Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Happy Birthday, Baby...


I am in New York. I am not at home with you, pouring your smoothie or a bowl of Cheerios. I will see you tonight but this morning, all I can do is think about you. My baby. My only one who is slowly in front of my eyes turning into a man. I wrote this for you before. It still rings true. 'Love' doesnt begin to cover it, but in a short story, you are awesome.
I knew you were stirring about 12 hours after conception. How did I know? It is a puzzle. It is similar to waking up one day speaking fluent French when you had never before heard a word of it whispered. But I did know and as my body made way for you, I recognized I was approaching what would be the most important job I ever have.

Everyday as you grew and swam inside my tummy I committed to many things. One of those things was I read out loud to you everyday. I started at the beginning of The New York Times Complete Book of Knowledge and read you stories about the history of rock and roll, ballet, economics, modern science. The second thing was everyday, I put headphones on that growing abdomen and played you all of my favorite songs. (Sorry about the Ludacris song that slipped in the mix. That’s not appropriate for babies.) And I wonder if these daily acts influenced your strong proclivity towards words and music. And might explain how in a perfectly normal fashion you said the word paleontologist wen you were only two or how you started a sentence last summer with "First and foremost, Daddy."

And in your first minutes of life as we held you, you looked right in Daddy’s eyes. Having spent limited time with babies before you came, we couldn’t believe how small and fragile you were. Or that we made you. And here was something no two other people could create. And there you were, and the minute you began to unfurl your happiness into the world around us, I knew I wasn’t ever going to be the same.

I have been fortunate to be successful at many things I have tried. And the things I am not highly successful at i.e. beating Daddy at golf or surfing do not keep me from trying.

But the thing I want to be the most successful at is you. Being a Mom was a great aspiration but I never dreamed of fluffy wedding gowns and white picket fences as a girl. I wanted to know how to kick a soccer ball further and how to perfectly lip sync to Madonna. Oh, and how to argue effectively. You’ll see. But getting to know you has given me reason to really evaluate myself, and ask what kind of leader I will be to you. I am primarily good. I have responded with instincts I didn’t know I had. I have displayed patience that baffles my entire family. But they know the reason is you. But you bring goodness that is pure and true to light. But I am far from perfect. And in my life, I have been impatient more often than I should. And I have been unkind and ill-tempered at times. That is why I hope you only inherited certain parts of me. (And certain parts of Daddy while we on the subject.) 

I made you a list when you were three. I am giving it to you again because it is still early enough for you to select only the good qualities and positive influences we can share and discard the other.

Please inherit from Mom:

Sense of: humor, adventure, loyalty, protectiveness of others
Love of: music, athletics, laughter, travel, reading, cooking, and singing.

Interest in: education, diversity and culture, social issues, charity/philanthropy
Interest in style
Interest in fitness

Amazing memory
Dancing skills
Appropriately placed sarcasm

Please do not inherit from Mom:
Favored use of the F word
Interest in being right
Interest in debating (which is a nice word for arguing)
Interest in Rap Music (unless it's old school)
Interest in negotiating. Everything. (Or do inherit this and do NOT attempt to use this skill on me OR Daddy. Your grandparents can fend for themselves and thus are fair game.)
Interest in finding loopholes to get around rules
Interest in acceleration especially in vehicles
Amazing memory you will attempt to use against me at some point
Interest in frozen twinkies. They are good but actually disgusting.

Sissy scream upon seeing a snake 
Biting sarcasm
Smart-assery (There is a difference between sarcasm and smart-assery.) 

Please inherit from Dad:
Amazing golf skills
Ultra-high metabolism
Amazing eye color (yours look like mine at times, and his at times)
Tolerance for change
Emotional fortitude
Attention to detail
Pragmatic approach to all things
Vast interest in the world and seeing many parts of it

Please do NOT inherit from Dad:
Morning grumpiness and when I say morning I mean ALL morning
Facial expressions that do not hide true feelings especially when those feelings are not nice
Poor, poor dancing skills
Hatred of making the bed every day
Fairly high interest in Tequila
Over-zealous interest in Vegas

It is a rather slight list, my little love. And quite workable I hope. Thank you for being the best reason in the world to want to be a better person and an amazing Mom. I will do my earnest best to meet those goals.

Happy 6th birthday. We love you. 


KatiePerk said...

This post made me teary!! My daughter turns one on Saturday.
Happy Birthday Little one!!

Unknown said...

Wow! He's three already! Very nice post, and I know you are a great mom!

Unknown said...

Love this :)

Blicious said...

this post is so precious!

Ed & Jeanne said...

Eventually they morph into teenagers and you think..."what happened????"

The Balch Bunch said...

SO sweet I . LOVE . THIS.

Chain Stitch Crochet said...

Awww, this brought tears to my eyes. You, undoubtedly, are the best mom in the world. A person just needs to read this or anything else you have written to your loved ones, to know what kind of person you are. He's a very lucky little man to have you as his mother. One day he will speak that exact sentiment.