Thursday, September 30, 2010

Why Vodka, you dirty little tramp

Oh, let's start off our day with some scuttlebutt. By the way, this post is Rated R.  

Have you seen this? 

This is one of five images from the new Skyy Sexy ad campaign and it has several people up in arms. From claims it is "porn-a-hol" to statements from people in the liquor industry asserting it is "over the top." (Because people in the liquor industry should definitely remark on alcohol advertising being over the top. Hey people in the liquor industry, I love your shiny glass house.)

Skyy Vodka is the best selling domestic vodka in the US. This new campaign is intended to reach a "new generation"  of vodka drinkers as well as loyal Skyy fans.

Appearing next month in mags like Cosmo, Maxim, Rolling Stone, let's assume there is a reason these ads won't be placed in WSJ, Time, or Laura Ingalls' This Month on the Prairie.

Says Andrea Conzonato, the COO/CMO of Skyy, these images have "the brand’s iconic cobalt blue bottle serving as the focal point of intrigue...and [the idea was] to fill each ad with striking images that open the mind to a million sexy possibilities, but always lead you back to our world-famous blue bottle.”

I don't really like or dislike the ad. Have I seen better ads? Yes. Have I seen worse ads? Yes. I will let you decide if you like it or not. 

While it may be provocative and edgy, here is what it is not: This ad, and the placement of the blue bottle in it are not the "focal point of intrigue." Focal point of intrigue? Come on now. Is that intriguing? Almost as intriguing as a certain videotape of Screech from Saved By the Bell. Oh, what is that Skyy Vodka? We are wrong? We believe this woman about to get down and dirty with that bottle Rock of Love style but really, they are just talking about their feelings and discussing china patterns? Oh, you prankster Skyy Vodka. You tricked us! That IS intriguing. Or, we were right the first time.  That is what you think is intriguing. Because people are OFTEN captivated by the mere illusion of a woman getting carnal with a glass bottle. PS: There is a reason this type of imagery doesn't have market share in the porn industry.

I also like the claim that the image "opens the mind to a million sexy possibilities." Hmmmm, one peek at that photo and I can think of just a few possibilities:

1. A latex bodysuit might sound like a good idea but I have a feeling it isn't. Even if you wished for one once, you probably don't own one. For a reason. Nor did you borrow one just to get photographed in it. 
2. Oh, and latex is hot, and not the good kind of hot either. My hands can't take more than five minutes in those bright yellow dish washing gloves.
3. That bottle seems gigantic. Ms. Red Latex must be one of those gals who has had 18 babies already.
4. Wow, I do like those red heels. 

While  Skyy Vodka also believes it "revolutionized" the vodka industry, the brand's ads also "served noticed vodka can not only be sophisticated, it could be playful, alluring and downright sexy."

I will be the first to say, this ad is not remotely sophisticated. In fact, a group of fraternity freshman likely conjure up that imagery on a weekly basis. Playful? If you think penetration by a element sixteen times the size of your torso is playful, you belong in the movie industry.  
And not the Pixar movie industry either. Alluring? Why Vodka, you dirty little tramp. That is not a bit alluring. I vote alluring out with intriguing.  And downright sexy? Oh, you are telling us sex sells? Really. We heard. From Hugh Hefner. About four decades ago. Downright sexy? Hmmmm, I have been known to have a sip or two extra of Skyy Vodka in the past and I am sure I thought I was all kinds of downright sexy. The tapes say otherwise. 

JUST KIDDING! I have no tapes but the photo of me with me hair piled on top of my head blowing smoke rings (and I don't smoke) proved that Skyy Vodka and I have no business being friends. 

Now, let's end our review of this apparent scandal with some G Rated Good News:
Who will be enjoying a Salsalicious Gift Set compliments of my friends at Salsabol?
Jenn @ You know..that blog and MommaAmma. Congrats! Superbowl Party at your houses! Maybe you can serve Skyy Vodka and make the Superbowl downright sexy.

Email me and I will put you in touch with the fab duo running that company. Enjoy!

