There are certain stories my family loves to hear and laugh in my face over. Less for their comical value (which is solid) but more so because these things can leave me momentarily speechless which my brothers in particular thought as rare as seeing a unicorn. While the jestFest is taking place, I certainly reiterate they will get their due when they have children of their own.
Last week, MiniMac was in our room while I dressed for work. Watching me put my bra on, he pats his own chest and says, " I know what those are called. "
We are all about teachable moments in this house (and using correct terminology) so I smiled at my son. Then he said, "Those are called your NIBBLES."
"Nipples not nibbles, buddy," I reply.
"NO, Mommy, those are called your NIBBLES. Daddy told me."
I am not certain who laughed louder (or longer) me or JohnnyMac. I almost asked JohnnyMac DID you tell him that? But of course he wouldn't tell him such things. The ears of 3 year olds are not quite acute.
This conversation preceded this one several days later. One evening, drying off from the shower with MiniMac, he pointed to my ladybits and said, "Is that your penis?"
As I have explained already, I don't have a penis. I told him it was my vagina. He shouts with vigor, "I LOVE YOUR VAGINA." I hear my Hub laugh out loud from the other room.
Later, at bedtime, he tells Daddy, "Mommy doesn't have a penis." (Because apparently when you have a toddler, this is going to be a recurring dialogue.) Daddy said he knew.
MiniMac then says, "But she has a vaGIANT!"
Because apparently vagina sounds like va-Giant. Again, TIME FOR A HEARING TEST!
Later that night he asked if he could see my vaGIANT. I am all for body awareness and being open, but NO, you can not see my vaGIANT. Nor did I feel it appropriate to tell him that if he keeps calling it a vaGIANT he will likely never, EVER get to see one in his adult life.