Thursday, August 12, 2010

Naughty girls and boys

Not long ago, MiniMac returned from his daily sojourn at school to tell us that Daisy, one of his classmates, is his new girlfriend. He also informed us that Allison is also his girlfriend.  (Already two-timing? What?)

Testing his understanding of the word I asked if Meredith was his girlfriend too. He said no, she was just a friend. "What about Bonkers McNewKid?" I asked. "No, I don't like Bonkers McNewKid," he responded.

The following weekend, we all attended a birthday party for one of MiniMac's classmates. Daisy’s parents were there and they, like us, find it cute our kids call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. As soon as we walked in the door, Daisy shouted “There’s my boyfriend MiniMac!”

Later, I saw Allison's Mom. I told her MiniMac had let us know Allison was also his girlfriend.

Did she respond with a knowing laugh and giggle. Of course not. I couldn't be so lucky.

Instead, I received a lecture about how we as parents were being inappropriate. Inappropriate? I think she misheard me over all the ruckus and child-like melee. When I said "MiniMac thinks Allison is his girlfriend" she heard "MiniMac is sending dirty text message to Allison to meet him in the backseat of his playmobile."

She then asked me how come I was allowing this to go on in my home. I told her he actually learned it at school and since we didn't have an issue, she could take it up with his teachers. She told me she already had. I proceeded to bite my tongue which was very very challenging. I applaud any Mom who feels comfortable drawing lines and voicing her concerns. I do however need to take deep breaths when a Mom tells me MiniMac is very "naughty" for saying such things.This is the part where I say think Lighten up, Francis.

She actually said the word naughty. Like our son is an unruly leprechaun. Or up for review by Santa's elves.

I can empathize that we are a sexually advanced society. Fourteen year old kids know more about sex than some adults. But our toddlers weren't playing doctor. They do not in essence even know what the terms boyfriend and girlfriend denote. And I think parents can set whatever boundaries they choose. For their own children. If you are trying to protect your daughter, set all the boundaries you like. We don't even say "damn" in front of MiniMac but that he claims to have a girlfriend phases me very little.
Ironically, the following week when I brought MiniMac to school, I saw Allison having a talk with the teacher because she had lipstick on. Not Bonnie Bell watermelon lip smacker. Lipstick. She wasn't ready for a toddler pageant by any means but the irony was not lost on me. You are fine with your daughter wearing lipstick. To school.

And last week, I saw Allison kiss a boy in class right on the mouth.

Oh Allison, you better quit being naughty! And remind me to NEVER sign up to be room parent with your Mom. I have not acquired the patience yet. Maybe that can be a  often tried with no success exercise in futility New Year's Resolution. Perfect. Which means I do not have to work on it for months.

62 comments:

singedwingangel said...

Seriously? Mom got her panties in a wad over that? Yet the child wore LIPSTICK to school? That is just absolutely silly to have a fit over that. Is she aware it could be a gazillion other things..

Matty said...

You had more constraint that I would have. If she had the gumption to tell you that your child was acting inappropriately, and that she thought YOU were wrong for allowing it, then I would have told her EXACTLY how I felt about the whole thing. Tit for tat.

At that age, the whole thing is cute. And nothing more.

AmyLK said...

OH my! Something seems amiss there, huh? Consistency is key to raising children. I think its cute that they call each other B/Gfriends! <y son has 2 girlfriends but since he is 11, I think I need to have a talk with him. LOL

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

So help me to understand, Mommy Inappropriate allows her daughter to wear adult lipstick and look like a mini pageant ho and kiss boys on the mouth but the term girlfriend offended her?

That's a head scratcher!

ajm said...

I imagine Minimac picking Allison up in his Cozy Coupe and taking her for fine dining at Chuck E Cheese or something. :) That mom does need to lighten up.

Buckeroomama said...

And so the adventure begins... this probably won't be the last that you'll come across moms like Allison's mom.

Brian Miller said...

hehe. parents are so inappropriate...and she will get her wake up call when the teen years get here...

JadeLD said...

I think it's so cute that he has a few girlfriends, it's pretty harmless - as you say at that age kids don't really know what that means. It's funny how everyone has different lines of what's acceptable though, I don't have a problem with that but you shouldn't inforce your lines on other people like that lady did.

