Thursday, May 21, 2009

Flirty Sanchez

Besides those of you who will simply love looking at the photo which will be, oh, many of you. For the rest, let's talk about some good old-fashioned sports controversy.

This is Mark Sanchez. The 22 year old, muy caliente QB from USC recently drafted by the NY Jets. Interesting? Not really as a stand alone sentence, I know. USC has produced other great looking QBs. And the NFL draft, contrary to the staunch view of my husband, Hendo and Crazy Ocho, well, it is neither a pivotal moment of my year OR a forecaster of moods to come.
Then what is the scuttlebutt? Listen.

Mark Sanchez recently did a very tasteful photo shoot for the June issue of GQ magazine. See photo above in the event you missed it. So what? I know. GQ did similar shoots with Tom Brady and Matt Leinart. Why is this an issue? Why is this being talked about to ad nauseum on every Sports Talk radio station from here to Fairbanks? Oh, I'll tell you....

It is because some of the AFC fans in the NE quadrant are infuriated. Why? First, I think the Jets fans are salty because they lost half their games last season, and of course, with the oscillating talents of Brett "I'm in. No, no I'm out. No, back in. Totally in. No, seriously, out. Completely out" Favre, it would suck to have your hopes for the season collect at the bottom of the port-a-john.

But the primary antagonism is because apparently, Mark Sanchez in the spirit of Joe "Broadway Joe" Namath, shouldn't be mugging for the camera when he is supposed to be dedicating his life to football. So some of the Jets fan are pissed off he is promoting his image, instead of plotting and scheming all of the ways and means he can save the reputation of the franchise.

I am sure the Jets fans are just shoring the dam against a Mark Gastineau incarnate. Are you kidding me? Oh, and some of the Patriots fans have also weighed in that he is "no Tom Brady" and that Tom Brady had to at least win something before he did his shirtless hustle for Gentleman's Quarterly. Are you kidding me?

The same overwrought behavior existed when Tony Romo was seen out gallivanting with Jessica Simpson when he should have been thinking about the Superbowl. Are you kidding me? A man had a chronological list of what he wanted to happen and getting horizontal with his minx came before playing football? Imagine the blasphemy! How IRONIC.

So the Jets have some fans who are apparently, an unforgiving band of d-bags, and don't believe that Mark Sanchez is doing right by them. Oh, I get it.

Let's review the crime Mark Sanchez committed. Oh, he skipped minicamp to take his shirt off and run down the beach? Oh, he didn't miss camp in May? But you are worried he will be too off-center to focus for minicamp in June? Stop fretting. But you are mad because he failed to learn his routes? He doesn't comprehend the playing schemes? Won't engage in full contact drills so he doesn't harm those glorious abs? Oh, he is still producing 100%? Oh, you just don't like him being distracted? You all are just silly.

And since some of the Jets fans are advocating the team pick up Ocho Cinco if he leaves the Bengals, if that happens I promise you, there will more off-field concerns than a semi clad Mark Sanchez. After all, Chad Johnson changed his name to Ocho Cinco. Why? Because he is nuts. Enjoy that during press conferences.

I do think it is odd that an attractive 22 year old football player would want to be in GQ. I mean, that will only increase his odds of meeting women and ramping up his fame. And by all means, 22 year olds are typically distracted in the least bit right? Yes, I know how much he is getting paid. So does he so calm down you grumpy jackasses.

These are your average Jets fan, and the one in the helmet is apparently "THE" Jets fan. So round, sweaty, and emphatic. I can see why Mark Sanchez is troubling you. Guess what, taking his shirt off and posing with long-legged blondes is not going to impact his ability to think, act, and react. Or at least that is what you claimed from all of your years of reading Playboy magazine in which the women were posing only to put themselves through medical school.

Mark Sanchez is 22 and on fire. So wait until you see him spiral a ball or two on actual game day, and if he fails, then you can pelt him with your empty cans of Iron City. In the interim, you sound ridiculous and I don't think Mark Sanchez is sitting as home wondering if hooking up with a supermodel is going to upset you. And some of the press, you just need to take a deep breath too. Some of you boys are overreacting to a situation. And to be candid, well, I think some you would likely do a few favors of the pleasurable kind just for one minute in Mark Sanchez's shoes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I read the entire post, although I did have to keep referring back to that fantastic picture. I'm a Bears fan (insert sympathetic and/or rude remark here) so know very little about all the controversy (nonsense) going on over this hot kid. What I do know is that I would absolutely be attempting to stalk and/or teach him a thing or two if he were here in Chicago. ;) Thanks for giving this 39 year old suburban mother of two a little something to think about while hubby is out of town this weekend!