Monday, February 21, 2011

The simplest way to kill romance

The simplest way to kill romance with your husband: 

Wait until your son is fast asleep.

Enjoy a fabulous meal and glasses of vino with husband.

Thoroughly enjoy that this meal and beverage is without your son's frequent call of " MOMMMMMMY" and "DADDDDDDDDY" which goes on, oh, about 20 times per day and sounds VERY MUCH like Whitney Houston calling "BOBBBBY, BOBBBBBBBBBBY."

Enjoy the vino a little too much and have several additional glasses.

Fail to realize that vino + waking up at 6 am + a long run that day does not equal high energy.

Let vino catch up to you but not before your husband goes to make his move.

As you promenade to your boudoir start singing "Mr. Golden Sun" a toddler song you learned from your son.

Fail to realize that "Mr. Golden Sun" while popular in your son's classroom, is NOT popular with your husband.

Fail to stop singing "Mr. Golden Sun" so your husband exits boudoir to brush his teeth, hoping, you will cease and pronto.

Fall asleep before your husband returns.
_____

I could blame it on the early morning, long run and extra vino but we have had all that before. I blame it on Mr. Golden Sun.

Word to the wise: Singing "Mr. Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me..." = NOT an aphrodisiac.

41 comments:

  1. AleezaFebruary 21, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    haha--love this post. ill keep the tips in mind when i/if i get married :D

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  2. UnknownFebruary 21, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    BWhahahhaha *snort* umm at least you weren't singing anything by the Veggie tales.. like I gots to tell you sumfin I don't got no belly button

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  3. BBFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:02 AM

    I think this is a tip you need to give to all newlyweds! haha.

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  4. Chez ZiziFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:10 AM

    Very funny. I actually like that little song, but yes it is not an aphrodisiac.
    Better song selection next time.
    Zizette

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  5. Simply SuthernFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    I can see how that might not have been the best song of choice.

    Romance killer in my household was the Saturday chainsaw massacre of the Crape Myrtles and everyother low lying limbs. We were whooped by days end. But hey, the yard looks better.

    Was a nice day for a run thought wernt it?

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  6. Secret Mom ThoughtsFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    I will remember not to sing Mr. Golden Sun when trying to get lucky.

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  7. Andrea McKayFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    LOL! But when you start singing that song, you just can't stop. And now it is playing in my head on repeat.

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  8. webbFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    Are you telling us that your husband is not up on current trends in music? And, just when you were trying to help enlarge his.... cultural world. How odd?

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  9. Jen FeenyFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    LOL! Priceless!!! My romance is ruined because of marathon training period. Both of us are way too tired to make it sexy.

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  10. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    Oh you poor thing!!!!

    *listing this as another reason not to have kids*

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  11. TKWFebruary 21, 2011 at 9:18 AM

    Have you been spying on me? This scenario sounds eerily familiar.

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  12. EdFebruary 21, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    Nice one, Sleeping Beauty.

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  13. JenFebruary 21, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    LOL... I will be sure to heed your advice. :)

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  14. KittyCatFebruary 21, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    SOmetimes you just cant help being sleepy.

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  15. Kristina P.February 21, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    I think this sounds perfectly romantic!

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  16. KirFebruary 21, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    LOL...
    are there any words to say to this...? Maybe you should be singing, "I have a little turtle"?
    nah....

    thanks for the giggle..hoping you made up for it on day #2 ;)

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  17. UnknownFebruary 21, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    That song didn't turn him on? What's wrong with him?

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  18. McValFebruary 21, 2011 at 5:31 PM

    LOL!
    item #7, don't throw in a joke that gets you both giggling. You might think laughing is a turn on, but if you can't help from still laughing and giggling, it turns into a turn off...

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  19. Vivienne @ the V SpotFebruary 21, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Thank goodness you weren't singing about Mr. Golden Showers, cuz that would just be foul and nasty.

