Tuesday, March 26, 2013

NOT what Baby Jesus would do

MiniMac is quite fascinated with Star Wars. Weeks ago, I purchased a Star Wars egg coloring kit for our Easter eggs. Because nothing says EASTER like Jabba the Hut and light sabers. The kit has been sitting on our kitchen counter for weeks like a little cardboard carrot prompting MiniMac to ask me "Can we color the Star Wars eggs?" approximately, oh, I don't know, 200 times since he laid eyes on the kit. Noted: hide that box until you are ready for it. So we color eggs and envelope them in Star Wars 'wrappits'. Nothing about these eggs seems cuddly, bunnyish or Easter-like. However, MiniMac is quite thrilled with them and wanted to take one in his pocket to school. Denied. You know what else doesnt seem Easter-like? Hiding meds in plastic Easter eggs right before the egg hunt.

Thanks Christ the King in Alabama, because you just made Star Wars eggs that much more alluring to me.

Last weekend, a volunteer at Christ the King Catholic Church in Daphne, Alabama held an egg hunt for the kiddos. You know how kids are at egg hunts right? Like a hundred giddy, swarming bees. OOOPS, said C the King, one of those eggs had a volunteers meds inside of it. Really, volunteer at Christ the King? That is your secret hiding spot? The plastic egg in which pounds of candy was to be inserted and placed in nooks and crannies for beforementioned giddy, swarming bees to find? You hid your 'potentially lethal if ingested by children' meds inside the plastic egg. I am no James Bond but I think I could quickly develop a list of better ideas. Maybe I will do that now and suggest a few other secret, hiding places for your pill collection, Joan Crawford.

Places to puts your meds instead of in the plastic Easter eggs to be given to children:
1. Your pocket (jacket, pants, vest, fanny pack. Its your choice.)
2. Your car
3. Your medicine cabinet
4. Your pill bottle
5. Your purse if you have one or your manbag.
6. A plastic bag marked MEDS you hide in a knothole in a tree.
7. A baby powder bottle like the cartels do it.

The church has requested all eggs be returned, unopened. Yes, that is exactly what the kids like. "Give me all your eggs back and don't touch what is inside." WHY MOMMY? "Because you can't have Xanax on Easter."

 

3 comments:

The Savage said...

Wow... People wonder why I became an agnostic. This story goes on the list as number 153,279...

the walking man said...

8. Your mouth when not in 4.

Kids on Xanax for Easter...they'd believe in the bunny for life after that.

Eva Gallant said...

I saw that article too! How stupid was that volunteer? Ridiculous!