Friday, September 23, 2011

What it feels like to be a rickety old man.... (and just in time for the weekend: MAGIC!)

So years ago while I was actively playing co-ed adult soccer, I suffered a few scrapes and bruises. Let me assure you when co-ed adult sports include the words "no contact" they are misleading you. I started playing soccer as a wee lass but I promise you, the one co-ed adult soccer game my Mom came and watched did NOT remind her of the angelic days of yore. During one game, I suffered an injury to my foot. That I basically ignored. For years. This is relevant. Why? Because that injury was the start of a strained relationship. Let me explain.

My left foot started bothering me a great deal two years ago. I finally to to my Doctor, Doctor M., and he sends me in for x-rays. On verdict day, I am pretty sure it is a hairline fracture at worst.

Wrong. He tells me I have arthritis. I laugh for two reasons. 1. I love Dr. M, he is fantastic, brilliant and witty. And 2. because I think he jokingly told me I have arthritis.

Me: HAHAHAHA. Are you reading your grandpa's chart again, Dr. M?
Dr. M: HAHAHAHA. No. You have arthritis in your left foot.

And then an odd feeling sank in. Oh my, this is what it feels like to be a rickety old man? Uh oh.

I go on to ask how this could happen, since, well, I am not Archie Bunker or any other old man. He explains several causes. He then asks a key question.

Dr. M: Do you wear high heels?
Me: (Thankful my jacket on chair is covering today's shoe choice) Sometimes.
Dr. M: Can you give a fuller description of "sometimes"
Me: Not when I am sleeping.

He advised the drawbacks of constant high heel wearing. Ok. It is a bit like someone telling you the risks of eating chocolate chip cookie dough. You know there are drawbacks, but that isn't likely to stop you. I have since learned that wearing the wrong running shoes can also cause arthritis. HAHA Damn RUNNING SHOES! Good to know now after I racked up over 700 miles on them last year.

So I actually went to the pharmacy. So I googled how to treat arthritis naturally. Apply Eucalyptus oil to the joints! Awesome. Except it doesnt really work. Take herbs. Ok but can you speed up the healing? So finally, I bought arthritis relief over the counter medicine. Not wear high heels? Ok, I will try that. One day. And I am sure the pharmacist thoughtit was for my grandpa. You should have to be at least 90 before inflicted with arthritis but no one told my foot.

BUT: Then I learned a touch of magic. A friend from high school, a lovely and talented wordsmith named Nico, posted this gem one day. I thought I would watch it. Could this be true?

I too have Louboutins. Yes I bought the right size but feet can fluctuate so while they feel fine most of the time, there is still a time or two when while wearing them I certainly didn't feel like I was dancing on pillows. So I tried. this. AND IT WORKS. So I tried it with two pairs of my fabulous croc platforms. DELICOUS. And just in time for the weekend. So pull out your favorite peep toes that pinch and give them a little icy spa treatment. I did try it with close toed shoes as well but let me suggest if you try this: Don't be in a hurry. They are sandwich bags after all and not made of titanium. One shoe full of water? Check. But quickly remedied.

And by the way friends of mine who love beauty tips and tricks, Michelle Phan has a litany of other fabulous YouTube posts and viewership in the millions.

But if high heel shoe therapy just isn't your bag, well, pass it along to one of your gal pals. They will thank you for it.

Have a gorgeous weekend friends.


Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Cool tip. Sorry about the foot. I can sympathize. I make noise when I get out of a chair. Where did that come from?

Ed said...

I can't wait to try this!

wait, what?

Unknown said...

Wow! What an idea! I wish I'd known about this back in the day!

Diane said...

I have the perfect pair of leather peep toes I'm trying this on today. Seriously. Ordered those babies a few months ago (in the size I ALWAYS wear!) and thought I was going to die before I got them off my feet! Thank you so much for sharing!

webb said...

What a cool, er cold, idea! Maybe I can actually wear higher heels this way. Sorry about the foot, tho. I think it was probably the running shoes, tho

ipenka said...

The doctor scene was hilarious. When I imagine his facial expressions, it goes from HAHAHA to serious in a split second.

Sorry to hear you're really a rickety old man but great story!

Nico said...

My favorite part of this clip is, "And if you live with someone, make sure they're okay with" putting your nasty-arse shoes atop the gelato.
But it works. I have *iced* long-standing, and in some cases, crippling squabbles with precious soles.
Sorry to hear about the arthritis. Maybe Louboutin will be one of those designers that evolves with us- LOL, but alas, a thick beige orthopedic shoe with a cmfm red sole runs countermeasure to my newfound shoe comforts.

Thanks again for the shoutout!

Mom in High Heels said...

Your doctor is FUNNY! Not wear heels. Ha, ha, ha.
I've done the ice trick before and it really does work! It will work with closed toe shoes, but you're right, it takes a while to get the bags out.
BTW, those cork heel slingbacks in the video are gorgeous. Also, the chick in the video has killer legs, so be default I simply can't like her. :)

JennyMac said...

@Secret Mom: Seriously...are we just getting old? Are noises next for me? I yi yi.

@Ed: Wait, you are being sarcastic? When did that start?

JennyMac said...

@Eva: I know. it is not a helpful tip when it is too late..haha.

@Diane: Let me know if it worked for you.

JennyMac said...

@Webb: totally blaming the running shoes! I ran 3 miles last night and my foot was SO upset.

@Ipenka..thank you. Luckily, my Doc has a sense of humor too.

JennyMac said...

@Nico: You are welcome.

@High Heeled: I need to do a better job on the close toe version. First attempt did not work as well.