Cute cookies.

And a wonderful Easter weekend to you, too.

mermaid gallery said...

love the coolies...bet they taste great too...that may be the only statue of jesus that i have ever licked...er liked....

Chez Zizi said...

So funny about the what would Jesus do comment, I never heard of it until recently when I saw a sticker on a car WWJD. I asked a friend, a Jewish friend, and she said, " Why, that means What Would Jesus Do?". I had no idea.
Great bunny cookies by the way. Have a happy Easter.
Zizette

Hookin It With Mr. Lick Lick said...

Hey I think you did a good job with those cookies! I'm not much of a 3D cookie maker myself.

And shame on Mr. Cocaine Artist! Someone had a very good eye to have caught that.

singedwingangel said...

seriously??How much cocaine did it take to make that? And I would assume the artist was ahem a little wound being exposed to it while making his creation which would explain why it looks like he is wearing Joseph's coat of many colors.

JennyMac said...

@Angel: HAHAHA. That is so funny. AND true.

Kristina P. said...

Come live with me, please.

Pricilla said...

I'm thinking that maybe he saw Jesus as he sampled his product while sculpting his masterpiece. Or Charlie Sheen.

It's always a choice between heaven or hell.

Eva Gallant said...

Love the cookies. The statue? I'd be afraid lightning would strike me down!

Little Ms J said...

This gives morning devotional a whole new twist.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Hey! I just tried 3-D Easter cupcakes for my son's class, with mixed results (some bunnies appeared to have melting faces). 3-D treats are not for the faint-of-heart. NIce job, your cookies turned out great!

Rebecca Knight said...

I'm seriously impressed by the cookies and the time it took to make all those cute bunny faces :3.

But seriously... that statue is made OUT OF cocaine, and not just stuffed with a nugetty cocaine center? That's skill, right there.

webb said...

Directions: first you take 20 pounds of cocaine.... well, there's a challenge!

J.J. in L.A. said...

I guess he's was hoping Jesus wouldn't rat him out, but Karma's a biotch. ; )

gayle said...

Love the cookies! Happy Easter!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

The bunny cookies are adorable! I bet the kids loved them too!

The statue is scary. Someone had way too much time on their hands and now they'll be doing time.

The Savage said...

The cocaine statue is easy to make but instead of cocaine I'd use powdered sugar. It's legal for one thing and soooooooo much cheaper.
You do need a mold.... the cocaine Jesus was most like caste of a slurry of cocaine in a regular mold designed for ceramics. Again, use powdered sugar. Pam (or some other cooking spray) would make an excellent mold release.
Since you tickled our funny bone it's my turn to reply in kind...

WWJD... Who Want's Jack Daniels?

I don't care if rains or freezes as long as I got my cocaine Jesus hidden under the back seat of my car....

Jack Daniels loves me this I know. The empty bottle tells me so....

Possum said...

...did I hear the word Jack....??

Intense Guy said...

The druggies have no shame.

secret agent woman said...

Wow, that's actually kind of impressive. But I think Jesus would have turned it into wine.

secret agent woman said...

Wow, that's actually kind of impressive. But I think Jesus would have turned it into wine.

Marcy said...

Cute bunnies!!! Me want recipe for raspberry lemonade frosting....

anais desir said...

Wow! The lengths to which people will go in order to get what they want. Those cookies look wonderful by the way...you never can go wrong with a sugar cookie! I hope you had a very blessed Easter!

Title Loans said...

I know Jesus was in the color white when he returned from the dead, but I don't think this is the representation he had in mind during the modern day celebration of it. At least the police now know where to look next at Charlie Sheen's house...

Caty said...

It's a little late, but I hope you had a great Easter! Those cookies are adorable :) ...Charlie Sheen's house and Hell being synonymous cracked me up!!

Auto Lease Los Angeles said...

Ha, that's crazy! I bet they thought if they made it a religious figure it would be less suspect or something. It is pretty incredible artwork though...the things criminals will do astounds me.

Furniture Stores in Los Angeles said...

A similar story happens on the TV show Lost, but they use Mary statues instead. I wonder if the show came first of this story.