My name is PJ. said...

When I was little - eons ago - I had boyfriends from Kindergarten on....

Back then I learned the concept from Bugs Bunny!!!!

That poor woman is setting herself up for a big ulcer.....

Will Burke said...

I'll admit, I'm concerned about raising a girl in our culture, but c'mon! They're just playing with phrases like we all did. The more you try to confine & constrict, the harder they try to break out, and the more extreme they get to do it!

Simply Suthern said...

Maybe the thought of her little girl being tied down to one man was the offensive part. Ya can never tell these days.

Jules said...

Oh, JennyMac...the disappointment I have in you.....*hangs head in shame*

No, really. I knew it was only a matter of time before the ladies found MiniMac irresistible! Seriously! That mom needs to CHILL!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Allison's mom needs to get some perspective. I'd be more concerned about the lipstick than the "boyfriend."

Gigi said...

We had a similar encounter in kindergarten. All the kids were doing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing {um, TOTALLY normal for that age}.

anyway, my son, who's truly a sweet and nice boy, went up and kissed a girl on the ARM. (this was not his appointed girlfriend, BTW. she was awesome) The mom later confronted me about it, saying "we tell Miss Priss that kisses are only for mommy and daddy. So if you can ask your son not to kiss her anymore that would be great." She was nice about it - very nice in fact, but...

Like I had been fist-pumping with him and telling him to make sure he gets tongue or something.

Whatever. he found a hotter piece of ass.

Mighty M said...

I think that girl is going to have very tumultuous teenage years. My daughter says she has boyfriends and girlfriends...she is an equal opportunity date. :)

Intense Guy said...

I just got to roll my eyes over how "insane" so many mothers are... really... they have their babies too late in life and it just overwhelms their (common) senses..

brainella said...

Allison's mommy needs a Valium and a martini. Lighten up, cranky pants. How can anyone with a small child be that uptight?

Thankfully we've never had this issue at D's pre-school -- I'm waiting to see what crackpots kindergarten reveals. Save me.

Susan Erickson said...

whoa...that parent needs to find a sense of humor ...fast! She is doomed to be a, " no fun zone" and a pain in the ass forever. So be it....

Cara Smith said...

Sounds like she knows her little girl is kissing the boys and is wanting to project blame on someone else.

Lindsey said...

This is why I teach junior high students. This very situation falls back on the parents and the home environment :) I am sure Santa and his elves will deem MiniMac worthy of presents this year!

jules said...

Why do people have to cause such a ruckus over kids being ADORABLE?!?! This woman sounds like she sucks at life. I LOVE that you saw Allison getting in trouble for wearing lipstick. That is classic!

TKW said...

I live in Stepford; we have a lot of psycho mommies like that. What the Hell?

The Boob Nazi said...

Little kids having boyfriends and girlfriends is cute!! What a crazy mom.

McVal said...

Wow! She really should've lightened up a bit!
I'm just glad I never told a preschool mom that my daughter had her wedding all planned out to her son... No telling what the mom would've done!

Audreya said...

"Like our son is an unruly leprechaun" might be my favorite line I've read all week!! In fact, I laughed so hard I was clearly being inappropriate.

Increasingly often, I have no response to people's crazy behavior than to shake my head and say "Some people..." This is certainly a case for that.

Ed said...

HOLY SHIT! There's a family in your town named McNewKid? That's awesome and sad at the same time.

I wonder what Block they live on. Teehee

That Bitch was just pissed because her kid was second fiddle. Some parents can stand when their kid is First Loser. That #2 thing can be hard.

p.s. Sorry to hear your tongue is so tiny and elusive.

Allyson & Jere said...

UH-MAZING! Some people are really just too tightly wound to be alive.

I'm sad that my namesake child there has a Mom that uptight, AND that said child is apparently a hooch in the making...unbeknownst to her tighty tight mommy. OY!

I may have given "stick up her ass" Mom the look of death, implying how utterly stupid she was, which would have then made things even more uncomfortable around there. Good for you for maintaining your cool and charm.

jayme said...

allison's mom has her panties in a bunch! ...i can't wait for teenage allison to give her mama a run for her money!

Jenn @ Youknow...that Blog? said...

