Television: How I can mock it and love it at the same time.

Can I poke fun of something? Just a smidge? 

I thought television took a closer step towards deterioration when I witnessed Madonna and Lady Gaga wrestle on an episode of SNL. Lady Gaga’s folle couture makes Elton John’s costumes of yesteryear look about as creative as a jumpsuit from the Federal Pen. That skit seemed positively Golden Globe worthy compared to the recent news Jersey Shore has been renewed for a second season. 

Now, I will admit something. This is a situation in which experience does not a better judge make. I have not seen the show.  I have also never eaten a cow carcass I found in the woods. And I don’t need to in order to know, that isn’t going down easy. From the brief news snippets I have seen, I don’t need to see the show.

From one photo alone, I haven’t seen this much orange since my last trip to Home Depot. They have clearly spent the past decade soaking. Soaking their innards in MadDog 20/20 and their exteriors in some type of bronzer which appears mixed from Sunny Delight and Buffalo wing sauce. Is that spray tan? Then someone needs 20 kinds of refund. 

Oh, MTV, I thought you stopped ingesting inhalants long ago but I am clearly so very wrong. Because MTV agreed to contract negotiations when cast members wanted a face off regarding salary. They are getting paid????? I thought the only person who made money from drinking, punching people, and having sex was Eminem. 

And the cast is making 10K per episode. Which by my calculations is $9,999.99 over current market value. Maybe a guilty pleasure for some but can't I just send you some chocolate?

And since all of the cast members except for one are from New York, I have one comment. Poor, poor New York. When given the choice, David Paterson probably paid MTV to film it elsewhere. Just when you think Joey Buttafuoco will be the biggest clown a state has ever seen. WRONG again.  Is there a DBag meter powerful enough to calibrate this show?  I admit I watched the first season of Joe Millionaire so I am not so lofty that I can't confess to watching crap tv but Jersey Shore is a show where a woman gets punched. In her face.

Apparently, none of the cast members have parents who own or watch television because I can't fathom what my own parents would say. And if you like the show, don't be mad at me. I am not making fun of Twilight! 

And, like any relationship containing highs and lows, TV knows when to give it to me good. TV gave me a smile on Grammy night. Surprise visits from a rock legend like Stevie Nicks and the duet between Elton and Gaga kept it interesting. And I fully admit to dancing in the living room to Imma Be. But for those of you who missed it, this clip was a highlight of the night.

You may not be a fan of this performer, but I found the vocals, and the Cirque performance such a stunning departure from her gritty moto-cross bar-fight protocol. I already like the song but this performance was incredible.  




And don't forget, I Jimmy Choo. Do you? Contest ends February 10.