Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I hope your Thanksgiving is this lively....

My family is here today, my menu is ready, and we are going to have a fantastic Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for, there is not a blog post long enough to demonstrate my gratitude. Be safe and well wherever your holidays finds you. And since I can't send you a cocktail, I can share one of my favorite Thanksgiving stories in the event you need some humor injected into your weekend. 

True Story:

During our sophomore year of college, a girlfriend of mine, KK, went home for a week over Thanksgiving break. Her boyfriend was invited home with her for the holiday. Her parents had agreed to this arrangement only if he stayed in the younger brother's room. Right.

Upon his arrival days before Thanksgiving, he placed his overnight bag and backpack in their entryway. Later, in effort to help him take his bags upstairs, KK picked up his backpack by the bottom. Unfortunately it was only partially zipped and overstuffed with books he would never take one look at during the break. Gravity and weight working against her, the zipper flew open and the contents emptied into the foyer. To which her younger brother, about 12 at the time, spied some contraband and shouted, "MOM, ROB HAS RUBBERS IN HIS BAG." KK was mortified as most 19 year-olds would be. Rob's mortification doubled hers. Her Mom, walking in from the kitchen, spied the bedlam as well and then decided Rob could sleep in the basement.

On Thanksgiving, with a slew of family over for dinner, the group has a great dinner as KK’s Mom and Dad are both fantastic cooks. For the dessert bonanza, her five year old little sister presented a pie she had made as a special surprise. Mom assisted in most of the utensil and ingredient assembly. The 5 y.o. called around the corner to ask the Mom where she could locate the main ingredient, pumpkin, which her Mom said “look for the orange can in the cupboard.” Surprise pie made, she was so proud of her creation. When it was cut open and plated, her Dad was the first to sample. After one bite, the Dad halted all other taste-testers. “Honey, what did you use to make the pie?”
“Whip cream!”
“What else?”
“Punkin!”
“Can you show me the Pumpkin can?”
All eyes at the table ever so curious….the little sister returns from the kitchen with an empty can. Canned pumpkin not the ONLY orange can in the cupboard. Was the surprise the pie itself? Or was the surprise that her sister had made a pie of wet cat food and covered it with Cool Whip?
Thankfully, after the laughter subsided, there were other pies to eat. At least the spilled rubbers in the foyer were forgotten about...

And finally, after dinner and ready to be strewn about the downstairs den watching football and family games, KK’s Mom opens the basement door to let the dog up who had been sequestered during Thanksgiving dinner revelry and Cat Pie a la mode. The dog races up ever so enthusiastically as the family files downstairs. KK’s Father, first in line, is quick to discover someone didn’t leave the guest bathroom door closed and the dog got into and traipsed the garbage can contents about like tinsel on a tree. He was also the first (of many) to discover that certain visiting holiday guests apparently didn’t learn in college that you flush used condoms down the toilet and DO NOT put them in the garbage can wrapped in tissue.

KK instantly wished they were back at the table eating cat food pie. Rob planned to pack his bags and immediately vacate the household. Nothing like observing evidence of someone's active sex life to combat the tryptophan.

What was KK most thankful for that year? When Thanksgiving ended. And of course, in later years, she could appreciate three very memorable stories all of which summarized by her family as the "Poor Rob" weekend. Even long after Rob was but a memory.

I hope your holiday is just as lively.

34 comments:

Kat said...

Wishing you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving JennyMac! Thanks for the story, it made my morning. And I thought MY family put the "fun" in dysfunctional :) Kat

Vodka Logic said...

I have seen such stories in movies.. but gladly never experienced them in life.

what a great story.

Happy Thanksgiving.

the walking man said...

I'd like to hear Robs side of this story even after lo these many years. Being so familiar with all the details there JennyM I'm pretty sure you could as they say ..."and here's the rest of the story"


Enjoy your holiday and may your family's memory be well added onto during it.

jennykate77 said...

Wow. Poor Rob! LOL. Flush condoms. Yeah, I might know someone else who didn't get that memo one time.

The cat food pie is hilarious!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eva Gallant said...

Hysterical. I think I remember this story from last thanksgiving! lol

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

LOL Poor Rob weekend...love it!!!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Great story...so funny. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

KittyCat said...

Love this time of the year, when you get to just hang out with famiy.

Have a great one!

vanilla said...

Yes, I did need the laughter. Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving!

Loukia said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kristina P. said...

Now *that* is a Thanksgiving story! Poor Rob. I will remember the flushing down the condom thing. I had no idea.

sweethomeamy said...

That is one of the best stories I've ever heard! Omg, so funny. Poor KK & Rob!!

Happy Thanksgiving! xoxox

Ashley Stone said...

oh my goodness!!!

Cathi said...

Fabulous story!!! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family, JennyMac! Warm hugs to you! xxoo :)

MommaAmma said...

Where do you meet these people!?!? You never disappoint in your entertaining stories.

I'm embarassed by reading so I cannot imagine how KK feels!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hot Cross Mum said...

Classy! Great story and Happy Thanksgiving from the Emerald Isle.

carma said...

I srsly hope my thanksgiving is no where near as exciting.

I'm just happy I will be free of my dysfunctional extended family for the day :D

Simply Suthern said...

That's about the time I break out the "I have a gun, five acres and a shovel" Speech.

Hope you have a most wonderful Thanksgiving.

A Year on the Grill said...

Happy Thanksgiving.cook up a storm!

J.J. in L.A. said...

'Thank'fully, none of my Thanksgiving stories could compare to Rob's. lol!

Have a fantastic weekend!

Caty said...

That's sounds like a national Lampoon's Thanksgiving vacation! so funny :) Hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Slamdunk said...

I am thinking Rob moved to Siberia after that holiday and joined a religious order.

Happy Thanksgiving to you as well JM.

Mighty M said...

*Giggle, giggle* Or Maybe *Gobble, gobble*. Either way, Happy Thanksgiving. :)

Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog? said...

That'd be a hard one to live down ;)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, my friend! Ours was last month, and I'm in the mood for turkey again, but shall wait patiently for Christmas!

Paul said...

Happy Thanksgiving !!

Nyx said...

Lmao, thankyou for that lovely story. Made my Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving!

Kristy said...

Now those are some fun Thanksgiving stories!

Emily said...

We are visiting friends who also have three kids...so with a total of six kids, lively is kind of an understatement. Thankfully it's a wholesome kind of lively. I'm sure when they are all teenagers, though, we'll experience the other kind!

Vivienne said...

I've been crazy busy with 8 million things lately. Now I remember why it is ok to blow off one of those 6 million tasks, if it means I can come over here and read hysterical stories like this. This is hysterical.
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

oh my, what a great story. Love your writing style! glad someone recommended I read your blog. Hope you and yours had a great Thanksgiving.

Stepping On Cheerios said...

Tee Hee! So funny:)

Vikki said...

Hilarious! My parents had a "no ring, no room" policy at their house, resulting in much late-night tip-toeing down the hall when boyfriends came to spend the holidays...I'm SURE my parents never knew! :)

secret agent woman said...

Yikes, cat food pie That might just put me off pie forever.

Maria said...

I knew there was a reason I didn't like pumpkin pie...As for Rob and KK, when you play, you pay...

I can just imagine the look of horror on all of their faces...I guess just something else to add to the eventual "talk" with my boys...

Thanks for the laugh! Hope you all had a great day with your family!