Oh man, that's just sad. These kids are so cute, and I don't see anything wrong with it, really. My Wee One has been paired off with her "fiance" Cameron since the beginning of JK (Jr. Kindergarten)and they're still together as they head into grade one this September. It seemed like the entire JK class paired off right from the get-go. I'm not worried about it; Cameron would sooner kiss his dog or his Tonka truck than my daughter, as cute as she is. (Strangely enough, this seems to be a new phenomenon - it never happened when the Teen was the same age.)

Allison's mom has a damaged attitude, and it's obvious by Allison's "naughty" behaviour that mom's 'tude and preaching is doing the exact opposite of what she was hoping. I just hope you're both standing there watching the next time lipstick wearing Ally goes in for a smooch.

Karma. She's a real bitch. :)

MommaAmma said...

It's really a joyous feeling when you realize your child is growing to understand love outside the walls of his own home.

My childhood friend had a mom like that. That girl turned out to be quite the lady...lady of the night.

vanilla said...

Oh, for crying in a bucket. Maybe some people are just born "over the top". You are so wise to avoid any co-responsibilities with this person.

KaelaQLC said...

How lame! I knew a few parents like that growing up - they were the parents of the "weird kids". Just imagine how she'll react in ten years when she finds her daughters birth control pills. Yikes!

Kristina P. said...

Oh, not her child! She couldn't possibly do anything inappropriate.

I see a stripper in the making!

Amy said...

My poor son (at the tender age of 5) was told that he couldn't sit next to this little girl because he liked her and would sometimes put his arm around her or kiss her cheek. Apparently "she didn't like it" and her parents asked me to "speak to him". They ended up moving her to another classroom.--Did I mention this was at church?

M-Cat said...

We did have to have a sexual harrassment discussion with my middle son's first grade class (like 10 years ago) because the girls were chasing him and pinching his butt. He didn't like it.

I think the biggest thing for parents to do is NOT overreact. Find what you are comfortable, and then chillax. The more they tend to freak out, the more their kid is going to push the limits. IE Allison.

shortmama said...

Sounds like she has "my child is a perfect angel and everything she will ever do wrong in life will be someone elses fault" syndrome.

Luckily there is a cure its called "lighten up and see it for what its worth you tight ass before I make you my bitch" syndrome.

Its the perfect treatment LOL

Herding Cats said...

It's pretty obvious that this woman has her own issues with men. She needs to relax a little bit. It's soooo ridiculous to get angry at 3 year olds.

Kat said...

That woman is in for a VERY rude awakening. I remember Cait and her friends talking about who was "going out" - this in the 5th grade. DH & I just giggled - I mean really, how great could the date be if the parents had to take them everywhere? And she thought that wearing lipstick was appropriate? I've know quite a few of these types of Moms over the years. And almost without exception, their kids ended up being hell on wheels. She needs to learn to lighten up, or at least make sure she has an open ended prescription for mommy's little helpers when her kid hits her teens!

Pricilla said...

She is going to be a grandmother in, oh, I would say about 14 years.

Southern Champagne Wishes said...

Oh, of course there has to be one parent with absolute zero sense of humor. What a complete weirdo. And the fact that she lets her child wear lipsstick to school is beyond ridiculous. That seems pretty "naughty" to me.

Eva Gallant said...

I can't believe she got bent out of shape over that! You're right. She needs to lighten up!

DaisyGal said...

oh my friend, that mom needs to remove the *&^% from her *&%. For sure.

Jacob and Gio love the girls at school and they love them, but they don't really know what it means, they are 2 for the love of all that is holy!!!!

it sounds like Allison is thinking about having a decade of her 20's like I did...which was in fact, very naughty. LOL She's well on her way.

You are raising a wonderful son and no one has the patience or wit to deal with that woman. UGH

Single Dad Laughing said...

OMG you just nailed one of my pet peeves right on the head! Luckily there is a cure found at www.removethestickfrommybutt.com.

I think it's cute.

Single Dad Laughing

Jenn@the loves of jenn said...

That lady needs a stiff drink. Oh my gosh, let your kid be a kid! Geeeeeez!!!!!! Maybe if she wasn't wearing lipstick, MiniMac might not want to be her boyfriend!!! :)

The Constant Complainer said...

