Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Not exactly the publicity Ford is looking for...

One night many years ago, out with girlfriends, we drove over to one of our favorite establishments in Atlanta. At this time, I was driving a SUV, and I drove a group of friends in one car while another girlfriend drove a group of friends in her SUV. As we pulled into the parking lot to valet, two blonde bombshells were attempting to back out of a parking space. I say attempting because it certainly didn't seem to be going smoothly but I think too many vodka and red bull slammers PRIOR to driving are never a good idea. As the driver continued to try to back straight out of the spot, she seemed confused. It only mattered to us because she was blocking the entrance to the lot and we were unable to go forward, further congesting the entrance and the street.

Suddenly, the driver sees someone she knows and leaves the car in midstream to have several minutes of chit chat. It was a beautiful late summer night so all the windows were down in our cars. After about two more painful minutes, I mean, our livers are not watering themselves, I honk my horn and say, "Please MOVE."

I receive a scowl in return which phases me very liittle. She doesn't move. Cars behind us honk. I lay on the horn. It's an ugly sound, I know, but simple common sense and basic driving skills didn't seem to be in her posse that night so I felt the long ugly horn blast was necessary. She slams the car in reverse and peels out of the spot, as she pulls up next to me she leans out the window and shouts over my stereo, "Nice FOUR DOOR!"

Nice four door? What does that mean? We pull around the lot to the front entrance and give our cars to valet. As we meet up with our friends, one of them asks WTF was the situation with the girl in the Mercedes. I said she clearly was too smart to drive and yet, I was baffled by her nice four door comment.

My friend J9 laughed out loud and responded, "That is not what she said."
I replied, "No, she leaned out her window and yelled "Nice four door! which is odd because she was also driving a four door vehicle."

"JennyMac," J9 paused, "She didn't yell nice four door. She yelled, NICE FORD, WH*RE."

I burst out laughing too. Primarily because I had never heard someone string those words together in a sentence before. And even when I left the Ford SUV and upgraded to my dream car, I still can't imagine hearing anyone repeat that sentence. And also because that is not exactly the publicity Ford is looking for.

30 comments:

Chez Zizi said...

You always have a little funny to make me laugh. That certainly is funny. Hey, at least she was a quick thinker! Her intelligence was obviously lacking.
Have a great day!
Zizette

vanilla said...

Got your ear attuned to witch speak that night, didn't you? I love to start my day with a good laugh, and you have provided that!
Thank you.

Ed said...

Everything in this post can be explained by one word in the description of her.....blonde.

Enough said.

Add to that her obvious dunkeness, and it probably sounded a lot closer to what you thought than what she said.

Ms. Charity P. said...

That is hilarious, I can totally picture this. And OMG, you were driving a FORD?! How dreck! *sarcasm*

Science Teacher Mommy said...

And you hadn't even been drinking yet. Of course, Blondie had been.

I used to think that song "Hungry Eyes" was called "Your Green Eyes." I don't know why: it makes no sense that the singer should be singing about having somebody else's green eyes. That's just gross.

As for the e-mail thing. . . I didn't realize I could specify another address than the one I log in with, but I think I've cleared another hurdle in my technological awkwardness and am now properly linked. Try again if you are so inclined.

Erin said...

Thanks for the morning laugh, and I will never be able to look at Ford drivers again without snickering that sentence to myself :)

Intense Guy said...

Some people really ought not be driving at all. Ford or otherwise.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Too good a story! You DEFINITELY need to get in touch with Ford and talk about doing some advertising for them.
I swear! I can think of many slogans that seem equally ridiculous.

TKW said...

Clearly, that girl had no manners.

I laughed so hard at this!

RNSANE said...

Definitely, she had an air of entitlement...but to what she's entitled, who can say? Spoiled all her life, probably, and over the legal limit in the alcohol department, I'm sure.

Funny story.

RNSANE said...

Definitely, she had an air of entitlement...but to what she's entitled, who can say? Spoiled all her life, probably, and over the legal limit in the alcohol department, I'm sure.

Funny story.

Wow, that was awkward said...

Ahahahahaha! That is awesome. Now I can't wait to see which of my friends drives a Ford so I can use that line.

Pricilla said...

Perhaps had you leaned on your cell phone to call the police to report a drunk driver....

And let me say that my Mustang was about the best car I had ever owned. Fast, sleek and oh so fun to drive.

Kristina P. said...

Was she a whorse?

MixtressSamiJoe said...

Bawahahahahah! OM that is funny!

singedwingangel said...

As a mother of a child conceived either on the trunk or hood of a Ford Mustang I would have been forced to get out and whip her all over the parking lot..

Mommy Lisa said...

:) Totally funny. That is a phrase I cannot ever imagine either.

Eva Gallant said...

I suspect we won't see that scene re-enacted in a Ford commercial soon!

Michon said...

That is totally a Saturday Night Live skit! Ha!

Kristy said...

Bwa, ha, ha!! Great story!

Shelly - Tropical Mum said...

I didn't have a clue until I read to the end. I was thinking it must be the driver's equivalent to the Four Eyes taunt of the school playground.

Stopping by after way too long. Glad to see you're still as funny as ever.

K A B L O O E Y said...

Not your fault -- you can't hear a comma. Thanks for my new favorite catch phrase. I'm going to have a lot of 'splaining to do, but it'll be worth it. I'm going to be cracking my own self up all week ovefr that one, so thanks again, Jenny Mac.

So. Cal. Gal said...

When I began using the w/c, I went to PT for some time. One side was all windows, looking out at the parking lot. We had soooo much fun watching elderly drivers try to back their Lincoln Continentals out of their parking space.

And that broad was just jealous. ; )

Kir said...

You take the simple stories and give them so much depth and funny!

That girl doesn't know her Ford from her backside....;)

Hookin It With Mr. Lick Lick said...

I happen to like Fords.....she was green.......monster......gilled.....yea...too much to drink. lol. It's too bad you didn't hear what she said so you could have laughed in her face and pi**ed her off even more.

lafemmeroar said...

Hilarious ... blonde bombshells mistakenly thought all women were like them.

Mrs. Pickle said...

That story was great! I could just picture the bitch now :)

secret agent woman said...

I like how she jumped from "you are annoying me with your insistence on consideration on my part" to "your car sucks ad you are a slut."

Allison O. said...

Hmm, would I have been puttin' the Ho* in Tahoe if I'd held the horn down? Really, Jen - I just don't understand why you didn't get your SnoHo on and throw that baby into 4WD and park on top of her "Nice Four-Door." heh-heh.

Maria said...

WOW!! I cannot imagine what fine automobile she was driving (or attempting to drive) for her to come up with that one...ALso, kind of shows what a shallow person you were dealing with...Speechless!