Monday, August 1, 2011

I had a beaver once...

Oh what a blast we had in Seattle...wow...sun, fun, friends, dancing, wine and fabulous dinners. Oh, and my new favorite summer cocktail: The Moscow Mule...vodka, lime juice, ginger beer.  Today vacation is over and the chore list is as long as Yao Ming. But, in the spirit of a lot of laughter the past 12 days and some great reminiscing, I would love to share one of my favorite stories about my Mom. Originally posted in August of 2009, this story never fails to make me laugh (or tease my Mom...) 

A tiny brown beaver

A funny scenario at the park last Sunday prompted the memory of a comical family story from my childhood. I will post the park story soon but first let me share the memory it dished up.

When we were kids, our nightly family dinner was a great gathering fest. My older brother, Tumbleweed, and I frequently had our two BFFs over. The four of us would typically join my Mom and Stepdad (SD) for dinner.

One night Tumbleweed determined nothing could possibly pair better with the family dinner than an inappropriate joke. He was a freshman in high school so inappropriate jokes were likely all he knew. For nostalgia purposes, and for good story-telling, let me share the joke now.

What is the bellybutton for?
A place to put your gum on the way down.

My mom, sweet as a daisy I presumed, didn't quite get the joke. She asked for clarification. Down where? While the quartet of youngsters howled like monkeys, after some delay my SD provided a euphemism. His choice was "beaver". My mom, tilted her head and said, "I had a beaver once."

Now, I was only a kid at the time but I promise you I knew a historical moment when it presented itself. So I buckled in, and was certain it would be a story I would be telling for decades to come.

Our mom, went on to explain that her beautiful beaver was a pet. And how it was tiny and brown. And her brother unfortunately set it loose in the woods. Can you image telling a group of silly juveniles about your tiny brown beaver that got set loose in the woods? Immaturity knows no boundaries.

As we choked on laughter and meatloaf, my mom was surprised and dismayed by our reaction to her missing pet. Oh boy.

As we continued to carry on, she finally demanded to know what was so funny. So SD told her that he didn't really mean beaver as in the primarily nocturnal, semi-aquatic member of the rodent family. He explained the joke, and why we were cackling like jackals.

And once she realized, out of the kitchen she went as fast as her legs could carry her.

Ahhhh...Momcatt. Thanks for such a great memory.

And my mom is not Mrs. Ingalls. In fact, she is cool as hell so the fact she didn't get the joke, or know a very 80's slang term for the nether region, well, it was surprising.

So watch your words today, and if you find a loose beaver, you can airmail it back to my parents house. I am sure my Mom misses it.

15 comments:

the walking man said...

I hate to be the one to break the news but that beaver made it to a Cree village and now is a part of a coat I bought for my wife a number of years ago. It was the only way I could think of to have multiple beavers at the same time.

If it's any comfort to your mother tell her it still has beautiful un-shaved long hair.

Brian Miller said...

hahaha....oh my...parents can be so funny at times...glad you had fun in seattle...love that place...

bluzdude said...

So your mom obviously didn't see the original Naked Gun movie...

"Nice beaver!"

"Thank you, I had it stuffed myself."

diamond dave said...

That was a Beavis & Butthead moment if I ever heard one...

Eva Gallant said...

That is certainly hysterical AND historical!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

:-) Funny story.

Science Teacher Mommy said...

There is a park in the highly conservative Rexburg, Idaho called "Beaver Dick Park." Really. It is named after a conservationist whose first name was Richard and a great fan of the beaver, I guess.

How unfortunate.

Kir said...

Holy good Gawd, Can't.Stop.Laughing.

love your mom and YOU for sharing that :)

Helena Halme said...

The Englishman was once upon a time on a ship called HMS Beaver. Much hilarity ensued when it docket at Cape Canaveral...

Great post!

Helena xx

KittyCat said...

I recently went to a bar called " the Rowdy Beaver". Good times were had by all

So. Cal. Gal said...

I loved this story both times I read it. : ) My brothers had their own joke and 'I' had to explain it to mom because they suddenly lost the ability to speak.

Q. How do you make love to a fat woman?
A. Dip her in flour and find the wet spot.

Oy!

Bryce Daniels said...

I don't even remember how I ended up here, but glad I did! You are hilarious! Love the variety and humor in your posts. Please consider me a new follower.

W.C.Camp said...

I want to help I really do but all I found was a MOLE in my back yard and I doubt that your Mom will want that near her yard or ANYWHERE else! W.C.C.

Maria said...

I loved this when you posted it originally! What a riot!

Anonymous said...

Now that is funny stuff!