45 comments:

Brian Miller said...

its not vodka i want...smiles.

My name is PJ. said...

Ditto what you wrote. As long as they don't run print ads in Highlights magazine or Little Golden Books...

How stupid and easily influenced do they think the vodka drinking public is? Oh wait, I think I'm catching on here....

The Savage said...

If I did the ad I would have been a three phase photo series.. Number one would be a picture of the bottle of sky with some ugly Joe holding it and the word "This" on the pic. The second would be the same Joe with Beyonce' or Shakira and the words "Can land you this." Then the final would be a pic of same Joe in bed with Mimi from The Drew Carrey Show and the words "But you'll most likely end up with this. Drink responsibly."

For some reason they turned down my idea... no clue why. I'm not really that great a river dancer...

Maria said...

Good God! If they want to sell vodka, all they have to do is put it next to the Midol at the pharmacy...Plus vodka isn't sexy, it makes you think you are, often with disastrous results...What in heavens' name were they thinking?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

love the heels and latex stockings.

the walking man said...

In order to achieve Skyy's stated purpose for the advertisement the bottle would need to be turned upside down and the logo would then be pointing to what they don't want to say but want to use as imagery.

jules said...

HA HA HA. That lady IS about to get down and dirty with that vodka. Ugh, that outfit would be disgustingly hot too.

Kat said...

Wow. Just wow. I can only agree with everything you said - twice. Obviously the ad was written by a man. No woman in their right mind would find this sexy. I personally prefer the Savage's ad campaign. But I guess the truth hurts! Kat

Susan Erickson said...

The colors put me off before the message got through....tacky. tacky, tacky....right out of the noon show at the local strip bar.....I would be less likely to buy their vodka after seeing that ad!

Herding Cats said...

You know....yah it's kind of a skanky ad. But a LOT of ads are! Sadly, sex sells. I don't even think it's a GREAT sexy ad. I look at it and go "meh" but then again, latex doesn't do it for me much.

Herding Cats said...

You know....yah it's kind of a skanky ad. But a LOT of ads are! Sadly, sex sells. I don't even think it's a GREAT sexy ad. I look at it and go "meh" but then again, latex doesn't do it for me much.

Mighty M said...

Clearly the latex is there to keep her dry....can't believe you didn't see that! :)

Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog? said...

Hey, I won! How cool is that?? Love that bowl! Thanks JM :D

Yeah, I don't find the idea of getting sexy with that bottle (um, or any bottle, thanks) appealing. And my mind went immediately to how hot and sweaty that model must have been in the full coverage latex... and that is as un-sexy as it gets for me. Egad. I'd call that a fail on advertising.

Not that I'll stop drinking vodka, mind you... didn't turn me off. Just didn't do anything for me.

I'll drop you a line shortly - thanks again!!

The Blogging Goddess said...

Perhaps their new market is the frat boy??

Ed said...

I was the inspiration model for that bottle.

It's a gift.

And yes, latex is hot. Condoms are like a sauna suit for your penis.
Big that's cool, cause mine could stand to loose a few pounds.

Eva Gallant said...

Tbhat ad definitely falls into the category of tacky. But I still like vodka!

TKW said...

All I could think of was how uncomfortable that bodysuit must be...ick.

Simply Suthern said...

It cant be any worse than the radio add for Budweiser. Party in the background and the annoucer states you were pobably conceived on a night like this. Drink responsibly.

Eric said...

In my mind, I see the red latex lady pole dancing doing some kind of inverted slide down the ginormous vodka bottle.

And then she stands up, dusts the blue off, and pours and brings me a vodka-based drink. Mmmm vodka.
Mmmm ladies. haha.

Caty said...

I like The Savage's idea above!! I'm not sure Sky would though :)

Holly said...

I personally do not find this ad offensive at all. Sure, I'm a very difficult person to offend, but it seems just like a liquor ad to me. Since her naughty parts are not included in the photo, anyone who assumes she's doing anything dirty with the bottle are most likely thinking too deeply into it. And I hate it when society's collective panties get all bunched up into a wad over a big box of nothing.