As a side-note, I don't think I realized that you were on Twitter. I just started following you. Let the fun begin. @ComplaintMan

The Constant Complainer said...

Dude, it took me a second, but I got it. "Lighten up, Francis." Stripes baby!

Anyway, these situations are never easy. Children will pick up things at school even though it may drive us crazy. But this seems harmless. Like you said, it would have been different if they were older or there was some crazy stuff, like sexting, going on.

It's hard to hold your tongue, especially when people are criticizing you and/or your children. Tell that mom to get off her high-horse. LOL.

Nyx said...

Mom needs to un-wad her panties. Seriously. It's the harmless play of children (not even going to touch on the "lipstick" incident).

Poor Allison.

Mini-Mac is adorable. Simply adorable. No wonder he's got two girls ;-)

Babes Mami said...

Hahaha Karma might be paying Allisons mom a visit

Boulter trouble said...

Wow! Allisons mamma needs to pay attention to her own mothering skills rather than everyone elses. Based off the lip stick on her girl and the smooch-a-roo incident, i would bet that whoever is allisons little boyfriend is her boyfriend because she told them they are. Sounds like a problem of allisons self righteous mommy dearest.

ModernMom said...

Oh I do admire that you could bit your tounge. I had an over opiniated Mama in my daughters JK class....flet like telling her to zip it about once a week!!

PS Mentioned u on my blog today:)

Kate said...

I’ve been keeping up to date with your site, but just don’t always have time to comment (sorry). Just thought I’d say hello again so you know I’m here!

Maria said...

WOW! What a piece of work! And she lets her daughter wear lipstick to school! Did she win Mommy of the Year Award? Did the mother of the little boy she kissed have a talk to her about how "inappropriate" that was? Boy, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...too bad she didn't catch Hot Lips in action! I would have loved to hear about that!

Life with Kaishon said...

Mothers like that drive me batty. Seriously BATTY!

Send the mom a tube of lipstick in the mail and tell her you noticed that Allison was wearing the wrong shade the other day and you thought that one would be better. : )

Aging Mommy said...

There is being a good mother and then there is being totally uptight and this lady is the latter. It is just so very natural for children even this young to say and do those things and treating it as anything other than harmless fun I think sends totally the wrong message to a child.

The Random Blogette said...

That is so ridiculous! How can a mom get so upset over this? And especially since you said that she has worn lipstick to school and kissed boy on the mouth! Maybe this mom needs a serious reality check before her daughter gets knocked up before high school. Hopefully there isn't something else going on in their household.

Emily said...

Ok, that mommy needs to get her panties out of her ass. You know, it's been my observation that the ones who seems to have the most "problems" are the ones that lack the ability to discipline, explain, etc, themselves.

Mommy Lisa said...

Wow. That is how we tease BooBooLaLa by asking her "Is Jordan your boyfriend?" I mean she has teenage brother and sister - she knows that it's your favorite boy and/or girl. ;) But she just won't let her Daddy be my boyfriend, when I call him that she says, "No mama, he's your HUS-band, not your boyfriend."

sigh. I want a boyfriend.

Jennifer said...

Oh Miss JennyMac, where were your giant silver sparkly cojones on this one? I would have told that mother to see the doctor to get the stick removed from her butt. I can't believe lipstick on a preschooler is appropriate but using the term girlfriend is naughty. I am all about telling people how I see it.
Well, ones that really deserve it anyway!

Myya said...

SERIOUSLY big freakin deal! You know, it is her daughter that is going to end up being a total "naughty" girl because her mom is soooooo against cute normal childhood behavior. Oh & lipstick... I would have had a hayday with that one. Ok maybe I wouldn't have really said anything but I would have wanted to :) Lipstick for play is one thing but to school & especially after making a whole ordeal out of boyfriend/girlfriend calling... COME ON LADY!!!

hotpants™ said...

That little girl will be the first one to get knocked up because her parents are such prudes. Just sayin'.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Poor Allison. I bet she is going to be a wild child... she'd have to be with parents like that.
"Lighten up", indeed!

Anita said...

Hi JennyMac, I just came over from PJ's where she talked a little about Minimac's ordeal; or more accurately, your ordeal.
I'm sorry you had to go through that ridiculous episode, and hope that you haven't had a follow up comment from the paranoid mom.