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  20. J.J. in L.A.February 21, 2011 at 6:17 PM

    Neither is when my man sings the theme song to the tv show "Mr. Ed". He thinks it's funny but he should've caught on (by now) that it doesn't promote romance.

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  21. secret agent womanFebruary 21, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    Funny how there's a tipping point with wine from sexy to somnolent.

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  22. UnknownFebruary 21, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    I have wonderful news: The 'boudoir' is a much funner place when the kids are grown and out of the house. You can sing anything you damn well please, since tunes from any program with "Junior" in the title will have long since faded from memory.

    Just sayin'...

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  23. Inge'February 22, 2011 at 6:24 AM

    I didn't even make it past dinner lol. Fell asleep so soundly hubs is now calling me "Queen Tut without the bling."

    When I quit laughing over this new nickname, I am sure I will choke him like a chicken.

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  24. The SavageFebruary 22, 2011 at 6:51 AM

    It really could be an aphrodisiac if you explain to him that he is Mr. Sun and shining down on you is a euphemism....

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  25. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 8:21 AM

    Ha, ha. Still, I'm sure you will be forgiven - we all get it wrong sometimes, don't we? Nevertheless, occasional c*ck-ups (or not, in this case) are often funny, whilst repeating the same actions endlessly and expecting a different result is a clear sign of insanity (or politics). LOL

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  26. brainellaFebruary 22, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    Children, all the way around, are romance killers. I'm surprised people have more than one kid... ;)

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  27. Kristy @LoveandblasphemyFebruary 22, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    It is also so not an aphrodisiac to being called "mommy" by your husband. I do not like that.

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  28. Science Teacher MommyFebruary 22, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Um . . . I learned that song with my nine-year old when he used to watch BARNEY. Also not an aphrodisiac. Are you sure you hadn't been drinking when you were singing too? ;)

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  29. Grand PoobaFebruary 22, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    Duly noted!

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  30. EricFebruary 22, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    I think Liela Moss from 'The Duke Spirit' could in fact, make that song sexy. Just sayin'.

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  31. MariaFebruary 22, 2011 at 10:50 PM

    Ahh...But the vino is SOOO good! Now, if we could only remember to indulge AFTER the romantic part, we could have the best of both worlds...Hope the rest of the weekend getaway was fabulous...

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  32. Ashley StoneFebruary 23, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    It's that magic number! My husband knows that if I drink more than 2-3 glasses, I'm out!

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  33. Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog?February 23, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    I know the song well, and know the dance that accompanies it too. The original Barney cast's dance that is, not the newbies... how sad am I.

    And, once again, you've managed to plant a song in my head that really has no business spending time in there. THANKS, JM. Thanks a lot.

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  34. AnitaFebruary 23, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    Well now you know what to do the next time you're NOT in the mood. :)

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  35. NitmosFebruary 24, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    For the record, Whitney Houston isn't an aphrodisiac either. Especially since that whole spoon/butt story came out....

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  36. HalfAsstic.comFebruary 24, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    I can see that "Mr. Golden Sun" is now going to be a catch-phrase between you and John with... special meaning. ;-)

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  37. Girl in Baggy GreensFebruary 25, 2011 at 12:33 AM

    Awesome blog. I have ruined the romance once or twice with too much wine or too many cocktails and falling asleep in the taxi on the way home from a romantic dinner with my husband. I'm going to follow for sure :-)

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  38. StephanieFebruary 25, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    Bwhahah replace Mr. Golden Sun with me doing oan impersonation of Sandra Bullock in Ms.Congeniality singing "You think I'm pretty, you want to kiss me" and we are living the same life!
    Love this!

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  39. mandatorybloghereFebruary 25, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    Its their own fault My hubby likes me to have a few drinks because he says I am a bit more wild so it is his fault if I pass out before the fun begins

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  40. LunaFebruary 27, 2011 at 6:34 AM

    lol, wow what a night.

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  41. ThatsBaloneyFebruary 27, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    I'm pretty sure my husband would have no problem tuning that out.

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Now, let's talk about your feelings....