Monday, July 11, 2011

Saucy vixen

A word on personalized license plates: Really? Similar to bumper stickers, is there anything so clever that you need it on car plate? Like your superfly TNT version of a vehicular tattoo? My answer? A resounding no. Oh, I get it. Some of the license plates are too funny. Right. How many times have you seen one and laughed out loud? Hard to recall? Let me help, never. Oh, I know. Some people just put their last name on it. I have seen that o'plenty too. The last name is a slight improvement over this plate I saw:


Good job ladybug, because now anyone who sees you is given permission to look at you and verify if you are in fact, a cutie pie. And cutie pie is a tricky term really only used to either describe children OR used by people in their 70s. She was at least 30. Have fun living that down. BUT, at least it was a sweet sentiment.

On my commute to work this morning, I was behind this car:

WOW. Way to dirty up my Monday morning. Maybe when you went to order this from the DMV you should have employed a special trick called Second Thought and let me demonstrate how it works.
1. I want to get a license plate that will be interpreted as "I Lick. Bone Me."
2. On Second Thought: That is clearly a poor idea.

First, have you been to the DMV? The average DMV employee has a sense of humor similar to how you would feel watching Judge Judy and Bobby Knight on a sex tape. How in the world did the DMV approve this license plate?

And then after I sat behind this car for three more stop lights, did I realize. Oh, wait. Let me look again. Oh, now I see it. You actually meant: I Like Bein' Me.

Whoa. I didn't think it was possibly to swing that pendulum from Jenna Jamison to Stuart Smalley in that brief of a time frame. But consider it done.  And maybe my mind is too fast for my own good OR needs a gentle rinse with Woolite. (Let's vote for the first option, shall we?) And if you don't know who Jenna Jamison is, good for you Cotton Mather. There is no way I am putting a link to her here. Why not visit University of Google if needed.

So that is how my Monday morning started. Vrooom vrooom. That license plate sounds more like a Monkees song and not quite the creation of a saucy vixen as I first assessed. But for the self affirmation, on a license plate? That you never see because you are IN the car? Well, that is on the same plane curve as IMAQTPI. Hope your Monday is just as saucy.


vanilla said...

In my younger and I hope less brilliant day, I had a vanity plate. Then I came to realize that I am forcibly taxed enough without adding voluntary taxes.

I was thinking "mind rinse" before I got to your "Woolite" comment, but we'll give you a pass, considering the fun you brought to this Monday morning!

Unknown said...

I had a vanity plate with the name of the my employer for the last 3 years I was working. Maybe it's good that I retired!

A Daft Scots Lass said...


Kerry Ann @Vinobaby's Voice said...

Most vanity plates drive me nuts. I'll never forget one guy friend's custom tag for his new mustang: CKSDIGIT. Boys.

Cheers. VB

Unknown said...

bwhahah I am voting for the mind rinse.. mainly cause I have a saucy 'other' blog and I got the plate the first read . Ahem.

Simply Suthern said...

My mother in law, Who, Bless her heart, Aint quite right, decided she needed a vanity plate.

She shortened her first and last named and now proudly displays
"JEW HAM" on the rear of her car.

She still doesnt get how they dont quite go together.

The Bug said...

Jew Ham - LOL - oh that's too funny.

I had a vanity plate once - OPUSLUST (for the penguin, not the musical reference). I had it for one reason only - & it's the same reason I'd have one today if I could afford it - it's the only way for me to remember the darn tag number. I don't even know my own cell phone number so there's no way I can remember my car tag number without assistance :)

Tami G said...

OMG - what a GREAT laugh to start my Monday with! HILARIOUS!!!

Maybe I need a brain rinse too because I knew EXACTLY what you saw on the plate and EXACTLY who good ol' Jenna is! LMAO


Kristina P. said...

Mine would just say Snuggie. Boom.

Jennifer Vanderbeek said...

A few years ago I got a personalized tag, it reads "R4ND0M" aka Random, aka the first name of my comics company, Random Acts Comics. (It's also our "State of the Arts" tag, so yes, I pay for the personalization AND the arts funding fee.)