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I personally don't find that ad very esthetically pleasing. But I'm not offended. I don't even really consider it sexy, the colors are well....ugly. But that's just my opinion :)

Slamdunk said...

Good points. The ad is a swing and miss with me, but being a dad over the last decade certainly puts me out of touch with what is good in most circles.

Enjoy your day JM.

Fragrant Liar said...

The model is wearing a giant red condom, so there'll be no sexy sophisticated sex tonight, especially with the giant blue phallic symbol. And that's really the subliminal message, isn't it? Don't drink and dive? Perhaps Trojan had a part in this. This is just a twisted PSA?

I'm neither offended nor induced to buy vodka based on this ad. I do think it's provocative and interesting, but only because of the said giant red condom and stilettos. But really, the bottle is facing the wrong way.

Loved your review though.

Kristina P. said...

I have a feeling this ad will result in a lot of "That's what she said!" jokes.

McKenzie said...

I wouldn't run out and buy it with that ad, hah. But Skyy Vodka is my vodka of choice.

Yankee Girl said...

It's definitely not sexy...and was probably meant for the early 20-something male crowd. I am so not that demographic.

hotpants™ said...

This one doesn't offend me. I've seen much worse.

Mommy Lisa said...

This is about as sexy as Katy Perry's outfit on Sesame Street.

SoccerMom said...

It makes me think of cocks.
and I would totally buy it if I saw this ad. : )

and I dont even drink vodka.

Matty said...

Like it or not, their ad is getting just what the company wanted out of it.

Attention.

Erin said...

Matty's right! It definitely gets attention!

;-)

The Random Blogette said...

I am so not offended by this, but I also am wondering if that latex clad lady has a giant shma-shma to fit that giant blue bottle in. And it makes my shma-shma hurt just by looking at it!

Inge' said...

Would have been sexier if she had been wearing fishnets and black stilettos. Just my opinion. I am trying a new organic vodka. Guy at the liquor store described it as "dangerous". Better hide my camera!

Prosy said...

The first thing that came to my mind was if those were extremely tall red leather boots or if it was a latex suit with the shoes built in. Because it looks like one continuous piece.

And that is why I haven't had sex in three months.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I'm all for provactive and sexy. This one seems more like comical and....impossible. (or painful)

J.J. in L.A. said...

Maybe it's because I'm burdened with 5 brothers, but I LMAO the second (and I mean the second) I saw that pic. Your writing was the cherry on top of the vodka bottle. : )

Little Ms J said...

Gerard Butler could have that bottle taped over his junk and I still wouldn't want to drink it. Headache Vodka. Bleh.

Ok, fine.. if Gerard had it taped over his junk and I had to drink it to get...

Never mind.

BPOTW said...

It all depends on where your mind is, I suppose!

DaisyGal said...

Not offended, in fact it seems pretty NON Offensive to me...I personally Like the red against the blue..oh that's not what you were talking about..

well, I don't want to have sex looking at it...but maybe if I had a shot....then we could discuss it. LOL

Dear Lord, is this who we've become? We're so sexulaized but something like this makes people go crazy...I think they are the ones who REALLY NEED A DRINK from that bottle.

Just sayin.....

Toe said...

They just need to add a white dove and call it patriotic instead of sexy sophisticated. Also the bottle is pointed the wrong way to make this inappropriate.

Jaime said...

porn-a-hol?

it's just a pair of legs wrapped around a bottle. hardly pornographic.

Baloney said...

That ad says sophisticated alright.

Intense Guy said...

Is it me? or would it work better if the pointy end of the bottle was the other way around?

K A B L O O E Y said...

Fragrant Liar beat me to it. The model is wearing a giant red full-body condom. Or dental dam. Vaginal tupperware. Whatever. At least it's saving her from being raped by that giant blue penis. So very titillating. I'm wet. Wait, that's perspiration. Just let me get out of this latex bodysuit. Ow! Snagged it on my f*ck-me-pumps and cracked my head against the keyboard. I HATE it when that happens.