It's fun, it makes me smile, and in a sea of Blue Saturns, that tag and my antenna topper are the only way I don't lose my car in the parking lot :)

I remember reading a story about how inmates (who make the tags) will alert their superiors to questionable tags that make it past the first round of rejects. Very enlightening.

Mrs. M said...

I don't know where your mind spends most of it's time but my first translation was "I like being me". :)

BB said...

I hate the ones that make absolutely no sense no matter how hard you try to figure it out. Guess they are called vanity plates because people are 'vain'.

SmartBear said...

Okay...aside from the fact that I HATE personalized licensed plates (almost as much as I hate those dumb ass stick figure stickers of families and their pets..ugh...barf) What really gets my goat is when I can't understand the license plate. Like, I can't read it. If one gets a personalized license plate shouldn't we ALL get it?
Confession: the lamest boy I dated in college in Lawrence had a plate that read "EXSQZME". Seriously. Lame.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

LOL. I have better things to spend my money on.

Anonymous said...

Ha!! That is truly hilarious. I was loving it much more when I thought it meant "Bone Me". But I guess "Bein Me" makes more sense. Maybe.

Slamdunk said...

Perhaps the driver is actually laughing at all of us as it represents multiple messages depending on the reader.

Jenna Jamison? Country star? Disney network actress? Oh wait, I remember her now. Yikes...

the walking man said...

If you had 8 more kids you could have Mac 10 as your plate.

which could be handy with 8 kids

Intense Guy said...

I think you could easy get by with 2SXY4PNTS

MammaDucky said...

My sister had vanity plates her senior year in high school. Her boyfriend's mother thought that to be an awesome Christmas gift. She was a HUGE U2 fan so she got "BONOGRL." Problem being, we lived in southern California at a time when Sonny Bono's political career was in high gear. Fail.

Eric said...

You could get one with 'YNJ EN1' and see if people can unscramble the anagram to get 'Jenny 1'... Ohhh, what fun.

Haha, maybe 'NAK REW' for the typical guy that gets one of these?

Pseudo said...

My hubs says with all the road rage these days, vanity plates are just asking for trouble. Why make it easy for creepos to remember your car?

JennyMac said...

@vanilla, I beat you to "mind rinse"
@Eva: haha, work vanity plates don't count on my sliding scale because you don't get a choice.

@Lass: Thanks Misses.

JennyMac said...

@Vino and SS...those two license plates are terrible...but JewHam made me laugh out loud. NO, they dont go together. are clearly a sweeter minded girl them me. Ahem. :)

JennyMac said...

@Bug: you get an exception if you cant remember your own cell phone. :)

Tami G: AMen sister.

@KP: I would expect NOTHING less than Snuggie from you.

JennyMac said...

Scraps: Again, work plate exception. :)

Mighty M: Your plate would read "Angel" and not "Dirty minded" like mine. Wait, thats too many letters. thankfully.

@Bouncin: exactly. I had a sorority sister in college and all of her parents cars had their last name followed by a number. Really?

@Smart: That is lame. HAHA. And hilarious.

JennyMac said...

@Secret: as do I. haha.

@Sweet Home Amy: Bone me was at least funnier.

@Slams. HAHA..I love that you pretended to initially NOT know. LOL. just kidding. Right?

JennyMac said...

@Walking: If I had 8 kids, I would need a plate reading "Help pay for Vasectomy"

@Iggy: SWEET idea and I should see if that is taken

@MammaDucky. hahahaha. Poor choice of Bono for sure.

@Eric: I would prefer JMACINC.

@Pseudo..great point. And I do not like to provoke the already enraged drivers in ATL for any reason...sassy license plate or otherwise.

So. Cal. Gal said...

My dad rocked the last name license plate. Wait. No he didn't.

A self-proclaimed 'cutie pie' usually isn't.

In my 20's, I briefly entertained 'QueenB' for a plate but decided that being known as a b**ch (by anyone other than family) probably wasn't a good idea.

Maria said...

Vanity tag= EPIC FAIL.

By the way, I need a splash of bleach for erase your version of the tag...Jenna indeed...LOL

Anonymous said...

I Lick Bone Me is so much better. Ha!